Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol VII

Foreword: The SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items become useful or necessary in the future.
– Dr. █████ █████, Head of Research, Site-██

As the most recent volume in the series, this log remains open to new additions. Other volumes are listed below:

• Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol I
• Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol II
• Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol III
• Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol IV
• Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol V
• Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol VI
• Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol VII

Lists of Extranormal Events and Unexplained Locations have also been compiled.

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Note: Please add new entries to the bottom of the list, not the middle or the top.

Anomalous Items 1501 - 1510

Item Description: Gold and ruby armband in the shape of a coiled serpent, reminiscent of ancient Minoan design. Age of the item is uncertain. When worn by a human subject, the item will vocalize in what witnesses describe as "what it'd sound like if snakes had a language." This typically happens only when the wearer is alone, happening far more rarely (<10% of reported instances) with a small group (<5 others). The item has never vocalized when more than 5 people are present, although how it is aware of this is not known.
Date of Recovery: 06/06/2025
Location of Recovery: Found among the possessions of a collector of antiquities.
Current Status: Being evaluated for potential SCP status.

Item Description: A pirated DVD copy of 1998 film The Truman Show. Once a sentient and sapient subject fully views the entire film, they will become paranoid of their surroundings, believing themselves to be in the circumstances of the main character of the film, Truman Burbank. This typically subsides after 3-4 days of exposure.
Date of Recovery: 06/21/2025
Location of Recovery: A flea market in Manila.
Current Status: In Low-Security anomalous media storage. Subjects which are under the effects of the item are to be held in a Class-E containment cell until effects subside.

Item Description: An emergency exit door. Subjects passing through the door will faint immediately, but only when passing through in the opposite of the indicated direction.
Date of Recovery: 04/12/1993
Location of Recovery: Berlin, Federal Republic of Germany.
Current Status: Is kept in a low-level containment locker at Site-77.

Item Description: A Halloween plastic skeleton of approximately 1.74 meters of height which is capable of limited autonomous locomotion through unknown means. It has the ability to speak in multiple languages through a voice box located in its head and will attempt to interact with any individual in the vicinity, becoming inert when alone. All subjects that interact with the anomaly will claim to have had an intricate conversation about the meaning of life or the fear of death and will express a deep gratitude towards the anomaly for its kind words. Audio recordings have revealed that the words said by the anomaly follow nonsensical patterns but adapt to the subject's preferred language.
Date of Recovery: 10/20/2010
Location of Recovery: A dollar store in Orlando, Florida.
Current Status: Kept in Site-99's relaxation room.

Item Description: A small badge made to be pinned to a garment, visually similar to children's toy police badges. The pin is made of aluminium and the badge itself is made of slightly oxidized brass. When worn in the intended fashion by a human subject, the subject's preferred name will manifest on the front, through unknown means.
Date of Recovery: January 7th, 2017
Location of Recovery: In the lost and found box of a restaurant in San Diego, California.
Current Status: In low-value item storage.

Item Description: Small book, similar in size to a pocket diary, bound in blue imitation leather. Approximately 60% of the pages are covered in writing in an unknown script. Examination of the script is difficult at best, as the words move wildly around the pages whenever any attempt is made. Photography of the pages is difficult but possible. Examination using this method has led Foundation linguists to suggest that the script is most likely pictographic in nature; unfortunately, no progress toward identification has been made.
Date of Recovery: May 5th, 2025
Location of Recovery: Found in a hotel room in Seattle, Washington
Current Status: Being examined by experts in obscure languages, in hopes of identifying the writing.
Note: The previous occupant of the room in question before the discovery of this item claims to have no knowledge of it and insists they had never seen it before.

Item Description: A double sided 10 inch, 45 RPM vinyl record in a nondescript paper sleeve. The circular dark blue label on the record sports the text ‘50/50’ in cursive script in gold, accompanied by a RCA Victor logo. Side B is comprised entirely of a monotone 2600hz beep. When played on Side A, an unknown voice with Transatlantic accent openly challenges the users listening to figure out the opening hooks of songs with similar characteristics. This challenge includes a 20 second ‘guessing’ period for listeners to discuss and cast their final decision via a group vote. Depending on the voting outcome, the voice praises or drily chastises the listeners afterwards while the muted song plays out in full. Songs are seemingly randomly chosen with each playback. Documented examples included Somebody I Used to Know by Gotye and Anxiety by Doiechii as well as Under Pressure by Queen and Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice.
Date of Recovery: 5/18/2025
Location of Recovery: Auxiliary Storage Site-384, where it arrived at the administrative office in a USPS media mailer with no return address.
Current Status: Held in low-risk media storage at Site-384.

