News for December 2017

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Welcome to this installment of site news, where we look forward to another year of SCPs!

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month1, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

Featured Articles

  • The featured articles for December were SCP-2858 ("As Though The Wasps Themselves Had Worked It There") by Taffeta, Six Letters Addressed to the SCP Foundation (and One Letter Home) by ahbonjour, and The Broken Mind by fortunefavorsbold. The first is about soap made with only the finest wasps, the second is about mail correspondence in a world where the Foundation went public, and the third is about the reconstruction of the Broken God's brain. Check them out!

Editor's Choice Articles

  • SCP-3084 ("Seven Strangers at a Feast") - A film takes on a life of its own. Written by Kalinin. Seven Strangers is a fantastically eerie piece, operating on a surreal internal logic and meshing together a collection of classic horror elements in a uniquely Foundation style. Seven Strangers gave me goosebumps and is not to be missed.
  • SCP-049-J ("The Plague Fellow") - Gotta get that sweet medieval bitcoin. Written by djkaktus. This is the only good article about 049. It's a terrific riff on the (in)famous doctor and is wickedly funny in its own right. This author gives it two severed thumbs up!
  • ...Like Clockwork - This is the end of all. Written by Decibelles. If its progenitor 3999 was an SCP devoted to the author's psyche, Like Clockwork is a tale series devoted to its own author's psyche. It breaks the meta and mold of the wiki in fascinating ways and is a uniquely character-focused take on the end of the world.
  • An Old Woman and her Garden - A fairy tale about a sweet old lady and her garden of undead horrors. Written by fieldstone. An Old Woman's unique protagonist and Tim Burton-esque gothic fantasy mesh together to form one of the best creepypastas I've read in recent memory.

Event Featured Articles

The theme for the month of December was knowledge!

  • In SCP-2160 ("The Happy Place"), by MountainTimePunch, puppets needed a better actors' guild…
  • In SCP-1531 ("Perfect Lie Detector"), by thefran, a lie detector worked, but not by sussing out the truth…
  • And in SCP-028 ("Knowledge"), by Dr Gears, man learned things he was not meant to know…

Rest of the News

Missing out on articles? Enjoy a recap on the articles from the past month. Huge thanks to fieldstone and Sly161 for writing the blurbs for this month!

Week of December 1st:

Giant monsters, spiritual torture, human sacrifice, and a toast messiah. This was a good week.


  • SCP-3152 ("The Last Love Letter") - The leading theory is that SCP-3152 infects letters around it with the thoughts that Abigail ██████ was thinking at the time of writing. Written by Doctor Serkov
  • SCP-3305 ("The Father, The Son, and The Holy Toast") - Book of John, chapter 6, verse 51: "I am the living bread that came down out of heaven; if anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread also which I will give for the life of the world is My flesh." Baked by Captain Kirby.
  • SCP-3655 ("The Last Resort") - SCP-3655 is an exact replica of Las Vegas’ “The Mint” Hotel and Casino located on the lunar surface, approximately seven kilometres from Oceanus Procellarum. Written by JRollerBall.
  • SCP-3915 ("Gay Trashman") - Alongside NOAA and the Marine Conservation Alliance, a false cleanup effort has been organized, in order to disguise SCP-3915's refuse-gathering. Once per month, Foundation helicopters are to transport the collected refuse to designated processing facilities in Anchorage. Written by Noktigo.



Essays By A Hack: Writing Tales - This guide will save your life. Okay, probably not, but it will definitely improve your writing enough to get you more upvotes. Presented by The Great Hippo

Author's Pages

Week of December 8th:

Madness, war, and candy - every day is Christmas at the Foundation.


