"Woah, guys, check it out, it keeps going!"
I kept descending, as I talked to the camera, my only companion in the pitch dark staircase of the abandoned campus. It wasn't the most talking, although it wasn't awkward to be around it, like you would with your father-in-law (at least from my experience).
As I went down, I could feel the freezing presence of the subterranean cold. If you've been deep underground, you'll understand what I mean. You see, underground cold is not the same as the one you feel on the surface, no, it's humid and… dead, just like a corpse. As I went down, I could even see my breath floating away, then fading into the darkness that wrapped around me. This cold has the ability to bite your bones without even seizing your skin, but it was ok this time; I had taken my "The North Face" jacket with me.
"Oh, and by the way, subscribe if you haven't already, it's free and I'll continue taking you on adventures like this!"
I stopped walking, as my flashlight illuminated a glimpse of some kind of picture on the moldy concrete wall. I turned the light beam towards it, although I needed to come closer to it as the darkness was unusually strong.
"Look at that, it lools like some sort of graff-"
please…
I suddenly froze, as a ghostly finger slithered down my spine. I could have sworn, that a quiet sobbing coming from the inferior stairs had just interrupted my video. Not without an initial hesitation, I called the sobbing person, scared by the sudden noise of my own voice.
"Hello?"
"Hello, guys, happy new year! Tanner here, and today I explored this abandoned school and you won't believe what I found…"
Of course, I said this to encourage the viewers to keep watching, these ruins are usually overexplored and uninteresting, cause you cant ever be the first one in anything. I got to convince them that it is going to be interesting so they'll continue watching until they forget they're bored.
I flew the drone around for some shots that would go in both the intro and the outro. It took gently off the ground, even gentler than a butterfly on a windless day. It rose, followed by the invisible beams from my pupils. After watchimg its turbines in complete hypnosis, I looked down at the screen that showed me its POV. With the drone's eyes, I looked at the building. It was beautiful: the abandoned campus stood imposingly amongst the vegetation like an old war veteran; withered, but with that steel-like vibe. It seemed to defy nature, forgetting its age and its loneliness. I envied the building's composture and confidence, I felt like I could have used it many times.
Bazillion different types of plants, most bushes and vines had claimed different territories of the lonely structure, competing to see who would gain the privilege of sunlight. However, the elite which was composed by Trees and climbing plants won the battle. Of course, they might have been the minority, but they definitely reached highrer than any other plants. Meanwhile the bushes, ferns and smaller plants had their own battle to see which one would get the loafs that the bigger plants threw down the table, like in a Dickens novel.
The drone flew around the building, capturing its now long forgotten glory from altitudes that nature had only reserved for those who it had gifted with soaring the skies, never meant for the human eye to admire. It was indeed a really valuable treasure, though I was a human, and I, like everyone, wasn't capable of valuing my richness.
With the controller resting on my hands and the warm winter sun caressing my face, I felt like a kid, playing with my RC helicopter. Though I never had it, nor parents to buy me toys, or anything like that. This feeling, I now realise, had trapped me, bound me with a rope, and then proceeded to lead me to its nest, where it would devour me slowly and quietly. Of course, I didn't know it.
"Hello?"
I remained quiet, trying to hear the sobbing again. Had I imagined it? I hoped so, as I didn't like the idea of hearing ghostly sobs in the depths of an abandoned staircase. I waited for it to come back, counting my heartbeats and breathing so slowly that I doubt any nearby bat would have been able to hear it. Despite my anxious waiting, It didn't return, and before I realised, I had been staring at the darkness for almost five minutes. Great, I could breath again.
"Um… I'm not sure guys, but I think I heard something down there. It must've been my imagination, but… let me know down in the comments if you also heard it, and if anyone has any idea of what it could be."
Only my breath, and the darkness, with its omniscient, yet invisible presence answered me. My camera didn't even do as much as to look at me, behaving insolently as if I had done it anything wrong. Still though, a bit of talking calmed me down, so I could continue the video.
I turned the flashlight to the graffiti on the wall. Ok, It didn't really look like a graffiti, but rather a picture a four year-old would draw with chalk crayons. I used to draw with them when I was a kif, but I would only do it at school, then I would use the most colorful chalks I could possibly find. This one instead, had no colors other than white and the sick grey of the moldy wall.
