Log of Non-Anomalous Items II: Sequels are Always Worse


rating: +32+x

Foreword: We found even more stuff that shows no signs of anomalous activity.

– Dr. █████ █████, Head of Research, Site ██


Item Description: A set of 67 logs.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Jimbo's Lumber Mill.
Current Status: Must be built into a new log cabin immediately.
Note: We're not paying to build you a new house Devin. - Dir. Micheals


Item Description: A DVD box set of season 1 of Spongebob.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Blockbuster Video.
Current Status: Site-12 break room.
Notes: Got this at a crazy low price when Blockbuster went out of business. Seriously, it was only 2 dollars, a steal. - Dr. Greene


Item Description: A poster for Spongebob season 1.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Blockbuster Video.
Current Status: Site-12 break room.
Notes: They gave me this for free! Along with my purchase of the DVD box set. - Dr. Greene


Item Description: Not a calendar with crosses on all days up to and including January 25th that doesn't have "Opposite Day" written on it. You don't have to say the opposite of what is true when talking about this object.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Sold from a store that does not sell calendars.
Current Status: Kept in an unsecure storage locker at somewhere other than a Foundation Site.
Notes: No you don't? You can talk about this calendar normally. - Dir. Michaels
See!? - Junior Researcher Holmes


Item Description: A hat.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Hat rack at Site-65.
Current Status: Hat rack at Site-65.


Item Description: An empty storage locker. When any object is placed into the locker and the locker is closed, the object becomes invisible. Investigation into the inside of the box while it is closed using sonar technology shows the object is still present inside the locker while it is invisible.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Built along with the rest of Site-54.
Current Status: Kept in an even larger storage locker.


Item Description: A pack of Spongebob gummy candies.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Blockbuster Video.
Current Status: Kept in Dr. Greene's desk drawer.
Notes: I also got these gummies. They were actually pretty expensive at 5 bucks a pack but they're really good! - Dr. Greene


Item Description: A switch knife. Any individual injured by the knife in a way that would normally cause death will die.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Confiscated from a civilian after a violent altercation with another civilian.
Current Status: Kept in a secure storage locker at Site-18.


Item Description: A Spongeb[DATA EXPUNGED]
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Blockbuster Video.
Current Status: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Notes: Dr. Greene was killed while conducting tests on the above object. She will be missed. - Dr. Bluee


Item Description: A pair of dice. When rolled the resulting numbers added together will always end up being a number between two (2) and twelve (12).
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: A magic shop in Las Vegas.
Current Status: Banned from use by staff.


Item Description: A VHS copy of Ghostbusters 2.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Garage Sale.
Current Status: Permanently jammed in the Site-18 VCR.
Notes: A pretty unnecessary sequel. I don't really know why you'd make a second one, it'll never live up to the original. - O5-7



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