Ah, the reliability of a good, old-fashioned image designed to kill people.
SCP-001-J.
SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES: As SCP-001-J is stationed on the SCP-001 file page, no traditional procedures for its containment are required. Instead, efforts are to be focused towards the creation of a functional alternative.
DESCRIPTION: SCP-001-J is the Berryman-Langford Memetic Kill Agent, a simple image depicting a group of spirals upon an orange background designed to protect the SCP-001 file page.
Despite the repeated insistence otherwise from both the Administrator and the Overseer Council, SCP-001-J has been proven to be both utterly ineffective and incapable of killing any living creature, with the only observable form of harm it is capable of causing being mild discomfort to those with poor or sensitive eyesight who look at it. Due to the lack of any functioning protection for the various SCP-001 files, all personnel apart from new recruits who are incapable of recognizing that the warning at the top of the hub is fake have been noticeably reading all filed proposals for the SCP-001 slot, representing an unacceptable breach in Foundation security.
Alternatives for SCP-001-J, such as the implementation of hired guns to shoot all personnel visibly scrolling past it in the leg1, have been posited but were subsequently rejected for their general unfeasibility.
| From: | administrator@overwatch.scp.int |
|---|---|
| To: | Staff (Group) |
| Subject: | Alright, fine. |
| Date: | 13/05/23 |
To all personnel,
The failure of the Berryman-Langford Memetic Kill Agent has been considered one of my greatest regrets as Foundation Administrator. However, after careful deliberation, I have finally come up with a proper solution to ensure once and for all that the SCP-001 files are protected.
Administrator
Secure, Contain, Protect