News for September 2018

The dynamic nature of this wiki means that linked pages might get moved, renamed, deleted, or replaced. Old news pages remain as time capsules and are not updated to account for these changes.

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month1, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

Fandom Stuff

  • Halloween Contest 2018 - The Bone Zone awakens! The 2018 Halloween contest kicks off October 5th, with 4 rules in place, all of them put in place for maximum spookiness. Readers beware, you're in for a scare.
  • Staff Promotions! This cycle, there were a total of 6 new Operational Staff and 3 new Moderators!
    • Junior Staff Promoted to Operational Staff: Captain Kirby, Fingo7, LadyKatie, Shaggydredlocks, taylor_itkin, and Varaxous!
    • Operational Staff promoted to Moderator: modern_erasmus, pxdnbluesoul, and MayD!
  • On October 20th at 1 PM, Wasabicon will be having an SCP panel! roget and procyonlotor are going to be there helping out with the panel, while several other SCPeople are planning to make an appearance (including djkaktus and doctor cimmerian). Hope we can see ya there!

Featured Articles

Event Featured Articles

The theme for the month of September was portal!

  • In SCP-3941 ("The Major Occultation"), by tufto, the Foundation engages in religous debate with the 12th Imam.
  • In SCP-1780 ("The Temporal Anomalies Department"), by FortuneFavorsBold, a Foundation department is found, having been lost to all but time.
  • In SCP-1130 ("A Handy Shortcut"), by Crayne, your destination is on your left, through the derelict entrance into an alternate reality.

Editor's Choice

  • SCP-4344 ("Kick Asteroid") by Weryllium

A woefully underrated article. It's short, it's got dinosaurs, and they're in space! What more could you ask for?

Original Character Contest Recap

You will notice little '📈' emojis besides some articles. That denotes SCP articles which were under 30 and tales which were under 20 when this edition of site news was posted. Give them a little love! Speaking from personal experience, the most frustrating thing that can happen to an article is not deletion, but stagnating below 20 without any comments. So try to read, vote, and comment on these articles! They're often hidden gems :)

Week of September 1st:


  • 📈SCP-3712 ("Grandma Knows Best") - An old wooden doll depicting an equally old woman with some ominous messages. Written by JoseDzirehChong
  • 📈SCP-3953 ("Costa Rica… IN SPACE") - A tropical vacation that's just out of this world. Written by Dramps
  • SCP-4016 ("Of Mice and Twine") - The last bastion against the terrible rodents which infest a barn. Written by Alces_alces and Zyn
  • SCP-4816 ("me irl :)") - Not to be confused with r/meirl Written by MrBazzle
  • 📈SCP-3461 ("When The Saints Go Marching In") - Thirty six crosslinks, one afterlife. Written by mlister
  • SCP-3879 ("Musical Jolly Ape™ by Dr. Wondertainment") - The story of a poor gorilla, two Wondertainments, Wilson's Wildlife, and how Foundation bureaucracy ruined a good thing. Written by Uncle Nicolini
  • 📈SCP-4053 ("The Gift of Life") - A polaroid you can't do without. Written by TheSpookanist
  • SCP-4599 ("Of All Things, Pillows Have the Loneliest of Days and the Most Frightful of Nights") - When will Foundation-senpai notice me? Written by OthellotheCat
  • SCP-4404 ("The Scent of Silence") - Ooooh that smell, can't you smell that smell? Written by Communism will win
  • SCP-4656 ("Significant Figures") - "We shall tear the mask off nature and stare at the face of RNGesus." Written by LuluTheRadiant
  • SCP-4514 ("The Thing That Kills You") - Exactly what it says on the tin. Written by Captain Kirby
  • WMDD's Proposal ("Project Palisade") - Who's to judge what is real and what is not? Written by Drewbear, Dexanote, thedeadlymoose, and weizhong
  • SCP-4993 ("A Child's Mind Is A Wonderful Thing") - Aren't clowns just the absolute worst? Written by Tanhony
  • SCP-4201 ("Pizza of Mass Destruction") - Competing pizzerias escalate their rivalry to nuclear levels. Written by Crocket_Lawnchair
  • SCP-4093 ("Share the Road") - Be kind to your fellow motorists and cyclists. Written by Zyn
  • 📈SCP-4995 ("Übermensch") - I rate this infection 4/6. Electrolytes are stable enough I suppose. Host is ModernMajorGeneral, so I guess that's okay too.
  • SCP-4202 ("The Sleepy Clapper") - Let's give this sleeping aide a big round of applause. Written by DrChandra
  • SCP-4332 ("Meat It For All It's Worth") - R E V E R S E C O W ! ! ! ! Written by XilasCrowe
  • SCP-4969 ("Literally Jellyfish Condoms") - 100% organically made condoms. Written by Swaghetti
  • 📈SCP-4328 ("Sinew and Cellulose") - "We share, like Cernunnos shared his flesh to make us." Written by Casponaut
  • SCP-4142 ("Stellaraptor") - Every dino is a star. Written by Weryllium
  • SCP-3493 ("The Great SCP Foundation Collaboration") - Database Connection Error: "ERROR 1146 (42S02): Table 'mcpdb.universe_list' doesn't exist. Written by CyrusFiredawn
  • 📈SCP-3539 ("So That Others May Live") - “It saved our lives. Maybe it can save yours. Semper Fi.” Written by cptnubz


