News for September/October 2016

Welcome to this installment of site news, where we hope you got plenty of tricks and treats in your pillowcases! Here, have two months of news for the price of one!

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

On-Site News

Featured Articles

  • The featured articles for this month are SCP-1791 ("Mobile Homes") by astronautilusastronautilus and Reach's Blueprint Folder by Dr ReachDr Reach. One's about a home and family you can't get away from, and the other is all about the blueprints for the Foundation's advanced tech, with pictures! Check them out!
  • The featured articles for October were SCP-1881 ("Arcade Machine") by zaratustrazaratustra and Tales of the Foundation Force Five by CryogenChaosCryogenChaos. One's about a game that you can't stop playing, and the other is about the heroic adventures of the Senior Staff Superheroes. Check them out!
  • The featured articles for September were SCP-2031 ("Ant farm") by sandrewswannsandrewswann and SCUTTLE by pxdnbluesoulpxdnbluesoul. One's about… SHIT. ANTS! And the other is about a system going oh so wrong. Check them out!
  • The winners of the 2016 D-Class Contest were SCP-2439 ("SLOT UNALLOCATED") by Jack IkeJack Ike, SCP-2669 ("Khevtuul 1") by KalininKalinin, and History by HumanmaleHumanmale. One's about convicts fighting an invisible war, one's about a space probe piloted by a deranged scientist, and the last is about the day-to-day lives of D-Class personnel. Check them out!

Event-Featured Articles

September:
  • September 19 was International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Yarr Gather 'round, and listen to Doctor CimmerianDoctor Cimmerian and Faminepulse's tale of a ship in space, the crew of the voyajer, and their adventures.
  • September 25-26 was World Dream Day! (Night?) Dreams can inspire us to make wonders of the blank slate that is the future. But what happens when something goes wrong with our sleep-time dreams? Consider the case of A Dream's Nightmare, by KnightKnightKnightKnight.
  • September 29 was National Coffee Day! Whether it's keeping you awake, functioning, sane, or some mix of the three, coffee is a pretty great drink! Just be careful if you're using that strange coffee percolator DrBerggrenDrBerggren was talking about…
October:
  • October 14 was World Egg Day! Take a moment to think of the benefits of eggs. Such as the MAN EGG that marslifeformmarslifeform told us about. It seems a little questionable. DO NOT LEAVE EGGS OUTSIDE OF A COLD ENVIRONMENT FOR MORE THAN HALF AN HOUR AT A TIME. IF ANYTHING EMERGES FROM YOUR MAN EGG, PLEASE CALL █-███-███-████.
  • October 28 was National Chocolate Day, a day to celebrate all things chocolate! Remember to watch out for that one chocolate fountain by QuikngruvnQuikngruvn, though.
  • October 31st was Halloween! Hope you had a happy All Hallows' Eve, mortals, enchanters, walkers of the world. Eat candy, spin stories, enjoy the night of fright with friends and folk alike. And, as IhpIhp will tell us of, let us Dance the Danse!

Rest of the News

  • Holy cow, it's the one-year anniversary of the Site News! Everyone send DecibellesDecibelles a thank-you for starting it and delivering your [bi-] monthly happenings on the site for the last twelve months!
  • Congratulations to LurkDLurkD's ●●|●●●●●|●●|● for being the first Series 3 SCP to reach the coveted +1000 votes!
  • The Site Rules have been updated! Self-upvoting (upvoting your own articles) is no longer against the rules!
  • The Introduction Forums have been updated! Now all new users can congregate into one thread to introduce themselves and meet other fresh faces!
  • The Grand Crosslinking is open for business! Crosslinking to other SCPs is once more welcomed and encouraged in your articles! And if you want to go back and add crosslinks to your older articles, feel free to do so!

Missing out on articles? Enjoy a recap on the articles from the past month two months. A Random Day handled the blurbs for September and the back half of October; rumetzen took care of the blurbs for the front half of October. As we gear up for Thanksgiving, enjoy!

Contest Articles

This fall, the contest of the season was the 2016 D-Class Contest, challenging our authors to explore stories around those otherwise highly expendable personnel. The winners are above, but here's a full listing of all the entries. As usual, no blurbs.

+ Contest articles!

September

Week of September 1st:

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a hobolloon!

SCPs:

  • SCP-2371 ("A Secret Admirer") - The Foundation has a secret admirer. Not someone in the Foundation, the Foundation itself. Penned by Agent MacLeodAgent MacLeod.
  • SCP-2763 ("The Tragedy of SCP-2763, A Modern Euclid Tale") - Was I born at the time and place of Sir Richard Gloster? Or minutes ago at your desk as you began transcribing this exchange? Written by Dr SoloDr Solo.
  • SCP-2924 ("Drifters") - Hoboes that turn into balloons. Enough said. Blown up by CapnThatguyCapnThatguy.
  • SCP-2398 ("Interdimensional Courier") - Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor the laws of physics stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. Delivered by Doc Expletive does not match any existing user name.

