News for January 2021

The dynamic nature of this wiki means that linked pages might get moved, renamed, deleted, or replaced. Old news pages remain as time capsules and are not updated to account for these changes.

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month1, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

Fandom Stuff

  • Second edition of the EXPUNGED magazine, an original SCP community newsletter spotlighting articles and fan content edited together by Rounderhouse, was published.

Featured Articles

  • SCP-5109 (by HarryBlank): The One-Time Password [Canon Renaissance contest prize feature, requested by 3rd Place Team: Resurrecting Resurrection]
    SCP-5109 must not be spoken. This restriction is waived in the event of an imminent threat to the life of its keeper…
  • SCP-5514 (by stormbreath, Ellie3, chiifu, and J Dune): The Dragonslayer [Canon Renaissance contest prize feature, requested by 2nd Place Team: Mikasa Junior]
    SCP-5514 is a massive humanoid mecha-like vehicle constructed by the Foundation, with assistance from the Global Occult Coalition.
  • SCP-4877 (by Captain Kirby): Good Airwaves [Canon Renaissance contest prize feature, requested by Captain Kirby]
    That's the sound of someone thinking with their head, instead of their internal dioxceline receptors.

Featured Tales

  • ...Like Clockwork Hub by multiple contributors [Canon Renaissance contest prize feature, requested by Tufto]
    Eventually, the answer will come for why things are the way they are.

Reviewer's Spotlight Articles

  • SCP-4333 (The Profligate) by CadaverCommanderCadaverCommander, selected by TheAlienBabyTheAlienBaby
    SCP-4333's behavior is distinguished by its primary anomalous property, which allows it to spontaneously manifest currency.
  • SCP-5699 (Take Care of Yourself.) by Amelia WrightAmelia Wright, selected by NagirosNagiros
    As such, the O5 Council have ruled that SCP-5699 does not require active containment.
  • SCP-5266 (IDIOT SUCCUMBS TO NEUROTOXIN WHILE LISTENING TO MACHO MAN CLICK NOW TO SEE) by IAmTheOogaIAmTheOoga, selected by QuadragintaQuadraginta
    Object Class: Keter
  • SCP-5178 (Eat The Sun with Seth Uhar) by DecoyMesaDecoyMesa, selected by RockTeethMothEyesRockTeethMothEyes
    “The sun…the sun…is the only guaranteed death waiting for you…if you continue to stall…”
  • Off the Road, Off the Rails by Ihp does not match any existing user name, selected by Grigori KarpinGrigori Karpin
    "Don't have time for this," he grumbled. "Putting up with some hick cop who has a Punisher bumper sticker and a chip on his shoulder…"
  • SCP-4240 (The Roundabout Game) by TanhonyTanhony, selected by EthanHansonEthanHanson
    “Don't leave the loop before you win! Don't go back through a door you've just gone through!”
  • SCP-5751 (The Last Word) by HarryBlankHarryBlank, selected by SonderanceSonderance
    SCP-5751 is the phenomenon of additional items appearing in collections of disc-based storage media after their owner's death.

You will notice little '📈' emojis beside some articles. That denotes SCP articles which were under 30 and tales which were under 20 when this edition of site news was posted. Give them a little love! Speaking from personal experience, the most frustrating thing that can happen to an article is not deletion, but stagnating below 20 without any comments. So try to read, vote, and comment on these articles! They're often hidden gems :)

Week of January 1st:

SCPs

  • SCP-5965 ("Impact.") - it hurts send help. Crash provoked by DysadronDysadron.
  • SCP-5607 ("Urine too Deep") - Even Sum 41 couldn't see this happening. Written by DrAkimotoDrAkimoto.
  • SCP-5623 ("Star Euthanizer") - Because the right to die with dignity is not limited to humans. Written by Sirslash47Sirslash47.
  • SCP-5655 ("Exactly the Kind of Genie You'd Expect To Find in an Empty Can of Spam") - Magic lamps are expensive, these days. Home bought with help of AnActualCrowAnActualCrow.
  • SCP-5881 ("Nothing Like You") - Nothing compares to you. If Prince said it, you can trust that. Written by R4_EXR4_EX.
  • 📈SCP-5692 ("Illegal Aliens") - They don't hide because they plan an invasion. They hide because they don't want to come back in their planet. Written by TrombusTrombus.