Item Description: A 18x16x9 mm wood chip made of southern red oak. When moved by a human through direct skin contact, the wood chip will move with zero resistance and remain in the exact spot it was left, regardless of if it is being supported or not. The fragment has demonstrated immunity to gravity, winds, flowing water, and attempts at displacement from other living creatures such as ants, dogs, small spiders, and on one occasion, SCP-615.
Date of Recovery: 6/19/1995
Location of Recovery: Found hovering roughly 2 meters off the ground in a Tennessee shopping mall. Investigative attempts to discover how long it had been there have returned inconclusive results. Civilians demonstrated minimal interest.
Current Status: Being used as a "fidget toy" in the psychiatric ward of Site-38.

Item Description: A wood chessboard on which the g5 tile is entirely circular, rather than square, without interrupting the tessellated checker pattern. Attempts to replicate this geometric anomaly, even through photographs, have been unsuccessful, as in photographs the chessboard appears as one solid color with no checkered pattern at all.
Date of Recovery: 12/26/2015
Location of Recovery: The home of Dr. █████ █████. Item was received as a Christmas gift.
Current Status: Kept alongside a non-anomalous chess set in Site-17's third-floor break room.

Item Description: A pair of reading glasses with blue plastic frames. When used by a human subject, the subject sees any and all text in their native language. Anomalous languages are unaffected.
Date of Recovery: July 8th, 2025
Location of Recovery: In the lost and found box at [REDACTED] High, Montgomery, AL
Current Status: Available for use by Foundation linguists.

Anomalous Items 1511 - 1520

Item Description: A blue stoneware bowl 13.7 centimeters in diameter and 4.76 centimeters in height. Regardless of the environment it occupies, the bowl will slowly fill with lukewarm water over the course of a month (the filling process has notably sped up during February). Regardless of how messy the bowl may be or how hazardous the surrounding area is, the water generated will be potable unless removed and additionally contaminated.
Date of Recovery: 5/26/2011
Location of Recovery: The house of Site-101's Dr. Byrne, who had been deceased for 2 months at the time of investigation.
Current Status: Being used as a planter in Site-101. Precautions have been taken due to the fragile medium of the object.

Item Description: An oil painting depicting a common white-tailed deer in a forest setting. Anyone viewing the object for longer than 15 seconds displays increasing paranoia, complaining of being watched and/or hunted. The effect stops increasing when line of sight to the painting is broken, which typically occurs naturally as subjects attempt to find the hidden watchers. The effect fades over the course of a few minutes.
Date of Recovery: June 18th, 2025
Location of Recovery: An art gallery in New York City, New York
Current Status: In storage. The artist was evaluated and found to have no connection to known anartists. Bizarre as it may be, the painting's anomalous effect seems to be unintentional.

Item Description: A 13 centimeter "Stanley" brand black and yellow flathead screwdriver. Item has heavy damage near the center identical to teethmarks or heavy slicing. When the metal implement is inserted into a compatible screw, it will begin to turn on its own. Maintenance staff have reported that it is too slow to be sufficiently useful.
Date of Recovery: July 17th, 1976
Location of Recovery: Item was acquired in a bulk delivery of screwdrivers for the maintenance staff of Site-322.
Current Status: Stored on-site in a cabinet.

Item Description: A pen-drawn figure of a pentagon on a yellow sticky note. Roughly 75% of observers will report seeing a smiley face within the pentagon, despite the fact that there is not one. This has been confirmed through camera usage.
Date of Recovery: November 11th, 1997
Location of Recovery: Bathroom mirror in Site-101. Dates of creation and placement could not be confirmed due to the lack of security cameras.
Current Status: Transferred to a piece of card stock and placed within a storage locker.
Notes: Six different members of staff have claimed to be solely responsible for the creation of the item. All were unable to recreate the anomaly.