"What's that"
I kept drawing, ignoring the pit bull-like boy standing in front of my table. I was very good at drawing, or at least I think so, as the teachers at the orphanage would always tell me to draw them something. Everytime I gave them a drawing, they hanged it on the wall and told me how good it was, surely drawing a sun on my face.
"I said, what's that?"
Just like that, my drawing, like some magic trick, dissappeared from my hands. I looked up and saw the boy, who had taken my drawing and was now looking at it. I wasn't sure he liked or not, but judging by my relationship with him, I didn't expect him to hang it on the wall.
"Give it back!" I asked, no, I begged, ready for a losing battle like so many countless ones in the past.
As expected, the boy (I think he was called Rowley) showed no signs of returning the art piece, and seemed to not have understood me, as he asked me if I wanted it back. I said yes, surprised by the boy's sudden mind change. He was maybe not that bad, after all, but that foolish thought vanished as he made a ball with it and threw it to another boy.
I desperately runned back and forth, pursuing my drawing, which flied around like a restless bird from one boy to another. I begged, and asked, and cried, but that only fed their amusement. Then, like moved by some sort of unconcious agreement, they runned to the bathroom. They probably loved basketball, as they threw it in the toilet from an impressive distance and scored. "Goal!"
I retrieved the dripping picture and opened it, looking at the house and the smiling family that lived in it. The water melted my picture in my hands, and threw it on the floor, feeding on the tears that rained from my eyes.
The picture on the wall showed several stickman figures, one that was smaller than the others and two that were a bit bigger, one with a triangle instead of the normal stick body. All three were holding their hands, well, their arms, as they had no discernible fingers.
I stared at it, while the figures grinned back at me. I would have smiled them back, but I didn't want to get an awkward look from the darkness. What the hell are you smiling about? , would it surely ask. It was fine, because I didnt want to look at those faces, which made me uncomfortable. I pointed my flashlight around. Above them, I noticed there was a crowd of stickmen, each holding hands with one another. Poorly drawn lines of music notes slithered and floated around them. A sign, which once probably had colorful flowers decorating it, prayed "My family and frends".
I was very happy. Maybe the happiest boy in the world. No, I couldn't have been happier, and I'm sure I wouldn't have been happier in my birthday.
I shaked in excitement, as Melissa led me to the principal's office. I looked at her face, expecting to meet her blue eyes emanating joy, but they never looked back. That said, I noticed raindrops and house-shaking winds hitting them.
After what felt like an eternity walking, we reached the office, where a man and a woman sat. She didn't look like the caring mother I thought she would look like, nor did he look like the cool dad I expected, but a family was a family, after all, and I'd never had one. I smiled, aware that I didn't look as convinced as I would have liked, and they smiled back. Their smiles, however, were not natural and relaxed, but powered by some sort of inner mechanic components, so unused that they had lost their effectiveness.
At home, they had made me a room for myself, well, a wardobe, better said. The house was small, and had a funny smell, like smoke mixed with something I couldn't identify. Several empty bottles laid on the floor, which made me excited as I thought they made parties frequently. They didn't seem like the clean parents that I had seen on TV, which tell their kids to tidy up all the time. This would be fun, after all. I thought.
"Creepy… I wonder who's drawn this…. let's just continue, shall we?"
I continued walking down the concrete stairs, happy to leave the unsettling image behind me. Meanwhile, and I couldn't explain why, the darkness seemed to increase, like some sort of fog growing around me. I started to not be able to see anything beyond my nose, despite the strength of my flashlight, which I had purposely bought to explore ruins at night. It is at night when the ruins and the abandoned buildings return to life, like cursed undead condemned to die as soon as the sun goes up. Owls, bats, snakes, rats, and other animals take cover and engage in their nightly routines, often surprised by my flashlight and by my intrusive presence. I explored these ruins when It was summer, of course, as there would be nothing now in winter. The flashlight was obviously still handy nonetheless.
"Geez guys, this is very long, we must be really deep under the surface. I wonder where this leads to."
I started to grow tired of this staircase. My biggest desire was to turn around, get in my cozy car and drive back home to watch some Netflix. I couldn't understand what was the staircase's purpose in a school. Maybe it was a cellar? But why would a cellar be this deep?