  • MZL-1730 - "We're one big family here at the MZL - and that means everybody gets involved. Everybody." Written by djkaktus.
  • Overheard At Deer - "i was playing a set at #Deer & all my ⁂SorcerEnergy turned into peach lacroix wtf???" Written by ch00bakka and A Random Day
  • 📈Yuli and Ivan Go On an Adventure. Part I - "Isn't it obvious?" Ivan chuckled. "We're going to rebuild the GRU-P." Written by LongWalkHome
  • 📈Deceptive Cadence - "Enemies of Herman Fuller The Circus Of The Disquieting" Written by DarkStuff
  • 📈And When He Heard The Clock He Cried - "Maybe he knows how to access more memories of your mom through some lucid dreaming type thing." Written by Azmoeth Jikandia

OCT contest

  • Tyrone Joins the Family - "I found twelve cicada shells on my kitchen table. I don't know how that got there. I don't, I don't wanna know." Written by kinchtheknifeblade
  • Grin and Bear It - "I'm trying to use an intimidation tactic on a Snapchat account, and now a bear is judging me for it. Great. Just great." Written by keyii
  • Don Quixote vs Classy Carlos - "I will take no counsel from Satan's scribble. Begone." Written by The Great Hippo
  • Poky And Pal Scheme Together - "Oh, we have the insurance. We have literally every insurance. Just don't want to use it." Written by Captain Kirby
  • 📈If I Tried to Run, Would You Give Me a Shot? - "It's the international sign for 'shut the fuck up or 3845 is going to spot us'." Written by Lazar Lyusternik
  • 📈A Stranger in a Familiar Land - "What are you? A changeling? A specter?" Written by MayD
  • 📈The Kitchen Nightmare - "Sorry. I know you're just trying to follow protocol. but I'm still calling him Toasterhead." Written by Ihp
  • Factored Obsolescence - "Eat magic, you bread-burning toaster-ass sadistic motherfucker!" Written by MaliceAforethought
  • Poky Ball Z - "What in void's name is that? A giant rodent?" Written by hotcoles
  • D-7294's Declassified D-Class Survival Guide - "7294 almost felt something. A vestige from a dozen lifetimes past, perhaps; the memory drugs rarely erased the imprint memories left." Written by UraniumEmpire
  • Alto Clef Jr.: Virus Alert - "Guess I don't really care. Guess I'll just leave them no choice." Written by DolphinSlugchugger
  • A Bear-ly Thought Out Plan - "After 15 minutes of playing with flower crowns, dog faces and feeling like the princess she was, Maya was startled when her screen suddenly switched to an incoming call screen." Written by SecretCrow
  • Ombres Malvants: 1) Tooth and Claw - "Whoever was behind this, he would find them, and bring them to the Foundation. But first, he needed a drink." Written by psul
  • Ducks, Yucks, And A God - “I shall rip your tiny strange beaks from your tiny strange bodies!" Written by DrDromeus
  • An Arm-y Of Two - "You failed to consult an alchemist when performing a transmutation, of course." Written by DrMagnus
  • The Abyss Gazes Back (And It's ASCII On A CRT Screen) - "The ominous mountain in the distance commanded its presence, while the overture of anime music reached a Gothic crescendo." Written by Lt Flops
  • Alchemic Arm-istice - "The hell kind of wizard wears purple shoes?" Written by Weryllium
  • Derailment By Prehistoric Artillery Strike - "Take a look around you, ████. Feel the world. Feel how fake it is. You're trapped in a story, doomed to repeat yourself forever in the minds of a thousand different readers." Written by NatVoltaic
  • incorrective unconsciousness - "No matter how happy she wants to look, she keeps escaping into video games." Written by Decibelles
  • 📈To Run Forever - "How many deaths was he responsible for, but had never devoted a thought to until the bodies were inches in front of his face?" Written by Attila the Pun
  • Tools and Their Uses - "Save us, Moon Champion." Written by fieldstone
  • 📈Kaleidoscope of Guilt - "Look, doc. If you have to say something, say it. Don't give us the damn telenovela script." Written by JackalRelated
  • 📈Alto Clef Jr.: Étoile et toi - "His burning corpse hitched on the terrace's guard rail before his center of mass shifted back and he went diving through the Paris night, down, down, into the sea." Written by DolphinSlugchugger
  • 📈The Scent of the Worm - "YOU HAD ME FLY DOWN TO TEXAS TO WASH SOME COLLEGE STUDENT’S DISHES." Written by TechSorcerer2747
  • 📈A god, a joke, and some ducks - "There's supposed to be a gahd in dis room, he must be hiding hid treasure in dis ugly head." Written by Aleph-Null
  • Trilobites: Many Reasons To Kill Them, and 0 Reasons Not To - "I don't know, aren't you supposed to be the narrative expert?" Written by Croquembouche
  • the antihero by dado - "no sir u r the incorrect. dado is captain of industry!" Written by djkaktus