Item Description: A phenomenon affecting all computers with a floppy drive. Such devices perform substantially better if the user threatens to hit the device with a hammer, sometimes even causing performance levels that should not be possible on the device being used.
Date of Discovery: July 8th, 2025
Location of Discovery: Rumors circulating on online forums such as Reddit and 4chan; reproduced in Anomalous Items lab at Site-19.
Current Status: No action required, as the phenomenon is already regarded as a superstition. Foundation personnel should avoid taking advantage of this phenomenon, however, as we do not know if it may have any unforeseen consequences.

Item Description: A standard red and white name tag sticker with the text "Hello, my name is". When worn, the blank space will be changed to state the preferred name of the subject wearing it. Item also increases perceived kindness to the subject wearing it. The back adhesive has not displayed any loss of functionality.
Date of Recovery: June 1st, 2025
Location of Recovery: Site-91 pride celebration, worn by a transgender researcher.
Current Status: On-site low value storage.

+ LEVEL 5/AO-1517 CLEARANCE REQUIRED - UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS PUNISHABLE BY TERMINATION OF EMPLOYMENT

Item Description: A modified copy of Sonic Generations for the Xbox 360. The game's characters and narrative remain unaffected, but the nine original stages (each of which was a reimagining of a level in a previous Sonic the Hedgehog game) have been replaced by completely new stages based on real-world events and/or locations relevant to Foundation history. In order, the replacement stages are "██████ █████", "Fae Forest", "Night Kingdom", "Occult Siege", "Panopticon Panic", "Digital Dash", "Deepwell Archive", "Site 19", and "Avalon ███████". Boss battles are against █████ ███, The Engine, and the ████████, while rival battles are against an instance of SCP-1000, General Bowe, and Dr. Benjamin Kondraki. The final boss battle is the same as in the original game. The software itself possesses no anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: 19/06/2015
Location of Recovery: GameStop store in Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA
Current Status: In storage at an undisclosed location.
Note: In order to create a mod of this nature, someone would need to have access to a range and depth of classified information far exceeding that of even most Level 5 clearance personnel. It must be emphasized that it is not only variety of locales that is of concern, but also the specific construction of the levels; for instance, "Site 19"'s stage design closely mimics the architecture of the real-world location, albeit wider and more complex, in order to accommodate the title character's speed and platforming ability. The same can be said of the attack patterns of the rival and boss battles. It is for these reasons that locating the creator of whatever this is is of the utmost priority. I'm not sure what to make of the first and last stages, as well as the final boss battle, but I doubt it's anything good. - O5-█

Item Description: A standard American football, of regulation size, weight, composition, et cetera. Physical contact with sapient subjects results in a belief that:

1. The year is 1961
2. Subject is President of the United States
3. Subject is in possession of "the full destructive power of the atomic arsenal of the United States of America

Supposed connections are only a memetic implantation. Testing with project ██████ █████████ has demonstrated that this effect exists on subjects extant before the year 1961, and before the existence of the United States of America.
Date of Recovery: September 5th, 1978
Location of Recovery: United States government assets surplus auction
Current Status: In low-value item storage.

Item Description: A wax birthday candle. Subjects who ignite the candle will have an extra year added onto their life. The extra year will be taken away if the candle is blown out.
Date of Recovery: 05/21/2008
Location of Recovery: New Orleans, Louisiana.
Current Status: Completely melted due to being lit for too long.

Item Description: A taxidermied corpse of a mixed-breed dog. Human subjects maintaining eye contact with it for 7 seconds without blinking will hear a distorted male voice repeating the word "állatkitömés" (Hungarian for "taxidermy") three times, each time slightly louder. The voice is often described as "unnaturally slowed down" by affected subjects. No lingering effects were detected.
Date of Recovery: 21/09/2000
Location of Recovery: The basement of a pet store in the city of Győr, Hungary.
Current Status: Contained at Site-228.

