Milk Hub

Milk Hub
Byㅤ Lt Flops
Published on 09 Jan 2023 17:37

Prepared by Project GALAXIAS

Department of Lactic Anomalies

The Project GALAXIAS Senior Advisory Table thinks we've finally arrived at the precipice of a paradigm shift. Work is accelerating at a pace few can keep up with, and the scheduled lactic intake has again been increased, now for the fifth week straight.

As I perch in my bunk, at half-past-four, I feel faraway stars piercing through to my room. Their cross-spectrum light finds its way. I feel for all the world that they leer at me alone.

My gut can't take anymore. I'm in a constant, ice-cold sweat. My spinal column arches like a dying mare in childbirth. My arms and legs dangle off the bed, annexed from my body, heavy as the world can bear. I can no longer manage the aching in my temples. And in my fevered state, the ceiling, ever expanding, has stretched to alien reaches. The acute senses that comprise my experience have been gouged from my being and placed in a foreign amphitheatre, of an impossibly gargantuan scale. My head spins from untold distances across needle-thin track. Again. Again.

I feel the Cosmos. Its unfathomable expanse has been squeezed down to fit within my peripheral nervous system.

All these are adverse effects, so they say, of having survived a passing glance at Eternity. Apotheosis is being administered in adrenal pinpricks across the inside of my raw skin.

I don't know who or what to believe.

O, ANAGAIA, how She torments me. I have barely grazed against the afterthoughts of Her afterthoughts, yet my screams carry for ten thousand light-years. They impugn me for things inexplicable, beyond mortal control. Alas, I was not born with a ruminant digestive tract.

I could never bear the teat. In no form even thinkable could I withstand its nourishing expectancy. Instead, I languish. A constellation of agony rips across my psycho–oneirically imposed outer edges. The ones She imposed. The ones my superiors believed would vitalize my putrid form.

How much more can my mind and body bear? Or have I been consigned to a suffering that knows no limits?

— Lieutenant Advisor Flea Opsis
Project GALAXIAS

HIDE RESEARCHER NOTE

Lactic Anomalies

A Taxonomical Approach

We divide Lactic Phenomena into two clades: Major and Minor.

Major Lactic Phenomena are phenomena in which milk is undeniably and incontrovertibly a central part of the anomaly in question. They consist of:

Livestock as producers of milk.
Milk as a symbol of motherhood.
The religious significance of milk.
The societal rhythms and understandings created by the prevalence of milk in our society.

Minor Lactic Phenomena, in contrast, are phenomena in which milk is of enough importance that understanding the anomalies through a Lactic lens may aid in containment, but where other aspects of the anomaly take primacy. The phenomena collected here are:

Curdled milk byproduct, AKA cheese.
Non-livestock milk-producing bozomorphic organisms, AKA clowns.
Incidental appearances of milk that are given undue importance in otherwise unrelated anomalies.

There is overlap among each of these categories, but most anomalies are principally associated with one primary class.

SHOW MAJOR LACTIC PHENOMENA

HIDE MAJOR LACTIC PHENOMENA

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+ UNFOLD +− FOLD −

Navigation

1.1 Livestock
1.2 Motherhood
1.3 Ritualism (Extramundane)
1.4 Ritualism (Mundane)
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1.1 Livestock

Today, in the early 21st century, the global dairy industry is worth over US$ 800 billion. It is industrial in every sense of the word. The act of milking has become fully mechanized. Animal husbandry has been distilled to a science. Complex networks of dairy conglomerates (which are practically governments unto themselves) transport milk products from farm to table and across the world.

But the modern-day braiding of the dairy industry with institutions of law and governance is only the latest iteration of a practice that began at the dawn of human history.

What remains unclear is how long ago the human species first started cultivating animals for the purpose of harvesting their milk. It is highly likely that the first humans aware of milk-drinking had become so after observing the interactions between mother animals and their young. However, it is unnatural that human beings can drink milk at all. Most adult humans — except for select groups in Europe and the Middle East that exhibit rare genetic mutations — have lactose intolerance.

Yet this biological inability for humans (past the age of early adolescence) to digest milk did not stop modern humans from continuing to do so. Milk was an incredibly useful nutrition source. It was renewable and did not hurt or kill the animals that produced it. Furthermore, milk had a higher energy density than water, and, crucially, tended to be safer than water, which was not potable unless boiled. There were early evolutionary pressures to learn how to drink milk, thereby further developing the ability to do so via evolution.

The availability of the milk-producing animal bridged the gap between the nomad and the farmer. Both nomadic and sedentary cultures tended milk-producing creatures — be they cows, goats, or camels — for the purpose of harvesting their milk. For the nomad, milk was portable; for the farmer, it was clean. In this way, milk motivated the establishment of social structures that incentivized the safe and reliable production of itself. Therefore, milk, alongside agriculture and brewing, may have laid the foundations for modern conceptions of the State.

The human appetite for milk has been insatiable. In the modern era, millions of cows are kept hooked up to milking machines: Kept alive solely to produce milk. Cows are selectively bred for higher milk yields, and governments administer billions of dollars in subsidies to their respective dairy industries.

We would be remiss not to mention the various plant-based beverages colloquially known as “milks” and “creams” throughout the world. These substitutes for animal milk reflect the dominance of milk as a drink, such that, when it cannot be consumed, a substitute is found. Plant-based milk is inherently less water-consumptive and deleterious to the baseline human digestive system, although this depends on the biological traits of the specific individual.

The sheer number of milk-producing animals currently being farmed — which are needed to sustain humanity's dependence on the modern lacto–industrial complex — naturally encourages the manifestation of bovine anomalies.

1.2 Motherhood

The first time that most human beings encounter milk is from their mother's nipple. Consuming milk, therefore, instinctively recalls the experience of breastfeeding. It is a fundamental reminder of the second home after the womb: The mother's bosom. Indeed, even after being weaned from the teat, the human being often desires to return to it, thereby becoming trapped in endless epicycles of return to the womb. The societal association between milk and motherhood entwines milk with conceptions of femininity and its own role in society.

It is interesting that the human newborn instinctively knows the smell of the mother's nipple: When it is placed near a woman's nipple, it instinctively heads towards it and seeks to feed. The attraction to milk is located within the human species — within all mammals. This trait is so central to the class Mammalia that it is, thus, named after the mammary.

Whereas most animals stop drinking their mothers' milk after early infancy, the human creature continues. However, the human being does not drink its own mother's milk in perpetuity; instead, it drinks the milk of other species. In effect, the human being has tied itself to the womb, tied itself to the nipple, tied itself to the teat so firmly that it replaces its own mother with another animal.

Even so, motherhood plays a vital role in human societies. Let us consider the discredited thoughts of Sigmund Freud. Freud, infamously, was known for desiring his own mother, and described such desires in detail. Crucially, Freud had not been weaned by his mother, but instead by a wet nurse, and when he gazed upon his mother's breasts, he became aroused. He was deprived of a deeply human experience by the realities of the society in which he lived. A society that, at the time, demanded mothers pass the duty of feeding their children onto those of a lower class — ergo, the commodification of milk production.

We are all products of the societies in which we live, and the role of the mother differs in each. Even so, because Freud was plumbing theories of the mind where none yet existed, he came to believe that his experiences of milk and motherhood were universal when, indeed, they were a product of his society.

In our modern era, the breast remains associated with milk along another dimension — a sexual one. Foundation web crawlers detect, passively, an incredibly high frequency of the phrase “mommy milkers” as one of desire. Indeed, milk is tied with both motherhood and fecundity.

The role of the mother in today's societies is under constant flux. In our post-Fordist capitalist society, the archetypes of the working mother, the high-powered business executive mother, and the sexually objectified mother of other people, have all become increasingly common, even as those who express desire towards such archetypical roles do so in modes of behavior that hearken back to their infancy. As the noöspheric links that connect milk, motherhood, and sexuality continue to shift, increasingly unpredictable containment challenges shall arise.

