Boxercrat Solstice's Punchfolio (LORDXVNV's auth. pg.)
Boxercrat Solstice's Punchfolio (LORDXVNV's auth. pg.)
Published on 27 Aug 2021 02:40

rating: +55+x

Please see below for my project punchfolio. By my own reckoning, my work has led to the pugilification of over 803,420,609 naturally occurring Selachian Entities.

Unfortunately, the Centre seems to be suffering from some extra-universal contamination.

Personally, I blame my cousin for stealing my credentials and dumping his fanfiction on my work laptop.

If need be, I volunteer him for selachification and pugilation.

The Stories that Best Represent LORDXVNV

- SCP-8008 - Time Pervert

- SCP-6987 - Your Legally Entitled Coverage As An Employee of the SCP Foundation (Provided by Goldbaker-Reinz Ltd.)

They are the only insurer with a proven record when it comes to anomalous, esoteric, and extremely rare world-changing "black swan" events. They've got a most-likely anomalous model for forecasting the probability and impact of these kinds of events, which of course is proprietary. Rest assured, though — our best and our brightest have pored over every contract we've had with them and every payout in every year, and we can trust them to adhere to our contracts to the letter.

And of course, Goldbaker-Reinz will aid you in your mundane insurance needs as well.

We're so happy you decided to join our Foundation family, and we hope your career is a long and fruitful one.

- SCP-7997 - Corporate Apotheosis

SCP-7997, or "the company", is Brachistone Shoe Polish Company, a publicly-traded specialty shoe polish manufacturer which achieved apotheosis on July 23rd, 2021.

- These 5 Colleges are the Best for Learning Dark Powers! Number 1 Will SHOCK You!

We scoured the interwebz (even the magickal Dark Web) to put together these reviews of the 5 best colleges for studying Things Man Was Not Meant To Know.

An exploration of the "Broken Masquerade clickbait" genre.

- CCK-Class--Sorry, Original Character Interaction Story

"[DATA EXPUNGED]!" the legally-distinct cyborg samurai clad in dark armor shouted as he lunged for the Ring of Nibelung, deflecting the Foundation mad-scientist's (credentials: captain of Foundation Space Starship SCP-2063, mad scientist, grandfather) ontokinetic retroactive existence eraser fireball with his vibrating British science-wand as he did so.

Quite possibly the only tale to be the subject of a request for takedown via admin fiat.

- Deus Volt!

Mike Pence, Electric Karcist.


The Centre realized that one day soon, the future would look like selachians being punched in the face forever, and it knew it had to dream bigger. And I was there, leading the transformation.

It's been longer than that, and I'm not leaving any time soon. This is the best job a girl could ask for.

A format-screw for the Shark Punching Centre format. Featuring everyone's waifu, Iris Thompson.

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