Item Description: A common sunflower (Helianthus annuus), with the disk florets being replaced by a sustained fusion reaction. The reaction radiates no heat and produces minimal light. Every 24 hours a large ember will launch from the object.
Date of Recovery: 5/5/2009
Location of Recovery: Office in Seattle, Washington
Current Status: Break room of Bio Site-7

Anomalous Items 1521 - 1530

Item Description: A plastic sign measuring 11x11 inches with the printed text "Yard Sale" on the upper portion of the sign. Below the text is a 10-digit phone number which randomly changes at intervals of 48 hours. All numbers display the exact same distinct area code, "661." Attempting to call or text any of these numbers causes the device being used to overheat and subsequently explode.
Date of Recovery: 4/12/2016
Location of Recovery: In the basement of an abandoned house in the city of Bakersfield, California.
Current Status: In low-value item storage.

Item Description: A jar filled with 500 milliliters of a clear liquid labelled "Sponge Fluid." Any substance immersed, covered, or otherwise kept in prolonged contact with the fluid will begin to lose internal moisture. The longest test, involving an apple inserted for 3 months, left the specimen brittle and dried. Microscope examinations have revealed zero water content in the liquid, even when tests immediately followed use. Test samples are rendered bitter with denatonium to prevent intentional or accidental consumption.
Date of Recovery: 4/12/2016
Location of Recovery: In the basement of an abandoned house in the city of Bakersfield, California.
Current Status: Being studied in Site-201.

Item Description: An empty dishwasher that cannot be filled. When any piece of kitchen or tableware is placed into the object and ceases to be observed, it will instantaneously disappear, and reappear wherever it was most recently set down. Said item does not undergo any changes in the process, nor is it cleaned.
Date of Recovery: 12/05/2010
Location of Recovery: Site-42 cafeteria
Current Status: In storage. Decommission approved on 16/05/2010.

Item Description: A full dishwasher that cannot be emptied. When a piece of kitchen or tableware is removed and the object ceases to be observed, a new piece of clean kitchen or tableware takes its place; said items do not have consistent features and may have a design that is alien to human conventions of kitchen and tableware, but none of the generated items possess anomalous properties. The provenance of the new items could not be identified.
Date of Recovery: 20/05/2010
Location of Recovery: Site-58 cafeteria.
Current Status: Approved for supplying foundation sites with necessary cooking and dining equipment.
Updated Status: On 26/05/2010, at 12:15 PM, the empty dishwasher was decommissioned through standard Foundation procedure. Roughly one minute afterwards, every plate in the full dishwasher shattered. All anomalous properties ceased afterwards.

Item Description: Barred window, reminiscent of prison bars, sized appropriately for inclusion in medium-scale model train town layouts. Anyone touching the item for longer than 15 seconds suffers a cognitohazardous effect, leading them to believe they either have been or will soon be imprisoned in some fashion. Longer exposure leads to the certainty that the subject is in some form of prison; they act appropriately for such a situation (not traveling further than the typical dimensions of a prison cell, lamenting their loss of freedom, etc). Releasing the item does not immediately end the effect, but fades over time.
Date of Recovery: August 15th, 2025
Location of Recovery: Thrift store in Seattle, Washington
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A Magic 8 Ball. Despite the object visible inside appearing to be a regular icosahedron, the ball is capable of producing 22 different results when shaken. 20 of these possible results correspond with the ones produced by nonanomalous Magic 8 Balls, while the other two read "You tell me" and "Shmïk" respectively. Additionally, the item is printed with what is presumed to be a company logo (the image consists of a moustache and monocle, the monocle being centrally located above the moustache) a serial number, and additional text indicating that the item was manufactured in 1927¹ by L. B. Nelson & Sons Toy Company.
Date of Recovery: 07/30/2006
Location of Recovery: Suburban house in Ruckersville, Virginia. Abandoned since 1987.
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: Aside from this item, there is no known evidence to substantiate the existence of "L. B. Nelson & Sons Toy Company."