Tales

  • 📈Learn To Live - "The Foundation is a bureaucracy, Miss Wilson. Learn to live in it." Written by Ellie3Ellie3.
  • SCP-5057 Additional Documentation - "I am sorry. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did. That wasn't very friend-like of me and I sincerely hope you're being treated better wherever you are now." Written by Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini.
  • 📈DISRUPTION - "We apologize for the inconvenience." Written by UraniumEmpireUraniumEmpire.
  • Who Framed Ralph Roget? - "I'm not a traitor. And my name is Theodore." Written by HarryBlankHarryBlank.
  • 📈Well Duty - "The Foundation sure does love to choose the worst time to investigate a legend." Written by BlueJonesBlueJones.
  • 📈The Drooling Path: Part 3 - "What is the deal with 710?" Written by KothardarastrixKothardarastrix.
  • 📈Out of Frame - "The remains of Joseph Goldman bled out on the concrete floor, several bullets having passed through his torso and embedded in the boxes behind him." Written by Jacob ConwellJacob Conwell.
  • 📈A Story From a Future - "The ongoing 'Extrauniversal Mass Interaction Event' has affected us all. We all need to do our part to keep our community, and humanity as a whole, safe." Written by Doggol does not match any existing user name.
  • 📈A Mekhanite Comes Home - "Mark's been starting shit with the townsfolk. Said that he's out there in the swamp with the Gatormen" Written by Marcelles_Raynes does not match any existing user name.
  • Halfway Found, Halfway Lost - "The everpresent blue light started to glow much stronger - the feeling of nausea and weakness threw the duo off, making them back off a little." Written by RallistonRalliston.
  • 📈A Working Theory - "While the interdimensional tunnel generator was brought to a different room to run the same tests again, MacWarren was staring at the hunks of data the last tests had generated." Written by EthagonEthagon.
  • Georgian Gothic - "I guess she's not so mundane after all." Written by HarryBlankHarryBlank.
  • Character Development - "Why are we even doing this? If you know who the moles are, detain them." Written by HarryBlankHarryBlank.

GoI Formats

  • 📈SC-11/11-1/i - [Chaos Insurgency] "“Insurgency” is the politically correct term for resisting known blindness after seeing the light." Written by pixelatedharmony does not match any existing user name.
  • 📈Project Proposal: 2024-001 - [Are We Cool Yet?] "If you're reading this, please handle critique better." Written by Marcelles_Raynes does not match any existing user name.

Misc

Week of January 8th:

SCPs

  • ROUNDERHOUSE'S Proposal- If you replace the "Senior" in "Senior Staff" by "Secret", it would still be accurate. Discovered by RounderhouseRounderhouse.
  • 📈SCP-3873 ("Unbearable Treatment") - No additionnal pun needed, it's already here. Written by Marcelles_Raynes does not match any existing user name.
  • SCP-5713 ("the holy profit") - the same profit that makes you write in all lowercase which is pretty cool. Money accumulated by Mooagain Mooagain .
  • 📈SCP-5172 ("North American Hotel Ice Machines (Zalmunna and Zebah).") - Prometheus made miracles again, it seems. Written by ErazmErazm.
  • SCP-5226 ("Posthumous Postproduction™ by Westhead Records™ (A wholly-owned subsidiary of Westhead Media™)") - The new action-thrilled™ movie™ that will knock you out™ and warm™ your heart™ like nothing else™ before! Directed™ by RounderhouseRounderhouse™.
  • 📈SCP-5435 ("If I could burn this town I wouldn't hesitate") - And so, I did. Burned by Brewsterion 1017Brewsterion 1017.
  • SCP-5197 ("Department of Frontier Development") - The world… the world never cease to expand. Written by Attila the PunAttila the Pun.