1.3 Ritualism (Extramundane)

Spiritual Practices

It is a natural tendency for societies to sanctify ritual objects that become prominent in our daily lives. For most of humanity's state as an agrarian society, the cow or other livestock was central to the home, second only to the hearth. Thus, milk features prominently throughout world religions and cults.

In the Mediterranean, this manifests in many forms, including the Apis bull, the cult of Mithras, and the tale of Zeus suckling upon the teat of the goat Amalthea. In the Icelandic Prose Edda, the cow Auðumbla similarly sustained the progenitor giant Ymir. In the Puranas, the king Prithu milked the Earth-goddess Prithvi to end a famine plaguing humanity, and in the Samudra Manthana, Kshira Sagara — the Ocean of Milk — seals the elixir of immortality. Milk is the source and originator of the life of the world; the source from which all being flows.

Even without being the metaphorical wellspring of humanity, the source and presence of milk convey a sense of divinity:

The sacred status of cows and other mammals in Hinduism, popularized in the West as the Sacred Cow.
The Sacred Cows of Apollo.
The repetition of the phrase "Land of Milk and Honey" in the Hebrew Bible as a description of the promised land.

For the entirety of human civilization, milk has been inherently, intrinsically, and inseparably tied to the concept of divinity and its manifestations upon the Earth. It is the drink that bridges both mundane and supernal realms.

1.4 Ritualism (Mundane)

Domestic Practices

With the spread of western European culture across the world, the use of milk and milk-like substances has been integrated into the daily rituals of millions of individuals. Milk serves multiple purposes in the household: It is drunken in the mornings, as part of a balanced meal; it is drunken after physical exertion, to enhance muscular growth; and it is incorporated into a balanced diet overall.

Milk has been enshrined in the nutritional guidelines of government-backed health organizations, most infamously the USDA Food Pyramid, active from 1992–2005. The Food Pyramid placed milk in an elevated state, to be consumed more rarely than the base of fruit, vegetables, and grain, but more commonly than the luxuries of fat and sugar. In this way, milk occupied a liminal area, elevated from the succor of the common people but debased from traditional offerings to the gods.

It is fitting, in a sense, that the average American drinks milk or milk derivatives every morning, whether atop cereal or in coffee. Milk is a prominent part of the domestic ritual of breakfast. Globally, the use of milk as daily ritual and foodstuff has even influenced traditionally lactose-intolerant populations, as the popularity of the Taiwanese-originating “boba” — tapioca tea with milk — demonstrates. The population of Earth has incorporated milk into its daily routines of wakefulness.

Milk is also enshrined within certain body-focused subcultures as a readily available source of protein and nutrients. These individuals view milk as possessing a nigh-ambrosial quality, capable of supercharging their attempts at self-transformation. They will often partake in a ritual “chug” of milk, in which they consume as much of the substance as possible in a brief period, in the belief that doing so will enhance the transformation of their muscles.

Even individuals who cannot drink cow or goat's milk may use milk-substitutes, such as plant-based milks, in their daily rituals.

Milk pervades every aspect of modern human civilization. Fittingly, it commonly appears in anomalies intertwined with or arising from the otherwise mundane passage of human life. Although its presence may appear purely incidental at first, Project GALAXIAS monitors any anomalies that place an undue importance on milk in a mundane context, should additional containment challenges become necessary.

2.1 Cheese

Milk Byproduct

Human beings have been processing milk into hundreds of byproducts since the dawn of civilization. Human societies have produced an incredibly diverse assortment of cheeses. Other milk derivatives, such as cream and butter, and fermented products such as kefir, have also served as the backbones of their respective societies. Modern industrial technology has also allowed for the creation of further-abstracted milk derivatives. It is helpful to understand the role of these byproducts and their relationship with milk itself for the purposes of containment.

Cheese can be understood, at base, as solidified milk proteins curdled and separated from milk liquids. These milk proteins are then treated in a nigh-uncountable number of ways to impart flavor, transform texture, and preserve the food. These transformations are carried out by bacteria, enzymes, and the passage of time. However, this scientific description of cheese-mongering does not capture the importance cheese holds in human societies. Cheeses often become associated with their place of manufacture, which becomes embedded in their identity memeplexes. The most notable instance of this association is Parmesan cheese and Parma, Italy.

Other milk derivatives are considered more for their culinary purposes than as dishes in their own rights. While butter is associated with multiple styles of cuisine, such as American Southern and French cooking, it is known in those cuisines for the sense of luxury it imparts, stemming from the milkfat, but often attributed to the fat itself. This level of processing has abstracted the substance away from the milk memeplex. A similar train of logic can be applied to industrial milk derivatives such as whey protein or coffee creamer. These substances may originate from milk and may carry some of the properties of milk — imbuing strength or imparting luxury — but they are not thought of as milk.

Of all milk derivatives, only cheese is a close enough conceptual neighbor to milk such that containment best practices may be transferable between them. For this reason, Project GALAXIAS keeps a tally of cheese-related anomalies, as there may be a need for increased vigilance as the future draws ever nearer. Future developments in cheese-making may one day create a cheese that is no longer considered a milk derivative, but such a development, should it ever come, is far, far, far into the future.

2.2 Clowns

Homo sapiens prodigiosus

We have no idea what clown milk is.

Consult the earliest Foundation records on the subject and you will find that clown milk has powerful mutagenic and hallucinogenic properties. It is biologically pluripotent — its effects on human beings are unpredictable.

There are indications that it is, effectively, a contagion. When imbibed in sufficient quantities, clown milk can transform human beings into clowns — themselves capable of producing clown milk. This would not usually be a concern on its own, except clowns are apex predators for humanity. Clowns are capable of luring humans, both children and adults, with flashy displays of mystical trickery. Herman Fuller's Circus of the Disquieting is purported to convert harvested clown milk into cotton candy and other sweets to ensure a steady supply of reliable transformations.

The speciation of clowns is likewise unclear. There are undeniably sapient clowns — who are rumored to run the modern Circus of the Disquieting — but a substantial body of sub-Veil clown enthusiast literature is based upon treating clowns as nonsapient beings, filling the same niche as show poodles and other such pets. It is unclear whether nonsapient clowns can become sapient, or vice versa. It is unclear whether clown milk plays any role in the creation of nonsapient clowns. It is unclear whether clown milk sold for consumption is harvested from sapient or nonsapient clowns. It is unclear whether clown milk harvested from sapient clowns will always transform human beings into sapient clowns.

Clown milk is black and abnormally sweet. It otherwise has the texture of regular milk, and can be considered a one-to-one substitute in most culinary applications.

Although its properties are fairly similar to regular milk, it is distant enough from the core lactic memeplex that clown milk anomalies are not expected to fall under the purview of Project GALAXIAS.

2.3 Sometimes, milk just shows up.

It's probably not that big a deal, though.

Milk is everywhere in our society. It's no surprise that it manifests among many other anomalies.

These anomalies are included here for the sake of completeness, and are not expected to have serious containment ramifications.

Further Research on Lactic Anomalies

The SCP Foundation has had innumerable encounters with lactic phenomena during its efforts to safeguard normalcy. The Department of Lactic Anomalies and Project GALAXIAS oversee the containment and research of these phenomena where it is applicable.

The following SCP Item documents have been flagged by RAISA for reference to one or more of the seven lactic taxonomies. If you wish to conduct research on a specific lactic phenomenon, please direct your inquiries to the Containment Specialist assigned to the relevant item.