Item Description: A green turtleneck sweater with a scale pattern. When worn by a human subject, the entirety of the subject's skin will gradually slough off over the course of the next five hours, invariably resulting in death.
Date of Recovery: 06/17/1982
Location of Recovery: Longmont, Colorado. Object was purchased from a thrift store by Daniel C█████, who was killed due to its anomalous effects.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: Approximately 11 10.653 kilograms of human ash, which appeared within the location of recovery without explanation. Ash has the same texture and temperature as powdered snow, and falls like snow when airborne, but retains all other properties of human ash, with one exception. When thrown or dropped, all persons witnessing the falling ash will attempt to catch it on their tongue, believing it to be snow. If this ash is swallowed, the creature that swallowed it will experience bodywide symptoms of severe necrosis within one hour, and will perish within three hours, turning into ash with identical properties to the anomalous ash.
Date of Recovery: 09/09/2025
Location of Recovery: Cold Stone Creamery, New Castle, Delaware, United States
Current Status: Stored divided in ten steel boxes in low-value storage. Ash must be treated as fragile and stored in the lowest possible storage lockers when not being tested. When tested, ash should remain on the floor unless otherwise required by testing.

Item Description: Set of what is commonly referred to as "Chinese handcuffs" or "Chinese finger trap", with a rainbow pattern. Whenever a person inserts a finger into either end, or two people each insert a finger into one end, subjects immediately forget all about such items, leaving them with no knowledge of how to free themselves. Knowledge returns upon the item's removal.
Date of Recovery: September 12th, 2025
Location of Recovery: A joke store in Cincinnati, OH
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A glass cube containing a scale model of Sol. The model changes to reflect the actual star. A placard reads, "The Sun, In Real Time" imprinted in silver.
Date of Recovery: September 30th, 2023
Location of Recovery: ██████, ███████
Current Status: Placed under study.
Notes: Recently the object has undergone supernova, implications unknown.

Anomalous Items 1531 - 1540

Item Description: A small hand mirror, similar in size to commercially available makeup mirrors. Anyone using the mirror to observe their reflection becomes convinced that someone or something (the effect varies) is watching them from inside the mirror. This effect persists after the subject looks away from the mirror, with the length of the effect varying based on length of time spent looking into the mirror. Once away from the mirror (at least 3 meters distance) for at least 1 minute of time, the effect fades rapidly.
Date of Recovery: September 18th, 2025
Location of Recovery: Abandoned on a bench at a bus stop in Boise, Idaho
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: US "Sacajawea" one-dollar coin, minted in 2002. This item has a minor probabilistic anomaly in that, rather than having an approximately 50% chance of landing with either side facing upward, the "heads" side lands face-up closer to 75% of the time.
Date of Recovery: September 20th, 2025
Location of Recovery: Boise, Idaho. The object was recovered from a local man who had been using it to win bets and minor contests.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A decomposed camel skull. When observed by more than █ people , it causes the observers to believe the object is a water canteen. Attempting to pick up the skull with the assumption that it is a canteen causes the user to become severely dehydrated. Dropping the skull reverses the effect.
Date of Recovery; 4/18/1978
Location of Recovery: In the city of ██████, ███████
Current Status: Stored in Site-██ in a desk drawer.

Item Description: A dinosaur display piece that appears to have been manufactured by a company called PNSO (Peking Natural Science-Art Organisation). It resembles the standard PNSO reconstruction of a genus of theropodic dinosaur named Allosaurus. Physical exposure to this item will result in the onset of Raynaud’s Syndrome, that escalates to toe fracture after 5 minutes have elapsed. After approximately 8 minutes, the subject’s entire foot will be rendered incapacitated, and further exposure will result in the loss of the limb.
Date of Recovery: 5/10/2021
Location of Recovery: In a shopping mall in the city of [REDACTED], [REDACTED]. Recovered from a paleo enthusiast who suffered its effects after 8 minutes and was rushed to A&E. Subject made a full recovery and was administered amnestics. Prior to amnesia, the subject reported that he was attempting to “patch up” some imperfections on the model, which required the use of an airbrush, thus incurring its timed anomalous effects.
Current Status: In storage. Personnel are not to make physical contact with the anomaly in any way.