Tales

  • Ad Absentia - "That night in bed he told me that one day he might not return." Written by Maxonymous Maxonymous .
  • 📈Old Connections - "My thrice-startled heart raced laps in my chest, threatening to reach escape velocity and pop out. I closed my eyes, and tried to center myself again." Written by DarkStuffDarkStuff.
  • 📈And The Cab Passed At Nine - "I had my pistol on me, a 9 inch Colt that I bought when I first arrived in this dust-covered hellhole." Written by Penguin6Penguin6.
  • The Mekhanics of La Rue Part Two - "So what your saying is that these 'Gatorpeople' are actually alligators from over several hundred miles that magically appeared over here, yes?" Written by BlueJonesBlueJones.
  • The Moloch Mentality - "Day Trippers requesting permission to land." Written by HarryBlankHarryBlank.

Misc

Week of January 15th:

SCPs

  • SCP-5953 ("Critique of the Marine Mammal Program") - A manifesto of 250 pages. Written by stormbreathstormbreath.
  • SCP-5647 ("Chronos") - He was tired of seeing all those anomalies who can control time not giving him credit, so he came back. Invoked by Tracque_Tracque_.
  • SCP-5686 ("Thanks, I'm Cured.") - 049 is infinitely pleased to see that he was right since the beginning. Written by DarkStuffDarkStuff.
  • SCP-5148 ("Qlippoth") - Bless you. Written by Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini.
  • SCP-5267 ("Golems of the Eastern Steppe") - Daeva necromancy and the pursuit of personal liberation. Written by Grigori KarpinGrigori Karpin.

Tales

  • Bill Reviews: The Bird Is The Word - "How could one not be inspired to do the one thing they perfected? Surely, if I had not enjoyed my position as a reviewer, I simply would not choose to review." Written by YellowISlolYellowISlol.
  • 📈The Body and Blood - "The Host enters the Hall, carried if needed by a D-Caste. They hold the Hammer of Asheworth the Martyr in their hands, presenting it to the Doctor." Written by TrotskyeetTrotskyeet.
  • 📈Deceiver of the Fair - "I will not let you hold this unless you give me something in return" Written by VivariumVivarium.
  • The Word Serpent - "It's humid and warm and the air is buzzing with mosquitos. A typical nighttime in Florida." Written by QuadragintaQuadraginta.
  • 📈Meanwhile, in Australia - "I've got a meme for every occasion. I can make you freeze in place — just like Rask did — or fall asleep, I can make you forget things, I can make you remember things, I can make you remember things and then forget things, or…" Written by HarryBlankHarryBlank.
  • Exierunt ut Vinceret - "He couldn't follow it. Even with years of training, there was no way he could have even come close to matching the ancient Karcist's speed." Written by MalyceGravesMalyceGraves.

Misc

Week of January 22nd:

SCPs

  • 📈SCP-5161 ("She Remembers") - She knows. And I know she knows. Written by Dr LeonardDr Leonard.
  • SCP-5889 ("AMnestic") - Take a journey into the weird world of backwoods radio broadcasts, and have an existential nightmare as you do. Written by Grigori KarpinGrigori Karpin & DysadronDysadron.
  • SCP-5795 ("High Court") - This trial will probably be a normal one. Written by RallistonRalliston.
  • 📈SCP-5390 ("Do You Want A Tamale?") - And not the one that Tyler, the Creator made. Cooked by EthanHansonEthanHanson.
  • 📈SCP-5188 ("Fronglyfoot Street") - At our knowledge, no race of aliens or fluffy monsters named "Fronglyfoots" have been discovered. Yet. Written by daveyoufooldaveyoufool.
  • SCP-5442 ("A Broken Branch of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives") - alcohol not good trust the man. written by Ihp does not match any existing user name yes indeed.
  • SCP-5133 ("Fruit Frogs") - An approriate alliterative title for tasty batracians. Not cooked by WickedMiracle WickedMiracle and ZynZyn.
  • 📈SCP-5496 ("Cows melt when exposed to thunder") - And here's a proof of this! Experiments conducted by Marcelles_Raynes does not match any existing user name.
  • SCP-5803 ("One More Song") - And this last one is the true "Best Song Ever", we promise. Written by VivariumVivarium.
  • SCP-4273 ("Designated Successor") - "Honey, I'm home" with a side of Armageddon. Written by MalyceGravesMalyceGraves.

