News for July/August 2016

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Welcome to this installment of site news, where I GOT TWO VERSIONS, I GOT TWOOO VERSIONS

Ahem.

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

On-Site News

Featured Articles

  • The featured articles for this month are SCP-2031 ("Ant farm") by sandrewswannsandrewswann and SCUTTLE by pxdnbluesoulpxdnbluesoul. One's about… SHIT. ANTS! And the other is about a system going oh so wrong. Check them out!
  • The featured articles from last month were SCP-1567 ("The Dunne of Gallen") by MusukoMusuko and Learning the Alphabet Hub by TwistedGearsTwistedGears, KalininKalinin, and djkaktusdjkaktus. One's about a mysterious train that's haunted a village for centuries, and the other's about the varied misadventures of a pair of globe-trotting anartists. Check them out!
  • The featured articles from July were SCP-2814 ("Heretic of the Torch") by AnboroughAnborough and Wanderer Symbols by toadking07toadking07. One's about a mask that gives its wielder the power of a false god, and the other is about secret symbols used by the Wanderer's Library. Check them out!

Event-Featured Articles

July:
  • July 3rd was Last Day of Shark Week! Part man, part fish, all business, the Turbo Shark Pulverizer 6000 will stop at nothing to punch sharks. Because he can only punch sharks. He's not that impressive otherwise. GargusGargus brings us this unholy beast. For shark-punching!
  • July 29th was International Tiger Day! Don't be fooled; this may just look like an ordinary kitten, but it's actually a vicious tiger. Oh, and it looks hungry. So much for that harmless kitten look after all. Thanks, Alias Pseudonym does not match any existing user name, for instilling that seed of doubt in our heads.
  • July 30th was International Day of Friendship! Friendships build bridges between people, whether you see their faces often or not often at all. Take a moment to think of your friends, both old and new, and visit SCP-1252 (A Half-Formed Idea) by SoullessSingularitySoullessSingularity.
August:
  • August 15th was Happy National Relaxation Day! A chance to take a moment today to breathe deeply, reflect on what makes you happy, and maybe share a cup of tea on a tropical island with SCP-2255 ("The Most Interesting Rainstorm in the World") by ZynZyn.
  • August 21st was World Fashion Day! Celebrate the art of fashion today! SCP-2353 ("The Mannequin That Will No Longer Put Up With This Shit, Honestly") by SoullessSingularitySoullessSingularity certainly has a few things to say about the topic.
  • August 22nd was National Eat a Peach Day! For those of us saying goodbye to those fleeting days of summer, take a moment to appreciate the sunshine. Perhaps have a peach or two… just not one from this California Field, ChubertChubert tells us.

Rest of the News

Missing out on articles? Enjoy a recap on the articles from the past month two months. July's are under one collapsible and done by me, August's are under the second and done by A Random Day and rumetzen. Be sure to shed a tear for those of us who have to go back to school. Enjoy!

July

Week of July 1st

Snow hal-μ-ations for all of you penguin lovers looking for a nice place to stay during your honeymoon!

SCPs

  • SCP-2720 ("Penguin Honeymoon Suite") - Looking for a place for you and your beloved to stay at? Want a place with some fish and crabs for chow? Are you and your beloved also a penguin? We have a place for you. Run by MrWrongMrWrong.
  • SCP-2966 ("InfiniTP") - All the toilet paper in the world couldn't clean up the boom that this innocent-looking anomaly could create. Written by WWIflyingaceWWIflyingace.
  • SCP-2365 ("The universe is trying to tell you that it hates you") - Be careful when you sleep; if you wake up during a particularly nasty nightmare, you could end up in a permanent, real one altogether. Designed by psulpsul.
  • SCP-2545 ("The Gummy Barrel") - How could you not love more and more gummy bears? Infinite gummy bears! Written by MeerschaumMeerschaum.
  • SCP-2827 ("Probably a Lobster") - Who knows what this fickle thing is? Maybe human. Surely not a dog? Eh, maybe it tastes good with butter. Written by daveyoufooldaveyoufool.
  • SCP-2945 ("USB ██.0") - Stick this cute little gadget into anywhere with a USB port and you can experience all the cool abilities that come with it! Charge up your energy, play music out of your ears, and all sorts of cool exciting effects! Written by CardiovoreCardiovore.
  • SCP-2259 ("Survival of the Foetest") - Well, they're not fish, but these fetuses are the next best thing to pets, right? Written by DrEverettMannDrEverettMann.
  • SCP-2356 ("Skylar's Wand") - A half-finished gift for a little boy with little time left. Written by Dr RignarosDr Rignaros and ZynZyn.
  • SCP-2498 ("The Big Storm of '78") - In the shadow of the rain a town grows, its inhabitants thirsting for oblivion. Precipitated by Doc Expletive does not match any existing user name.