SHOW MAINLIST ARTICLES

HIDE MAINLIST ARTICLES

Research Directory

Series 1

Series 2

Series 3

Series 4

Series 5

Series 6

Series 7

Series 8

Series 1

« Directory »

SCP-058 — Heart of Darkness

SCP-058: Nightshade is shadows in all honest blinks that sort through the bile of newborn plagues, instant warmth is a mother's milk in dreams before anything was ever evil.

SCP-395 — The Bottle Baby

When a female human comes within 5 meters of the jar, SCP-395 is able to telepathically influence her. At that point, the subject will feel a need to remove SCP-395 from its jar, and allow it to feed in the normal manner. All women, regardless of age or medical status, will lactate under this telepathic inducement. Once the milk has been exhausted, SCP-395 will continue to feed, drawing blood and gnawing flesh from the subject.

SCP-400 — Beautiful Babies

Mrs. B: With that awful formula, I’ll bet! [REDACTED] threw up the last time I tried that. Neither of them has touched it since. No; it’s natural breast milk for them, 100%. My obstetrician said that they’ll need it for at least another three months, and I’m not about to take any risks.

Dr. Grant: Isn’t two and a half years a little long to be breastfeeding?

SCP-562 — Revel Rousers

Those subject to 562-Claim events are found dead in the nearest old-growth forest at some point between four and eight years later. Autopsies reveal the causes of death to be multiple organ failure consistent with advanced age. In most cases, a large, though safe, quantity of honey, milk, and alcohol is found in their digestive tract.

SCP-570 — The Occult Soda War

Rep. Sallos: Sure Berith, act all wise and solemn. Not like the guys at the plant saw you at that horrid milk fiasco you tried to pull in '91.

Grand Thaumaturge Berith: Bastard.

SCP-594 — Electric Sheep

Research has been done on the properties of SCP-594 wool, milk, meat, and horn. Results of these tests are pending full documentation, however the meat, milk, and resultant dairy products have proven to be fit for human consumption. Approval to include “Thunder Mutton” and various cheeses made from the milk of SCP-594 in the Foundation’s standardized menu still pending.

SCP-597 — Mother

The milk released will be identical in every way to the makeup of the subject's mother's, although able to sustain the subject's nutritional needs indefinitely.

SCP-686 — Infectious Lactation

The infection increases the host's lactation rate, or if the host is not lactating causes it to begin doing so.

SCP-779 — Brownies

SCP-779 will consume most edible substances, with a particular affinity to milk. Consumption of milk seems to be remedial to SCP-779. Injuries such as torn wings and missing legs have been observed to heal in a matter of hours after consumption.

SCP-886 — Nanny

The milk and meat of SCP-886-B may be consumed safely; the anomaly does not appear to be infectious.

Series 2

« Directory »

SCP-1067 — Tea-making Teaspoons

Experimentation shows SCP-1067-d to be capable of fabricating pasteurised cow’s milk upon contact with fluids. The milk is non-toxic as per usual, but produces slightly higher levels of radiation than would be normally expected.

SCP-1147 — Adaptive Plum Tree

Substance: Pasteurized cow's milk.
Result: Trunk is white and stronger than normal wood. Leaves and flowers are soft with a slightly sour scent.
Fruit: Creamy and solid, with a skin and flavor reminiscent of brie cheese. Serves well with white wine.

SCP-1240 — The Mixed-up Pet Shop

The infants were curled up into tight little balls, and grew in size as time went by, without receiving any milk from the mother.

SCP-1298 — The Doorstep Babies

Though instances will consume milk or soft foods, they do not produce waste and anything ingested will remain inside the predominantly hollow interior.

SCP-1404 — Cereal Bowl

Once the milk reaches 472 mL, cereal alphabet letters will rise from the milk and spell out a phrase. Each phrase is vague in its meaning, but they are consistently negative and usually threatening, sometimes referring to “we.”

SCP-1622 — Cheese with Expensive Tastes

SCP-1622 is a semihard cheese made from the milk of the Balaenoptera musculus (commonly known as the blue whale)

SCP-1767 — An Agent Of The Shark Punching Center

Deployment Record: Only one asset is currently active in the SPC-2521 program. However, it is highly promising and has promised verbally to 'be really good at punching in dreams, I'm not good at it now but I just have to practice more and drink milk'. Although this is pure nonsense, the drive they have shown in achieving these goals is proof that they have the drive to achieve the goals of the Center.

SCP-1848 — [ACCESS DENIED]

SCP-1848: Oh, yeah. It's the best kind of cow. See, they make sure that the cows are happy. You know happy cows give you more milk, right?

SCP-1878 — Milkman Mimic

SCP-1878-2 is a substance similar to milk in appearance and viscosity. When being transported by SCP-1878 it is always stored in unmarked glass bottles with aluminium foil lids. While SCP-1878-2 usually contains lipids and polypeptides (these often include non-standard amino acids), they are unlike those found in milk from any known animal.

SCP-1921 — Black Cotton Candy

SCP-1921-A3 is a black, highly viscous liquid of unknown composition. It was originally discovered underneath SCP-1921-A1 in a small tank labeled "Clown Milk". When a subject consumes SCP-1921-A3 in its pure form, the subject's serotonin1 levels will immediately increase to the point of cardiac arrest, invariably resulting in death.

SCP-1936 — Daleport

Series 3

« Directory »

SCP-2168 — Progress

The cows started to moo in the night, all night long, and stopped producing milk.

SCP-2352 — A Sorta-Dead Vlogger and Their Clingy Extradimensional Fan

SCP-2352-1 is seated in its kitchen, spending the first twelve seconds of the video pouring itself a glass of milk. The remainder of the broadcast is spent by subject airing its grievances against its ex-girlfriend (identified as Sue ███████). First appearance of SCP-2352-2 in the background, passing outside of an overlooking window; however, it is unknown if the entity was aware of it being filmed, or if subject was aware of its presence after filming. Length of 4:12.

SCP-2488 — Safety Harbor Milk Delivery Service

Along with the decomposed remains of a supposed Tocobaga native, we found a milk bottle.

SCP-2504 — Embry-Os, the World's Most Popular Fetus Based Cereal!

On the front of each box, the words "Embry-Os, the World's Most Popular Fetus Based Cereal!" can be read, along with a picture of a bowl of milk filled with what appears to be human embryos, varying in age between 6 to 8 weeks old.

SCP-2512 — An Anomalous Area in Arizona

Results have included:

Milk (bovine)

A slurry of spices, Solanum lycopersicum (tomato), various members of genus Capsicum, dilute acetic acid and sodium chloride
Tequila
Water (potable)

SCP-2523 — Goblin Market

All milk products at Site-17 were reported to have instantly spoiled simultaneously with this event.

SCP-2592 — Milk and Bananas

In lieu of a standard humaniform entity diet, SCP-2592 is to be fed one bowl containing two sliced Class I (EU) bananas in 350 mL of whole milk daily.

SCP-2751 — Hydrophobic Dogs

Puppies were found to suck up a dry, powdery substance in place of normal mother’s milk, produced by the mother via normal breastfeeding methods.

SCP-2779 — Oinkers

14.45: Researcher Bartley Jept and Zoologist Brendan Parks enter test chamber. Dr. Jept begins the installation of device drivers, while Mx. Parks inspects the tower and feeds it milk and chopped green peppers. After approximately three minutes, a notification appears on screen indicating a source of device drivers has not been found.

SCP-2811 — Kali Yuga

Original-Narrative (designated ON) text describing the writer's distress at having his advances rejected by ██████. At one point when he is in his apartment overlooking the wharf, the narrator happens to see ██████ there holding the hands of an unidentified man. In a fit of apparent psychosis, the writer transcribes a 6,000 word series of writings in which he believes ██████ is ████, a █████ Goddess and cosmic force of destruction. Fragment: "bathe in milk the sobbing scars of earth and hear the trees of summer sheen-singing again, O ██████, the red-song out of the sky, bludgeoner of the face of Creation, O the clouds and sweet fire, the clouds and sweet fire"

SCP-2858 — As Though the Wasps Themselves Had Worked It There

Milk, lapis lazuli, glycol distearate, apatite
Upon application, pores that made contact with it expanded to approximately 13 times their previous size, before several tooth-like structures began developing. These structures were able to grind an inserted steel needle into fine powder. Pores sporadically contracted and expanded for seven hours before the dissolution of the tooth-like structures, during which time the subject's body returned to normal.

