SCP-093-J Green Test
rating: +31+x

After the events of the Blue Test led to the loss of a perfectly good ladder, Dr. Feldmann was volunteered for the next incursion. Dr. Feldmann managed to induce a new green color in SCP-093. It is believed that this is somehow linked to her belief in centrism.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Feldmann: You're sure this is safe, right?

Dr. Calvin: Just relax. You have a shotgun; that should fell the beast.

Dr. Goodman: You should've given her an RPG.

Dr. Feldmann: For the millionth time, I'm a scientist. I have no idea how to use a rocket launcher.

Dr. Goodman: Pussy.

<Ignoring Dr. Goodman, Dr. Feldmann steps through the mirror and into the lifeless, desolate dimension on the other side. Similarly to the past incursion, she emerges in a corn-filled plain. Contrasting the other plain is the overgrown grass, which has grown up to Dr. Feldmann's kneescp. In the distance, there is a dilapidated farmhouse atop a hill. A roar is heard in the distance, causing Dr. Feldmann to flinch.>

Dr. Feldmann: Can't we get a robot to do this? This place gives me the creeps.

Dr. Calvin: We can't get 'em to do shit anymore, ever since they formed the robot union.

Dr. Goodman: The robots have a union?

Dr. Calvin: Yeah.

Dr. Goodman: Why do they have a union but we don't?

Dr. Feldmann: We don't have a union? That explains why they're able to put shit in our brains.

Dr. Calvin: Don't you know? There's an SCP that breaches containment if the researchers unionize.

Dr. Goodman: Which one?

Dr. Calvin: It's classified.

<During this conversation, Dr. Feldmann has reached the farm house. The fields outside the house was used to grow corn at one point; despite the outright dilapidated state of the house, the corn appears to be completely healthy. The white paint has chipped off, and the wood making up the door has deteriorated into pulp. The orange substance from earlier coats parts of the exterior wall.>

Dr. Calvin: Tell us what's in there.

Dr. Feldmann: They have TV! King of the Hill's on now, right?

Dr. Goodman: It's 10 in the morning, dumbass.

Dr. Feldmann: Maybe it's on at a different time in this universe? Did you ever think of that?

<Dr. Feldmann picks up a book on the ottoman and begins to flip through it.>

Dr. Feldmann: Damn it. They don't have a TV Guide, they just have this weird rambling book about how the government's destroying humanity.

Dr. Calvin: I knew it, this reality does have libertarians!

Dr. Feldmann: This is interesting. Apparently, a guy came to this universe and got people to worship him. It's weird, though. The book only calls him "Him."


Dr. Feldmann: Wait. that's a smudge. It actually says "Kim."

<Dr. Feldmann looks out the window. She sees two of the creatures from before: large faceless humanoids lacking body parts below the torso. They appear to be aimlessly wandering.>

Dr. Feldmann: The weird guys without legs are outside. They're just crawling around.

Dr. Goodman: Dude, shoot it.

Dr. Feldmann: Are you crazy? They almost killed you.

Dr. Goodman: Just snipe it. It'll be awesome.


Dr. Feldmann: <Smirks.> Yeah, you're totally right.

<Dr. Feldmann opens the window and aims at one of the creatures. She pulls the trigger; as expected, the bullets from the shell scatter and have no noticeable effect on the entities. They both roar and begin moving towards the farm house at an incredible speed, crushing the immense amount of corn as they go.>

Dr. Feldmann: Holy shit, what do I do?

Dr. Goodman: They don't have legs, they can't go up stairs.

Dr. Calvin: Go into the basement, they can't fit through the door.

Dr. Feldman: Well, you two are goddamn helpful.

Dr. Calvin: Don't worry, we can do Rock-Paper-Scissors to find out who's right.

Dr. Feldman: Oh, for fuck's sake!

<Dr. Feldmann turns around and begins walking up the stairway. However, a giant arm bursts through the wall, grabs Dr. Feldmann, and pulls her out of the house. After being tossed to the ground, the entity slams its face into Dr. Feldmann, smashing the camera.>

<For a period of time, Dr. Goodman and Dr. Calvin sit in silence, contemplating what they've done.>

Dr. Goodman: This wouldn't have happened if we gave her the RPG.

Dr. Calvin: When you're right, you're right. I can't believe we lost a perfectly good piece of video equipment!


Dr. Calvin: I don't think we're getting SCP-093 back after that.

Dr. Goodman: Does that mean we get to go home early?

<Suddenly, SCP-093 launches itself out of the mirror, spins around the room like a boomerang, and collides back into the testing mirror.>

Dr. Goodman and Dr. Calvin: Shit.

<End Log>

The next test is the Purple test

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