Tales

Week of July 8th

I feel pretty glad that we only have fandoms on Earth. Hopefully?

SCPs

  • SCP-2721 ("Eli and Lyris") - It's the little things in life that matter. Friends, drawing art, and shared interest are strong bonds to keep you happy and motivated, especially when it's the only barrier to destroying Earth. Written by DolphinSlugchuggerDolphinSlugchugger and kinchtheknifebladekinchtheknifeblade.
  • SCP-2268 ("Loaf Page") - Late for college exams? Need to study that online essay? Eat some brain food, like bread! Prebreaded by SpectralDragonSpectralDragon.
  • SCP-2588 ("The Collective Consciousness of Arthur H. Jones") - Arthur Harold Jones is sick of living because he got too scared to die. His main issue is his consciousness spread out throughout multiple people around the world. Written by weizhongweizhong.
  • SCP-2529 ("Rest in Peace") - Electronics whisper. The dead do not speak. And shadows shift from behind the veil, bearing faces. Transmitted by KalininKalinin.
  • SCP-2680 ("The Gorillas Simply Freeze to Death") - It's hard enough to combat an anomaly when it affects a large chunk of the population. It's even worse when your containment has to be dictated by the public and the gang you're working with. Written by A Random DayA Random Day.

Tales

  • Rabbit Hole In Time Lapse - Lilibeth feels that the time to take action is near as she prepares to fully escape 2508s influence for good. Written by EekiumEekium.
  • Eta-5 and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Oragamizilla - Mobile Task Force Eta-5 partakes in kaiju fighting, and that's their fucking job. Better them than the GOC at least. Written by ShaggydredlocksShaggydredlocks.
  • His Name - When he wakes up amnesticized and bloody, and the alarms go off, a sinking feeling settles in his stomach. Nothing good can come out of this. Written by CirclesAndSquaresCirclesAndSquares.

Misc.

Week of July 15th

NARF

SCPs

  • SCP-2368 ("Across the Water") - Far away, beyond the sea, a mother with the face of a woman sits in a cell, alone… As told by psulpsul.
  • SCP-2935 ("O, Death") - I'll close your eyes so you cant see / This very hour come and go with me / Death I come to take the soul / Leave the body and leave it cold. Written by djkaktusdjkaktus.
  • SCP-5150-J ("Think Of The Children") - This is absolutely obscene. We should not let our children near this monstrosity. It could turn them onto Satan's charms and make them gay, or even have a fascination with video games! This hedonist device was brought to attention by the ever vigilant daveyoufooldaveyoufool.
  • SCP-2375 ("We're All The Same Down Here") - Happiness is the gift that keeps on giving, no side-effects. Well, there's a slight exchange; the sadness needs to be removed somehow. But it's nothing compared to how fresh life will feel. Written by TheCriticalFrogTheCriticalFrog.
  • SCP-2939 ("“BIG NARF”") - UPCOMING EVENT AT EASTWOOD HIGH POETRY SLAM. BIG NARF AS MC. EVENT STARTS AT 10:00 P.M.. Written by Kate McTirissKate McTiriss.
  • SCP-2855 ("Mr. Money") - He's everything you could possibly ask for, guaranteed. Dr. Wondertainment's Mr. Money, coming to a store near you. Written by TyGentlyTyGently.