SCP-2869 — Fuckworms

Pectoral breasts on SCP-2869 are fully-developed and capable of milk production, and arms are elongated and significantly more muscular than other deviations of SCP-2869.

SCP-2910 — That Only A Mother

As SCP-2910-A ages, it mimics the behavior of infants at the equivalent age (for example, by six months SCP-2910-A is able to move by itself). However, it does not grow and cannot consume any foodstuffs except milk (and only while breastfeeding). After twelve months, it becomes inanimate and begins to decompose normally.

SCP-2912 — Clowny Clown Clown

"You fucking shit-eaters forgot to milk the clowns, didn't you? Way to ruin a decade of work, you cunts."

SCP-2914 — The Stuff That Dreams are Made Of

Subject was asked to recall her earliest childhood memory. Subject described earliest memory as a kindergarten playground incident.
Result: Bottles were filled with the following substances/materials:
…
Milk

SCP-2952 — Conveyance Of Regional Gwerin Internationally

If an SCP-2952-1 instance is still in the process of being uncovered and set up for monitoring, a small meal of fruits, milk, nuts, wildflowers, and honey is to be left at the instance at each sunrise and sunset.

SCP-2957 — The Lunar Watchers

Bimsstein: We only trust ourselves. We bid for a bowl of milk here and there, but time goes by and the shadows grow longer. The Kobolde like superstitiousness and there is more horror and punishment they… no. Forget what I have said.

SCP-2983 — Choco-Wonder Explosion Marshmallow Bites!^TM by Dr. Wondertainment

When a quantity of milk exceeding 227 grams is poured into a bowl containing SCP-2983, the marshmallows will animate and vocalize. The marshmallows will sing a song typically regarding the importance of proper dental hygiene, exercise, and consuming a balanced diet before ceasing further anomalous behavior.

Series 4

« Directory »

SCP-3110 — One Man's Trash…

Notes: Items Used: 1 Carton of Milk (refrigerated), 3 Hamburgers (1 freshly made, 1 partially eaten*, 1 a day old*), 3 cans of corn (2 unopened, 1 open*), 1 5 cm block of cheese (molding)*; 70% of items accepted were given to D-Class by SCP-3110.

SCP-3118 — Lunch Gun

Test Number: 6

Date: 19/10/2015

Subject: D-10331

SCP-3118-1 Description: Puddle of white fluid determined to be human breast milk.

Notes: Subject expired.

SCP-3171 — How the Foundation Came to Operate a Phone Sex Hotline

Mr. Jackson: I had dinner with my sister last week.

SCP-3171-213: Oooh!

Mr. Jackson: We shared a milkshake, taking turns sipping from the same straw.

SCP-3171-213: You mud-stained whore.

SCP-3221 — Prester John the Unbroken

A river flowing through a desert, apparently composed of milk. Several pieces of honeycomb, as well as a large variety of precious stones, can be seen floating on the surface.

SCP-3270 — The Painting That Makes You A Furry

Instances of SCP-3270-1 are to be fed cooked fish and milk at regular intervals.

SCP-3273 — Self-Performed Brain Editing Manual

When police arrived they reported finding some of Dr. Dividsky's teeth and hair in a bowl of milk downstairs. Upon heading upstairs to confront Dr. Dividsky, he attacked and killed both armed officers with a fire extinguisher.

SCP-3312 — OwO what's this?

[MTF-S-88 enters the kitchen. The counters and table are littered with discarded food and prescription pill bottles. November nudges a puddle of crushed packets of cake mix and milk with the barrel of his gun. The puddle is lifted from the table, having solidified over time. Charlie motions to a window directly across from the overflowing table. It has been smeared with an unknown substance.]

SCP-3444 — She Took The Midnight Train Going Anywhere

You never got me, did you, Mum! I had dreams! I had ambitions! Instead, I was stuck here, milking your cows, until finally I couldn't take it any more! What kind of man did you expect I'd grow into when all I got from you was apathy!

SCP-3505 — Singed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours

SCP-3553 — They All Go Into the Dark

SCP-3553 manifests as a written message, usually accompanied by a photograph, concerning the disappearance of a child under the age of 16. It provides details of the disappearance such as the name of the child, age, appearance, location and date of the disappearance. The date of the disappearance is always several years into the future. The style of writing and presentation is somewhat reminiscent of the Milk Carton Appeal in the 1980s and 1990s1, but with some deviations, notably the absence of a phone number. The disappearances thus far have all occurred within the United Kingdom and the United States, countries in which the Milk Carton Appeal and similar initiatives took place.

SCP-3565 — Meat Baby

Testing has shown that SCP-3565 is not alive. Despite this, SCP-3565 is capable of metabolizing human milk, and doing so delays the putrefaction process and gives SCP-3565 limited regenerative properties.

SCP-3670 — Dreamed Corn

TEST 11

Request: A cup of coffee.

Result: A cup of hot creamed corn, covered with milk.

SCP-3739 — Mind-Milk^TM by Moosphere, Inc.

SCP-3780 — Who Shot J.F.K.?

Date: 22/11/1963

Attempt: An agent of Marshall, Carter, and Dark retroactively aborts Oswald by infiltrating the home of his mother, Marguerite Frances Claverie, and slipping a capsule of powdered unicorn horn into the jug of milk in her fridge.

SCP-3838 — Nomads of the 4th-Dimensional Steppe

Economically, SCP-3838 instances primarily live off the milk and meat of goats and sheep, with a natural spring located within the bounds of their physical territory providing water.

SCP-3845 — Buddy

SCP-3845 follows Sarah into the kitchen and sits on a stool in front of the counter. Sarah gets a box of Captain Crunch™ and Rice Krispies™ cereal from a cupboard and sets them on the counter, as well as milk and two paper bowls. Sarah proceeds to pour milk and cereal into each bowl.

SCP-3863 — Hole-y cow! I can't bee-lieve it!

SCP-3863-1 instances require milking in a process similar to non-anomalous livestock. The substance produced is a viscous dark orange semi-liquid chemically identical to honey, though it possesses nearly triple the normal quantity of the nutritional mineral iron.

SCP-3886 — The Necromancer's Saddle

It is everywhere. The saddle- (I want to retch just thinking about it) was covered in it, thick, viscous blood and mucus and black milk and- and so many other fluids, all mixed together.

SCP-3951 — Doggone It

Embedded in the eastern side of SCP-3951-1 is a waterfall 80 meters in height that generates a mixture of caribou blood, rendered seal fat, and fermented reindeer milk. This feature is designated SCP-3951-2. Pods of harp seals can sometimes be found swimming in the pool that has formed below SCP-3951-2, which SCP-3951 will then consume. It is theorized that, much like the aforementioned caribou and rabbits, these seals appear only when SCP-3951 is hungry.

Series 5

« Directory »

SCP-4005 — The Holy and Heavenly City of Fabled China

The emir was transfixed. He wanted it. He wanted all of it. Marrakesh might fall, but he could glimpse a city like no other, where nothing ever ended, where milk and honey poured from the mountains. He could not see a way to transform Marrakesh, but the very knowledge of this mythical place's existence was enough. He could not travel to the east himself, being an old man with too many duties, but he was desperate to see the cities regardless.