Item Description:² Nobody likes doing the dishes. You can never reach the bottom of those tall cups, and trying to get every last bit of grime off that pot is hopeless! Trying to buy the right tool for the job is expensive, which just won't fit in the budget if you want a weapon for self-defense! If only there was one tool that could do it all! Introducing, the Magic Wand, the new 8-in-1 dishwashing powerhouse! It's a sponge, dish wand, scouring tool, scraper, dish soap, power nozzle, drying towel, and self-defense weapon, all in one handy tool! Here's how it works. Hold the tool in your hand and introduce it as the tool you need. Say "This is my wand" and it's a dish wand, reaching into even the tightest spaces. It may look short, but watch it in action! There's no space it can't stretch to reach! The scouring tool cuts through anything, and we mean anything! Stains that never go away? Gone! Radioactivity? Gone! Human fingers! Gone! And for more heavy-duty applications, the scraper can remove years of caked-on grime, human blood, or even lead paint! Make sure to use the soap from the built-in dispenser!³ Watch as it melts away human flesh in seconds! And when you're ready to clean up, blast away unwanted dishes with the power nozzle! Its 300 meter reach can blast through bone across the house! Then, dry it all away with the hand towel, capable of leaving anything it touches completely devoid of any liquid!⁴ But now that you're done washing dishes, what will you do to clean up crime in your neighborhood? Well, simply transform the wand into its self-defense form! Just point it at the criminal scum, and this wand will clean that up too, with a stream of plasma hotter than the surface of the sun!⁵ Now, you may ask yourself how anyone could afford such an amazing device, but who said you have to pay? Simply become a Level 3 Researcher at Site-19, and you can enjoy the amazing Magic Wand for yourself!⁶
Date of Recovery: October 8th, 2025
Location of Recovery: Advertising facility in Bridgeport, Connecticut, United States. Discovered during a live demonstration on HSN.
Current Status: HSN broadcast intercepted. A copy of the broadcast advertising the item is kept in low value storage, and all other known recordings have been destroyed. The Magic Wand is so amazing that it must be displayed on a pedestal in a Site-19 break room at all times!⁷ It absolutely must remain on its pedestal at all times unless its effects are being demonstrated by a professional⁸, and no less than two armed guards are to ensure it is not taken from where it can be appreciated by all Foundation personnel. Investigations into Agfordtage Co. are ongoing but proving fruitless.

Item Description: A video tutorial for the song Re-Do by American emo revival band Modern Baseball. When viewed by one person holding a guitar,⁹ the guitar used by the subject in the video will appear to be of the same model and configuration by the one held by the viewer, tuned to standard. If the viewer is not holding a guitar, or there is more than one viewer, the guitar used by the subject in the video is a Yamaha Revstar RSE20.
Date of Recovery: September 24, 2025
Location of Recovery: Posted on YouTube by █████ █████ ██████. Other posts by this user are deemed non-anomalous.
Current Status: Removed by Foundation agents embedded in the YouTube moderation team. A non-anomalous version of the video has been posted under the account.

Item Description: A John Deere brand ride-on tractor that has been painted blood red. Anyone under the age of 18 with a younger living relative that witnesses the tractor or any imagery of it experiences the memetic compulsion to find a tractor and steal one of its rear tires, so that they can roll it down a hill with one of their younger siblings inside.
Date of Recovery: January 18th, 2025
Location of Recovery: Rising Sun, Maryland, United States
Current Status: Held in Unit ███ at Site-██. Item must remain covered by its plastic tarp at all times. Following Incident AI-1541-A, nobody under the age of 18 is to be allowed at Site-██.

Item Description: A humanoid entity approximately 2.1 meters tall, with elongated limbs and a face obscured by a featureless black surface that reflects no light. Exhibits extreme hostility toward any living organism within a 30-meter radius. Movement is erratic but displays bursts of speed up to 70 km/h. Capable of producing vocalizations resembling multiple human voices speaking simultaneously, often repeating the names of nearby individuals.
Date of Recovery: October 21st, 2025
Location of Recovery: Milagroman forest perimeter, Florida, United States
Current Status: Confined within a reinforced subterranean holding cell formerly used for SCP-███, Site-██. Monitoring is to be conducted exclusively via analog equipment. Digital surveillance attempts result in total data corruption within 4 hours.
Notes: Attempts to draft a formal SCP document for this entity have repeatedly failed. Digital documentation spontaneously erases itself within hours, and all physical copies of the file become completely blank. The destruction occurs regardless of medium or containment of the devices involved.
During a third attempt, Foundation technicians examined the document’s digital source before deletion and discovered an embedded counter labeled "[[>]] [[module rate]] [[/>]]" showing a constantly decreasing negative integer. The counter updates at irregular intervals, decreasing by varying amounts. Attempts to alter, delete, or even display the counter on external systems have all failed. Network analysis indicates the data is not being received or transmitted through any known channels.