  • SCP-3939 ("Pour Some Sugar On Me") - SCP-3939 designates a phenomenon by which 10% of Kinder Surprise egg confectioneries produced post-2016 spontaneously gain anomalous properties. Written by BitterMixin
  • SCP-3366 ("Man in Hole") - SCP-3366 is a phenomenon that occurred between 2008 to 2010 in which 37 individuals disappeared in Baghdad, Iraq under identical circumstances. Written by minmin.
  • SCP-3985 ("Focus of a Regulatory Dispute") - Our use of force is guided by ethics. Our ethics are backed by use of force. Written by Pedantique.
  • SCP-3203 ("The Swiss Bank Account") - Where the hell does all the money come from? Like, we get quite a bit of funding for an organization that makes no profit and isn’t a government entity, right? Written by Captain Kirby.
  • SCP-3520 ("Fourteen Orangutans") - All signs of monitoring are to be dismissed due to influence. 30% of all D-Class liquidated under Atkins Protocol due to suspicion. O5 Council grants temporary access to Mondelez products in cafeterias, organization wide. Written by LordStonefish
  • SCP-3812 ("A Voice Behind Me") - SCP-3812 has an active, aggressive, anomalous influence on reality. SCP-3812 is capable of altering events throughout time to prevent its containment. Written by djkaktus
  • SCP-3762 ("Shelter from the Storm") - SCP-3762 is a bio-lithic organism of indeterminate age. SCP-3762 takes the form of a structure composed primarily of stone; however, interior components of wood, metal, and other materials have been discovered. - Written by MathBrush
  • SCP-3205 ("Adventure Tourist") - Iterations of SCP-3205 have a tendency to be formed into objects which travel large distances and are present throughout major historical events. Written by ModernMajorGeneral


  • I stared into the face of everything and nothing and made it back alive - Just because you're back doesn't mean you made it home. Written by SunnyClockwork.
  • The Vampyre of Time and Memory - It was at the moment where Sunset stumbled out of bed, trawling the refrigerator for lunch leftovers, that she came to a decision; these excerpts from the diary of hers would be the part you are reading right now. Part of ...Like Clockwork, Written by Decibelles.
  • We just make toys - What child could resist the jiggly allure of Jelly Whale Emperor? It had over one hundred features. The most important, of course, being that it was entirely edible, but its ability to rule a sovereign nation of sugary treats was a close second. Written by DarkStuff.
  • Extranormal Event-28-A ("Ifrit") Archives - The following documentation is a collection of radio transmissions, recovered journal entries, and other relevant information pertaining to Extranormal Event (EE)-28-A, which took place during the United States' War in Iraq. Written by RecursiveRecursion
  • To Think I've Spent My Whole Life Waiting - I leaned down and put my arms around the children. Another couple bangs. Those were doors. Those were doors getting knocked down. Written by DarkStuff
  • I'll Try Living Like This - "The Foundation learns from what it contains, but its weak-willed employees… those clinging onto the abnormal and the fantastical as their identity… that was your way out of reality, wasn't it?" Written by Decibelles.
  • I Don't Get It, I Functioned Before - I rescued two kids from certain death that day. If it weren't for the bullet in my ankle, I'd have been riding high on self esteem. Part of Vend-a-friend, Written by DarkStuff.
  • Two Ships, Passing in the Night - The house, just as homes and people sometimes become, was broken. So, there was surprise when three figures took a chance and moved in. Written by Zachary Maxwell.
  • Extranormal Event Report 17-6186 - The fact that the manifested item was of a human artifact of use in metallurgy and often used in popular culture indicates that the originator of the anomaly is likely SAPIENT (HIGH CONFIDENCE) and HUMANOID (MEDIUM TO HIGH CONFIDENCE). Written by Megalomaniacinchworm.

Author's Pages

Week of December 15th:

I need this like I need a ho ho hole in the head…


  • SCP-3925 ("Papers, please") - Paperwork can really pile up if you aren't on top of it. Glory to bureaucracy! Written by ModernMajorGeneral.
  • SCP-3322 ("Sister Cities") - Ever wonder if you had a doppelganger? How about a doppelganger of your entire town? Written by ModernMajorGeneral.
  • SCP-3234 ("Pure Grey Static") - SCP-3234 is an anomalous instance of a dissociative disorder that affects individuals with a highly negative sense of self, who desire to cease interactions with society. Written by Doctor Serkov.
  • SCP-3593 ("The Betrayal of the ORIA") - SCP-3593-1 is an emaciated figure who has been crucified onto a diagonal wooden cross. This cross is placed directly behind the entryway to the cave, close enough to allow communication from the outside. Written by Tufto.
  • SCP-3343 ("Beelzebub") - Some of the the most important things can come in small packages. Written by daveyoufool.
  • SCP-3335 ("The Hole in My Head Where My Mind Used to Be") - Remember those drug presentations from school? More people should have listened to them. Don't do SCP, not even once! Written by TheBillith.
  • SCP-3355 ("St. Nick") - In order to prevent awareness of the anomalous nature of SCP-3355, the Foundation is to maintain a non-profit front company called “St. Nick’s Workshop”, along with a website and television/radio ads promoting charitable giving during the holidays. Written by djkaktus.


