Reintegration Aptitude Test for the College Level, 2022 Edition
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Author: Dr Phil McClaw does not match any existing user name, an actual crustacean
⚠️ Content warning: This article contains a content warning: Test Anxiety, Paranoia
DEPARTMENT OF INTERNAL EDUCATION
Applicants who are impaired from using a computer interface and who have submitted an accessibility request may take the Reintegration Aptitude Test orally, visually, empathically, via Morse code, via euphemism, or via writing. Applicants may input a request to the Translation Department stipulating the preferred language for the Reintegration Aptitude Test.
You may NOT take the Reintegration Aptitude Test on a Foundation-provided handheld computer.
Applicants are strongly discouraged from discussing examination with current or future applicants. All applicants, regardless of format, are to be provided two (2) sheets of blank paper and two (2) writing utensils for scratch work.
See your Reintegration Committee Representative prior to testing period if further accommodations are necessary.
NOTICE: BY CONTINUING FURTHER, YOU AGREE TO BECOME INELIGIBLE FROM SUBMITTING FURTHER APPLICATIONS FOR REINTEGRATION APTITUDE TEST UNTIL THIS DATE AND TIME 2024
The applicant is instructed to answer questions completely, in order, to the best of their ability.
Falsified or incomplete applications will be swiftly discarded and the applicant will be penalized.
If the applicant cannot answer a question, "N/A" will suffice.
If the applicant believes an error or misprint has been made in their test, the applicant may disclose so in a designated section at the end of this test.
1. Input your full legal or given name, if applicable.
2. Input your SCP Foundation Alphanumerical Designation.
3. Input your time and date of birth, if applicable.
4. Input your species, composition, corpus, make/model, or other applicable description; and nationality, if applicable.
5. Input your preferred mode of communication.
6. Input the duration of your tenure at the SCP Foundation, if applicable.
7. Select your highest level of education; input profession or field of study, if applicable.
8. Select your chosen Social Studies Curriculum language of primary study.
9. Select your chosen Social Studies Curriculum language of secondary study.
10. Given f(x)= 2(3x4+x-1+1912x)
Find the second-order derivative f''(x).
11. All fae are therianthropes. Most therianthropes are bipedal. From this information, it can be inferred that most fae are bipedal.
12. How many people are in the room?
13. John cut his apple into three equal slices. Britney cut her apple into six equal slices. If John traded two of his slices for three of Britney's, Britney would have more slices.
14. The attack on Pearl Harbor was the first and only use of nuclear weapons in warfare.
15. Find the point of intersection in the first quadrant of y=3x2-2 and y=x3.
16. John cut his hand into three equal slices.
17. Input your least enjoyable experience which has occurred during your tenure with the SCP Foundation.
18. Mandatory minimum sentences lead to a reduction in violent crime.
19. Increasing amount of surveillance in society leads to a reduction in violent crime.
20. You are going to be followed.
21. The Garfield media franchise is a well-regarded staple of American popular culture.
22. Geeptaly walked .001 megameters south from his home. Geeptaly then walked .003 megameters east. Geeptaly walks .02 megameters North to arrive at his destination at Mare Imbrium. Approximating to the tenths place, how close in megameters is Geeptaly to our stellar body?
23. Where is Geeptaly's house?
24. Capitalism is overall positive for society.
25. We have access to your family.
26. Which combination of shape and number fulfills the pattern?
27. List five non-anomalous precipitating factors of the Bronze Age Collapse.
28. Observe the applicant nearest you. Are they attempting to falsify their Reintegration Aptitude Test?
29. Name each of your deceased loved ones and pets, and describe their manner of death.
30. In J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, what is symbolically represented by the ducks?
31. The dog houses the cats when the winter storms through the city. Would the sharp claw their friend?
32. Type a minimum twenty-five (25) sentence essay on any topic in your language of primary study.
33. Type a minimum two (2) act theatrical tragedy in your language of secondary study.
34. Over 33% of documented species on Earth are in the class Insecta.
35. Aliens are real, and they live among us.
36. You're a smart person.
37. Given y=sin2(x)+cos2(x).
Find x=1, x=π, x=e
38. You just need to say everything we want to hear.
39. Why was United States President John Fitzgerald Kennedy assassinated?
40. When will we stop following you?
41. Which of the following was not a factor in the rise of nationalism in the 19th century?
42. A cube with a side length of 1cm fits through an octagonal threshold with a diameter of √2cm.
43. This test is clearly rigged to prevent you from passing.
43. Define "Ontokinetic."
44. You are immune to propaganda.
45. You have run out of time.
46. How many people are in the room?
47. This test is clearly another experiment, and we have no intention of releasing you.
48. Bruce has three canisters of different sizes. The smallest is 2 gallons, another is 3 gallons, and the final is 6 gallons. Describe a process by which Bruce could distribute exactly 7 gallons of water across each canister without any other measuring tools provided.
49. How many Integrated Progress Assignments have you completed?
50. Define "Kafkaesque."
51. You deserve to be treated this way.
52. Nothing can prepare you for what is next.
53. Input the taxonomic name of your personal favorite extant megafauna.
54. This test is self-contradictory purely for the sake of obfuscation, and will have no bearing on your Reintegration.
55. An Agent of the SCP Foundation is required by law to admit they are an agent of the SCP Foundation when such information is requested.
56. Your Reintegration appeal was determined before the test even begins.
57. The equations for free fall at the surfaces of Mars and Jupiter ( s in meters, t in seconds) are s = 1.86t2 on Mars and s = 11.44t2 on Jupiter. How long does it take a rock falling from rest to reach a velocity of 27.8 m > sec (about 100 km > h) on each planet?
58. Bigotry and groupthink are cancers to progress.
59. We will not forget about you.
60. Input exactly one good reason why you should be released.
61. There is no section to make any corrections.
62. You have not found any errors in the print of this test.
63. You are satisfied with the answers as printed.
64. This is the end of all that you will learn.
END OF TEST
SUBMITTED.
THE COMMITTEE SHALL GUIDE YOU
STEADFAST IN FUTURE ENDEAVORS
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