Item Description: Bicycle horn, visually identical to most commercially available bicycle horns, save for lack of any manufacturer's information. Item can be used as a normal example of its type, but has been known to sound itself in the presence of mayonnaise, horseradish, and other condiments. Why it does this, or the mechanism behind the anomalous effect, have yet to be discovered.
Date of Recovery: October 20th, 2025
Location of Recovery: Site-23, inside an Amazon box mailed to the Site with no return address
Current Status: In storage.
Note: Finding the person who mailed this item to the site is a priority. - Agent Watkins

Item Description: A rectangular object measuring 45 cm by 30 cm by 2 cm, composed of an unknown metallic material with a highly reflective black surface. The object displays no markings or seams and reflects light with minimal distortion. Electronic devices of any type cease to function within a 33-meter radius of the object. Affected devices resume normal operation immediately upon removal from the radius, with no signs of damage or data loss. The effect applies to all tested technologies, including mechanical systems containing electronic components.
Date of Recovery: December 4th, 2011
Location of Recovery: Found embedded upright in the floor of an abandoned electronics retail store, White Bear Justice Park, Nevada
Current Status: Contained within a non-electrified observation chamber at Site-47. All testing and observation are to be conducted via indirect analog means.

Anomalous Items 1541 - 1550

Item Description: A spherical mass of compacted snow approximately 1.2 meters in diameter. The object maintains a consistent temperature of -3°C and shows no signs of melting regardless of environmental conditions. Embedded on one side of the sphere is a single wooden matchstick (unlit, standard size, appears non-anomalous upon removal attempts). When any human subject approaches within a radius of approximately 4.5 meters, faint music can be heard, described by some listeners as “old ballroom music”. The sound does not register on recording devices. Upon leaving the radius, affected individuals exhibit mild amnesia specific to their most recent meal, being unable to recall what or when they last ate. No other memories are affected.
Date of Recovery: June 1st, 2011
Location of Recovery: An abandoned community center in northern Stockport, England.
Current Status: Stored in Low-Temperature Containment, Site-██.

Item Description: 1 standard "Anko" brand pizza cutter. When used to cut a pizza, it will always result in six slices of exactly equal surface area & mass, even if such a configuration would be mathematically impossible.
Date of Recovery: 27th October, 2025
Location of Recovery: Residence of the ██████████, in Hobart, Australia
Current Status: In use in Site-105 kitchen.

Item Description: Small hand bell, oak wood handle with brass bell and clapper. When rung, despite apparently being fully functional, the bell makes no sound at all. Sensitive sound equipment was used to verify this. Other than being completely silent, the item does not seem to have any anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: 29th October, 2025
Location of Recovery: Left on a park bench in Boston, MA
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A pair of identical polished steel spheres, each approximately 6 cm in diameter. Any individual who comes into direct skin contact with either sphere reports an immediate and involuntary recollection of the first 95 digits of the irrational number φ¹⁰. This knowledge persists permanently and is recalled with absolute precision regardless of the subject’s mathematical background, memory ability, or prior interest in numerical sequences.
Date of Recovery: January 19th, 2004
Location of Recovery: An abandoned workshop in Naples, Italy.
Current Status: Contained separately within Standard Secure Storage Locker 2B, Site-██. Direct physical contact prohibited without authorization from Level 2 personnel.

Item Description: A slice of pepperoni pizza from the pizza chain restaurant Domino's Pizza. Item remains at a constant 60° Celsius. Item emits an extremely pleasing aroma that prompts most who see it to attempt to eat it, regardless of their previous view of the dish. Due to its persistent temperature, it invariably causes up to 3rd degree burns to any subjects attempting to consume it.
Date of Recovery: June 27th, 2013.
Location of Recovery: Site-██ break room.¹¹
Current Status: Contained in a Tupperware container concealed in Senior Researcher Fernes' desk.

