Mathematics is the fundamental language of the universe.
Throughout my many years as a mathematician, there is a single phrase I have heard far more often than any other: "I can't do math."
Rather innocent, isn't it? Many of you in this room have probably said as much at least once in your lives. In most cases, it is a form of self-degradation: "I am not good enough to ever understand mathematics." Perhaps you deemed it a lost cause after one too many subpar report cards in middle or high school, or maybe you had a mean-spirited math professor that tormented you during your undergraduate studies. Some of you might even consider it a badge of honor of sorts: "Math is useless anyway." "Thank God that's not me!" "Kudos for doing the job that nobody else wants." "I went into humanities to avoid that number crap!"
Even as I recite these quotes, I hear chuckles and scoffs echoing across the room. To that, I say: what if it was literacy instead? Would you laugh if I said I didn't know how to pronounce my R's until I was 11? What if I deemed myself intrinsically incapable of reading after one of the numerous setbacks I experienced during my childhood? If I said "Haha, I escaped writing DBQs by becoming a mathematician!", would you consider that to be a "badge of honor"? Tell me, how could ignorance of any kind be something to celebrate?
Mathematics is the fundamental language of the universe. It is what separates formal research from casual inquiry, understanding from intuition, and logic from belief. It is, in many ways, the boundary between the mundane and the anomalous: our best defense against the terrible unknowns of the universe that, without our intervention, would sunder the Veil without a second thought.
But this isn't about using scare tactics to inflate our department's importance and yearly budget, is it? No, this is about you—yes, you—and how sentiments like "I can't do math" are in fact the only thing holding you back. You are not irreparably broken, forever eluded by the complexities of numbers and data. You are not stupid, nor a failure, nor "built wrong" in any way for not understanding how math all fits together. Just as I overcame my difficulties with reading and writing, you can improve your relationship with mathematics. Approach it with an open mind, and afford yourself some kindness and patience instead of immediately jumping to self-degradation. Because one day, when you look back at your progress, you'll realize that maybe you could do math all along—and maybe, just maybe, you'll see the beauty inherent in all mathematics, just as I have.
—Dr. Evelyn King, Math Department Head, delivering her introductory speech for the mathematics segment of the Foundation's 2025 Annual Research Symposium
Overview
The Department of Mathematics serves as the backbone of the Foundation's many endeavors in the empirical sciences. The Department's primary function is the study, taming, and weaponization of the numerous mathematical anomalies that eat away at the logical underpinnings of the natural world. Secondarily, they also provide crucial educational and computational support for Foundation personnel involved in research, containment, and logistical efforts.
Historically, many divisions within the Foundation have outsourced tedious computational work to the Mathematics Department; without a fully-fledged identity of their own, the department faded into the background, becoming an essential yet invisible node in the Foundation's vast web of bureaucracy and infrastructure. However, as more and more mathematical anomalies were discovered and contained, the need for an independent body of anomalous mathematics researchers became apparent. The research-centric Esoteric Mathematics subdivision was founded in 2010, and its more aggressive cousin, the Tactical Mathematics subdivision, was formally established in 2020.
The Math Department is based out of Site-Σ, but many smaller pockets of math researchers are spread across the Foundation's various facilities. Many of its members enjoy the luxuries of a relaxed, relatively niche community of like-minded academics—but in light of the department's recent expansions, the possibility of danger and excitement is always just around the corner.
Documents
If you're interested in reading more math articles on this site, see below.
Math Department Pages
| Title | Author | Subdivision |
|---|---|---|
| SCP-033 | Esoteric | |
| SCP-1313 | Esoteric | |
| SCP-4314 | Applied/Esoteric | |
| SCP-5650 | Tactical | |
| SCP-6172 | — | |
| SCP-7336 | Esoteric | |
| SCP-7706 | Esoteric | |
| SCP-7865 | Applied | |
| SCP-8153 | Esoteric | |
| SCP-9153 | Esoteric | |
| Daevite Mathematics: Complex Numbers | Applied | |
| Final Lecture | — | |
| Mandatory Lecture on Significant Figures | — | |
| Necessities | Esoteric |
Theta Prime Pages
All Pages Tagged 'Mathematical'
Subdivisions
The oldest, biggest, and most well-funded subdivision of the three, the Department of Applied Mathematics is responsible for the utilization of most nonanomalous mathematics currently in use across the Foundation.
Function: In addition to providing relevant Foundation staff an education in nonanomalous mathematics that surpasses most math university programs in quality, members of the Applied Mathematics subdivision are employed across countless sites to assist in accounting, containment, logistic, and research endeavors.
Relations: The Applied Math Department maintains rivalries with the Department of Analytics and the Department of Physics; both have been known to poach new recruits from Applied Math for their own projects, but the Physics Department's all-too-frequent lack of mathematical rigor makes them their number one rival. Within the Math Department, they also resent the Esoteric Math subdivision for their elitist attitudes and steer clear of anything involving Tactical Math out of self-preservation.
On the other hand, the subdivision maintains very close ties with the Artificial Intelligence Applications Division and frequently collaborates on projects with them—so much so that it was nearly named the Department of Computational Mathematics.
History: The origins of the Department of Applied Mathematics have been all but lost to time and bureaucratic disorganization, but there are records of its predecessor's activities dating back to at least the 1950s before it went defunct at the end of 1959. The subdivision was reestablished in the 1980s after significant advancements in the Foundation's technological capabilities, and since then has spearheaded Project Athena: an initiative to improve the Foundation's overall standards in math; their efforts have culminated in the creation of the mathematical superintelligence Athena.aic.