Tales

GoI Formats

  • LTE-2712-Bosch - Giant, dangerous wolf teeth appear from underneath the water. Thankfully, the group that best knows how to deal with it finds out and formulates a plan: the Global Occult Coalition. Written by ShaggydredlocksShaggydredlocks

Week of July 22nd - 31st

Between horses with hands and a temporal-fucking airplane, we have you all squared away on your surrealist needs this week.

SCPs

  • SCP-2619 ("The Mocking Birds") - This bird can be whatever you want it to be… provided that whatever you want it to be is a bird. Written by Mf99kMf99k.
  • SCP-2494 ("Soft Hands") - These animals love their Soft Hands™ and their ability to use them! Learn all about this handy trick from TL333sTL333s!
  • SCP-2728 ("On the Barcelona Skyline") - Office jobs. Always mindless and mundane. Not even the sky can provide any color for you. Written by DarkStuffDarkStuff.
  • SCP-2254 ("A Concrete-Lined Dreamboat") - William E. Boeing has somehow managed to fuck up, and the Foundation can't make heads or tails of it or how to fix it. What a nightmare! Written by JekeledJekeled.
  • SCP-2835 ("Constructive Criticism") - Paddy's fallen on some hard times, and his cartoons just aren't what they used to be. Just throw him an ice cream cone, will ya? No need to insult his work. Written by daveyoufooldaveyoufool.
  • SCP-2355 ("'They Grow up so Fast'") - Honey? Yeah, uh. I know you're busy and all, but something's wrong with our baby. Do we have an uncle Jack? Written by TooManyMusketsTooManyMuskets.
  • SCP-2757 ("Dr. Wondertainment's Projector Fantastico™") - Injuries sustained during SCP-2757's active effect, even normally severe ones, are easily recovered from (e.g. dismemberment is solved by reattaching the lost limb). It has been observed that during SCP-2757's active effect, there are frequent musical numbers. Written by shades2538shades2538.
  • SCP-2723 ("The Prophet's Tower") - The Scholar has brought ruin upon the denizens of Eden. He must be punished. Severely. Written by HotCocoaNerdHotCocoaNerd.
  • SCP-2329 ("…But Nobody's Home") - There should be people here, but there isn't. It feels like there's someone here… but why is nobody around? Written by gishfacegishface.

Tales

GoI Formats

Misc.

  • Austringers - Foundation agents and Rogue Anderson Robotics personnel unite in an attempt to capture Vincent Anderson. Espionage, Cyborgs, and Magic Abound. Written by Jacob ConwellJacob Conwell.

August

Week of August 1st

This episode of Site News is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

SCPs

  • SCP-404-J ("The Pantheon") - This is my first planet so no downvotes please! Crafted by daveyoufooldaveyoufool.
  • SCP-2886 ("Planet-Hopping Volcano") - Volcanoes can't teleport. This one didn't get the message. Written by MultiscoopMultiscoop.
  • SCP-012-J ("Special Comedy Procedures") - Containment breaches are a dozen laughs a minute!. Filmed by DomeAcolyteDomeAcolyte.
  • SCP-2618 ("This Is How Confidentiality Works, Right?") - With enough of them arranged correctly, they can create small, wormholeish things. Well, not really like wormholes I guess, not gravity. I think people call them gopherholes, since you can go wherever, like….a gopher I guess. Written by Mf99kMf99k.
  • SCP-2278 ("Mimetic Entity") - You know what's creepier than mimes? Mimes that aren't actually mimes… mimicked by ShaggydredlocksShaggydredlocks.
  • SCP-2551 ("I could've sworn I just saw…") - There's something different about him. He looks the same, but he clearly isn't… viewed by WingpieWingpie.

Tales

Authors' Pages

Week of August 8th

Authors tag team to tackle terrifying temples.