Tales:

Week of September 7th:

Deum ex Machina mortis.

SCPs:

  • SCP-2927 ("Soundspots") - You can hear it, can't you? The sound coming from nowhere? What happens when they meet? Written by CapnThatguyCapnThatguy.
  • SCP-2949 ("Observable Televised Feline Migration") - Tyger, tyger, burning bright, in this dim cathode-ray light. What your mortal eyes can see, are cats coming out of your TV. Recorded on VHS by minminminmin.
  • SCP-2630 ("Stock of a Sort") - The butcher's livestock market, now being used to predict the economist's stock market. Don't get too close or your insides will become tomorrow's forecast. Played by TaffetaTaffeta.
  • SCP-2820 ("Vaishnavastra") - The Lord makes his presence known in many forms - including an AI-controlled death ray. Fired by A Random DayA Random Day.
  • SCP-2608 ("Anomalous Indicator Species") - Anomalous canaries in an anomalous coal mine. Written by gemcuttlefishgemcuttlefish.
  • SCP-2904 ("Temporary Immortals") - I've done a lot of awful things to make the world a safer place. If only I could live in it. Written by HumanmaleHumanmale.
  • SCP-2974 ("Dried and Salted Lizard") - SCP-2974 was recovered in its current state after reports of a "mummy lizard" from the University of ████████, ███████ ████ were investigated. Questioning of the involved students revealed that the anomaly was discovered in an on-campus vending machine in a bag of trail mix. Packaged by SpectralDragonSpectralDragon.
  • SCP-2466 ("Slay Dragon Save City") - Pokemon Go Contain Yourself. Played by Communism will winCommunism will win.
  • SCP-013-J ("The Cuttlefish of Ultimate Wisdom") - DEATH RACES FOR US IN ATTRACTIVE YET FUNCTIONAL FOOTWEAR! And unless Foundation Commander ███████ greets all whom she interacts with, with her warmest of hugs, IT SHALL COME FOR HER! Predicted by DomeAcolyteDomeAcolyte.
  • SCP-2883 ("A Rainbow, Holographic, Crystal Dinosaur") - Art, uh, finds a way. Written by Mf99kMf99k.
  • SCP-2415 ("One Half of a Two-Hander") - The middle of the sword might be missing, but all you need is the tip. Forged by WrongJohnSilverWrongJohnSilver.

Tales:

GoI Formats:

Author Pages:

Week of September 15th:

I've got my (evil) eye on you…

SCPs:

  • SCP-2957 ("The Lunar Watchers") - The Servants of the Moon always have something for sale. But beware the Koboldes - to speak of them is to summon them… purchased by coffeepunkcoffeepunk, Dr_GromDr_Grom, and ZynZyn.
  • SCP-2283 ("Spirit Bomb") - This weapon doesn't need five episodes to charge… detonated by researcher_tmresearcher_tm.
  • SCP-2729 ("The Throats of the Earth Hum and Howl") - Can you hear it? The music of the Earth? Written by DarkStuffDarkStuff.
  • SCP-2795 ("The Can-Do Helper") - "The easy to use pal who will keep chores out of your mind and give fun times that are out of this world!" Written by deku_linkdeku_link.
  • SCP-2624 ("Evil Eyes") - Two in the pinkeye, one in the stink eye. Written by Communism will winCommunism will win.
  • SCP-2376 ("Crow's Revenge") - The spare scarecrow he had nailed up three days before had been replaced with the body of his son. Written by AbsentmindedNihilistAbsentmindedNihilist.

Tales:

Author Pages:

Week of September 22nd-30th

This week in Things We Didn't Know We Wanted: lesbian wendigoes!

SCPs:

  • SCP-2804 ("Fire and Forget") - You wanted a deck, I got you a deck. So what if it's floating above the Pacific Ocean? Built by Communism will winCommunism will win.
  • SCP-2766 ("Aqua Caligula") - Way back when, the Romans chained some workaholic spirits to an aqueduct - and they aren't pleased to be on vacation… Written by ch00bakkach00bakka.
  • SCP-2912 ("Clowny Clown Clown") - I'm Dick C. Normus, and this is my clown farm. Milked by MetaphysicianMetaphysician.
  • SCP-2919 ("Protect Kalmaris!") - If you are excited for wormhole transportation, write "Y" on this note! Y Y Y YY Y Y N Y Y Y N N Y. Written by NatVoltaicNatVoltaic.
  • SCP-19316-J ("Improper Terminology") - How about you contain my middle finger? Written by Communism will winCommunism will win.
  • SCP-2646 ("Water Tower") - Water, water, everywhere, and too many drops to drink. Drunk by CirclesAndSquaresCirclesAndSquares.
  • SCP-2877 ("it h8s it here") - Gr8 h8 4 8 m8, I r8 8/8. Written by TheShrikeTheShrike.
  • SCP-2388 ("CRUISE.EXE") - there is someTHING WEIRD GOING ON HERE. Written by CapnThatguyCapnThatguy.
  • SCP-2676 ("For S") - Love makes fools of us all. Written by TL333sTL333s.
  • SCP-2794 ("Cutesy Wutesy Pootesy NK Ladybugs") - We're in deep shit now. Written by Fingo7Fingo7.
  • SCP-2462 ("I'm so tired of fake friends, drama, liars, being ignored, and getting hurt") - Just… leave me, myself, and I with my thoughts. Written by Communism will winCommunism will win.