  • The Price of Beauty - A creative approach is taken to help lose weight. A creepypasta written by Zachary Maxwell.
  • You Can't Win Them All - "Okay, let's start from the top. Tell us everything that happened, in order. Starting from the dispatch.". The fourth chapter in the Vend-a-Friend series. Written by DarkStuff.
  • One Kit and an (Anomalous) Baby Pt. 1 - He was about to turn back and close the door when his eyes fixed on the floor. A cardboard box, and inside – a baby. A new series by Zachary Maxwell.
  • ...Like Clockwork - This is a story with no endings. There is no closure, nor resolution. It is only a story of evolution and expectations. The last part of the Like Clockwork series. Written by Decibelles
  • Okay - A more serious and realistic look into mental health. Written by The Great Hippo.
  • The Last Man - It’s day 50 of freeze-dried beef stroganoff. Doctor Beckett swallows the meat and rice with a grimace. Written by ModernMajorGeneral.
  • Be Strange or Be Forgotten - The great dark woods outside of my window suddenly felt less like a wall between me and the rest of the world and more like a great suppressor of my senses. The fifth chapter in the Vend-a-Friend series. Written by DarkStuff.
  • Life's a Show - Thought the series was over after that last one? Apparently not! Chapter Six of Vend-a-Friend, written by DarkStuff.
  • One Kit and an (Anomalous) Baby Pt. 2 - Was it the fire alarm? Had he left the TV on? Blinking sleep from his eyes, he scanned the room, and was reminded (instantly, and loudly) of the baby he had taken in. Written by Zachary Maxwell.
  • Catharsis - Detective Jason Fritz took a final puff from his cigarette before tossing it into the river before him, watching as it vanished beneath the crashing tides. The start of a new series by toastedraptor.
  • Shards & Static - A short tale supplement to SCP-3234. Written by Doctor Serkov
  • One Kit and an (Anomalous) Baby - The Penultimate Chapter - "Naptime!" He couldn't hide the happiness in his own voice. If she was asleep, he could sleep, too. Written by Zachary Maxwell.
  • Decomm - On paper, it was the easiest job in the Foundation. You tell the poor sap the news he probably already knows, get him to sign a few pieces of paper, and you were on your merry way back to the bar. Written by buckyboy.
  • Dark and Disquieting - Standing before them was a humanoid crow or raven, all jet black and covered in feathers. He was clad in a hooded cloak of crimson and gold and held a great bronze staff in his scaly, clawed talons. Another entry in the Dread & Circuses series. Written by DrChandra.
  • One Kit and an (Anomalous) Baby - The Finale - His nose instantly started bleeding, and he stared at the space in front of the baby. Whatever had been helping them both up until them had just turned on him. Written by Zachary Maxwell.
  • A Sailor in a Blinding Sea - Over the Atlantic Ocean, a few hundred kilometers off the coast of North Carolina, a thunderstorm is crackling and brewing against a deep purple sky. A tale about SCP-3005, written by Cyantreuse
  • A Riot Of Color And Joy - Giacomo worked with a team of a few dozen men, setting bricks and stones of vivid colors. The only light came from a wide circle of lanterns that surrounded them. Outside of the lanterns, the dark was so thick it swallowed everything. part of an unnamed series by Gaffney

Author's Pages

Week of December 22nd:

Come and dance with me…


  • SCP-3214 ("Star Quality") - You'd better hope you don't see these ads next time you go surfing the web. Written by mayoculpa.
  • SCP-3617 ("The Parasites of Normal") - SCP-3617 are small, semi-insectoid creatures composed from various types of human body tissue. Written by MaliceAforethought.
  • SCP-3882 ("A Literal Metal Band") - Maybe all those people who said "metal music has secret messages" were onto something… Written by Ihp.
  • SCP-3137 ("Nitepad™") - Welcome, user. Welcome to Nitepad™. Relax, and enjoy the show. Written by Tufto.
  • SCP-3310 ("The Old Man of the Lake") - Nothing more than a finger in a god-sized hole. (Re)Written by stormbreath.
  • SCP-3226 ("HEADBONES™!!") - Listen to your body, it usually knows what's best for you. Usually. Written by Lesh.


  • Duets - "Of course this is dangerous," said Charla. "All MTFs face dangers, and we have been training for them. Besides, no-one was hurt either time Dr. Narváez went to Alagadda." Part of On Mount Golgotha and written by psul.
  • Also This All Happened On The Same Day, So I Don't Know Why He Said It Like That. - An audio tale, this is a Christmas song parody by Doctor Cimmerian.
  • The Three Bullets of Destiny - All that lies between a man and a promotion are three bullets. However, there is a lot more at stake than a pay raise. Written by Superblobby.
  • I'll Be Home For Christmas... - My name's Dr. Isaiah Henderson, and I died earlier this year. Written by daveyoufool.
  • Unicorn Crackfic Procedures - You don't need a blurb for this. Look at the title. SCP unicorn AU, enough said. Written by DrMagnus.
  • Habil and Qabil - "Habil and Qabil" is a sitcom explicitly set at Site 17 and stars numerous characters based on actual SCPs within the Foundation's possession, primarily scips whose SCP designations are lower than 1000. Written by DrChandra.
  • The Builder - Beneath it, a figure in dark robes knelt, seemingly praying. They were motionless, perhaps too engrossed in their silent chant. A Broken God tale co-written by SunnyClockwork and Perelka_L.
  • Lepidoptraetheia - "Excuse me." Ruslav held up a hand, stopping a nearby labcoated doctor. "Is there a researcher Kir…" his voiced rumbled out again. "Is there a research lab with a butterfly expert here?" Written by DrMagnus.
  • Grandchildren Frost - The peaks of the Urals stretched very high above them, but only one–a lone straggler stumbling somewhat near the back–looked up and them. Whether he saw anything, it was hard to tell, what with his lack of eyes. Written by LordStonefish.
  • Waiting on the Good Times - I was a socially awkward 4th Grader hitting adolescence early, and he was a green eyed kid who had all the signs of growing up to be a sociopath. We made a wonderful pair. Written by DarkStuff.
  • The Picture of an Unian - The Picture of an Unian is a visual depiction of one unknown specimen of the Unians, a species which were native to the currently-uninhabited planet of Un. Written by MrWrong.
  • The Dedekind Infinite Demographic - The Librarian was a robed semi-human thing with an ink-stained hand for a head. Written by Taffeta.
  • If You Have a Minute Why Don't We Go Talk About it Somewhere Only We Know - Dr. Jeffrey Jacobs put the phone down. He kicked the door open before moving into the hall with his pistol leveled. Written by Doctor Cimmerian.
  • Sometimes I Dream... - Sometimes I dream. I slumber through the incessant grinding and scraping of machines to reach the beautiful world known as What Could Have Been. Written by tretter.
  • Countdown - Russian agents encounter a mysterious countdown. What could it be? Based off of SCP-3034 and written by ModernMajorGeneral.
  • Ana Hums - The woman poured over several notes over a mug of coffee, pausing to look up at Dr. Khayyam, then immediately looked down. Written by Jacob Conwell.
  • The Ways in Which We Are Starved (or, The Special Kind of Solidarity between a Butch Wendigo and a Magic Twink) - The wendigo may not fear any man, but this one fears a woman. Written by kinchtheknifeblade.

GOI Formats

Author's Pages

Fandom Stuff


Big thanks to Zhange for finding fanart this month!

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