News for March 2017

News Time Capsule

The dynamic nature of this wiki means that pages get moved, renamed, deleted, and replaced.
Wiki links on old news pages have been made non-functional as many no longer point to the same content. External links and forum links are unaffected.

Welcome to this installment of site news, where we celebrate "spring"!

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

On-Site News

Featured Articles

  • The featured articles for this month are SCP-2135 ("91st Street Station") by ObserverSeptember and Funerals are Fun by WrongJohnSilver. One's about a mysterious train station hidden under Manhattan, and the other's about how reality TV can prevent cicada infestations. Check them out!
  • The featured articles for March were SCP-2870 ("General Malaise") by Bryx and Four Seconds, Low Pitched by ksaid. One's about a literally diseased society, and the other's about trying to live normally in a town that's anything but. Check them out!

Event-Featured Articles

The theme for the month of March was indestructible!

  • In SCP-1683 ("Moonstruck Bedroom"), by Roget and Voct, a boy shot for the moon…
  • In SCP-1417 ("Swiss Army Banana"), by unreadierLizard, a man killed his neighbor with a banana…
  • And in SCP-1975 ("Vindictive Hula Girl"), by PeppersGhost, a jilted lover got her revenge…

Rest of the News

  • Be sure to complete the 2017 SCP Community Survey! It'll take less than five minutes and it'll help us make the SCP Wiki and our associated community groups even better places to be!
  • Congratulations to Dr Solo, LilyFlower, Joreth, Sirens, AbsentmindedNihilist, ChaoSera, Taffeta and Lazar Lyusternik for their promotions to Operational Staff!
  • Congratulations to Doctor Cimmerian, Jacob Conwell, Accelerando, and Vincent_Redgrave for their promotions to Moderator!
  • The SCP-3000 Contest is finally over!

Congratulations to
A Random Day | Joreth | djkaktus
for the winning entry:

Missing out on articles? Enjoy a recap on the articles from the past month. A Random Day did the blurbs for the first half of the month, and rumetzen did the blurbs for the second half.

Contest Articles

On April 20, the SCP-3000 contest concluded! Congratulations to Joreth, djkaktus, and A Random Day for winning first place; OZ Ouroboros for winning second place; and Jekeled for winning third place! Please note - Series IV is NOT open for articles yet! We still need to fill up Series III, so get to it! Series IV is open!

Week of March 1st:

Hail science!


  • SCP-2678 ("The Vorehole") - Become whole. Become a part of something greater. Become dinner. Written by Cyantreuse and djkaktus.
  • SCP-2634 ("A Higher Power") - Life exists in far stranger places than we can conceive of. And it is reaching out to us. Written by Dr Solo.
  • SCP-2891 ("Insta-Container!") - You can't stop the world from changing - but you can seal yourself away from it. Contained by BananaRepublic.
  • SCP-2546 ("A Retroviral Nightmare") - No more will Miss Sally remember them as her parents, but they will remember how you let her perish. Identified by DrBleep.
  • SCP-2541 (" Ecological Anomaly of Midassia") - And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so. Written by Moenennbys.


  • War Within a Breath - "Who shot four puppet governors in a line/Who shook all the world bankers who think they can rhyme/shot the landlords who knew it was mine/yes, it's a war from the depth of time." Written by rumetzen.
  • Former Assets - Marshall, Carter, and Dark are looking to make a deal with Herman Fuller. But that means spending a day at the most grotesque circus in the world… Attended by DrChandra.
  • Downvoted - As it turns out, the Foundation briefly contained Cthulhu… before he was deleted from their world for being a pop-culture reference. Translated by ashausesall.
  • rabbit here, rabbit there - There's something buried under San Jose, and it may have to do with the Mobile Task Force that keeps getting murdered. Written by Zmax15.

GoI Formats

  • A Wedding Gift for a Lady Mantis - For his wedding to the famed mantid craftswoman the Lady Zakuro, cloud-scorpion Grauen Wolke presented her with a guardian fish. Documented by Zyn.
  • P'rantortiz the Vile - The Black Queens can only watch in horror as the infamous demon knight P'rantortiz conquers all of the known universes - all except for one. Written by shaggydredlocks.


