New Technical Issues
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Welcome to the Technical Issues page. You are all free to ask me about any issue you might be having (with a computer, mind you), I will try and assist you in resolving those issues. Don't be bashful about asking me questions, I probably won't mess with your clearance level if you aggravate me. Probably. Mark your request with the date at the bottom of the page, I will answer all questions in the order received. Your call is very important to us…
~Technical Researcher Rosen


Due to a… charmingly high number of requests, I am no longer responding to inquiries related to the following subjects and bodily functions.

  • Semen, whether human or animal
  • Any other sexual excretion
  • Really, anything gross coming out of a human body is your own problem.
  • Any other equally horrible things I haven't thought of at time of writing.

Anything added to this page relating to anything on this list or something else I don't like will be deleted summarily, and I will be very, very cross with you.

Old Entries: New Technical Issues Archive

Note: 1/2/2023
Hey, man. I'm pretty new here, so I just need a little help with a couple things. First, what's a safe CAD software that I can use during work hours? And what can I use to make sure some idiot doesn't put ice cream in my computer?
Yours truly, Dr. Fujiki

What is this? Are you refusing free ice cream? Gifred by your esteemed colleagues?? Your coworkers are caring for you and this is how you react?
I am making a complaint to HR. This is unacceptable workplace behavior.
I hope you can learn from this and be a better coworker in the future.
~ Intern Beauvillier
P.S. FreeCAD's the way to go. If you use closed source soft, I will find you and I will put you in the timeout corner so you can think about what you've done.

Note: 1/2/2023
Hey, thanks for the information, but the "gift" has absolutely destroyed my CPU. I'm sending this to you from a Chromebook I borrowed from a colleague, and because I am an engineer/physicist, I would believe that is a problem. Also *gifted*
Yours truly, Dr. Fujiki
P.S. By the way, I couldn't even eat the ice cream. It was melted when I saw it.

Nevermind then, it seems you are in a situation of danger. Your coworkers offered you a Chromebook?!
You have to leave while you still can. Let me help. I'll give you a replacement computer and transfer papers to Site-███, Antarctica. Population, penguins.
Listen if some people are mad enough to offer you a Chromebook out of all things, your life's especially in danger. For a Foundation researcher, that is.
Don't look back on your way out. Those people smell fear.
Good news is, down there, you'll still have time to eat your ice cream before it melts.
~ Intern Beauvillier

Note: 1/2/2023
Hey, thanks for the heads up. I put in a requisition to be transferred, but it seems that my destination was changed. I'm now lost in what I think is the Yumegēmu Nexus. Sending you this on my phone. When I get to Site-79, I will send you a tub of ice cream, but not in the computer.
Yours truly, Dr. Fujiki

Note: ██/██/████
Hey, it seems that some D-Class added random things of no value or relevance whatsoever to this log. I hope it won't be a problem?
- Lonely Hearts Thing-Adder in Site-17

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