SCP-4101 — The World's Greatest Teacher is History

Last night, I had a strange dream. Rather murky, couldn't make out many details, but I definitely remember my mother being there. Just an overwhelming feeling of contentment washing through me, and then my alarm blaring me awake. When I reached over to turn it off, I noticed something on my nightstand that certainly wasn't there before: a bottle. A baby bottle. Freshly full to the brim.

As soon as I saw it, I knew I didn't even have to taste it to know where that milk came from.

I checked my doors, windows, everything, but nothing had gotten in that I could see. I checked the cameras I'd installed - nothing. I'm… I can never be too sure nowadays after that… that thing took my Annabelle.

SCP-4114 — Occult Escapologist

Did you know that there are several distinct types of Clowns, only two of which need to drink Milk? Fascinating, no?

SCP-4145 — Dissociative Dream Therapy™

Dont you hate it when a fetus made out of condensed regret falls in your milk glass? #mfw #mondays

SCP-4174 — Mother of Many

The current oldest SCP-4174-1 instance is believed to be roughly 20 years old. 14 loose umbilical cords appear to have been severed prior to containment.The umbilical cords are all cleanly cut, suggesting they were not separated by natural circumstances. with an additional three severed during experimentation. Along with continuing to produce SCP-4174-1 instances, the breasts of SCP-4174 will lactate profuse amounts of human breast milk, which the instances will drink as their only required form of sustenance. Each instance of SCP-4174-1 has been seen drinking roughly four liters of breast milk from SCP-4174 a day.

SCP-4187 — Bu(r)g(er) King

Date: 10/10/2034

Items Produced: 1 chicken club salad.

Composition: The "meat" of the salad was beef. The lettuce consisted of thin sheets of keratin, while the sauce was coagulated milk.

SCP-4332 — Meat It For All It's Worth

SCP-4332 is a dairy cow (Bos taurus) composed entirely of various dairy products. The majority of SCP-4332's flesh consists of whipped cream, with milk taking the place of blood and each organ being replaced with a different flavour of ice cream.

SCP-4348 — dado borger and france fry

72 hours prior to their visit to SCP-4348, the patron will inevitably encounter SCP-4348-1. SCP-4348-1 is a medium-rare cheeseburger with toppings of lettuce, tomato, cheese made from goat milk, mustard, and a wheat-based bun, often with a side of french fries.

SCP-4386 — B Gone, B

Messing with macrocosmic Branes is, of course, a very risky task, [$firstname]. We are involving ourselves in things that could surpass whatever deity you may or may not believe in! To ensure we don't accidentally destroy the planet, or turn all of reality into a giant carton of milk, the following guide will walk you through all the safety procedures required when working on the BIG-B.A.D. project.

SCP-4459 — The Ringmaster's Crown

SCP-4459: I was put there when Cahaya and I retired from the Circus.

Dr. Stewart: [Pause.] I was under the impression that the only way to do that was to be captured by us or if you were killed.

SCP-4459: It is never that simple, Doctor. The Circus was hard for some, that is true. But for most of us, it was Family, and the only one any of us ever really had. None of us ever really wanted to leave, but I knew that Cahaya would eventually have to.

Dr. Stewart: Why is that?

SCP-4459: Cahaya was mortal. Extended by Milk,.A by-product of Clown physiology, it functions as the sole nutritional source and has numerous documented anomalous properties. In its unrefined state, Clown's Milk is thought to be lethal to baseline humans. sure. But eventually they would grow old, and I would not. I always knew that falling in love with Cahaya was going to lead to loss, but that was never even once a consideration. It happened, and I have no regrets.

Dr. Stewart: So you retired. Both of you.

SCP-4459: Yes. Eventually. Cahaya stopped drinking the Milk, and I knew it was time. We requested it, and our request was granted. Cahaya could pass as a normal, but… I could not.

SCP-4475 — So Long, and Thanks for All the Milk

Information involving human apotheosis via the manipulation of milk-based archetypes should be researched and, when possible, suppressed.

SCP-4512 — A Goddamn Filthy Teleporting Party Pool

Other objects of note found within SCP-4512 include:

1 Apple II Computer
5 shirts with "Metal and Soul" written on the front in marker
1 tattered Polish flag
2 Motorola cell phones
4 bottles of Kirkland brand white wine (empty)
1 bag of milk

SCP-4513 — Pounded in the Butt with Moby Dick by my IRS W-2 Tax Form

After SCP-4513 consumes such a form of media, rather than the expected output of shredded paper, it will produce a watery substance superficially resembling milk. This substance (SCP-4513-B) changes the narrative structure of any literary media it is exposed to. These alterations result in a text that more closely resembles the media SCP-4513-B was formed from (in style and prose).

SCP-4600 — Debt

The most reliable means of cancelling SCP-4600 is a brief, informal exchange of drinks. The most effective are water, wine, milk or beer. Such drink must be presented freely, with no expectation of reward.

SCP-4671 — Clarky the Clown

Dr. Pierre: I'm so sorry to hear that. You know what? I'll have you get a strawberry milk shake later to cheer you up? How's that?

SCP-4677 — Coke, Cow, and Capitalism

Performing the fourth ritual described within SCP-4677-1 causes SCP-4677 to produce a brown viscous liquid from its organic valves, documented as SCP-4677-2. This substance is described in SCP-4677-1 as "Auðumbla's Milk" and was a key ingredient in the original Coca-Cola formula. Consumption of untreated SCP-4677-2 leads to an increase in dopamine levels followed by a chemical restructuring of the limbic system which causes an acute dependency on the substance. Modification to the nutritional intake of SCP-4677 can lead to the creation of various potencies of SCP-4677-2 (see Interview 4677/2).

SCP-4711 — The Inconvenience Store

D-13967 exits the store six minutes later with one half-gallon of skim milk two days past its sell-by date, and complains to researchers that he “hates skim milk.”

SCP-4719 — Cat-train

Uncommon. A Tanker-type carriage with 1 or 2 pegs in the roof, which can be removed. The prism is hollow and sometimes contains a liquid that is either pasteurized milk, crude oil, fresh water, or [REDACTED]. The contents of these carriages are not considered "gifts".

SCP-4739 — It's Just Spoiled Milk. I Promise.

SCP-4739 is a 3.8-liter container of 2% reduced fat milk. The printed expiration date is December 31st, 2018.

SCP-4751 — Bed Angel

3 minutes after the manifestation, SCP-4751 returned to the room with a baby bottle filled with milk, presumably obtained from the kitchen of the residence. SCP-4751 approached the subject and gently massaged his philtrum, humming a song in an unidentifiable language during the process. After the subject regained consciousness, SCP-4751 proceeded to feed the subject using the previously obtained items.

SCP-4802 — Dirty Birdy

Joseph Wiegel: "I saw it first out in the milking parlor. Right there on the dead oak by the door. Noticed it, not saw it, sorry."

Agent Effinger: "It's fine. What drew your attention?"

Joseph Wiegel: "There was this bird about 5am. Sparrow, I think. Sitting in the tree doin' what birds do. I was just about to pass into the milking parlor when I heard a real short pained yip come from over by the tree. Like someone kicked the dog; real sharp soundin'. Anyway, so I stop and back up, look over there where I saw it. Nothin' but the bird in the tree. Little shit just ruffles up like I'm the rude one fer lookin' and then he does it again. 'FUCK YOU!', the little shit screams. Shook my head and moved on. Cows needed milkin'. and I don't have time for that nonsense."

SCP-4835 — Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef With Beef

Description: SCP-4835 is a sapient cow hand puppet. It has the ability to communicate with humans telepathically as well as to comprehend spoken words. SCP-4835 is mobile and travels by expelling large quantities of milk from the opening in which a hand would be inserted during use as a regular puppet. This milk is entirely non-anomalous and is currently consumed by personnel working at Site-74.

SCP-4895 — George stood alone.