Tales

  • 📈The Green Machine - "You won't be meeting him at all. Two days after your Dr. Sokolsky finalized the candidate list, our assistant research director — the password candidate — was sent away to detention." Written by HarryBlankHarryBlank.
  • 📈Spreadsheets & Railcars - "Attaboy. Now get back to work." Written by pixelatedharmony does not match any existing user name.
  • If You Don't Know the Words - "♪ Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring; banana phone! ♪" Written by HarryBlankHarryBlank.
  • 📈Transgender Dysphoria Blues - "Yes. I’ve thought about it for a long time, but now’s the time. I’ve done so much for so long… this might be my last shot to make up time with everyone." Written by pixelatedharmony does not match any existing user name.
  • 📈Activity Documentation File 33-N "Red Insurgency" - "Any Agent who believes they have encountered a member of the Red Insurgency is to consult a Foundation political agent for confirmation, or a member of their task force command structure apparatus if one is not available." Written by pixelatedharmony does not match any existing user name.
  • 📈Love in the Abyss - "The two had been across the towers of the northern wastes. Lost in each other's shadow and withered heart." Written by Amelia WrightAmelia Wright.
  • 📈Not My Sloths, Not My Pit - "He awoke in a strange place. A strange, yet somehow familiar place. The thread count on his bedsheets was wrong." Written by HarryBlankHarryBlank.
  • Upwelling - "I was a trucker once. I used to do eighteen hour stints down the Interstate 10, not that I have much to show for it." Written by ValidClayValidClay.
  • 📈The Death of an Arcadian - "Ted Landa's sweaty hands struggled to keep a grip on the pistol. His index finger jittered up-and-down over the trigger, nervous to do the deed." Written by FluffyDog00FluffyDog00.
  • Killing In The Name Of - "I’ve been hearing reports of a particularly bizarre series of murder victims found in the swamp." Written by Grigori KarpinGrigori Karpin.
  • 📈Out of Character, Out of Body - "whoah guys update coming to you from opioid country Missouri. i just found this thread and holy shit it describes what happened back in august" Written by Ihp does not match any existing user name.
  • 📈Everyday Life With An Extraterrestrial Girl - "Your girlfriend will look like a human, feel like a human, smell - okay probably still smell like an extraterrestrial - but biologically she's not human. I didn't feel like thinking that far ahead." Written by Einer von RabeEiner von Rabe.

GoI Format

  • 📈WANs_Image.png - [Church of the Broken God] "2: Go forth, to the Source and rend the FLESH from your body and become one with the Broken Men. You will become closer to ME, and be Standardized." Written by Marcelles_Raynes does not match any existing user name.
  • Critter Profile: Clara! - [Wilson's Wildlife Solutions] "Whenever the Supervisors get involved, things tend to start happening. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they'll know how to help her." Written by SebarusSebarus.
  • 📈SC-33/33-3-KR, Initial Report on so-called “Kondraki Pütsch” - [Chaos Insurgency] "Dr. Kondraki has not been seen in public for at least two weeks, and it’s not expected that he’ll be seen by anyone any longer." Written by pixelatedharmony does not match any existing user name.

Misc

Staff Spotlight

January spotlight: Community Outreach: Contests
Featuring: ProcyonLotorProcyonLotor
Interviewer: WhiteGuardWhiteGuard


1. Hello there, Procyonlotor! How about we start with what exactly the Contests subteam of Community Outreach specifically does?

