LTE-7433-Goodrick-Kringle — "Serial Teleporting Ursine"

rating: +66+x


Due to the recent liquidation of the designated Threat Entity, this file's description is considered outdated. Revisions are in progress.


Threat Entity Database Entry

Threat ID:

LTE-7433-Goodrick-Kringle ("Serial Teleporting Ursine")

Authorized Response Level:

(Confirmed Destroyed, File Archived)

(Archived) Description:

A 5-meter-tall discolored,1 humanoid entity resembling a Ursus arctos horribilis specimen.

The threat does not appear to constantly exist in baseline reality; instead, it will periodically manifest in random households, specifically those containing underage humans, in California, United States of America; and spontaneously produce items and substances of undetermined nature or purpose (designated PTE-7433-Alfa through -Echo). The entity will then disappear 50 seconds later. What it does with these items or any targeted children during this period is unknown.

Mind-affecting properties are hypothesized, as abnormal behaviour in targets has been observed; involved children will be in a state of delirium, interacting with the items without hesitation. However, these suspected properties may be flawed, as adult witnesses report hearing screams in the initial seconds of the threat's appearance.

Footage of the entity does not yet exist. The only evidence of its existence consists of witness reports from parental figures and the items it leaves behind, PTE-7433-Alfa through -Echo.

Component objects left behind by the threat are as follows:

  • PTE-7433-Alfa - Partial instances of pulverized and genetically modified Avena sativa material, blended with traces of Rubus occidentalis. Paranormal qualities are unknown.
  • PTE-7433-Bravo - One (1) liter of lactal fluids, originating from a Bos taurus specimen. Paranormal qualities are unknown.
  • PTE-7433-Charlie - Hollow, hemispherical objects composed of ceramic. PTE-7433-Alfa, -Bravo and -Echo are always placed inside these objects. Paranormal qualities are unknown.
  • PTE-7433-Delta - Rectangular objects composed of cardboard, ingrained with certain iconography (see Document 7433-Delta Extended Analysis for further data). Paranormal qualities are unknown.
  • PTE-7433-Echo - Metal spoons. Paranormal qualities are unknown.

Rules of Engagement:

Not applicable. Threat entity successfully liquidated after Operation PEEK-A-BOO. (See related PHYSICS Record below.)



On 7-MAR-1985, High Command approved the performance of a specifically planned mission to liquidate LTE-7433-Goodrick-Kringle:

Liquidation Operation (Debrief)

Codename: Operation PEEK-A-BOO.

Operation Commander: General Amour B. Rolland (36271867/3S8)

Involved Strike Team: Strike Team 2434 ("String Snappers")

  • Agent "Banjo" (Leader)
  • Agent "Mandolin"
  • Agent "Ukulele"
  • Agent "Harp"

Mission: Liquidate KTE-7433-Goodrick.2

Background Assessment: Special Observer "Piedmont" noted certain undiscovered criteria that enables the threat's manifestation, specifically that:

  • Targeted children must be inside a room that can be defined as a kitchen.
  • The room must not contain any adults.
  • Targeted children must feel particularly hungry.

Operation Strategy: The operation will take place in a residence in Fountain Valley, California, United States; owned by the Hayden Family, who were negotiated to cooperate with Coalition forces. Strike Team members will be covertly stationed nearby the entrances of the home's kitchen, while all three children of the Hayden's (Edward, Tanya and Jennica Hayden) will be made to wait inside the room by Mrs. Josslyn Hayden.

The children are not to eat anything on the day of the operation, to induce hunger. Strike Team is to wait until the Threat Entity manifests, after which engagement is to be made. The Haydens' children are to remain unaware of the Strike Team's presence until the threat's appearance.

Results: See related mission log:

Recorded Mission Log:

Date: 9-MAR-1985 1315 (PDT)

Preamble: Footage taken from covert cameras inserted in the room.

<Excerpt begins>

<Edward, Tanya and Jennica Hayden are seated at the kitchen table silently. Tanya begins to speak.>

Tanya: <Yawn> When will mom let us out of here?

Edward: Ugh, I don't know. I'm so bored.

Jennica: Me too. Bored and hungry too.

Edward: Yeah. I wish we had some food.

Unidentified Voice: Do you feel like having a munchy, but can't find anything fun to snack on?

<The children unsuspectingly nod at the sudden voice of unknown origin.>

Unidentified Voice: Well do I have the solution for you!

<A line of pink sparkles enters the room through unknown means. It flies around the surrounding before spiralling nearby the kitchen table, exploding into white clouds and pink glitter. The smoke dissipates, revealing a pink bear, KTE-7433-Goodrick.>

KTE-7433: Why don't you try some Berry Bear's Raspberry Cereal!

<All children scream in unison:>

Children: It's Berry Bear! Yaaay!

KTE-7433: Haha! That's right kids.

<The entity performs a hand gesture, and through sparks of pink light and cloud, PTE-7433-Alfa through -Echo appear on the kitchen table.>

KTE-7433: This new addition in the Berry Bear Cereal line by Doctor Wondertainment3 now has twice the number of crunchy berry bits, giving you a sweet and healthy breakfast for you to enjoy! And that's not all. If you buy enough of Berry Bear's Raspberry Cereal, you might get a chance to find a free Doctor Wondertainment toy inside the box! Isn't that just wonde—?

Agt. Banjo: NOW!!

<Agent Banjo and Harp kick both of the doors to the kitchen, while Agent Ukulele and Mandolin break through the windows. They point all of their firearms toward the entity. The children begin to scream.>


Edward: <Voice cracking:> Who- Who are you guys?!

KTE-7433: <Backing away:> Woah, woah, woah! Hey, there's no need to get violent, friends! I- I'm just Berry Bear…

Agt. Ukulele: He's moving away! He's trying to escape!

Jennica: Don't hurt him!

Agt. Banjo: FIRE!

Tanya: NOO-!

<Their sub-machine guns open fire. The bullets pass easily through the entity's chest, making it fall over the table and breaking it in half as a result. The threat is bleeding profusely from several of its bulletholes. The children's cries increase in volume while they hold each other.>

Edward: <Crying:> WHY?!

KTE-7433: <Coughing blood> P-Please… I… I just make c-c-cereal… lo- <choking> …look.

<The threat weakly performs a gesture with its one hand. Pink sparkles of light briefly appear before PTE-7433-Alfa and -Bravo are manifested, launching right into Agent Ukulele. He gets drenched and covered in a mixture of milk and cereal.>

Agt. Ukulele: Ugh, my new suit!

<Ukulele pulls out a 12-gauge shotgun and shoots at the entity's head, combusting it into a burst of blood and brain-matter. Some portions of blood are splattered onto the children, causing more sobbing. Tanya faints.>

Agt. Mandolin: <Approaching entity:> Checking for life-signs.

Agt. Ukulele: <Chuckle> I love this job.


Agt. Ukulele: Shut up.

<Excerpt ends>

Aftermath: Entity liquidation confirmed. All members of the Hayden Family were put through memory-removal procedures and given compensation for all damages caused by the Strike Team. LTE-7433's corpse and remaining PTE-7433 components are being transported for examination. Operation is a success.

The remains of LTE-7433-Goodrick-Kringle contained nothing of note and were quickly incinerated.

The items formerly known as PTE-7433-Alfa through -Echo were revealed to not possess any paranormal properties in testing. All of them were also incinerated accordingly.

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