12/2/18
ever since john and yoko got ahold of my lego collection, i think im kind of envying them. i dont think they know where they are, but theyre definitely smart. I'm writing in front of a mirror right now and I'm watching john milk yoko. its simple. comforting. why cant that be me? the farmer, not the cow.

SCP-4918 — Bergentruckung

But somehow, they improve. I saw a child, who had been turning blue for the last three days, stand up and start dancing with him. Lungs that could barely breathe a day before sang and laughed. Hands that popped like cereal in milk were writing letters to their parents.

SCP-4960 — Why the Foundation Funded a Hentai to Awaken a Sumerian Love Goddess (OR: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Kedesh-Nanaya)

O, Kedesh-Nanaya, worthy daughter of An, unsurpassed in ladyship, from whose lips flow forth honey and wine:

SCP-4981 — Unexplained MOOvement

Incident 2017-02-14

Foundation Interaction: Dr. Holden escorted into SCP-4981 by security personnel.

Event: The bovine matter suspended in the air was transformed into a crude representation of a human heart. The structure then pulsated in a heartbeat-like rhythm, which expelled a combination of blood, digestive fluids, and milk from the openings representing the aorta and pulmonary artery.

Notes: This structure began to move towards the research team after formation, causing Dr. Holden to express high levels of disgust towards SCP-4981. Following this, the object ceased all movement and fell to the ground.

Series 6

« Directory »

SCP-5131 — D-13131

AS: There was a feeling of pressure, and I couldn’t breathe, like I was at the bottom of the ocean. There was a sound - like milk being poured on cereal.

sophia.aic: That’s very unusual.

AS: After a second, I realized that was my bones cracking. I could feel them cracking.

SCP-5168 — Go to Sleep

Once the child is in bed, other instances perform various actions in presumed attempts to make the child return to sleep, these commonly include:

Giving the child cookies and a warm glass of milk if such items are available

SCP-5216 — Even More Good Eats

Ingredients: 66 lemons, 1L milk, 1L honey, 1.5L crude oil
Dish Name: Lemon-de-Mons

SCP-5413 — Apavitr; Or, I Stared Into A Godless Hole

Attempting to empty a nearby water pitcher causes a rose-colored mixture to dispense, able to flow past what the pitcher can contain. Testing has revealed it to be a mix of Amrit, goat's milk, and blood.

SCP-5485 — [citation needed]

Within twelve hours, MTF personnel were able to successfully locate and explore the now-submerged Site. Of note was the defacement of the facility's exterior with several crude drawings of machinery, fish, and seemingly-unrelated symbols (see right). Twelve mineral statues, composed primarily of calcium, were found seated at various tables in the Site's cafeteria displaying expressions of apparent anguish or laughter. In front of each was an identical meal tray possessing one ID Card, one carton of milk, and a goldfish. Said ID cards were found to belong to Site-5485 research personnel whose likeness' were depicted by the statues. No other personnel were found..[citation needed]

SCP-5499 — Cold Comfort

Date and Time (Estimated)	Damage	Observed Messages
February 2nd, 2005, 14:48	Technician █████'s birthday cake is covered in a series of uneven depressions, with a plastic fork stuck into its side. Additionally, a carton of milk has been nearly drained.	"Yeah this is the good stuff mhm"

SCP-5627 — The Hungry Caterpillar

Analysis of SCP-5627-2, the milky-white saccharine liquid secreted by SCP-5627-1, has established traces of psychotropic and hallucinogenic compounds. Its mechanism of action merits further study. SCP-5627-2 has been detected in aerosol form up to a 200 m radius of an SCP-5627-1.

SCP-5665 — Assblasting

Description: SCP-5665 is an anomalous variant of dairy cow capable of producing massive amounts of methane within their digestive system through unknown sources. Additionally, they can expel this gas through their anuses and ignite it, presumably using an unidentified flame-producing organ located within the lower digestive system. SCP-5665 instances are able to move in the same manner as a non-anomalous cow; however, they have been observed to instead favour propelling themselves via combustion of their anomalous flatulence. Despite the high temperatures and pressures SCP-5665 are subjected to, they appear to be unaffected physically by this method of transportation..As displayed in Addendum 5665.001, SCP-5665 instances are also immune to the effects of air resistance, including the rise in temperatures.

SCP-5665 generally exist in herds of between five and ten instances and are able to reproduce using the same methods as mundane cattle. Analysis of tissue gathered from deceased instances reveals that female instances are capable of producing non-anomalous milk. Instances also require a similar amount of food and drink to standard cattle.

Sacred Relic #5674 — To See What He Can See

If the blessing is heeded, Saint Hubertus will consume the offering and answer in kind, such that the conduit will become a sink for His Providence and foresight. Accepted offerings include cardamine, sage, nettles, tarragon, mulled wine, a cup of doe's milk, a prism, or a crucifix cast in antimony by the hand of the invoker.

SCP-5826 — Deadly Deep Diving

SCP-5856 — Social Interaction

R5856/4: Bulwark Street Station. This is a shared common area, where you may mingle with the other members of CT-5856. It is outfitted with a coal scuttle and tanning salon. There are complimentary supplies of powdered milk, your favourite food. You dislike others eating your favourite food, and often make this known.

SCP-5899 — Cowspiracy

SCP-5899: Listen, I don't know if I can make you think otherwise, but cows… they don't exist. They just don't. There's no proof. They don't exist…

(Silence)

SCP-5899: But they should.

Series 7

« Directory »

SCP-6028 — Unprecedented Times

And yet, my children will not need me the less should these things happen. My grandmother did not need her family the less, as she told me. So should I find my way back to them, I cannot change the mind of the prince, but yet I can pray. I can spin them thread regardless of the shadow of war, and they will need to be clothed. I can tend the goats even though I be afeared, and they will need milk and meat.

SCP-6078 — Peekaboo Island

There was finally Queen Caomha, who reigned longest, second only to Uma. Finding herself unable to bear children, Caomha sought advice from a witch, who offered a solution in the form of a silver seed. Caomha was instructed to plant this seed on the night of the next full moon, before feeding it three drops of milk, and eating just one petal from the resulting flower. The queen did as advised, and by morning found a silver flower in the royal garden. Despite the witch's advice, Caomha found the petal so delicious that she decided to eat all twelve at once. By the following month, Caomhe's belly grew so large as to leave her bedridden. She gave birth to a total of twelve daughters, each of whom had green hair as a result of their supernatural origin. Caomha then died from exhaustion, and Dyrmud did not marry again.

SCP-6114 — Returning to Our Roots

ATTEMPT #1

Deity name: "Hathor"

SCP-6129 — It Was Right Here

Test 6129-007

Countermeasure: leaving an offering in the form of a basket of fruit and milk in order to appease the fairies.

Is this how you fix things

SCP-6248 ⁠— The White Phlegm of Yvith

SCP-6248-α is the White Phlegm of Yvith, which gushes from SCP-6248. Its material composition is unknown. It is a liquid, thicker than water yet thinner than oil, colored white and sweet upon the tongue. Should it be transported away from SCP-6248, it shall turn putrid and sour in the time of three days. It shall no longer be safe for any to consume.

SCP-6291 — Craving Red Velvet

SCP-6308 — Over there, the Sun never sets

As such, living with these people in Rhodesia gives us a perspective we've never seen before… Do you know how these Rhodesians made their cream? They made a bag of sorts out of a piece of wild animal skin that they sewed together to replace our blenders, poured the milk into this bag, tied it tightly, and shaken the milk from each end until it became cream; however, due to the poor output of this method, they don't eat much of the cream, instead smearing most of it on their bodies, selling the rest to us. In all seriousness, I am trying to get in on the act and join their production. Should I succeed, it will be of great benefit to our research in ethnography; the Rhodesians, at the same time, will also be raised as the new Homo sapiens rhodiensis.

