Log of Non-Anomalous Items

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Foreword: The SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items that are not anomalous. We've listed them here just in case any sites need some extra stuff.

– Dr. █████ █████, Head of Research, Site ██


Item Description: A lamp with a switch. When plugged in and the switch is flipped, the light will turn on.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: A lamp store in Baltimore.
Current Status: Kept in Dr. Kelp's office.


Item Description: A can of Sprite with 'shaken very well >:)' [sic] written in sharpie on it. When opened, no fizz occurred.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: The Site-19 cafeteria.
Current Status: In a recycling bin.
Notes: It's theorized that the can sat around for quite a while before being opened causing the shaking to do nothing. - Junior Researcher Furrow


Item Description: A fridge. When a banana is placed inside it, the fridge will cause the banana's skin to become black although no damage to the banana itself has been recorded.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Bought from a Best Buy located in Mumbai, India.
Current Status: Used in the Area-43 breakroom.


Item Description: A 1-rupee coin that when flipped, has a 50% chance of landing heads up and a 50% chance of landing tails up.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Received as change during the purchase of the previous object.
Current Status: Kept in a high-security storage locker.


Item Description: A McRib sandwich. When offered to any Vegan, all have universally refused to eat it.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Obtained from the ██ ██████'█ chain fast food restaurant.
Current Status: Decommissioned by Junior Researcher Furrow.


Item Description: The cadaver of a 48-year-old human male. Appears to have died by natural causes.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Formerly Junior Researcher Furrow.
Current Status: Kept at the Site-96 Morgue.


Item Description: A copy of the board game Monopoly. All tests involving the object resulted in 1 or more participants overturning the table it was being played on.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: It was added to the Site-78 breakroom during the Site's creation.
Current Status: Kept in a low-value storage locker.
Notes: I don't know what kind of monster decided to add that to a place where people are meant to relax! - Junior Researcher Lyle


Item Description: A large statue made of concrete and rebar. When stared at, it does not move. When not stared at, it does not move.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: A graveyard in Kentucky
Current Status: Has not been moved, it is still the headstone for Langely Keiren's grave.


Item Description: A box of assorted fruit-flavored hard candies. All candies taste like their fruit counterparts aside from the banana-flavored candies which have a flavor unlike how any baseline banana tastes.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Jim's Deli in Brooklyn New York
Current Status: Returned to Jim's Deli.
Notes: Jim's Deli does not accept returns. So if any personnel who live in Brooklyn wish, they may use the Foundation's $1.35 credit at Jim's Deli using the coupon code: ████-████-████ - Dr. Higgins


Item Description: A bed formerly owned by Iris Dark. When slept in for at least 10 hours, 90% of subjects will wake up feeling well-rested.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Recovered during a raid on an MC&D Warehouse. The bed was found in the upstairs area which was supposedly used as a safe house location for Dark.
Current Status: Used in D-class cell 7,416 at Site-89.


Item Description: An O5 keycard.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: O5-7's pocket.
Current Status: Kept in a secure storage locker at Site-█
Notes: I had no idea. It has just been sitting in my pocket since I was promoted and I never even considered the possibility of it being non-anomalous! What a fool I was. - O5-7


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Porridge

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