The Contests Subteam, probably unsurprisingly, helps incubate and run contests for the greater wiki. In truth, it's not really a "subteam" in the way that Community Outreach (or indeed, other teams') subteams are, as it has little permanent structure beyond the two captains of Community Outreach, currently myself and taylor_itkin. But our basic duties are coming up with, scheduling, running, and closing contests. Anything to do with an official contest is in our wheelhouse.

2. What does the average day of being a member of this subteam look like whenever a contest is being run?

Honestly? Day to day, it's an extremely low-stress position, with little to do other than wait and watch. But that comes at the cost of it being extremely stressful when it does arrive. Putting pages together, announcing winners, and investigating irregularities are all very unpleasant tasks that occur under tight (if sometimes self-imposed) deadlines. I've learned how to make it all easier on myself and the subteam during my time on the job, but it can still be really exhausting! But luckily, seeing your work in the background result in stellar new pieces being posted to the wiki makes it all extremely worth it.

3. You are a Captain of Community Outreach. What is it about this team and specifically about the Contests subteam that appeals to you?

Perhaps surprisingly, I actually kind of bumbled my way into Captaincy. When Decibelles retired from her captaincy, she felt that (my former co-captain) ARD and I were the only people who were on the team who were able to take up the mantle. Neither of us had been particularly active on the team beforehand, but I like to think we took up the mantle well.
I chose contests for what will likely seem a strange reason: I hated them. I felt with the way they had traditionally been run, with all respect to my predecessors, it encouraged a strain of toxicity among competitors and led to large increases of drama. My goal in taking over Contests was to stop this from happening. And while I'd be lying if I said contests were a drama-free affair even now, I hope that people feel far more positively about them now than when I took over the position.

4. Breaking away from the staff-side of things, what is a work on the site that you have recently read that you enjoyed and what was done right with it?

It will likely be a somewhat non-traditional choice, but one of my favorite traditions on the wiki has been the Gearsday Creepypasta collections, and this year's was no exception. It was actually Gears' creepypasta that made me stick around the site, nearly a decade ago (goddamn!), and I've always had a soft spot for the genre when done well. And our site members always do it well.

5. You have been a member of staff for 7 years now. That is a long time, buddy. What has kept you around?

It's not necessarily any one thing in particular, and it's different things at different times. Sometimes it's the quality of work on the wiki, and the pride I feel in playing a part in ensuring it remains accessible to those who want to read it. Sometimes it's my friends in the community. Sometimes it's the fact I really, really, really want to make a change in policy. Sometimes it's just inertia. And sometimes, I just like having something meaningful to do when I get up in the morning. A lot of times, it's all of those things.

Fanart

Here you will find a selection of artists whose art output is worth following. The thumbnails are clickable.

DrDOBERMANN's ARTWORKS by DrdobermannDrdobermann

SCP-093dobermann1.jpgSCP-2669dobermann2.jpgSCP-5000dobermann3.jpg

The Blank Canvas, or Harry's So-Called Art Page by HarryBlankHarryBlank

Dougharry1.jpgSite-43 Staffharry2.jpgIf You Don't Know the Wordsharry3.png

JackalRelated's Art Page by JackalRelatedJackalRelated

Herman Fullerjackal1.jpgSignal for the Crack of Dawnjackal2.jpgArcadiajackal3.jpg




Q&A:

Q: Can I replace a blurb that you wrote for one of my articles with my own? I'm not satisfied with it.

A: Absolutely. You will always have that option at any point.

Q: I noticed an error/typo/incorrect information and wish to correct it. May I?

A: Sure! If the changes are not limited to your own article(s) and/or are substantial changes across multiple entries, you should post in that month's discussion page and then make the changes.

Q: I wrote an article and it seems to have stuck. Can I send a blurb of mine to one of the frequent collaborators?

A: Yup! It's much easier if you come to us about it, and it gives you the control over what you want shown on the news page.










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