SCP-6353 — Meles Stella

SCP-6353-1: I look forward to working with you. You may call me by my name rather than your designation. Translated to English, it is Milk Of The Earth, or Milk From The Soil.

SCP-6360 — The Basilisk

Addendum 3.1 : Relationship with locals
The locals in the mountains have been observed leaving food for the creature as offerings. These include livestock, bryndza.a Slovak sheep milk cheese made mainly in Slovakia, but also in Romania, Moldova, Poland, Russia, Ukraine, Serbia, Hungary and part of Moravia (Moravian Wallachia) in Czech Republic. Bryndza cheese is creamy white in appearance, known for its characteristic strong smell and taste. as well as other oily foods.

SCP-6365 — Milk on Sundays

SCP-6383 — The One True Anomaly

An instance of cane toad that when presented with a bowl of milk every ten hours consecutively for three months will vocalise the phrase “I prefer soy” in Russian (Note: Testing confirmed the toad to not actually be lactose-intolerant).

SCP-6393 — Objectification

She enters the building. The walls are layered thick with endometrial tissue, luscious and well vascularised. The air is sickly sweet with the smell of milk and vanilla estrogen. On the floor, there is grainy menstrual blood all the way up to her ankles.

SCP-6412 — What We Remember

[ The team enters the building. Dr. Allegre notes a pungent smell of nectar and milk. ]

SCP-6454 — The Painting That Ate Paris, Texas

SCP-6454 can be fed pretty much anything on hand, with the following exceptions:

Milk products.Lactose intolerance.

SCP-6468 — pvp potion by dado

The Foundation is monitoring for reports of civilians affected by SCP-6468. All affected civilians are to be taken into Foundation custody, force-fed 1 m³ of cow's milk, and released after confirmation that anomalous effects have ceased.

SCP-6473 — anti-tiredness pills

DESCRIPTION: SCP-6473 denotes a vial with a single sticker on it, reading "when tired" [sic], and containing 28 bright white pills, each ~2 cm long. The only substance found in said pills is pure Merino sheep milk.

SCP-6481 — Nipple Centipedes

In the middle of the chamber, a colossal SCP-6481 instance (6481-ALPHA) jockeys pods by the meticulous use of hundreds of legs in tandem. Each pod contains a human with a fatty body plan and elongated, slender limbs. Body proportions are roughly adult. The humans are nude and inactive, with inflamed chests pulsating rhythmically and facial cavities covered in paste.

6481-ALPHA is immersed in an opaque white substance containing a mixture of water, C₁₂H₂₂O₁₁-rich carbohydrates, lipids, protein, and other, trace minerals. It wades in a pool of unknown depth, masking additional submerged legs. Its thorax measures at least 15 m.

SCP-6542 — The Virgin Dairy

If allowed to cover the entire surface of the milk, the lactoderm will begin transmuting into cheese, which will continue unless a subject is submerged within..Upon being submerged during transmutation, the cheese within SCP-6542 will revert back to sheep milk. The exact processes surrounding this phenomenon remain unknown. Should the entirety of the milk currently held within SCP-6542 be transmuted into cheese, a RAPTURE event will manifest. During this period, large quantities of non-anomalous milk, far exceeding the tub's volume, will flow from SCP-6542. RAPTURE events typically last 1-2 hours, with SCP-6542 releasing upwards of 300,000 liters of milk and/or cheese from within its container.

SCP-6553 — The One-Horned Demon

Addendum 6553.2:
Research into the origins of the SCP-6553 phenomenon lead to the discovery of an abandoned suburban home. The home's basement had been the base of operations for a cult formed in the late 50's whose goal was to summon Dinkin² and trap it allowing all cult members to live forever off its milk.

SCP-6587 — Medieval Bestiary

Of the Peregrine

Of the many curious animals found in the untamed wilds of Terra Australis, none are so strange in appearance as the proud peregrine, which is the enemy of the tactless and uncouth. These creatures possess the bill of a duck, the body of an otter, and the tail of a beaver, and are said to be the only beasts in Creation that both make milk and lay eggs. The peregrine restricts his movements to riversides and lakes, feeding on shrubs and small fish. The peregrine poses no harm to men should they approach him, provided they afford him his due reverence.

SCP-6659 — METAGNOSTIC

ACTIVATION NUMBER: 003
TOTEMIZED OBJECT: 2% Milk, one carton; crucifix.
WORSHIP GROUP: Disciples of St Bernard in the Path of the Saviour.
RESULTS: Successful identification and acceleration of memetic construct.

NOTES: Due to the worship group's extensive historic cultural footprint, the Foundation is currently engaged in an ongoing attempt to alter the mythology concerning St. Bernard to conflate with common Christian doctrine. This has included the canonization of St. Bernard as a Christian Saint and the proliferation of artworks depicting the Lactatio Bernardi that stylistically imitate Medieval and Renaissance artists.

SCP-6705 — The Bicameral Milk

== UPDATE ==

As of 31 December 2025, the Samawah Facility is 65 kilometres in diameter and still undergoing construction. Moosphere representative Ayad al-Dulaimi is elected as the Speaker of the Council of Representatives of Iraq. In his victory speech, he notably quoted the Quran as follows: “And indeed, for you in grazing livestock is a lesson. We give you drink from what is in their bellies – between excretion and blood – pure milk, palatable to drinkers (16:66).”

SCP-6771 — Man Who Can't See Milk

It is the principal effort of the Foundation to ensure SCP-6771 cannot see milk.

SCP-6847 — The Ambassalador

6847: What? Did I make a misteak and go through the wrong milk carton? Am I not speaking to the CEO of humanity?

BASSETT: CEO of humanity? We are humans, if that's what you're asking.

6847: Oh thank goodness, that would've bean terrible if I went into the wrong world.

SCP-6918 — The Moments That Make Up a Dull Day

I've managed to convince my therapist I'm not crazy. Sure, I'll have to do it every single time I see her, but it's nice to have someone to confide in. Her middle name is Gloria, and when she was in high school, she'd bring a metal water bottle with milk in it during tests because it felt soothing to her. That's the information she gave me yesterday (it still feels wrong to call it, like, "the previous today" or stuff like that) to convince her. Did she have that planned? Has she had to use that code information before or something?

SCP-6931 — Though the Sky, It Was Grey

It descends the stairs, taking exactly eight steps,.SCP-6931 will jump or return up steps to meet this number. before sitting at the table and consuming a bowl of milk soup and potatoes, with a piece of bread.

SCP-6970 — foundation that tortures you

He's currently dating a nice lady, Ms. Genevieve, interior designer and florist. Likes milk and cookies. We haven't used this information on him yet, so it should be effective, since psyche tells me he's a family man. Remembers to go to every recital and game. It's a miracle, since he travels all the time for his job.

Series 8

« Directory »

SCP-7148 — שאול זבת חלב ודבש

When a person suffering from dehydration or starvation comes into contact with SCP-7148, they are given a supply of goat's milk stored in a leather pouch together with a tiny seed-shaped white substance wrapped in leather and sinew (hereby referred to as SCP-7148-FH and -FM).

SCP-7314 — Horn of Plenty

DAIRY - SCP-6542 is connected to CORNUCOPIA by a pipeline that runs through a permanent Way at GLOBE's edge. Milk is continually pumped out of the anomaly and into CORNUCOPIA through this pipe. Sensors on the Marzek side of the Way are programmed to detect any RAPTURE events produced by SCP-6542 and automatically close the Way to prevent SCP-7314 from flooding.

SCP-7459 — A Third Scion To Chase The Sky

██/██/82: SCP-7459-C is transferred to Area-12 and placed in an incubation chamber. SCP-7459-C refuses to consume any synthetic milk given to it, subsequent attempts are made utilizing preserved milk from its deceased mother, although SCP-7459-C seemed more interested, it still refused to consume it. Forced feeding was authorized for a period of 4 weeks.