Author Pages


Week of September 8th:


  • SCP-3744 ("Dungeons And D-Class Personnel") - The ultimate Dungons and Dragons experience. Written by JanitorCakeworth and keyii
  • SCP-4948 ("Behind Ajar Doors") - If you feel dread or anxiety after reading this articleor if you see any unexpected entities, please consult your on-site psychiatrist. Written by not_a_seagull.
  • 📈SCP-4671 ("Clarky the Clown") - Ahyuck, he's a clown! Honk honk :o) Written by Baronjoe.
  • 📈SCP-4150 ("Beatlemania!") - All the latest hits on Cool Yet Radio presented by your favorite FM Host: SanguineScimitar.
  • SCP-4908 ("Story of my Life") - Play your life through VR. Written by Dr Astari.
  • SCP-002-EX ("Lost It All") - And all we hear are echoes of that lost history. Written by NatVoltaic.
  • SCP-4911 ("September 11th, 2001") - The darkest hours of New York City were also the most American. Written by djkaktus.
  • 📈SCP-4104 ("Cultivating Nirvana") - If you meet the buddha on the road kill him. Written by KindlyTurtleClem.
  • 📈SCP-3674 ("The Loss of Sector H") - There is only one word to describe the events: conspiracy. Written by trennerdios.
  • SCP-4125 ("Revenimus") - They deserved what they got. All of them, five-pointed failures. Written by A Blessed Feline.
  • 📈SCP-4899 ("Blackbody") - Just because something is watching us doesn't mean it's watching out for us. Written by Lady Zero.


