DISCLAIMER: This is NOT the Site News for the English Branch of the SCP Wiki. The opinions of the individual members of the Pal News team that is presented in this edition of the Site News are not to be taken that seriously. If you take issue with any of the contents, then feel free to reach out to me and I will review the contents to see if there are any edits that need to be made. Thank you for your understanding!
DISCLAIMER: Pal News is no longer being maintained as part of my leave from the community. If any of the links stop working its because I've chosen to delete my works
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Table of Contents
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Stories and Editorials
We here at Pal News wanted to interview me, ProblemPal, so please welcome our second member of Pal News
ParallelPotatoes as they answer your burning pal questions
1. Why did you decide to write for the wiki?
Like with most people on the wiki, I've been aware of the SCP wiki for most of my life but I only started engaging with the site a few years ago by going through random articles and tales to pass the time in school. I did have some interest in writing, even whipped up a though shitty drafts, but I was mainly there for the reading.
One early issue I faced with writing was getting critique on the forums so when I heard there was a Discord with a writing section I decided to join and become an active member in Deer. I still dint really write for a while but I was building connections and improving my critique skills, which in turn helped my writing.
What actually got my cogs turning was why-scp-173-shits by Queerious and 2024s Wrathcon. I've been interested in modern art and its fascistic critiques for quite some time so I decided to write an 'evil' response work bashing the Foundations relationship to contained anart.
Then I didn't write for almost exactly a year :p
2. What is your favourite thing you’ve posted? What do you like about it?
SCP-8974, my first surviving work, is still definitely my favourite work. When classicon was announced, I didn't originally plan to write for it but after Cimm brainstormed a bit about his idea in scp-general I decided to bite the bullet and I left really proud of the final result. It was a pretty big departure from anything I'd written before because I aimed to tell the story through documentation and make the most of the format, which is something I hadn't done before.
I've also gotten some amazing fanart for it from 2025s art exchange which was a very nice cherry on top.
3. Do you swear vengeance upon those who didn’t like your favorite work? What horrible punishments do you have in mind for them?
A fate worse than death
4. Which SCP do you think you could beat in a fight?
- SCP-999 easy peasy
- SCP-6771. He cant see milk so I have the calcium advantage
AWhiteBoy I don't care that he's not an scp I could totally take that punks ass bitch in a fight
- SCP-001. All of them. At once
- SCP-9002 is Below Average Human level according to powerscalers so I think I might just about win against it
5. As a Problem Pal, Im sure that you have caused thousands of problems. Which problem is your favorite?
Ooooo I have a lot to chose from. Gonna have to say funky monkey as an honourable mention because we were asked to not post him before he could cause any problems. My actual fave would probably be when I sent an army of gnomes to steal crops from Diogene_s and salt their fields, that one was a real knee slapper.
6.Is it true that before being called Problem Pal, you were called Peepeepoopoo Pants? Why did you change?
No before I was called ProblemPal I actually went by PotatoSalad44. I have no affiliation with the notorious Peepeepoopoo Pants, stop asking.
8. Do you have any additional messages for those reading your author page?
In the event of my untimely demises, I leave this page and all of my works on the wiki to whoever has the highest number of pal points (see below) to do with and divvy up as they see fit.
I am leaving the community and the site as a whole. This page will no longer be updated. The above message still stands.
Also yes I am trans, I am British, and I'm not 29.
- By ParallelPotatoes
Achievements
Hey this isn't in the usual news, what's this? Well guess what this page is about me and I can do whatever I want so I'm keeping track of Pal Points (redeemable at your local Pal Store), a measure of how awesome sauce myself and other members of the community are. If you would like to apply for Pal Points, contact me over DM or on Discord.
