Top 100 facts about Scarlet King

1. Scarlet King was once bitten by Nahash the Serpent; after seven whole excruciating days, Nahash died.
2. Scarlet King once wanted to count for SCP-033 seconds and sneeze; it had scared SCP-033 to the point of deleting itself.
3. Scarlet King stared at Pattern Screamer once for him being too noisy; in light of this, Pattern Screamer invented π and hid himself in its last digit.
4. The Cosmic Starfish had been terrestrial before Scarlet King ridded him into the ocean.
5. There is no Foundation database, just a list of anomalies Scarlet King allows to live.
6. To make interaction between SCP-055 and SCP-579 is essentially to make a phone call to Scarlet King.
7. SCP-2845 had been the most intelligent creature in the universe before he began pondering the weaknesses of Scarlet King.
8. Scarlet King changes his horns twice a year.
9. Mekhane once challenged Scarlet King for having the slimest build; the Broken God won in the end.
10. Scarlet King is red.
11. It's believed that SCP-500 is made of Scarlet King's tears, albeit he never cries.
12. Scarlet King has seven to the seventh power ways to destroy the world, but he usually only uses the first one — getting up on the wrong side of the bed.
13. The brides of Scarlet King were chosen in an audition on a multiversal online dating site.
14. The seven King's Spears are actually Scarlet King's toothpicks.
15. Antimemes exist because they're afraid of being memorized by Scarlet King.
16. Scarlet King has vowed to destroy the Tree of Knowledge for it blocked the sight between himself and Sanna.
17. The word "normalcy" means "Scarlet King doesn't give a fuck".
18. Yaldabaoth is an escapee from Scarlet King's breakfast.
19. The Two Trees of Valinor were grown out of the two horns of Scarlet King.
20. Scarlet King praises Procedure 110-Montauk for being a great ASMR for sleep.
21. The devouring of Scarlet King's brother has been recorded by historians as the first family dinner in the history.
22. Scarlet King leaves those six chains of SCP-2317 broken because he thinks that's more fashionable.
23. Scarlet King is an official unit used by the Foundation; 1 Scarlet King = ∞ XK end-of-the-world scenarios.
24. In Scarlet King's eyes, "Special Containment Procedures" means gift boxes waiting for him to open.
25. Scarlet King doesn't exist; he only allows "existence" to exist so that he gets a place to put his little crown down.
26. Scarlet King has deleted all weekdays between Sunday and Monday.
27. Scarlet King prefers strawberry pudding to screaming souls and fresh blood.
28. Scarlet King once ordered a cup of SCP-3999 via SCP-294, then drank the cup and left the content intact.
29. Cosmic microwave background is just the snores of Scarlet King.
30. Scarlet King keeps the other half of SCP-529 as his pet.
31. The reason for all lives to exist is a joke made by Scarlet King; all their hearts have to laugh until they die.
32. Scarlet King doesn't need concepts; concepts need Scarlet King.
33. This is Scarlet King's favorite joke: Knock Knock! — Who's there? — Whoever he is, he's not your brother.
34. Scarlet King turns a random concept red whenever he yawns.
35. SCP-140 is a fanfiction written by the young Scarlet King.
36. Scarlet King uses SCP-096's picture as wallpaper on his phone.
37. Every month, Scarlet King goes to Walmart to buy brighteners for his horns.
38. When Scarlet King can't finish his summer homework, time stops and apologizes to him.
39. Sometimes laws of physics compare with each other, saying, "I did a more important thing for Scarlet King today than you!"
40. All internet disconnections are Scarlet King's fault.
41. All toes-kicking-at-the-corner-of-cabinet are also Scarlet King's fault.
42. All bad stuff are Scarlet King's fault; those aren't done by Scarlet King are still Scarlet King's fault.
43. Scarlet King owns an alternative Foundation for containing everything that hasn't been destroyed by him.
44. The three Brothers of Death used to have a fourth member, until he tried messing with Scarlet King.
45. Even so, Brothers of Death still play cards with Scarlet King at the seventh day of every month.
46. Scarlet King writes his programs in base-seven.
47. Sometimes Scarlet King braids his tentacles into pigtails.
48. Before coming into existence, everything shall ask Scarlet King for permission, "would this be acceptable?"
49. The Children of Night did become extinct at Scarlet King's hands; all because he wanted to pick a flower as a present for Sanna.
50. Scarlet King once looked into the eyes of Chuck Norris.
51. Scarlet King created SCP-999 in order to test if the absolute cuteness can balance out the absolute horror.
52. Scarlet King knows you're reading this page; thankfully he doesn't care.
53. All books in the Wanderers' Library are diaries by Scarlet King.
54. Scarlet King actually suffers from severe erythrophobia.
55. Scarlet King is Nian.
56. Scarlet King is Santa Claus.
57. Scarlet King's wikidot ID is scarletking123!.
