News for January 2018

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Welcome to this installment of site news, where we look forward to another year of SCPs!

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month1, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

Featured Articles

  • The featured articles for January were SCP-1632 (Better Ring Xing) by Flying Spidersnake, Page 285 of the Guild Ledger by bleggs, and KoI Format by SpectralDragon. The first is about a divorce lawyer with a penchant for bringing couples together, the ſecond examineſs an ancient artefact of antiquity, and the third is a Serpents Hand-format written by a bunch of wet puppers!

Event Featured Articles

The theme for the month of January was reanimation!

  • In SCP-2838 (Stellar Reincarnation Column) by minmin, the night sky is alight with those who have shuffled off this mortal coil.
  • In SCP-1818 (Flying Rabbits) by Bunton, a series of hare-raising (it's okay to hate me) occurrences catches the Foundation's attention.
  • In SCP-1405 (A Large Prehistoric Sloth) by Kenji_and_co, witness the master of "playing opossum" in action!

Week of January 1st:

And here… we… go.

SCPs

  • SCP-3329 ("A Sucker Born Every Minute") - "The parade inside your mouth. Tell me more. How big is it, is it causing you any discomfort, and why are they having a pride parade at this time of year?" Written by DrChandra.
  • SCP-3618 ("Supply and Demand") - "Human spirit setting: 80%" Written by kemoT01.
  • SCP-3813 ("The Fall of Hyperion") - "…it is the doom of Rome; the last sound she will make will be a scream as she is broken in half by a monster that barely recognizes she is there at all…" Written by djkaktus, Doctor Cimmerian, Zhange and VolgunStrife .
  • SCP-3331 ("With Apologies To John Cena") - "SCP-3331-1 is a humanoid entity with the appearance and physical characteristics of American Professional Wrestler John Cena." Written by Mortos.
  • SCP-3930 ("The Pattern Screamer") - "SCP-3930 does not exist." Written by djkaktus.
  • SCP-3675 ("The Void Called") - "I see my mother and my father, the dead — the generations coming before, all extending up into an infinity of voices that sing…" Written by Modulum.
  • SCP-3860 ("The Falcon's Landing") - "If you could elevate yourself up above the normal human experience, and be a pioneer in that realm, wouldn't you strive to blaze that trail?" Written by Jacob Conwell.

Tales

  • Forgetting the Number of Dead Stars - "Anything was better than the alternative. Anything was better than forgetting all the things she had cut away at her memories to preserve. And if nothing else, this was what Wren was good at." Written by Pedantique.
  • The Man-Machine - "I can only assume that onlookers believed me to be his master - though if anything, the opposite was true." Written by A Random Day.
  • Roach Wrangling at Kiryu Labs - "“Rivs, we’re never letting Shen write any more of these. He is banned from making jokes. Agreed?”" Written by Zyn.
  • A Completed Chronicle - "I am bleeding into everything" Written by The Great Hippo.
  • Recovered Media: The Hard-Boiled Adventures of Murphy Law - "On 24/12/2017, a Foundation-operated bot (I/O-ISMETA) located a series of archived discussions pertaining to SCP-3143 across several defunct comic book enthusiast forums, totaling 49 posts." Written by Petrograd.
  • On the Slope of Olympus - "The newborn god who used to be D-822-46 floated out of the rift and down onto the mountainside, hovering above the crust of snow. She grew a pair of rabbit ears, swiveling them. Silence." Written by fieldstone.
  • Brökkën Güd - ""Well, we followed the manual, so why the hell are there six toes?"" Written by LilyFlower.
  • …And I'm the Star! - "However, one thing was clear and concisely communicated about him: he was extraordinarily motivated, and the circus adored 'extraordinary'." Written by DarkStuff.
  • Sic Semper Tyrannis - "Ion felt a brief moment of euphoria after the deed was done. Then there was pain." Written by Modern_Erasmus.
  • Herman Fuller Can Shove It Up His Ass - "That’s why I’m the boss and you’re a Freak I let out of the Den to intimidate people," Written by DrChandra.
  • Anderson the Alternative - "One of the androids finally got close enough, and suddenly exploded, releasing a great wave of light, which swept across the whole team." Written by SunnyClockwork.