Personal Accolades
| Achievement | Description | Value (Pal Points) |
| Valued Critter | Be selected for Reviewers Spotlights | 10 |
| Expert Critter | Be selected for either the Butterfly Roster or Moth Squad | 10 |
| Junior Staff | Become a part of the SCP wikis staff | 15 |
| Operational Staff | Be promoted form junior staff to OS | 30 |
| Unleash Your Wrath | Have a headstone on the Wrathcon hub | 50 |
| Mythic Golden Age | Place in the top 50% of Classicon | 50 |
| A Real Author | Qualify for an author page | 10 |
| Won a bet | Won a bet | 10 |
| Class Clown x22 | Feature on 19cords star board | -5 per instance |
Total Pal Points: 75
Community Accolades
| Community Member | Source of Points | Value (Pal Points) |
| Asked Nicely, Pal News employee | 6 | |
| Egg pun identification | 5 | |
| Theme/CSS help | 5 | |
| Pal News employee | 5 | |
| Lost a bet | -10 | |
| Evil | -100 |
Total Pal Points: -94
Writing and Art Prompts
Pal News is bringing you three writing and art prompts! Participation in these prompts is completely optional, and any pages based on the prompts will be featured in this issue of Pal News! If you're interested in submitting a prompt for next Pal News, there won't be another one. Sad.
This author page's prompts are below!
Artex 2024 Submitted by ProblemPal
Write or draw something based on my art exchange 2024 requests.
Artex 2025 Submitted by ProblemPal
Create something based on my art exchange 2025 requests.
onlineopossum-s-2025-art-exchange has a bonus gift inspired by the 2025 art exchange
If you write an entry inspired by this editions prompts, feel free to send a wikidot PM to me to have it featured in Pal News!
Features
Top Articles of Ever
Ratings of course do not mean everything, but they are representative of what people happened to like seeing at the time. With this in mind, the following are my top-rated works, so if by some chance you haven't encountered them yet, be sure to check them out!
Top-Rated SCP
SCP-8974 by ProblemPal : William is all over the place
A genetic match has been found between SCP-8974 and William Marigold.
Top-Rated Tale
Black White and Red by ProblemPal
We roam dying woods;
snow-draped Doe
smells of innocence, of syrup,
soot-clad Beast,
palms yearning for her hooves.
Reviewers' Spotlights
Works are featured on the ProblemPal author page as part of the ProblemPal Spotlight, which acknowledges the time and effort spent by me helping other authors develop and edit and their works for the mainsite.
If you would like to view actual spotlights, you can view the archive for them here!
1st Spotlight
SCP-8080: Eleanor Ellory Goes To Therapy by Uncannyon. [Featured by ProblemPal]
Some information may be obscured.
2nd Spotlight
All Alone on a Friday by GlassAutomaton. [Featured by ProblemPal]
An anthology about a single day at Site-17 and the humanoid anomalies that live there.
3rd Spotlight
SCP-8307: The Arthurian Cycle by sailorenoch,
rottingraisins, and
Rosyfox2002. [Featured by AsterQuills]
Here lies Arthur, King once and future King
Pal News Creature Feature
Unfortunately I do not have any pets in my life. Fortunately I live with a photographer and have this sick ass monkey from, if memory serves correctly, a zoo in Scotland.
I don't know anything about this monkey, I don't even know what species it is. I'm gonna name him (don't even know their pronouns now that I think about) Gilgamesh after famed leader and notorious bro of Sid Meier's Civilisation 6. Fun fact: he will always accept friendship on the turn you meet him, what a chill guy.
Pal Data & Trends
Thanks to the hard work of user BAD_DATA, site news has a data analysis section again (at time of writing)! So I decided to nab them and cook up some data for Pal news. Why don't we take a look at what they made for us…
…well I guess I'm not hiring them again
New Content Ever
There is a multitude of wonderful works that are posted to the Wiki every month whether they be SCP articles, Tales, GoI Formats, Art pages, Author Pages, Essays, and more! Mostly not made by me because I have the output of a snail. Below, we have all of my creations listed out by type. I have added little emojis next to articles that qualify to add some additional content. Below I have listed out the emojis that Site News use and what they mean. Be sure to give them a look!
🤝 = Co-authored works - It is always interesting to see the dynamics of how people work together!
🌐 = International works - Articles translated from one of our international branches!
💯 = Articles rated at +100 and higher - These are articles that have seen success and should be celebrated for it!
📈 = SCP articles rated under +30 and Tales and GoI Formats rated under +20 - Let's show these a little love!
SCP Articles
Tales
- $&^%%((&^ - Written by [ERROR]
- Black White and Red - Written by ProblemPal.
GoI Formats
- N/A
Art/YouTube content
- Understanding the Dragons in SCP-8007 - Created by ProblemPal
Thank you so much for reading ProblemPal's Pal News!