  • 📈Probability - "Hey, buddy. It's time to go to containment chamber fifty-five. I'm not gonna shut up until you're there." Written by Gabriel Jade.
  • Foundations - " Here is to the hope that your laboratory is made of stronger stuff than ours!" Written by The Great Hippo.
  • 📈Agent Pocket Ukulele Through the Fire and Flames - "He guessed that both lungs, her esophagus, and her heart were FUBAR from bone fragments from her sternum being shattered at 2000 joules worth of impact." Written by DolphinSlugchugger.
  • 📈Crying Over Spilt Milk - "Does this fucking milk have any importance?" Written by ianofdoom2 and moist bread.
  • (Too) Late Registration - "He Alt + Tabbed, opened up his Sandbox, and got to work." Written by Uncle Nicolini.
  • 📈Everything Will Be Okay - "I… I wish Brainy was here…" Written by DarkStuff.
  • 📈Yuli and Ivan Go On An Adventure. Part II - "Yes, second of all — every organization needs a bureaucrat." Written by LongWalkHome.
  • 📈Closed Game - "This was an assassination attempt, Bea." Written by Jacob Conwell.
  • La Marcha GrenaDEETa - "We must flee! Adventure abounds, and we won't be doing much adventuring standing idly by! ¡Vamos amigos!" Written by OthellotheCat.
  • Los Dias Y Los Caballeros De Leslie Y El Doctor - "He stood, alone, and looked at the broken world around him. A sick, dying world. A world in need of a cure." Written by Gabriel Jade.
  • Down with the Sickness - "And, um… I really like your proboscis. ~" Written by The Great Hippo.
  • The Necromancer - A grouchy necromancer and her harried intern disrespect the ghost of John Maynard Keynes. Written by GreenWolf.
  • 📈The Scent of a Toaster - "For the first time in eternity, ToasterHead stepped out of his warehouse and into the outside world." Written by not_a_seagull.
  • Vital Signs - "Come on Kit, let's go make Hoover's ghost proud by conducting an illegal search of the headquarters of a community leader." Written by GreenWolf.
  • 📈Holding an Umbrella but the Sun's Still Shining - "Gee monetley, chrizzity, just, ah flibberdeegibbit, please tell Pepper to change the ritual! Again!" Written by DarkStuff.
  • 📈Suspect Ratio - "Cash, credit, or improv?" Written by Taffeta.

GOI Formats

  • Portlands Derby Teams - "PORTLANDS DERBY TEAMS: RANKED BY HOW MUCH THEY SCARE ME" Written by ch00bakka.

Author Pages


  • GOC ACT Hub - Clef Jr. KILLS the marvel FOUNDATION UNIVERSE! Written by DolphinSlugchugger.

Week of September 15th:


  • 📈SCP-3754 ("Pocket Pet Collector Plus!") - The killer app in which paying to win is not advisable. Written by RockTeethMothEyes.
  • SCP-4080 ("Spotlight”) - You’re important to someone. Recorded by OthellotheCat in front of a live studio audience.
  • 📈SCP-4044 ("A Reprieve") - It's best to leave this world not with a smile on your face. Written by fieldstone.
  • 📈SCP-4349 ("…But I Play One On TV") - No Doogie Howser references here, folks. Just thought I'd save you the trouble. Written by SilverTonguedMadness.
  • SCP-3849 ("A Tubful of Time") - Most tubs are full of water, but the indefinite continued progress of existence and events that occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future works just as well. Written by Gabriel Jade.
  • 📈SCP-4916 ("Kalhu Space Program") - The space race is a competition that has been going for a very, very long time. Written by Rigen.
  • SCP-3586 ("Gourmet Gull") - The only seagull in the world to replicate through mitosis. Written by IAmTheOoga.


  • Anomalous Teens Against Trilobite Schemes - Explosions! Snapchat! DEAD TRILOBITES! Written by keyii.
  • Casting His Shadow, Weaving His Spell - ""Om, Kal, Thom." Then, as if struck, one of the men stopped chanting. "Alexa, turn the basement light on." Written by Doctor Cimmerian.
  • 📈The Hotel California Presents: Ecce Farcio - "The job was simple: kill every last one of those bastards." Written by DolphinSlugchugger.
  • 📈Catfish - "Memetic kill agents watermarked on every page make him hiccup as they bounce off his subliminal inoculations. "I told you," Gordon says. "Special. Bring donuts, they love that." Written by fieldstone.
  • Poky And Pal Arm Themselves - "Only in the Foundation will you ever see an eldritch cactus, a man with his arms encased in polymer gel, and like four guards sitting in the back of the same van." Written by Captain Kirby.
  • Ombres Malvants: 2) blue pills - "oh ok. many barcelona hamsters, lot orders, so dado assume." Written by psul.
  • 📈Middlegame - "UIU Agent Kenneth Spencer made no attempts to hide the disdain in his voice. As soon as the number for Spicy Crust Pizza appeared on his office phone he knew this was not going to be an enjoyable phone call." Written by Jacob Conwell.
  • The Last Things Dr. Darryl Loyd Ever Did, in Chronological Order - "All in all, he was glad he'd probably die before he had to clean this up." Written by UraniumEmpire.
  • Here, We Only Got One Rule: Never, Ever Let It Cool - For once, it's nothing but a small christmas miracle. Written by hotcoles.
  • Do You Remember Funerals? - An trip back to the last death. Written by Captain Kirby.
  • asmr by dado - hello yes dado do asmr now thank make byLordStonefish.
  • 📈Puppets And Their Masters - "SCP-2801-KL wasn't the Chaos Insurgency's first attempt at a Neurocrack worm, but it was easily their best." Written by Attila the Pun.
  • Down The Rabbit Wormhole - "This is JUNIOR RESEARCHER, and although she doesn't have a name in her limited canonical appearances, that doesn't mean she doesn't have a personality." Written by plaguebearer.