"My guess is that this is older than the school itself" I now said to myself, tired of the camera's insolent behavior towards me.
Was it maybe a bunker? Probably. Years ago, world war 3 had struck and a lot of bunkers had been built in public spaces to protect the people from the enemy attacks. During them, many buildings were destroyed, and abandoned, just like the one I was exploring right now. The door to the staircase was also really bunker-like, so that now made sense.
After walking for another long hour, I looked at my watch and decided to turn back and go home, maybe I would return another day, it could be a fun video. I decided next time I would take a friend or two so that I didn't have to talk to the darkness.
"Well, this doesn't look like it's going to end anytime soon, so we'll have to cut it here, but make sure to stay tuned as I will be exploring this staircase in a future video."
But just as I was about to turn around;
please, help
I heard that sobbing again.
"Hold up, I think there's someone down there"
please, down here
It sounded like a child, sobbing quietly. I panicked, as I was terrified by the thought of a child being alone down here in the cold darkness. Powered by that empathic fear, I runned down the stairs, towards the sobbing.
"Hold up! I'm coming!"
I woke up with a huge headache. The bed felt like a helicopter, except it was as if I laid on the part that spinned. I couldn't make out what was up, down or any direction for that matter, and the only thing that proved I wasn't in space was the bed's feeling on my back. I puked on the floor, hopelessly trying to "score" in the bucket laying besides me.
Someone groaned next to me. I looked at the girl waking up, probably feeling the same. What was her name? No clue, I met her at the Disco and then… well, everything happened so fast… I then realised that I had slept with someone I didn't even know, and had given my body to her. I'll admit that she wasn't the first one, though.
I don't know why I had done it. I felt shyness returning after the effects of the alcohol. What would I say to her? What would I do? I thought about escaping, running through the door so she wouldn't try to stay with me. I looked at the door, then realised how stupid the idea was. No, I can't just run away, this is my paid home, after all. I looked at my tiny, dark apartment, so similar to the one my adoptive parents' (and their many partners across the years) and I used to live in. It had no furniture, or life for that matter, except the terrarium. In there lived a lonely gecko, who spent its days on the glass staring at the room. I6 looked at the tiny artificial piece of nature in my room; it was now lit by a light, which unsuccessfully tried to replace sunlight with its lifeless splendor.
I then looked down at the girl laying beside me, a girl that would only stay for as long as the sun slept, then fade away like the morning mist. It was ok, tomorrow, another one would take her place, otherwise, the bed would be too big and cold for myself.
I kept running, racing against the sobs. Yes, racing, for no matter how much I runned, they never got nearer. How strange, I thought, they seemed to be moving downwards at the same pace as I. But… how? Was it maybe a joke?
please, it's so dark
No, It couldn't be a joke, it was maybe my imagination. Yeah, they were too far away, that's why.
I kept
please
running down the
I'm here
stairs, having long ago switched from running to jumping each floor. The staircase
help
that once was quiet was now full of my steps and my heavy breathing, as my
dark
heart seemed to have forgotten that my body could only take as much oxygen at the time.
As I runned, my flashlight illuminated something down the stairs, well, not exactly, as its beam only reached four steps down and the object was further than that.
When I got closer, I could distinguish that it was a face, looking at me.
"There's someone there! Are you alright?"
I was happy that I finally had found the source of the sobbing.
Help
I was very confused now, as the sobbing was further than the person in front of me. "Hello?"
She refused to answer. I tapped nerviously on the phone, which at its turn tapped at my ear. It looked like she'd hang up, but she hadn't, as I could hear her whispering to someone else. Finally, her voice went through the phone. She didn't spit words, but thousands of tiny knives that were all aiming at my heart. It bleeded, but she ignored my bloody tears, she continued stabbing me.
It wasn't like she cared about me, she never had In all these years. I was young, and thought she could've love me… But no, I didn't realise she just wanted the money I was making with my channel. Why did I fall for her? Why did I ever think she would love me?
I looked at the spoon I had been holding during the breakfast when she called me. Its reflection showed my face, although deformed and upside down because of whatever phenomenon makes reflections like that.
Upon looking at my face, I realised it, I realised my own ugliness. It made sense that she only wanted me for my money. Perhaps, no, surely, my viewers thought likewise; they didn't care about me, to them, I was just a character in a TV show that they watched late in the night, right before they went to sleep. A piece of entertainment.
