News for September 2017

News Time Capsule

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Welcome to this installment of site news, where new articles are dropping faster than leaves!

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month1, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

Featured Articles

  • The featured articles for September were SCP-2329 ("But Nobody's Home") by gishface, Where Have You Been All My Life by qntm, and #Xiupania by Faminepulse. The first is about a house that isn't haunted, the second is about a woman's husband being eaten by the family pet, and the third is about the social media of the consciousness of one Jason Graham! Check them out!

Editor's Choice Articles

None?! Oh well. Better luck next month!

Event Featured Articles

The theme for the month of September was exchange!

  • In SCP-2407 ("Learned Helplessness"), by Roget and TroyL, man became dependent on the machines…
  • In SCP-2153 ("Charitable Clovers"), by Waterfire, there was a price to pay for herbicide…
  • And in SCP-2523 ("Goblin Market"), by sirpudding, some ancient creatures set up shop…

Rest of the News

Missing out on articles? Enjoy a recap on the articles from the past month.

Week of September 1st:

Bang bang!


  • UNDEFINED - There's something there. At least, something thinks it's there. Written by Jack Ike.
  • SCP-3131 ("Music is Life") - SCP-3131-34 ("thunder.mp3", containing the song Thunder by Boys Like Girls) was retrieved following the interception of a social media post regarding a defective laptop believed to be "haunted". Written by Kenoma and Zyn.
  • SCP-3236 ("All Those Fucking Ideas") - Have you ever wanted to bang the concept of Death? She doesn't say much but the sex is to die for. Written by spikebrennan.
  • SCP-3404 ("Down with the Sickness") - An estimated 100.000 individuals worldwide, believed to be those with a Psionic Resistance Index of 70 or less, were capable of perceiving SCP-3404-A as a visual, olfactory, and/or tactile hallucination that lasted for four minutes. Written by Communism will win.
  • SCP-3913 ("Keep on Trucking") - Some people keep pets. Jebediah kept an eighteen-wheeler. Written by Doctor Cimmerian.
  • SCP-3958 ("Little Brother") - SCP-3958 is a miniature replica of planet Earth, approximately 38 mm in diameter. SCP-3958 is spatially locked above the ground with respect to the Sun, such that it always remains on the night side of the Earth underneath the L2 Lagrange point. Written by TerraChron.
  • SCP-3661 ("A Toy Story") - The wires move in the direction of the corresponding SCP-3661-B instance and, if able to reach it, enter its body through passageways such as the tear ducts, esophagus, and urethra. Written by fieldstone.
  • SCP-3178 ("Ramen-Controlled Classism") - Doctor Sanchez notably had his eyebrows singed off during an incident involving SCP-████. Investigation on the relation between these two incidents is currently on-going. Written by HiuMentah.


  • Freaky Commodities 2: Freak Harder - “Oh, you are lucky I always take Clown Impulse Suppressant before I leave the Circus!” she huffed, taking a deep breath and letting her face return to its regular colour. Part of Dread and Circuses by DrChandra.
  • Green Day - "Please, Agent Bailey, don't treat it as if it was human. It's unprofessional." Written by BananaRepublic.

GOI Formats

Author's Pages

Week of September 8th:

For the people, by the people…


  • SCP-3360 ("Proletariart, by San Francisco Jones") - BEING the tale of an AWCY? mind-reading robot that endeavors to create anart for the common man. Written by A Random Day.
  • SCP-2753 ("Let's Play Jenga!") - You take a block from the middle and you put it on top; that's how you build a tower — you just don't stop! Built by The Great Hippo.
  • SCP-3308 ("Crooked Excavator") - It is imperative that our MTF unit secure SCP-3308 in a new facility as quickly as humanly possible. I don't want to even think about the monumental problems that will arise if this thing manages to break through a damn mountain. Unearthed by yarou151.
  • SCP-2679 ("The Many Graves of Jeannette Parslov") - Whatever it takes — do what you must. Whatever the cost — come back to us. Dug up by The Great Hippo.
  • SCP-3424 ("Esto No Es Un Limón") - You've heard of the man in the moon, now get ready for the man in the lemon! Written by ahbonjour.
  • SCP-3477 ("Will the Real Harold Holt Please Stand Up?") - Harold Holt made himself immortal. All of him. Written by stormbreath.
  • SCP-3221 ("Prester John the Unbroken") - SCP-3221-2 is believed to have been originally expelled to SCP-3221-1 following a joint action of Mekhanite and proto-sarkic cults in the fifth century AD. Co-written by Modern_Erasmus and Tufto.
  • SCP-3106 ("A Flesh-Removing Bog") - Yes, I have a heartbeat. I can breathe. I don't feel naked anymore. Written by Regal-J.
  • SCP-3545 ("The Places You'll Never Go") - Am I a man that dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly still dreaming that it is a man? Written by Billith.


