rating: +21+x

Hey Mom,

This might seem like a suicide note but it really isn’t, I promise you I’m still alive even though it doesn’t seem like it. Remember the story you told me about myself? When I was a child, you’d place toys all around me and a little pillow in the centre of that toy-circle, and I’d spend entire days playing with them, and falling asleep in it. You made me a little world and I must have really liked it, because I never truly escaped. Thank you for staying at home and cooking for me. Whenever I feel unmotivated to continue studying you’ll always come and chat me up and tell me how much you love me. Thanks for that too. I know you expected great things from me: you wanted me to become a lawyer and get rich, find a good wife and let you carry my baby. You probably expected me by your death bed, holding your hand and sending you off. But I’m sorry. I know it’s not your fault, you just wanted the best for me, but I really can’t handle it anymore. I always fear the disappointment you’ll feel when you see me getting an F on my subjects and I know it’s just not possible for me to live the grand lifestyle you have envisioned for me. Lately, I’ve been writing some stuff for a site and I’ve started to really feel alive again, just like when I was in that little toy-world as a child. I also finally found friends there! They all love the site as much as me and it's so fun to talk to them, they don't feel fake and pretentious like the sons of your gossip-friends. I haven’t felt this real for so long, there's just this deep emptiness inside me all the time when I do anything apart from writing, doing anything that you expect me to do. This life of being loved and having a good future doesn’t suit me. I finally found a way to live with my own passion and creations! This is a last goodbye note because I have a feeling that I won't see you ever again. Thanks for all that you have done for me and I’m sorry I was a disappointment and never achieved anything until the end.


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