Misc

Week of January 8th:

SCPs

  • SCP-3933 ("Bigger Than God") - "Do you ever wish we could go back to being nobodies? Just be able to walk down the street without getting mobbed?" Written by Mortos.
  • SCP-3410 (""It's just fucking golf!"") - "Mr. President. Dr. Justine Higginbottom here; Site 179 is standing by. What's the situation?" Written by mayoculpa.
  • SCP-3497 ("Backfiring Birds") - "SCP-3497 has a secondary anomalous property apparent when it releases an amount of mass over 1 gram while being tracked by a radar system. Outside of controlled testing, this most commonly occurs when SCP-3497 defecates" Written by ModernMajorGeneral.
  • SCP-3554 ("No. 4 Borscht Canning Factory") - "At what point does the mundane end and the anomalous begin?" Written by Lazar Lyusternik.
  • SCP-2786 ("The Archetype") - "make the suffering stop" Written by TheBillith.
  • SCP-3413 ("Irwin Shrugged") - "Thirty minutes after uploading a video to SCP-3413, any incorrect statement contained within the video will become true." Written by CleverlyClearly.

Tales

  • A History of Reaction - "As the authorities charge into the remains of the building, they discover both POI-1844 and René Valet semi-conscious in the wreckage. Both are shot in the head." Written by TyGently.
  • To my staff - "One of you will be chosen over the course of the next couple of weeks to take my place. It's like The Bachelor but with the worst job you will ever experience in your life." Written by thefriendlyvandal.
  • White - "The man smiled and let darkness consume him. His compass was enveloped by the white." Written by Varaxous.
  • Running Out - "Wordlessly, Dimaccio passed her a piece of paper. She unfolded it. It contained three words." Written by Mr Carbon.
  • Phoenix - "All of this, of course, could be forgiven if it were not for a new development - they know who you are, they know what you have done, and they are coming for you." Written by toastedraptor.
  • Live Now. Tomorrow, We Die. - "When Kit finally let him get close, Gabriel held his hands until the bleeding stopped; his fingers grazed the sore knuckles until Kit whined and pulled away." Written by Zachary Maxwell.
  • Public Static Void - "After about 6 months the artificial gravity failed, which provided a brief amusement, but pretty soon it was back to rolling, rolling, rolling onward." Written by MaliceAforethought.
  • Zeitgeist - "The year is 1989, and this is what Chicago spirit looks like." Written by A Random Day.
  • Twenty Minutes - "Would you believe twenty minutes? Would you believe twenty minutes to lose all your old self and come out new, like a butterfly from a cocoon?" Written by Zachary Maxwell.

GoI Formats

Week of January 15th:

SCPs

  • SCP-3311 ("All the Little Chairs") - "Fucking art, man. Fucking chairs." Written by TheBillith.
  • SCP-3622 ("Agile, Handle with Care") - "Additionally, you'll need to provide space for at least three Quaesturas™ key-men on site. Each will require the following dietary regimen, through a feeding tube." Written by DrMagnus.
  • SCP-3785 ("Jasper's Hill") - "Down the hill, a single humanoid figure slowly drags two other humanoid figures towards a series of nooses." Written by djkaktus.
  • SCP-3796 ("What a Wonderful Unification It Would Be") - "The physical record aspect of SCP-3796 is home to a highly aggressive Class VII noncorporeal, ideatic, noosphere-based sapient personality matrix. " Written by LordStonefish.
  • SCP-3536 ("Bacteriophage Enabler") - "SCP-3536 will proceed to use the stored raw materials to create live replicas of any bacteria present in the sample. These replicas, hereafter designated SCP-3536-1, are magnified in size according to the selected setting on the movable dial." Written by Weryllium.
  • SCP-3268 ("Digital Predator") - "SCP-3268 is predatory, and appears to "feed" on digital images of organisms of the Kingdom Animalia." Written by naenaed.
  • SCP-3509 ("The Test Chamber") - "In the only instance that the order wasn't fulfilled in time, the area of effect of SCP-3509-B began expanding at an alarming rate, affecting multiple SCP Foundation staff and Class-D present on the Site." Written by preoklenthe.
  • SCP-3123 ("Insult To Injury") - "I apologize to all my friends and family for my wrongdoing." Written by Captain Kirby.
  • SCP-3191 ("Consciousness Emulator") - "SCP-3191 is a highly effective mimic. It exhibits all knowledge, memories, and psychological traits of the subject it replicates" Written by jabyrwock.