SCPs

  • SCP-2688 ("Enammu") - The children are born monsters. The Foundation and ORIA clash for control. The ziggurat holds the key. Built by CyclopianCyclopian.

Tales

GOI Formats

MEMORANDUM 321 REGARDING PROJECT 707 - The Foundation might have control of E-NAMMU, but the ORIA isn't going down without a fight. Written by MrWrongMrWrong.

Week of August 15th

This week, your fast food is a little cleaner than usual.

SCPs

  • SCP-2261 ("In the Name of the Law") - You can't hide from the anomalously long arm of the law. Arrested by PentonPenton.
  • SCP-2640 (""Tcao Time" [sic] (Not a Registered Traedmark [sic])") - If you knew what the damn thing was used for, you'd want your frontal lobes bleached too. Cleaned by JekeledJekeled.
  • SCP-2644 ("LostPerson") - It's like my life is just little pieces from everyone else's life. Every day, I have to ask strangers who I am, and they never understand that I am a stranger in the skin of someone close to them. Written by Mf99kMf99k.
  • SCP-2432 ("Room Service") - We arrived at our hotel room yesterday tomorrow before unpacking our our deaths. The lovely television was full of truths and horrors. We ascended quickly. Another great stay in this fabulous hotel! LordStonefishLordStonefish highly recommends.

Tales

Authors' Pages

Misc.

Week of August 22nd - 31st

Thought the last few weeks were kind of slow? Here's an absolute deluge of SCPs, Tales, Hubs, and Author Pages to make up for it!

SCPs

  • SCP-2180 ("The Living Cave Painting") - Paint samples taken from SCP-2180 have no known anomalous properties. Uranium-series dating of SCP-2180 suggests that the painting is 2.5 billion years old, predating any known human civilization. Painted by NatVoltaicNatVoltaic.
  • SCP-2276 ("Too many GRACE") - Where did they come from? How did they get there? Who made them? And what are they doing? Spying for the Foundation, of course. Written by AJMansfieldAJMansfield.
  • SCP-2342 ("Discordianisme Syncrétiste") - VERY memetic religion injecting artwork diretcly into brain. Hallucinated by RandominiRandomini.
  • SCP-2411 ("Internal Affairs") - If one of them had used this…well, I’d hate to think of a world without a Foundation. Written by ErazmErazm.
  • SCP-1831 ("Mr. Shapey") - This isn't your grandmother's Little Mister. This bad boy extends all the way into the TENTH DIMENSIONTM! Written by JekeledJekeled.
  • SCP-2747 ("As below, so above") - It inverts around itself. It is alien. It is antagonistic. It is all-consuming. It is not real. Written by minminminmin.
  • SCP-2566 ("Evermore") - Because an immortal can hold a grudge for a long fucking time. Avenged by ShaggydredlocksShaggydredlocks.

Tales

  • The Fountain of Lamneth - Kanako instinctively recoils from the toxic-waste-green mental minefield, but the main thought on her mind is the fact that the Elder God of Stallman is still thrashing about trying to get that directory. That suggests quite a hell of a lot about where the Unix cacodemon came from and what it's trying to do. Pushed by TaffetaTaffeta.
  • In Search of Lost Antigo - I've been to Lost Antigo, my friend. I bought a map off an old Spaniard that led me there. The damned place is cursed. Whatever's there isn't worth your life. - Traced by SmaptiSmapti.
  • Not to Disappear - 2 - In the sequel to Not to Disappear, Hannah and Isa return to Beatrice's old home to search for clues - but they get more than they bargained for. Written by minminminmin.
  • The Diary of Captain Henry Hughes MCCLVII, Captain of the H.M.S Sprint - Page 1 - This sky, a barrier of white and gray plumes, interspersed with blue dots. This land, strange shapes and objects, huge in scale, permanently soaked in cool light. His creations are unbelievable. Our Father has more power than we could ever imagine. Written by SwaghettiSwaghetti.
  • Forgiveness - In the ninth part of the twisted saga of Harold Maine, Helen and Dimitri struggle with their partnership in the aftermath of Angela's death.
  • Amnestic - "I pour my coffee/I press the button/She begs for death" Eventually all our stories die and become twisted. Composed by LordStonefishLordStonefish.
  • Operation LLEWYN DARK - When a medical satellite psychically linked to hundreds of people is invaded by demons, Prometheus Labs must work together with the Foundation and GOC to perform the world's first exorcism in outer space. Written by TaffetaTaffeta.