  • Holy Science - Come to the Autocephalous Mission of Moldova and work with Ezekiel Iepureanu, blending dark magicks and darker sciences to bring about the Second Coming. Written by Faminepulse.

Author's Pages

Week of March 8th:

Down here, everything is salt.


  • SCP-2831 ("The Forest Men of ███████") - Be the change you want to see in the world. Written by Sterbai.
  • SCP-5417-J ("The Deadly Nackle") - It's not healthy being around all this salt; it really lends itself to a toxic atmosphere. Written by Trennerdios.
  • SCP-2471 ("That's the way the cookie crumbles.") - Not everyone will have the same luck in life. But that's just the way the news goes. Eaten by WrongJohnSilver.
  • SCP-2643 ("A Remembered Pet") - When you mew things right, people won't be sure you've meowed anything at all. Written by Aaarrrgh.
  • SCP-285 ("A Hack Job") - Holy Heck! You've just found yourself your very own Mr. Hax by Gamers Against Weed! Always use Antimalware, kids. Who is this Fourchan? Written by BananaRepublic.


Author Pages

Week of March 15th:

The trap is set, and the hunter waits for his prey… but this is a bird of prey.


  • SCP-2497 ("Home for the CactusNights") - There's nothing better than having a joyous Christmas. So why have anything else? Written by DrBleep.
  • SCP-2734 ("Exodus of the Clowns") - Sometimes, all there is to do is laugh. Ha. Ha. Written by rockyred9.
  • SCP-2587 ("The Odd Family of Martha Fern") - Every scrap of flesh cut away will become another brother for you to love. Written by tomatointhemirror.
  • SCP-2561 ("Pet Radio Mast") - If you want to understand people's minds, first take a look at their television sets. Written by shouts.
  • SCP-2681 ("Animal Man") - Who needs real friends when you have mother nature to keep you company? Written by Midgard Serpent.


  • Adam's Worthless - Choose Yokim - When you find yourself on the edge of the void, all it takes is a single step to make things right. Written by Jack Ike.
  • Blind Date - Two lesser-known members of the Bright family sit down for a history lesson. Written by TheDuckman.
  • Big and Happy - Or, How to Destroy the Universe Through Positive Thinking. Written by daveyoufool.
  • Won't You Be My Neighbour - C'mon kids, Bobble can't do this without you! Why not show your parents who the REAL grown-ups are? Part of the Competitive Eschatology canon, and written by Loiterer87.
  • Wade Williams Distribution Presents: Do you know why we run towards the fear? Because we couldn't imagine life without it. Hosted by LordStonefish.
  • The Blackbird and the Falcon - After years of spent blood, sweat, and tears, Assistant Director Sasha Merlo leads a massive assault on Anderson Robotics with the support of the Unusual Incidents Unit. The stage is set. The players are in their places. Don't miss this exciting finale to the Anderson Robotics series, written by Jacob Conwell.

Author Pages

Week of March 22nd



  • SCP-2892 ("The Flying Dutchman ") - Tharr she blows you up. Written by CooCooCachoo.
  • SCP-2573 ("I ain’t never heard of no commy Fifthists or nothin'.") - You know, it's like I always say, when a shoggoth—excuse me, a tsürga-ouláth, the PC police will be after me if I throw words like "shoggoth" around—lays around the house, it really lays AROUND the HOUSE. Published by ch00bakka.
  • SCP-2743 ("Nadia") - Dance for me, ballerina. Dance so that the world can fear you. Choreographed by Moenennbys.



  • Jefferson Submarine - A story of war, inner demons, outer demons, romance, and the end of the world in Three Acts. Written by Agent MacLeod.

Fandom Stuff

  • A Random Day diligently scoured the web for all manner of fan art, but if he missed anything, let him or rumetzen know!


Thanks for tuning in again, folks! If you're unsatisfied with the blurb(s) provided for the article(s) you wrote, feel free to change it. Of course, you could just avoid that problem entirely by sending A Random Day or rumetzen a blurb for your article. We may or may not use it (if we can think of something more attention-getting, though we can try to stick with one you give us) but we'd really would just like them in order to make the process easier for making these. This is a community thing, and we want authors to give their blurbs to sell these articles much easier. It reduces the workload we have to do, and helps the news come out that much earlier!

Thank you all for continuing to be an excellent community <3

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License