  • Going in (REDACTED) - There's a reason the containment procedures should never be redacted. Written by Boogey_Man23.
  • Dispatch from the Paintball War - Overwatch Command acquires a new attack dog. Written by rockyred9.
  • Assault on Site-64 - When an anomaly allows for a security breach into Site-64, the Chaos Insurgency is quick to seize the opportunity to run a smash and grab operation. Their target: A massive cache of Anderson Robotics security drones. Written by Jacob Conwell.
  • Small Town Problems - In small towns like this,nobody wants to talk about the monster under the bed - especially when that monster could be the football coach. Written by DrMagnus.
  • Ethics Committee Observer Orientation, Pt. II - Don't worry, there is no Part One. Written by ghostchibi.
  • Bloodlines - The Impaler pays the Roma a visit, and in the process becomes the harbinger of a new age. Part of the On Mount Golgotha canon, written by psul.

GoI Formats


Author's Pages

Week of September 15th:

Ah, Canadian… what a beautiful language.


  • SCP-3067 ("Interdimensional Pirate Radio Station") - SCP-3067 had been thought not to bear any relation to humanity until Week 2, in which an audibly recognisable version of Adele's 2008 song 'Make You Feel My Love', albeit subject to major alterations, was transmitted. Written by acc1177.
  • SCP-3437 ("The Black Archive") - A repository that contains everything there isn't to know. Written by RubySlax.
  • SCP-3263 ("Mr. Headgeworth's School for the Magically Gifted") - You have been chosen to attend the [REDACTED] School of Witchcraft and Wizardry… Written by UsernameAlias.
  • SCP-80s-J ("Strangerer Things") - Maybe the real eldritch horrors were inside us all along. Written by djkaktus.
  • SCP-3811 ("A Therapist Needs A Therapist") - Those working with SCP-3811 who wish to become an instance of SCP-3811-A must be approved by two Level 4 personnel and must fill out the necessary forms regarding their background and current psychological health. Written by OthellotheCat.
  • SCP-3371 ("Beautiful Inside My Head Forever") - Get my skeleton up on display somewhere. Gilded. Written by bittermixin.
  • SCP-3074 ("Kafka's Parking Garage") - Thank you for choosing Izatova Parking Center. Have a pleasant day. Written by The Great Hippo.
  • SCP-3886 ("The Necromancer's Saddle") - A horse is a horse of course but who rode it is important… ridden by Ember16.
  • SCP-3838 ("Nomads of the 4th-Dimensional Steppe") - The simplest solution to avoiding territorial conflicts is simply to exist at different points in time. Written by Tufto.
  • SCP-3336 ("God Bless You") - On April 16, 2014, at 9:55 PM, every living thing in the whole world sneezed at the exact same time. This is the aftermath of the Post-Sneeze World. Written by towwl.
  • SCP-3934 ("For Sale: Loch Ness Monsters") - Better than sea monkeys. Written by Modern_Erasmus.
  • SCP-3990 ("Deer in the Headroom") - Tune your antlers for better reception. Written by Sterbai.


Author's Pages

Week of September 22nd:

Who's your daddy?


  • SCP-3344 ("Mourning Son") - I guess I understand why you wanted to keep your work and personal life separate, huh, Dad? Written by trennerdios.
  • SCP-3339 ("Randall the Clown's Wacky Broadway Theatre") - Every Saturday at 7:00 PM2, come on down to Randall's Wacky Broadway Theatre and see some sights that'll make you want to throw your eyes out, since nothing else will be worth seeing! Written by not_a_seagull.
  • SCP-3717 ("Pickl'd Punkz") - We’re frickin’ babies! We’re in jars! Child-proof jars to boot! Written by DrChandra.
  • SCP-3580 ("The Devotion Locket") - I'm not like her… not yet. Written by Rysiiah.
  • SCP-3103 ("Vengeful Wings") - Acoodledoodledoo! Acoodledoodledoo! Written by Badger100.
  • SCP-3086 ("Death of the Author, etc.") - Original character - steal if you dare. Written by TheeSherm.
  • SCP-3505 ("Singed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours") - Text me if you need anything. Written by Communism will win.
  • SCP-3107 ("The Well-Documented Marble") - Curiosity killed the cat. Written by DoomSmith.
  • SCP-3337 ("Death of the Artist") - Nothing gives life more meaning than a lack of it. Written by ch00bakka.


  • Second Quarto - Sing a song of SCPs. The sequel to First Quarto, written by ahbonjour.
  • Priorities - Making an enemy of the Foundation while in the wild is a foolish thing to do, even more so when in containment. However, for a father reaching out to his daughter on final time, it may be worth it. Written by Jacob Conwell.
  • Sometimes It's Not Funny - There's a time and place for jokes. This isn't either of them. Written by kinchtheknifeblade.

Fandom Stuff


Huge, huge thanks to Boogey_Man23 and OthellotheCat for finding some fantastic fanart for September! This month, we go international!

  • Mr Abadede of the Italian branch is producing some really neat 3D Images that capture various moments in the Foundation, from everyone's favorite murderous rebar statue to more under-the-radar hits like Wriggle Like a Fu**ing Eel!
  • Check out the gallery of work by the French branch's Dr Frog!

What's happening on the Twitter front? Well..

From Reddit:

From DeviantArt:

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