GOI Formats

Author Pages


Week of September 22nd:


  • 📈SCP-4136 ("uncle") - "my uncle at nintendo who is totally real says this article ROCKS!!!" Written by BananaRepublic.
  • 📈SCP-4019 ("The Coolest Art by Torontorlock") - Leave? Toronto? Why leave when you can unwillingly be apart of the coolest art show this side of the hemisphere! Written by TheHouseOfBalloons.
  • 📈SCP-4042 ("Somebody to Love") - Loneliness is a sickness which a friend can cure. Written by GentleGifts.
  • 📈SCP-199 ("Spy Ferns") - You can can call me Fern…James Fern. Written by not_a_seagull.
  • SCP-4560 ("Everything is Fine") - I am currently ok with the events unfolding. Written by Jacob Conwell.
  • SCP-3531 ("Skyfood") - "What's the deal with airline food?" Written by magnadeus.
  • SCP-4577 ("When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash") - "Probably the first SCP referencing It's Always Sunny in its title." Written by MrPines.
  • SCP-4039 ("The Second Second Law of Thermodynamics") - "It is hypothesized that SCP-4039 will result in a ZK-Class Reality Failure Scenario in approximately 10100 years." Written by DrFred.
  • SCP-4405 ("Time Ends on a Fridays") - "Douglas Adams would be proud" Written by OthellotheCat and DolphinSlugChugger.
  • SCP-1831 ("I Feel Homesick For A Place I'm Not Even Sure Exists") - "Big Brother is watching: he just doesn't care." Written by Westrin.
  • 📈SCP-4640 ("Let the darn kid experience real life!") - The Golden Age, Today! Written by Dramps.
  • SCP-4747 ("I Improved My Marriage By Perverting Nature (Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Spit Upon God's Creation)") - Who needs marriage counseling when you have cheap and mysterious occult rituals! Written by UraniumEmpire.
  • SCP-4950 ("Triple Six Five Forked Tongue") - "Where we dropping, boys?" Written by A Random Day.
  • SCP-4344 ("Kick Asteroid") - Dinosaurs in SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!! Written by Weryllium.
  • 📈SCP-4117 ("Mannequins of a Table") - A personal performance with a hearty meal does the soul good. Written by Derps31 and zyn.
  • 📈SCP-4098 ("Where The Serpent Lies") - In the great sand sea, where Beatles come to die. Written by Oculism.
  • 📈SCP-4626 ("The only thing we have to fear…") - "Object Class: Azathoth Euclid" Written by Tsequiri.
  • 📈SCP-4163 ("The Tetris Prodigy") - Just a regular ol' perfect game of tetris and the end of the world. Written by LiterallyMechanical.
  • SCP-4050 ("Oh, The Humidity!") - "Think twice about going to the deep end of the pool." Written by Westrin.