58. Scarlet King has never received a greeting card on Father's Day.
59. Scarlet King wanted some home-made cured meat, hence the Hanged King was born.
60. Linguists use "the smile of Scarlet King" to describe something not able to happen.
61. In the beginning there was nothing, until Scarlet King slapped at nothing's face and yelled, "Do something you piece of shit!" And that was the beginning of everything.
62. Everything was the same, until getting beaten up by Scarlet King into different shapes.
63. SCP-8900-EX once told Scarlet King that red isn't the best color.
64. Scarlet King will win and lose the same war at the same time; or course, that is a thing Scarlet King does and doesn't do.
65. The higher narrative wrote Scarlet King — Thus spake and wrote Scarlet King.
66. Scarlet King's food at Holy Communion is fried chicken that hasn't thawed before being put into the fryer.
67. Scarlet King's holy water is lukewarm Coca-Cola without bubbles.
68. Scarlet King responds to all prayers from his believers by leaving them on read.
69. Scarlet King hasn't invaded our world yet, mainly because he has a bad procrastination problem.
70. Scarlet King's throne is implemented with an intelligent massaging and grilling function.
71. The last question of your math exam was created by Scarlet King.
72. Scarlet King once tried to be merciful for a split second; this has directly caused the extinction of dinosaurs.
73. Scarlet King once formed a band with the Witch of Obliteration and Sevenfold Destroyers; eventually they disbanded because of disagreement on musical concepts.
74. Scarlet King once took part in and won a Presidental Election in the United States.
75. The worst nightmare to Scarlet King is hearing someone asking him, "Mister, who are you?"
76. The true name of Scarlet King is not Scarlet King. It's his name only because he unintentionally bit his tongue on his self-introduction and he was too embarrased to correct it, and that has been continously mistaken for his true name till today.
77. Scarlet King can't make more of this shit up.
78. This is Scarlet King's favorite joke: Knock Knock! — Who's there? — Whoever he is, he's not your brother (Duplicated for he really likes this joke).
79. Scarlet King's favorite wish is world's peace, as he can destroy all those worlds with the reason "you failed to fulfill this particular wish".
80. Scarlet King's code of law consists of 7777777 articles, all of them are "you are guilty".
81. Scarlet King once discovered a world that meets all of his requirements perfectly, but he accidentally destroyed it out of habit upon descending into that world.
82. Scarlet King considers "hope" as the most flawless calamity he has ever created.
83. Every sentence said by Scarlet King is a horned Pan pun.
84. Scarlet King's hair contains all colors of the rainbow: rose, salmon, burgundies, vermilion, incarnadine, crimson, scarlet.
85. Scarlet King is a President Emeritus of the Ethics Committee.
86. Scarlet King searches for fan arts with tag "scarlet_king" and hits the like button anonymously.
87. Does the black moon howl? — Yes, ever since he met Scarlet King.
88. Scarlet King doesn't really want to destroy all worlds; he is just panhandling so that he can gift money to friends on his wedding.
89. Scarlet King can put people into pregnancy via his sight.
90. It is widely considered that Scarlet King gives the greatest sense of security among all gods, for there is no god more dangerous than him.
91. Scarlet King recalls all embarrassing things he has done before he sleeps.
92. Scarlet King destroys a world on every birthday. Incidentally, his birthday is on every day.
93. The true self of Scarlet King is a giant red kaktus¹.
94. The true self of Scarlet King is an axolotl.
95. Scarlet King never stops giving birth to children because he wants to pull for the rarest limited character.
96. Scarlet King loves broccoli.
97. The Scarlet King is a mysterious being from the online science/horror fiction collaborative writing project SCP Foundation, appearing in a large number of its articles.
98. Scarlet King has a little blanket to hug and sleep with.
99. Only 77 of the lines above are genuine facts.
100. This article isn't actually written by any authors; the words assemble themselves out of fear.

‡ Licensing / Citation

Cite this page as:

"Top 100 facts about Scarlet King" by Pololo, translated by vxeov, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/qusbbxbjqiuakskmz. Licensed under CC BY-SA.

For information on how to use this component, see the License Box component. To read about licensing policy, see the Licensing Guide.

Original Article: http://scp-wiki-cn.wikidot.com/qusbbxbjqiuakskmz

Footnotes

1. Translator's Note: The original says "a giant red mailbox", which refers to the Master Administrator of CN Branch who uses a picture of robot that resembles a mailbox as his avatar on social media. Here I substitute a equally well-known user for him.