Tales

  • Thirty Pieces of Silver, Plus Inflationary Costs - "You'll have to kill them, of course. Whoever edited this copy, and whoever was trying to sell it. Bring me their heads, as much of them as you can." Written by Pedantique.
  • The Subject of Ordinance - "To me, Auden has successfully created a raw concept of irony, be it through a sincere submission or a practical joke.” Written by HiuMentah.
  • An Arm and a Leg - "He could ask for anything. Didn’t mean he would get it, but he could ask. But his outstretched hand was trembling, and he was sweating buckets. The bruise on his face ached with every distant heartbeat." Written by Zachary Maxwell.
  • A Diminished Thing - "Please discontinue yodeling." Written by PeppersGhost.

Week of January 22nd:

SCPs

  • SCP-016-J ("Is That A Missile In Your Pocket?") - "C’mon doc. Just fire me. You know I’ll satisfy you." Written by Captain Kirby.
  • SCP-3085 ("Stuck in 2007") - "What the fuck? Weirdest glitch ever." Written by ObserverSeptember.
  • SCP-2621 ("Knocking on Heaven's Door") - "Agent Bradley informs Tau-5 of an approaching object. This object appears as a large flaming cross that splits the clouds as it falls to earth." Written by Doctor Cimmerian.
  • SCP-3968 ("Immoral Minefield") - "I hope you can remember me as someone who tried to do the right thing in the end. You were the one good thing I left in this world." Written by ModernMajorGeneral.
  • SCP-3129 ("Mr. November") - "In this day and age there's so many voices out there trying to lead the voters astray. My voice is a voice you can trust. Listen to my voice." Written by Tiam_Kara.
  • SCP-3469 ("Nice Cream") - "SCP-3469 is a creamy white substance of unknown composition." Written by Tiefling.
  • SCP-3061 ("Reluctant Fiend") - "The circle must be drawn at least four foot in diameter, using a blood mixture consisting of a cockerel, any species of canine or feline, at least two human infants and the blood of a human priest who has “Served under the guidance of the Lord for three decades”." Written by Penton.
  • SCP-3209 ("Boredom Butterfly") - "Might have a lead. An ex-monk in Panauti with severely disabling apathy. Can't even get out of bed." Written by jabyrwock.
  • SCP-3417 ("The Preachers of Globular Cluster Terzan 2") - ""Do you know that I killed more conquerors than Eov-Leusan?"" Written by 9Volt.
  • SCP-3185 ("The Public Domain Protection Service") - "Twelve hours after reading it, the subject will instantaneously vanish from their current location and apparently find themselves transported back in time to New Years’ Day of the following year that the book in their “assignment” was published." Written by ObserverSeptember.
  • SCP-3718 ("An Environmental Cat-astrophe") - "SCP-3718 is believed to have been originated from GoI-233, as an attraction for its 'Menagerie of Mayhem'." Written by RecursiveRecursion.
  • SCP-3521 ("Forced Banana Equivalent Dose by dado") - "u trust dado and everthing be ok." Written by djkaktus.
  • SCP-1549 ("In Absence of a Perfect Medium") - "Well, we've had a good run. I have attacked, you've attacked, it's all been fun and games and really, thank you for letting me say that I have fought and had moderate success against an international covert organization." Written by DarkStuff and TheBillith.
  • SCP-3870 ("The Ice-Cream Vigilante") - "SCP-3870 is a Japanese-American human male currently rendered comatose due to a traffic accident involving an ice-cream truck collision." Written by CuriousCoffee.
  • SCP-3620 ("Data Expunged the Chicken") - "SCP-3620 presents visually as a two-dimensional white plane featuring a pictograph and a series of curved lines hypothetized to be language, although they match no previously-encountered alphabet." Written by Allan Crain.