Tales:

Author Pages:

October

Week of October 1st:

SCPs:

  • SCP-2531 ("The Pumpkin Man") - Do you know the Pumpkin Man? He lives in Mulberry Lane. Grown by Jonathan WhitneyJonathan Whitney.
  • SCP-2934 ("WTF I hate Ndrec Gega now!") - If you can't trust the man in your dreams, who can you trust? Written by ButtfranklinButtfranklin.
  • SCP-2379 ("Roach Motel") - Sometimes, you live in the parasites. RogetRoget's the night manager.
  • SCP-739 ("A Mirrored Booth") - There is so much to do. We are ready to complete our work. We will earn your acknowledgement. Originally written by DWRDWR, rewritten by SirensSirens and Jack IkeJack Ike.
  • SCP-2385 ("Somewhere in the Between") - There's life in these caves, and they long to return to the world outside. Shepherded by ShaggydredlocksShaggydredlocks.
  • SCP-103-2 Confirmed Sightings - They're everywhere! Wake up sheeple! A collaborative log started by Communism will winCommunism will win.
  • SCP-2868 ("Concept Cordyceps") - I knew I'd been seeing more of those fucking street performers lately. Written by SpookyBee does not match any existing user name.
  • SCP-2951 ("10,000 Years") - What's the worst thing you could meet in the belly of the Earth? Yourself. Excavated by djkaktusdjkaktus.
  • SCP-2287 ("Mr. Headless") - Ichabod Crane might not be too worried about this one. Written by VoctVoct.
  • SCP-2549 ("Animal Assassins") - Sometimes nature bites back. Written by TheShrikeTheShrike.
  • SCP-2296 ("Emperor Penguin Tube Mommas") - I don't remember seeing this on Planet Earth. Written by ButtfranklinButtfranklin.
  • SCP-2947 ("Hot and Cold Running Dogs") - Everyone likes mini-dogs, right? Drown in them. Written by JekeledJekeled.
  • SCP-2664 ("Q U A C K - Q U A C K") - Turns out Gilbert Gottfried was actually a giant were-duck wearing a mask made of Gottfried's skin. That's the sane part. Played by A Random DayA Random Day.

Tales:

GoI Formats:

Guides:

Week of October 8th:

  • SCP-2632 ("No Fury") - When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws, they prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws. 'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male. Written by Doctor CimmerianDoctor Cimmerian.
  • Di Molte Voci:

Maybe I could write some format screw for the summary? Something posted from the perspective of a made up a doctor discussing the scip. Wait, I don't think that would be meta enough. - rumetzen

- Communism will winCommunism will win

  • SCP-2559 ("I've Heard There's Something Going Around") - Hypochondriacs beware. Contracted by RimpleRimple.
  • Allison Eckhart - Hey, who approved Charlie Kaufman's application? Written by Allison Eckhart TaffetaTaffeta.

Tales:

Week of October 15th:

SCPs:

  • SCP-2784 ("My friends have made a net") - Even in death Andrew didn't want to inconvenience anyone. Written by Lex1nat0rLex1nat0r.
  • SCP-2943 ("In Case Of Emergency, Break Glass") - Tis a lesson you should heed: Try, try, try again. If at first you don't succeed, Try, try, try again. Written by Jack IkeJack Ike.
  • SCP-61231 ("An Honest Buck") - SCP-61231 is a female of the species Cardisoma armatum, commonly known as a dollar bill. Written by TheShrikeTheShrike.
  • SCP-2607 ("Herpes ERPlex") - Be aware of STDs: Sexual Telephone Diseases. Written by ch00bakkach00bakka.
  • SCP-2685 ("Thinking in Abstraction"): You can't discuss this SCP if you try using Anglo-Saxon Symbol #5. In fact, this blurb was truly difficult to whip up. Analysis by ObserverSeptemberObserverSeptember.
  • SCP-2773 ("Panic Attacks") - How on earth does an apartment building have panic attacks? Oh man, I'm getting a panic attack just thinking about it… Written by Okami069Okami069 and ZynZyn.
  • SCP-1851-J ("Fibber Lake") - I caught a fish THIS big! See? Oh shit did it just eat Jenkins?! Caught by ErazmErazm.
  • SCP-1026-J ("Mr. Somebody") - Sorry [DATA EXPUNGED], what was your name again? Oh, right, it's [REDACTED] isn't it? Oh, no, wait, isn't it [SUCKS TO BE YOU]? Forgotten by Mf99kMf99k.
  • SCP-402 ("Obsidian Absorber") - Did it absorb the water, or did it absorb the concept of water? Written by an unknown author, rewritten by QuantumApplesQuantumApples and then rewritten by Communism will winCommunism will win.
  • SCP-2285 ("Cloud-Eating Birds") - SCP-2285 used Rain Dance! SCP-2285 used Hurricane! It's super-effective! Summoned by DragonManipulator372DragonManipulator372.
  • SCP-2467 ("A Sum Greater Than Its Parts") - Beware the DV Toluca. The song it sings makes you want to stay… and then you end up as cast-off detritus. Captained by Dr BalthazaarDr Balthazaar.

Tales:

Author Pages:

Week of October 22nd - 31st:

Hope you guys had a frightfully good Halloween!

SCPs:

  • SCP-2964 ("Cryonic Tea Party") - How can William Boeing be burning up in the atmosphere if he was cryogenically frozen? Written by JekeledJekeled.
  • SCP-2968 ("Predatory Bus-iness Practices") - You know, I'm glad that these bus-eating silicon monsters are considerate enough to let passengers off first. Driven by JekeledJekeled.
  • SCP-2668 ("Blood Eagle") - Look, I'm sorry, but unless you improve your performance this quarter, you will be let go. Then disemboweled. Written by ErazmErazm.
  • SCP-2486 ("Pomegarrotte") - Pomegranate zombies. Harvested by Communism will winCommunism will win.
  • SCP-2315 ("Mother Always Knows") - I'm very disappointed in you, honey; you were supposed to complete the ritual sacrament and carve this nice man's heart from his chest before I came home! Written by WrongJohnSilverWrongJohnSilver.
  • SCP-2535 ("Printers that Eat, and Eaters that Print") - Hewlett-Packard's new integrated business solutions weren't quite what these employees expected. Scanned by minminminmin.
  • SCP-2973 ("Ihct͟o̢ga̴m͠a̢t")- Remember to feed your Tamagotchi o̧r̨ í̵t͝ w҉il̛͟l̸̀͜ ͘͢g͜͠e̶͜t̀͡ H͏U̴͞N̨͟͝G̴R̕Y̢̛ F̸̷OR̕ ̧̢Y͢͢Ó͏̴U̶R̡ S͜͢O̷̶͢UL̸̀. Kept by SpookyBee does not match any existing user name and Faminepulse.
  • SCP-2318 ("Country Club Nuisance") - His wife isn't the only thing Tiger Woods cheated on. Played by nimz0nimz0.
  • SCP-2958 ("Marooned") - Talk about getting stuck in traffic. Written by PentonPenton.
  • SCP-2863 ("がしゃどくろ") - Just when you thought Japan couldn't get crazier, they tried weaponizing giant skeletons. Conjured by Dr SoloDr Solo.
  • SCP-2396 ("Ms. Sweetie") - Meet Ms. Sweetie, the newest Little Missus from Doctor Wondertainment! Purchased by kinchtheknifebladekinchtheknifeblade.
  • SCP-2338 ("An Unorthodox Adoption") - Just some cute kids in Halloween costumes! Definitely nothing more to it than that. Adopted by RimpleRimple.
  • SCP-SPOOKY-J ("A Veteran Of The Skeleton War") - TIME TO SPOOK THESE FUCCBOIS. Dug up by SpookyBee does not match any existing user name.

Tales:

Fandom Stuff

What's been going on in the community aside from our site? Well…

  • Has there been stuff in the fandom that I keep missing? Still could not find anything for either month. If you know of something, please let me know, and I dearly apologize for missing it!

Fanart

Art from September
  • Daily-SCP has, true to his name, been creating fan art of one SCP every day for more than two years! Check it out!
Art from October

Thanks for tuning in again, folks! If you're unsatisfied with the blurb(s) provided for the article(s) you wrote, feel free to change it. Of course, if you write an article and it sticks, please send A Random DayA Random Day or rumetzenrumetzen a blurb for your article. We may or may not use it (if we can think of something more attention-getting, though we can try to stick with one you give us) but we'd really would just like them in order to make the process easier for making these. This is a community thing, and I want authors to give their blurbs to sell these articles much easier. It reduces the workload we have to do, and helps the news come out that much earlier!

Thank you all for continuing to be an excellent community <3

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