Authors' Pages

Misc.

Fandom Stuff

What's been going on in the community aside from our site? Well…

  • Has there been stuff in the fandom that I keep missing? Still could not find anything for either month. If you know of something, please let me know, and I dearly apologize for missing it! Stranger Things does not count.
  • That said, there is one neat and notable thing I found. Starcon in Russia had a whole bunch of SCP Foundation cosplayers! Check them out on Blackbird's blog here, here, and here!

Fanart

Art from July:
  • To start things off nice and simple, how about a crushing photoset of Bright's family? Thank you to 飛鳥 for those feels.
  • And how about a really amazing ad of Dr. Wondertainment's Ontological 6-Balls? I've featured I Scream Maker here before I believe, but their art is always rad, and this is a super awesome ad, so check it out here!
  • We all know and love Documents Recovered from the Marianas Trench. Now imagine that in mini-comic form! This comes to us cortusey of Fukumen55.
  • I love odd art styles, especially when they compliment the subject. This sparse drawing of SCP-469 suits it very well I think, and it's brought to you by Skippercifer!
  • The French branch of ours is wonderful and teeming full of lore. In particular, a 60-tale+ long canon called After Aleph! Here are some graphic design posters of this canon, from http://psychologist-frog.tumblr.com/ Dr. Frog]. Go check it out and give them some love!
  • And finally, because why not, 682 pinata brought to you by the good Dr. Wondertainment.
Art from August:
  • Kicking off August, I present to you one of many cool fanarts I frequently find of SCP-2521. Both cute and terrifying! Thank you dansen!
  • And to fufill my 2521 quota (seriously guys, there's a lot), have this goofy one of a D-Class running away from 2521. It just wants to love u ;_; It comes from the wonderful Sumiwow!
  • Do you like video game-esque sprites of SCPs? Well, I'm here to scratch that specific itch of yours. My favorite of the bunch from the artist おもちゃ好き屋さん is this art of SCP-2317's containment procedures. How goofy! You can find a lot more on their profile.
  • For some reason, Osomatsu-san crossovers seem to be popular. Doesn't quite seem like something that'd mix, but I'm fine with it, especially if it brings us cute art like this 'un of Jyushimatsu and SCP-131! Thank you for this adorable art リッツ.
  • Everyone's favorite homicidal lizard is best when being ugly and angry, and that's exactly what we get with this from Wildragon. Baring its teeth and snarling at you… perfect!
  • Sinsekai has definitely been on here before, but it's been a while, so here are four cute, simple portraits of SCP-2559, 1183, CN-756, and 1689. Criminally underrated; check them out.
  • And to close out the art for this month, have some really neat and cute but still slightly off-putting art of SCP-2636, brought to us by KIBADORI_Rue. Aww, look at it!

Thanks for tuning in again, folks! If you write an article and it sticks, please send Decibelle, A Random Day, or rumetzen a blurb for your article. We may or may not use it (if we can think of something more attention-getting, though we can try to stick with one you give us) but we'd really would just like them in order to make the process easier for making these. In addition, this is a community thing, and I want authors to give their blurbs to sell these articles much easier. It reduces the workload I and the people helping me have to do, and helps the news come out that much earlier!

Thank you ARD and rumetzen for helping me out! I did the first half (plus intro + outro + fandom stuff), they did the second half.

Furthermore, I'd still like to know if anyone is interested in an art contest! I did get some good feedback last time, but would like more just to see if it's sustainable and viable. Thank you all for continuing to be an excellent community <3

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