  • Buggy Hardware (or Why I Don't Play Violent Video Games) - "We're not here because we did something wrong, are we?" Written by Lt Flops.
  • Sometimes Manna Is Just a Cicada Shell - "You guys kidnapped me and kept me from my moms for, like, a long time. Can't say I'm a big fan of your work, old man." Written by kinchtheknifeblade.
  • 📈Autonomy, Part II - "What? Why do I have to be seen? And how am I supposed to just steal one of these?" Written by Cyantreuse.
  • 📈Some People Call Me the Goose Cowboy - "Fucking worthless." Written by DolphinSlugchugger.
  • A Transcribed Collection of Haiku Graffiti from Site-42 - "I'll do this later" Written by Gabriel Jade.
  • 📈Fear, Guilt, Anxiety - "Our childhood sucked and you had to be strong for us both, and that meant becoming hard. You became a bully as a preemptive measure." Written by AndarielHalo.
  • Tying the Gordian Knot - "Foolish mortal! Anoati's contracts are ironclad." Written by Lazar Lyusternik.
  • 📈Tight Bookshelves - "Come on, talk to me… I don't know, take me to Hogwarts or something, that would be amazing!" Written by Researcher Blasko.
  • 📈Battle For The Minds - “Isn’t that perfect?! I have half a mind to just smash the thing and call it an accident! You know the GOC wouldn’t mind!” Written by DrDromeus.
  • An Explosive Shout Cracks the Great Empty Sky - "It's a little slice of heaven. Lovely place called Riddle, Wyoming." Written by Gabriel Jade.
  • 📈The Doors Are Grey - "Containment breach, your dire loss, Burned from life as useless dross." Written by DrMagnus.
  • strange man on phone interrupt hamster holiday by dado - "now, many people is tell dado in comment of video "but dado this is not hamster this is ginny pig". to them i say it is 2018 and robert mitchell can be whatever he wants to be thank u." Written by djkaktus.
  • 📈Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? - “My first real moment with Marion involved the X-Files.” Written by TechSorcerer2747.
  • 📈The Cure - "The cure. We know. We all are." Written by DolphinSlugchugger.
  • Snapchat Trilobash (Cannon Fire Can't Fix Everything) - "I can't think of when the last time I saw my own face was. I can take selfies but I don't really know what happens there, they just start existing. It's the only way I can take myself away from this place." Written by NatVoltaic.
  • Ojai - "You know what the original plan was when we found out about you? Orbital laser cannon to the top of the head. We can do that, my man." Written by qntm.


Author Pages


  • BrenZo has been drawing mekhanite technology for some time and now they have their own art page on this wiki. Be sure to check out their new atmospheric piece "We March To The End Of All Things".

  • pastarasta1 drew 6 SCPs every day during the month of September. Check out his massive and ever growing gallery on his artwork page here.

  • ResearcherSheppard, a new artist in the community, has created a page on the wiki for their simple and whimsical creations.

  • Would you like to see a sprite only 34 pixels across that manages to represent at least half a dozen 001 proposals in a very limited palette? Head over to Crystlon's art page.

  • SunnyClockwork has added a few new illustrations in her signature high contrast style. SunnyClockwork's Artwork - Series IV now holds a joint image for SCP-3041 ("The Red Knife") & SCP-3154 ("Terminal State Inducer") and an illustration of SCP-3702 ("I Walk Through The Desert, And I Have No Name"). There is also now an illustration for Tufto's SCP-001 Proposal ("The Scarlet King") on SunnyClockwork's Artwork - Series I.

  • Artist and writer OthellotheCat has been quietly uploading drawings to their art page over the last year. Check out their two new illustrations this month "SCP-049, SCP-3774, SCP-4028" and "SCP-4080" to see their progress from doing only line drawings to starting to incorporate color and shading.

  • The prolific artist DrShine has recently uploaded parts 5-10 of their original comic "Apotheosis" to their artwork page.
    This is an ongoing project. The next part of "Apotheosis" is expected to start in the second week of October.

  • This month SCP author and artist Mendelssohn uploaded illustrations of SCP-2855 ("Mr. Money") and a large colorful painting to go with the Apotheosis series. Both can be seen on their Tumblr blog.

Some Excellent YouTube Content Out This Month


Q: Can I replace a blurb that you wrote for one of my articles with my own? I'm not satisfied with it.

A: Absolutely. You will always have that option at any point.

Q: I noticed an error/typo/incorrect information and wish to correct it. May I?

A: Sure! If the changes are not limited to your own article(s) and/or are substantial changes across multiple entries, you should post in that month's discussion page and then make the changes.

Q: I wrote an article and it seems to have stuck. Can I send a blurb of mine to one of the frequent collaborators?

A: Yup! It's much easier if you come to us about it, and it gives you the control over what you want shown on the news page.

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