rating: +288+x

Item #: SCP-031-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: On October ██ agents are to be given an assorted amount of candy and placed strategically in each city. When approached agents are to distribute the candy so as to avoid hostilities. Agents are urged to not distribute items pertaining to dental hygiene.

Description: SCP-031-J is an event that occurs annually. Analyses of trends have pinpointed the event to fall on October ██, however minor fluctuations are suspected. The trend of appearance of the event mainly occurs in North America and Western Europe, however rogue instances of SCP-031-J may manifest in various cities worldwide.

At the time of an SCP-031-J event, several instances of SCP-031-J-1 will manifest on various city streets. Appearances of instances of SCP-031-J-1 vary wildly, however they have been described as mainly grotesque. Documented instances have resembled historical figures, pop culture icons and occasionally instances of SCP-777-J, SCP-1344-J and SCP-2008-J. Typically instances will be much shorter than an average adult, with an average height of ~1.4 meters.

Instances of SCP-031-J-1 will approach households in an ordered fashion and exclaim "█████ or █████". The exact meaning of this phrase is unknown, however researchers have suggested that this may indicate that the instances will damage the household or owners unless they are given some form of appeasement. This is verified by the giving of candy to instances of SCP-031-J-1, which appears to appease them until the next household.

Shorter instances of SCP-031-J-1 show a tendency to place various adult humans in a trance state. Subjects act with a spirit of benevolence towards instances, and will fiercely defend instances in case of attack.1

SCP-031-J also has several other effects:

  • Adolescents, especially males, show a marked tendency to vandalize households through creative uses of toilet paper
  • Pumpkins displaying faces of varying delight and malevolence appear on the doorsteps of households
  • The transformation of various households into what researchers have described as "terrifying." Normal households may gain cobwebs, graves, whisk brooms, and animate humanoid corpses2 along their exterior.
  • Larger instances of SCP-031-J-1 showing signs of inebriation

Addendum 031-J-1: Interview Log 031-J-1:

Interviewer: Dr. ███████

Interviewed: Instance of SCP-031-J-1

Background: This instance of SCP-031-J-1 was quickly intercepted by Dr. ██████ during an SCP-031-J event. The instance was quickly interviewed before hostilities emerged.

<Begin Log>

Dr. ███████: Hello?

SCP-031-J-1: Helloooooo!

Dr. ███████: What… what are you?

SCP-031-J-1: I'm a ghoooooost!

Dr. ███████: You're a departed spirit?

SCP-031-J-1: No, I'm a ghooooost! Ooga booga booga!

Dr. ███████: (Aside to researchers) Note possible hostility. (To SCP-031-J-1) I mean, are you dead?

SCP-031-J-1: D-dead?

Dr. ███████: Yes, were you formerly a dead person?

SCP-031-J-1: No… I'm just… (Begins emitting high-pitched wailing noise)

Dr. ███████: Shit! It's hostile, run!

<End Log>

Smaller instances appear to be more aggressive - Dr. ███████

Interview Log 031-J-2:

Interviewer: Dr. ███████

Interviewed: Larger instance SCP-031-J-1

Background: This instance was approached following its liberal use of toilet paper on a vehicle.

<Begin Log>

Dr. ███████: Why have you decorated that vehicle in such an odd way?

SCP-031-J-1: Who the fuck are you?

Dr. ███████: Does it appease your god?

SCP-031-J-1: What? No. You aren't going to call the cops are you?

Dr. ███████: (Consulting with research team) No, we will not. Now, what are you?

SCP-031-J-1: I'm Hugh Hefner, what does it look like?

Dr. ███████: My research team has just checked. Hugh Hefner is currently in his mansion in [REDACTED]

SCP-031-J-1: Are you retarded or something? Look, I've got the pipe and the robe.

Dr. ███████: My god!

<End Log>

Possible case of bilocation. Further research is required. - Dr. ███████

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