SCP-002-DE-J
Does the yellow moon sniff?
To the heavens and beyond!
To: Dr. Stein
By: O4-🧀
Subject: SCP-002-DE-J
Good day Dr. Stein,
I hereby confirm your voluntary transfer to the memetic department and additionally send your first project in the appendix.
Sincerely,
O4-🧀
Item #: SCP-002-DE-J
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Complete containment of SCP-002-DE-J is currently unfeasible. Staff affected by SCP-002-DE-J's secondary effect are to be led to believe the moon consists of basalt.
Description: SCP-002-DE-J designates a moldy growth on the moon's surface, which has been identified as dairy mold (Geotrichum candidum) according to studies. It is still unknown how the mold came into being, as the cheese from the moon has been deemed a long shell life. SCP-002-DE-J has already formed a deep mycelium structure in the moon's inside, and slowly degrades it, which could yield drastic consequences for the Earth's climate and tides.
A secondary effect by SCP-002-DE-J seems to be of memetic nature, and creates in all humans the idea that the moon would consist of several rocks, containing the solid iron core therein. But, in actual fact, its inside sloshes with proceeded cheese.
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Anomaly Effect SCP-12331 An arrival event took place, which initially became noticeable through a comet-like celestial body with green tail. Its impact in [REDACTED] caused a crater of normal size for such an event, but large splashes of regurgitated matter were simultaneously fired in all directions. SCP-1233 has been in Foundation custody since then, refusing to travel back to the moon. Three Moons Initiative2 Subjects implanted with SCP-29223 and subsequently made a series of calls stated the Man in the Moon fled to Corbenic after the mold's mycellium penetrated his dwelling. SCP-19414 Reclassified to Explained after it was discovered that it was, in fact, caused by the Swiss branch of the Foundation, who left the planet due to their discovery. SCP-26865 Sent a letter to the Foundation advocating SCP-002-DE-J and pleased with the calm atmosphere. CODE NAME: Dr. Leo - Trabant / End of an Era6 Its occurrence was followed by Site-M001 reporting a green storm of mold particles due to the increased lunar rotation. As a result, the moon showed a green glow on the night sky, thus causing a broken-masquerade scenario. But since a majority of humans were busy with violently acquiring Swiss cheese, this can be disregarded.7 SCP-36368 Cried "My time has come" in the moon's direction (See incident SCP-002-DE-J for further details)
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Foreword: The following consists of a recorded conversation between two Foundation scientists and marks the first occurence of SCP-002-DE-J's secondary effect in personnel.
Dr. Casu: Let us now turn our attention to SCP-002-DE-J…
Dr. Stein: Uh yes, this supposed mold on the moon. It was a given that something like this would quickly make the rounds here. Don't we have nothing better to do?
Dr. Casu: Supposed? We have enough evidence for its existence: Photos, videos, etc.
Dr. Stein: Basalt sprouting mold seems anomalous to me. However, given all the abstruse stuff in these halls, I believe in everything by now.
Dr. Casu rolls an overhead projector over, which shows an image of the moon on the opposite wall. SCP-002-DE-J is clearly visible thereon.
Dr. Casu: Well, what do you see?
Dr. Stein: Basalt, craters, stars, and the endless darkness of our universe.
Dr. Casu: All but the first two is correct. I can almost smell this Emmentaler. And those aren't craters, but holes left by the lactic acid bacteria up there, ya' know.
Dr. Stein: Sure, and the Earth's flat.
Dr. Casu: This morning moon cheese was served with the roll. Our toxicological eggheads classified it as mold-free, which is why you shouldn't be worrying about tubby trouble.
Dr. Stein: How could I, if I didn't eat that soggy basalt. Speaking of food: Why did all the rest of you eat it, then?
Dr. Casu: The mold creates spores, which then trickle down upon the Earth. But since we are trained in memetic resistance, their effect on us is weak to futile.
Dr. Stein: That's why it's so foggy today… Anyway, I will now prove that I'm right.
Dr. Stein leads Dr. Casu in a dark room featuring several flashing lights and a huge screen. Following a short flickering, Site-M0019 becomes visible.
Leading Administrator Abalbrand Mani: Another?
Dr. Casu: Yes, the usual.
Dr. Stein: Mister Mani, may you confirm the basaltic composition of the moon?
Leading Administrator Abalbrand Mani: No, but I can confirm to you that you won't be pleased by the e-mail I've sent to you due to your inability of pronouncing my name in its entirety.
Dr. Stein: Forgive me, Leading Administrator Adalbrand Mani.
Mister Mani:101112 Get yourself a memetic inoculation and be quiet!
Dr. Stein switches off the screen and looks at a photo of the moon landing.
Dr. Stein: Wait, the Swiss were the first on the moon? And why are they eating basalt? What the hell is going on here?!
Dr. Casu: Perhaps it would help you, if we were there. Unfortunately, I have no idea how we are going to manage it.
Dr. Stein: (Ominous) I do.
Recording stops and later resumes on the moon.
Dr. Casu: I'm torn whether I should deem your plan in-genius or simply blockheaded.
Dr. Stein: What? Learning Mousish was not easy and once you tell those rodents of a huge cheese ball, there is no hold. It's just funny that they actually feast on the basalt.
Dr. Casu: 'Cause the moon is still made up of cheese.
Dr. Stein: I'll believe it when I see it.
Dr. Casu grabs Dr. Stein and turns him towards a window, through which the distant Earth is visible upon the yellow food ball.
Dr. Stein gazes upon the flat Earth in shock.
Dr. Stein: Wait, the Earth is flat?!
Dr. Casu: Well, I see a ball and no disc, you paper mache head!
Dr. Stein: Disc!
Dr. Stein: Ball!
Afterword: Dr. Stein and Dr. Casu were reported missing. Furthermore, Site-DE11 reported of a set of house mice13 wearing space suits, some with regurgitated matter in their helmets. As the moon's mass has significantly decreased due to the mice infestation and dairy mold, the German Branch now cooperates with the Swiss' to re-build the moon.
Incident SCP-002-DE-J: Neutralization:
On the ██.██.20██, immense seismic activity was registered in the whole Pacific Ocean, causing several tsunamis and undersea volcanic eruptions. Approximately 15 minutes later, a gigantic specimen of the Canis Lupus genus rose from the sea. The entity, later identified as LTE-271214 howled towards the sky, then jumped out of the Earth's orbit, and consumed SCP-002-DE-J. Simultaneously, a majority of the human population was evacuated into bunkers, what will prove effective near the end of the incident, as LTE-2712-Bosch gastrointestinally unloaded itself upon the Earth, covering the half facing the moon at the moment in regurgitated matter and diary mold.Footnotes1. A humanoid entity wearing a space suit that periodically falls from the sky.2. Owns a portal to Corbenic (Hereafter) atop the moon.3. An app allowing for telepathic communication with the world of the dead.4. A mysterious crater on the moon's surface that suggests advanced alien life.5. A magician inhabiting a protected area on the moon.6. An event caused by a special planetary constellation that triggers violence in humans.7. Again the Swiss? There's something cheesy about that.8. A wolf eating the god Máni in form of lunar rocks.9. A site of the German Branch of the Foundation that is located on the moon.10. (:<11. I'll get you too!12. D:13. (Mus musculus)14. A set of wolf teeth in the Atlantic Ocean.
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"SCP-002-DE-J" by Karpfisch, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/scp-002-de-j. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.
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