I stood on top of a tall building, sitting at the edge and hanging my legs down.
The lights of the city shine brightly into the night sky, brightening up the atmosphere, making stars practically invisible—but it is overshadowed by the bright, white shine of the majestic moon above.
The air was cold, very cold. It was late at night; the silence was the only thing that slowly helped me heal my mind from the ever-bleeding wound.
I held my head down, staring at the abyss that is below me; I couldn't bring myself to look at such a view. I didn't deserve it.
The wind slowly hit my body, making my suit gently swim within the waves.
Then, a voice came from behind me. “All alone by yourself?”
The voice was old and gentle with a bit of echo in it.
I didn't turn my head to look; I could be seen by something again, but I didn't care. It hurt to feel it.
The footsteps approached, getting louder and louder until the person sat next to me, hanging his legs into the void just like me.
I slowly turned my head to the right, still tilted down. “Why?” I could utter, but the voice was weak and defeated.
“I'm sorry for your loss.” The old man said. “Life is a big mixture of good and bad; we all wish bad would just evaporate, and we all live in peace, but what's good without bad?”
“Good is… a feeling, a sensation that motivates you to keep going, assured by the smiles your actions cause. I lost that smile.” I said, fixing my sight back to the void as I relive my moments down to the smallest detail with her.
“Although you predate me, you've got a lot to learn about being human.” The old man said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “We experience loss, failure, and hopelessness just so we can appreciate gain, victory, and hopefulness. She managed to make you feel like somebody because you've been a nobody your whole life. If you weren't a Nobody, she wouldn't be able to make you feel like a Somebody.”
I stayed silent; all the words died in my throat before I could even open my mouth.
“Why?” I asked again, with all of my power. “Why couldn't I revive her? Am I not God?”
“We're all just lesser gods, Apsel. When one dies, the soul unites with the One True God. To revive someone means to take a piece from the unreachable. None of us can do that.”
My vision blurred as I processed the words, the black hole inside my chest increasing in size, eating me out from the inside. I won't ever be able to bring her back.
“… Is she in heaven?”
“She's with God, living a life much more peaceful than what this world offered.”
…
Then, a small white dot slowly moved downwards in my vision. I lifted my head up and extended my nonexistent hand forward; more of the white dots slowly dropped into it and immediately dissolved into little pieces of water.
“It's snowing.” The old man commented with a smile on his face. Looking at the view of the city.
I shifted my attention to the view in front of me, and my eyes widened. The city's lights, the moon's stronger-than-ever white light, acting as a giant lamp highlighting the city—the snowflakes gradually increasing in quantity and a bit of fog appearing—
It was so… beautiful…
“God takes, and God gives. She's now living in a place much more beautiful than this.” The old man said, putting his hand on my left shoulder as if we've been friends for a long time.
“Thank you, God.” I said, as the black hole inside my chest disappeared, I sighed loudly, which felt like letting go of a huge, bottled-up steam.
Then, a small black hole, with the horizon and accretion disk colored in purple, manifested inside my palm. I slowly turned it into a featureless purple ball, and then shape-shifted it to that of a pocket watch, and the purple faded away.
It dropped inside my palm, a golden pocket watch.
“If I, God, can't defeat death, then I will make sure humans can.”
A watch that allowed you to fake your death. I tightened my grip on it and held it on my chest, smiling at myself as I watched the city with the old man.
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