| MAGNUM OPUS |
|---|
| Byㅤ |
| Published on 15 May 2026 15:25 |
I know you ate that baby.
Oh calm down I’m kidding. Every Mage worth their wand has detractors, especially ones applying to this position.
But seriously what the fuck is wrong with you?
Kidding again! Sorry, most of my colleagues don’t even visit me let alone any new applicants.
Yes, it’s lonely. That's the thing with being the strongest you see, and I don’t say that to gloat. Frankly, at this point, it’s an objective fact. The common folk are too scared to ask the oh so wise and powerful Alessandro Van Serker for a damn coffee! Ugh, that probably would’ve meant more if I had a lineage worth a damn…
Regardless, I’ve heard all the praises and cheers from all the people and ghosts that come and go through here yknow? And it never feels good, maybe it did a couple decades ago but those aren’t the years you’ll miss when yer’ my age kid.
What you’ll miss is the weakness, you’ll miss the wacky bullshit you did with your friends to sneak some weed past the guards. You’ll miss the terrible dishwasher spell that takes waaay too much mana to use. Know that I’m not saying this to just ramble on, well I’m not just rambling anyway…Nevertheless, ignorance is bliss and weakness is success. Burn that into your skull.
(And no I’m not the strongest mage in history. That title probably belongs to some no-name Djinn that predates humanity or whatever it doesn’t matter.)
Now, enough talk. Let's take a look at your file.
Let me see here…alright top of yer class…won 18 official Wizarduels…(Ugh, I still can't believe they call 'em that.) potential in mercenary work…application to Applied Combat…talent in particulate magic and…..specialty in fire magic.
Wow, looks like we got a prodigy in our hands. Do be warned that you’ll need a lot more than that to run a city. (Yes you’ll be doing legislative bullshit eventually that’s just how the council is.) But hey if you find yourself to be…uh, what do kids these days call em again?
Larpers, yes! If you fancy yourself a larper of the Norse variety, then Valravn gives great benefits for a loyalty fee! But you've made up your mind it seems, may I ask why?
Ah, well—that figures. It's cliché, but I was like you once, every mage *cough cough* Thaumaturge…thinks like that when they start. You know what? Let me just tell you a story to get the point across.
So you know that white spellcircle near 67th street? The one with flowers? Yeah, it’s quite standout compared to most Anchored locals in Three Portlands. Not because it’s any useful mind you, the Mayor just Anchored it for my birthday with help from the Soot Man. Alright, so as you might have guessed. I built that thing, the rather small thing that it is now.
Now imagine for a second. ISCUT Arena-4. Eurtec’s 13th national tournament. Grand finals in the seventh Magus bracket.
Sounds like a fun time? You bet it was. Made most of my remaining friends and enemies there, first rocked my signature cape. And most importantly, my first loss.
There was this guy, forgot his name. No magic, no paratech, and certainly no self-preservation instinct. Fought in ways I could’ve never expected back then. I can’t even tell you how he did that in the first place, funnily enough, that tourney wasn’t televised. But it pushed me to my mental limits.
I didn’t lose the match, mind you. Beat the guy's skull into his spine right after round 4, guess we're all assholes eh? Regardless, that match gave me a different perspective. And I think even you know how important one’s perspective is to their magic.
That’s what the white circle is. A culmination of my obsession after that fight. A spell, no I guess "working" would be more accurate—that held all of my ambitions within itself.
What does it do? Well, if you’ve been listening to humanities—what that’s not what it’s called now? That’s really offensive actually? Well did you listen in class or—of course you didn’t yeah, mind. Forget it, Mordecai has always been a suit teacher. (I keep telling him to just follow his passions of Sushiblading but nooo…).
Okay, so there’s this thing you might call the Volstead Principle. We called something else back then (and if you think "humanities” is too offensive ooohh boy…)
Alright, the Volstead Principle is basically the inherent margin of eyeballing that exists in every spell. Think of the tone of speech in an incantation or the individual pen strokes in a magic circle. At the end of the day, it’s almost impossible to construct a magical working without it (be it either the flow of mana or individual competence.)
Of course, the white circle is an, no…the only exception to this rule. Do you even have the slightest idea of how many fuckin years I spent making that thing? Huh? More than I remember to be honest. I’ve been ambushed by interventions more times than bandits!
It wasn’t just mathematical exactness either. A perfect balance of ki, the luckiest spot for fung shui and karma. A soul membrane of the oldest familiar I could find in the Library. The best positioning to enhance mana synchronization and Akiva particle flow. (Hell that's when I discovered Akiva to be a frequency, they won't teach you that though.)
You get the point. It was my ultimate masterwork, a Magnum Opus if you will.
That's not an answer to your question? Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you what it does. Basically, the circle shoots a single fireball upwards every day.
Yes, that's it. No it was not easy, in fact the complete measurements for it roughly land around 6,900 pages which has been scientifically proven to be the greatest number.
What happened to it? Simple.
It didn't work. It was perfect on the first day…that didn't last. It looked perfect at first, but then I actually measured the results properly. It was off. It was almost always off. Sometimes it was one second too slow or fast, or sometimes the fireball itself wasn't perfect enough you get the idea. It was against everything I spent my life cultivating, and it also wasn't. The circle was paradoxical like that. If you see a pattern, it's gone the next day. Or it isn't because it was never there. That's what happens when you try to assign attributes to that which cannot be assigned.
Always. It's an unbeatable paradox in reality, and don't tell the spell I said that. Because it's contradictory to contradiction, it's also both and neither.
And that's what I'm getting at kid. All this magic stuff? Bullshit. Pretentious fucks they are, the Foundation knew it was dealing with the anomalous. Not just the fun and whimsy of the world or whatever. That’s why you need to separate yourself from the spells. Why you need to know who you are without all the gravitas of infamy. You’ll be consumed without it, left as a shallow husk of moral epiphanies and life-changing world views just to get stronger. Ground yourself and come back to me once you start actually believing in something.
Know this, to impose one's own ideals into reality, to deny the truth of your eyes, to cast a spell, that is the ultimate narcissism.
Application denied for now.
In this job, you serve the people. If you want anything to serve you, let it be the magic.