SCP-7800 — Samsara

Date	Theological Entity Involved	Events
29/11/2011	SCP-6542	A column of milk erupts from SCP-6542 despite the absence of cheese that normally indicates a RAPTURE event, leaving behind an otherwise empty mundane marble vat. The column penetrates the ceiling of the Marzec Church, where it is observed travelling at supersonic speeds towards the North Pole without significant mass loss. Visual contact lost due to poor weather conditions over the North Sea.
29/11/2011	SCP-5998	Milk column is sighted by personnel at Outpost-5998 in the North Pole. It coalesces into a humanoid form before slowly approaching SCP-5998. It places an arm onto the right shoulder of SCP-5998. All Type-I Empyrean entities manifesting during this incident appear to cower before the humanoid mass of milk. Personnel report hearing a faint exchange of words before SCP-5998 lifts its head. All entities promptly vanish after 12 seconds. SCP-5998 and SCP-6542 have been redesignated as Neutralized.

SCP-7850 — CApTain Buddy and the vicious planet of the Apekin!

SCP-7995 — And Wash This Place Clean from Sin

Need milk

HIDE MAINLIST ARTICLES

Our colleagues with the International Branches of the SCP Foundation have also encountered lactic phenomena. The following SCP Item documents have been cross-referenced from the International SCP Foundation Network.

SHOW INTERNATIONAL ARTICLES

HIDE INTERNATIONAL ARTICLES

International SCPs

SCP-CN-675 — The Great Kyet Khaewt Device

Pipe walls secrete liquid determined to be malted milk.
… (Mention of a different usage of milk in the anomaly below)
corresponding to the “Hershey's” milk chocolate product

SCP-CN-2405 — Ronald McDonald

According to SCP-CN-2405's parents, SCP-CN-2405 refused normal breast milk and baby food, and was able to maintain normal growth subsisting only on Coca-Cola and fried chicken. This continued until SCP-CN-2405 developed permanent teeth, after which SCP-CN-2405 was able to chew foods and consume a normal human diet; however, it continued to prefer Coca-Cola and fried chicken.

SCP-CN-2510 — Metanormalcy

And like this, normalcy once again rose out of the shadow of Metanormalcy, like a baby leaving the warmth of its mother's womb.

(corresponds to the Motherhood section, due to the entire life of a person being an implied allegory for how the multiverse and lower narratives are remade) (Milk chocolate was mentioned in SCP-3500, a linked anomaly, making both technically 1.4. Ritualism [Mundane])

SCP-ES-122 - greatGreenishGreenery v.1.01

Test No. 27	Plant: Instances of SCP-ES-041
Modified file: « fruits\main.fall » Increased nutritional value.
The plant produced several instances of SCP-ES-041-2 ten times larger than the original. When ingested, the exposed subjects presented a rapid increase in the level of sugar, vitamins, cholesterol and proteins in the blood, leading them to hepatorenal failure with deterioration of the arterial irrigation of the brain and myocardium. In spite of this, the oxygenation in the blood was sufficient to maintain breathing. At one point, the aforementioned levels stopped rising, maintaining a stable point (which would otherwise have started the process of putrefaction). The blood of the subject was transmuted, becoming a whitish gel with a composition similar to human milk but much denser. The subject suffered a notable cognitive deterioration and, despite remaining conscious, is unable to communicate.

Test No. 27

Plant: Instances of SCP-ES-041

Modified file: « fruits\main.fall » Increased nutritional value.

The plant produced several instances of SCP-ES-041-2 ten times larger than the original. When ingested, the exposed subjects presented a rapid increase in the level of sugar, vitamins, cholesterol and proteins in the blood, leading them to hepatorenal failure with deterioration of the arterial irrigation of the brain and myocardium. In spite of this, the oxygenation in the blood was sufficient to maintain breathing. At one point, the aforementioned levels stopped rising, maintaining a stable point (which would otherwise have started the process of putrefaction). The blood of the subject was transmuted, becoming a whitish gel with a composition similar to human milk but much denser. The subject suffered a notable cognitive deterioration and, despite remaining conscious, is unable to communicate.

SCP-236-DE — A Cup of Love

Tests concluded that the drinking chocolate adapts to the respective subject's preferences. Variations included some without sugar, sweetened with honey, with dark or white chocolate, with cinnamon, Christmas seasoning, chili, with apple aroma, Pumpkin Spice, with marshmallows or with cream and sugar sprinkles. For subjects unable to consume regular drinking chocolate,.For example, during strict vegan diets or lactose intolerance. the milk got replaced by a vegan alternative, like almond or oat milk. For subjects not favoring chocolate or are unable to tolerate it, hot spiced milk appears as an alternative.

SCP-292-DE — Sweet Easter

A subsequent examination revealed that the subject's bones were coated with an unknown layer that gave the bones additional stability and hardness without sacrificing flexibility. It was even found that this layer could regenerate damage to the bones within seconds..The subject, however, experienced an increased appetite for milk and dairy products as well as other potassium-containing products in return.

SCP-002-PT — Women's Magazine

SCP-002-PT-B consists of characteristics fundamentally contrary to those of SCP-002-PT-A, such as:

Epidermis with texture and appearance similar to various solidified beverages and crystallized fruits, including but not limited to milk, coffee, chocolate, peach, vanilla and cinnamon;

SCP-ZH-048 — Sword & Sorcery and Tea & Magic Hands

Object: Arcanum of Resurrection
Appearance: Golden liquid with soft glow
Procedure: Comparing the results of different drink volumes, different additives, differing sweetness levels, and different ice levels after being given to different subjects.
Result: The flavor was described as identical to milk tea. Consuming the potion showed no noticeable effects on subjects. [DATA EXPUNGED] the subjects or [INSUFFICIENT CLEARANCE] did not produce the expected results. Adjusting sweetness level, ice levels, or choices of additives led to the same result.

SCP-003-INT — Wishful Chocolate

lactose-free butter and milk from happy cows

HIDE INTERNATIONAL ARTICLES

Although some lactic phenomena have proven mundane after more rigorous analysis, this is not for lack of trying. The elusive nature of dairy can still provide deep insights into the nature of human experience and the secrets of the Cosmos.

SHOW EXPLAINED ARTICLES

Not every encounter with the Anomalactic has been so straightforward. Select SCP Items have well exceeded hazardous levels on both the Naismith Farcicality Scale and Holt–Panagiotopolous Sass Threshold, and have been sequestered from the Foundation at large. These items exist solely under the purview of the Department of Other. As such, we have not been able to assess these documents for connection to the seven lactic taxonomies.

Although communication between the Departments of Other and Lactic Anomalies has remained limited, the Department of Other has agreed to share a set of documents relevant to our purposes. These are as follows.

SCP Foundation

Secure, Contain, Protect

Prepared by Project GALAXIAS

Department of Lactic Anomalies

Lactic Anomalies

A Taxonomical Approach

1.1 Livestock

Related SCP Articles | Livestock

1.2 Motherhood

Related SCP Articles | Motherhood

1.3 Ritualism (Extramundane)

Spiritual Practices

Related SCP Articles | Ritualism (Extramundane)

1.4 Ritualism (Mundane)

Domestic Practices

Related SCP Articles | Ritualism (Mundane)

2.1 Cheese

Milk Byproduct

Related SCP Articles | Cheese

2.2 Clowns

Homo sapiens prodigiosus

Related SCP Articles | Clowns

2.3 Sometimes, milk just shows up.

It's probably not that big a deal, though.

Related SCP Articles | Incidental

TEST 11

Further Research on Lactic Anomalies

Series 1

Series 2

Series 3

Series 4

Series 5

Series 6

Series 7

Series 8

TEST 11