Tales

  • Red Harvest - "I reel my arm back and take my shot. When it connects to that solid jaw, a jolt of pain stabs down through my shoulder and straight into the socket. The sound of his skull cracking against back of that door is worth it, though. Second best thing I'll hear all day." Written by The Great Hippo.
  • Your Future is Bright - "He sat down at the single chair and waited for it to begin." Written by TheBillith.
  • Kit, The Storyteller - "No-one realises what suicide really does to a group of people until it happens to them." Written by Zachary Maxwell.
  • Kids with Guns Part Two - "The headlights had grown much larger and brighter. Lensflares kaleidoscoped across the windshield. There was the squawk of a voice projected over a loudspeaker or megaphone. Nathan couldn't parse the words but knew the gist. Pull the vehicle over and exit with your hands up. Stop or we will shoot." Written by AFX Neuromancer.
  • Sometimes the Best Intentions are in Need of Redemption - "I was some putrid garbage rotting in some hole somewhere — figuratively. Don't want to be confused with Sewy. Poor Sewy." Written by DarkStuff.
  • Forever Young - "When you're able to do anything whenever you feel like it, with nobody challenging you, with absolutely no limits at all, what's the point anymore?" Written by DarkStuff.
  • Under a Baleful Sky - "The bullets ricocheted off a patch of air, sparking and flying off in wide arcs." Written by Pedantique.
  • Allegory Of The Two Bothers - "The Wolf is very strong. He teaches the brothers to kill and eat and grow strong." Written by SunnyClockwork.
  • The Trouble With Amnestics - "“Draven,” says James, choking back tears. “I think I forgot how to read.”" Written by thefriendlyvandal.
  • July 5th, 1975 - "Humans can't live focused on one thing only. Variation is where they thrive, and so soon the memories dissipate. But all you need is a reminder, a push. A trigger." Written by Perelka_L.
  • She's Really Good At Hurting Other People But Not Much Of Anything Else - "Something in the back of her mind wondered what the crowd saw the spectacle as, what the anomaly fooled their brains into seeing. She pushed that thought away and focused on lifting her arm along with the ref." Written by Tiefling.
  • Prelude: The Facade - "The wild-eyed man returned to a seated position in his cell. A spider that was crawling down the wall abruptly stopped, and shriveled into a dry husk. It fell to the floor, onto an ever-growing pile of insects." Written by RecursiveRecursion.

GOI Formats

  • 'Kaiju Caviar' (OCN39/T5FG6/7HJL2) - "After some preparation, the eggs are placed within a casting circle of Neo-Sarkic glyphs. Eurydice strips nude while the others don blood-red robes. Eurydice stands in the center of the casting circle while the others form a triangle around it." Written by DrChandra.

Misc

  • Foundation After Midnight Radio Hub - "This is the only after midnight radio broadcast for the Foundation, by the Foundation. Stay tuned for site announcement, personnel notes, containment breach updates, and much, much more!" Written by toadking07.
  • Ascension Hub - "Nothing makes any sense anymore, but maybe it never did, and maybe there are still answers, but maybe there aren't. Difficult to tell, but as long as I'm here, I still have coffee, so fuck it." Written by DarkStuff.
  • Maim the Sky, Slay the Sun Hub - "Even when you have the power to call down vicious lights and raise vast darknesses, it turns out that a pair of minions can be awfully useful to have around." Written by Pedantique.

Fandom Stuff

Nothing to report.

Fanart

Mendelssohn made some fantastic art of SCP-3371 "Beautiful Inside My Head Forever" by bittermixin!!!

Footnotes
‡ Licensing / Citation
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