She hung up, leaving me with my phone still on my ear, as tears rolled down my cheeks and a huge heartache biting me. I felt my life crumbling down like a card castle, then I went to the kitchen, grabbed myself some beers and started to drink.
I felt the fresh, bubbly liquid coming down my aching throat. I couldn't taste it, as my nose was blocked by my tears, determined to refuse to let me enjoy one of my senses. That was fine, I only wanted to stop thinking, I wanted my head out of the world, out of life, almost… dead.
--
"Who are you? Are you ok?"
But the person didn't move or answer. I began to feel uncomfortable. It just stared at me, and I could feel their eyes going through my soul. I noticed how uncanny and supernatural it was, and feared it, with genuine terror. I could feel my brain kicking me in the butt while yelling at me to leave.
The person appeared almost motionless, yet their stillness was somehow more unsettling than any aggressive action could have been. Its pale, featureless face seemed to stare directly into my soul, and I had the unnerving sensation that it was observing me with an intelligence beyond my comprehension.
I shivered, no, I shaked more violently than an epilectic attack, as a thousand questions came through my mind without asking for permission to enter. What was that? Was it real? Was it just an illusion, caused by absence of stimuli? Was it just another drawing on the wall? No, It couldn't be fake, I could feel its presence, and an unnerving aura emanated from it.
Then, out of nowhere face started to approach me, better said, it glided towards me without doing a sound, without shaking because of some legs, no, it truly glided across the floor. I froze in terror, nailed to the ground like in a nightmare, feeling that anxious feeling of jmpotence, the desire of running the hell out of there but not being able, just forced to watch as the thing approached me. Its featureless face was only getting closer and closer until it was some inches far from mine.
hello?
Anybody there?
I woke up, feeling nothing. I know it's really straightforward, but I felt nothing, no joy, no pain, nothing. No, I'm lying, I did feel something; a thousand freezing cold water droplets falling on my naked skin. It was strange, as it wasn't raining, actually, there was nothing; no ground, no sky, no darkness no light, nothing other than me floating in some sort of void.
I looked around me, but everything was black. I know I wasn't blind, as I could see my own arms, legs, and, well, all the body parts you can see with your own eyes without a mirror. They seemed to be illuminated by an unknown source of light, like in the 2020s series Stranger things void, if you have even seen that old series. How did I arrive here?
It was dark, but way darker than the darkness itself, it was a darkness that absorbed everything there was, a darkness that I could have been able to differ from the normal darkness.
Hello?
I turned around frantically, looking for the sobbing source. I hadn't thought of it yet, but I had no clue about If I was spinning or still, as I couldn't feel any gravity pulling me down; up was the same as down for me at this point. I realised this, and started to feel incredibly bad, making so my head spinned at a thousand miles an hour. As strange as it sounds, this aliviated me a bit.
I looked desperately for the sobbing person, maybe they knew what this place was… Was I dead? Maybe, but I knew I wasn't dead as I still had my clothes and everything on, and you don't take your stuff with you to the afterlife. Right?
I kept looking around, well, at least looking, and found the source of the sobbing right what I thought was behind me.
It came from a boy, that was floating in fetal position with his back against me. He was crying and sobbing and covering his eyes with his hands.
"hey, what's happening?"
what?
I froze, as I looked at the sobbing boy before me. He was wearing my favourite "Kran klan" shirt, my second hand air jordans and my blue, broken trousers, whose legs had been cut significantly because they were too big and my stepmother did not want to buy me new ones. I let out a scream, as I saw the seizure my stepdad Richard had done me with his belt.
I then realised how alone I was, I realised how alone I had been all my life, I never had parents, friends, family, someone that would love me, nothing. I realised that I had always been in this void, I had never come, and the unbeloved child inside me had always cried, even If I had denied it. I had tried to forget it, convince myself everything was going to be better, ignore his sobbing, but no.
I sobbed, and sobbed, then cried, floating in the cold, dark void. Had I been meant to be alone? Probably, otherwise I wouldn't have ended up here. Perhaps that's why I liked to explore ruins, they were lonely and had great pasts once, something I never had and never will, it's too late.
You're not alone, I know it looks like it, but you aren't. I always loved you.
Thank you… don't leave, please, don't stop talking…