Mfw

rating: +59+x

Anonymous 06/20/2022 (Mon) 16:40:02 #05286786

This is terrible anons please help me out here

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>be me
>be 17
>3/10 basement dwelling failure
>have smokin hot 9/10 goth gf totally out of my league
>its going well, been on like three dates
>my dumb-fuck brain comes up with a "unique" plan for a date
>goths usually like ghost shit
>go on parawatch
>lot of crackheads here performing satanic rituals or summoning ghosts
>probs all bullshit
>find a post that sounds simple

aliteralpoopdemon 06/16/2022 (Thurs) 24:01:46 #04410382


Want to summon a demon for shits 'n giggles?

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The Correct Design

1. Get some salt. The higher the quality the better the demon.
2. Get candles, any will do.
3. Draw a pentagram with the salt.
4. Light candles at each of the 5 points of the star.
5. Sit at the center of your pentagram.
6. Chant Tawagoto Akuma three times in a row.
It may take a while for the demon to be summoned so dont get your balls in a twist lol


>parents out of town for the weekend
>invite gf to mi casa later that night and I go to walmart and buy shit
>we're sitting in my room on the floor across from each other
>i draw a pentagram on the floor in salt (got that kosher shit, its not cheap)
>im nervous as fuck so im holding my breath
>i light some cheap ass half used candles from bed bath and beyond we have below the sink
>its like 3 am by that point (witching hour aaaa so spooky)
>perform the ritual
>she refuses to chant with me
>…
>find out its cause she finds it legit scary
>megawin.png
>later in the night
>watching netflix
>full on creep out show
>she huddles in my arms
>"Don't worry baby. I'll protect you…" (¬‿¬)
>start to make my move
>i notice im about to blast ass
>uhoh.jpeg
>stand my ground
>the blast doors have given in and the stormtroopers have gone through
>much more than that
>mfw i shit myself
>she notices
>fuckingchristthepain.jpeg
>"Uh… sorry anon, it's getting a bit late. See you Monday at school!"
>sprints out past me
>fast forward to this morning
>dont see her anywhere in the school
>fuck i might have scared her off
>come back home, mom confronts me
>"Anon what the fuck did you do to your carpet?"
>ohshit.jpeg
>realize i let the fucking salt sit the entire weekend
>now there is a big stain on my carpet i cant explain to my family
>mfw gf left the school just because i made an ass of myself
>mfw i realize im a gullible shitbag who trusts people on the internet
what the fuck do i do now

aliteralpoopdemon 06/20/2022 16:55:12 #8711234


get fucked lmao…


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