Item Description: An average 19th-century English chessboard with a full set of pieces that can only be played by two people who share a romantic bond, knowingly or otherwise. The board will telepathically incite them to play (though others within a 50-metre radius of the anomaly can hear the signal) and will try to make the two form a romantic relationship as they play, albeit not convincingly.
Date of Recovery: August 15th, 2018.
Location of Recovery: St Valentine's Roman Catholic Church, Bloomfield, United States.
Current Status: Site-██ break room, though put away on Valentine's Day in an anti-telepathic field for fear of overflowing the room.

Item Description: An endless VHS cassette tape of a lecture recording by former Professor ███ ███ (deceased) from Cambridge University. The tape’s content is dictated by its current label, in which the tape will correspondingly change to the topic written on it. Depending on the title, a general idea of said subject will be presented on a whiteboard once played. Following this, ███ ███ will then proceed to explain it determinedly and, if ideal, proficiently, comparable to a standard lecture recording. If they’re presented with a topic they aren’t familiar with, they’ll usually become distressed due to only being capable in topics relating to mathematics. Despite this, their resilience and endurance to continue remains inhuman, being able to withstand hours without rest, digestion, or having the temptation to leave the lecture.
Date of Recovery: December 2nd, 2003
Location of Recovery: Found in a drawer of a former Cambridge University student ████ ███, Cambridge, Cambridgeshire, England.
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: Someone left this playing on some old computer junk in their office last night, saw the guy in total despair scribbling on about SCP-682’s anomalous biology. Not calling names, but have some VHS human decency!

Item Description: A 2020 Tottenham Hotspur jersey with the number ██ and the name ████ ███ on it that, while not being worn or worn by a supporter of another team, has no anomalous effects whatsoever, but while being worn by a supporter of Tottenham Hotspur gains a probabilistic anomaly effect, as the wearer is incapable of winning any sort of competition.
Date of Recovery: June 14th, 2021
Location of Recovery: Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, 2nd Row.¹²
Current Status: Hung up in Site-██ break room and given to new recruits as a practical joke.
Note: You could've at least not initiated a gaming tournament with punishments while I was still wearing it, Melissa. - Junior Researcher ████████

Item Description: A pair of glass lab goggles. When worn, the wearer is immune to chemical and temperature damage expected in a laboratory environment. It also protects from poisoning, radiation damage, and heavy metal toxicity.
Date of Recovery: June 19th, 2015.
Location of Recovery: █████████ High School, Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Current Status: In possession of Senior Researcher Fernes, who uses it for testing. Pending Denied SCP status.

Item Description: An XXL green turtleneck sweater with a depiction of a tortoise on it. When worn, the wearer will begin displaying heightened emotions and speaking in "baby talk," otherwise using only basic words which are often nonsensical. Ex Words: Baba sic (referring to a bottle), doggy sic (referring to a canine of any species), or keekee sic (referring to a feline of any species). The wearer will also display decreased mental capacity consistent with a young child between the ages of two to four years of age.

Anomalous Items 1551 - 1560

Item Description: Irregularly-shaped shard of mirrored glass, approximately the size of an adult man's palm, consistent with early 19th-century manufacture. Reflections of the object in the shard move slightly after the actual objects, not overly long but enough to be noticeable. Some of those viewing the shard insist that reflected objects on the edge of view are engaging in anomalous behaviors, but this has yet to be verified. Anyone touching the shard reports a slightly uneasy feeling, likening it to the feeling of being watched, with no discernible cause.
Date of Recovery: November 3rd, 2025
Location of Recovery: A police evidence locker in Atlantic City, New Jersey
Current Status: Being tested.
Note: Despite the meticulous record-keeping typical of police forces, the ultimate origin of this item is unknown. Paper records of the relevant time frame were unintentionally destroyed in a plumbing leak and a computer glitch corrupted archived digital data. - Researcher Tomlinson

Item Description: A set of human fingers which exhibit a perceptual cognitohazard. When perceived by approximately 40% of humans, they believe the fingers to be baby-cut carrots.
Date of Recovery: 2009/04/12
Location of Recovery: Grocery store in Bakersfield, California.
Current Status: In storage in the Miscellaneous Remains wing of the Site-11 morgue. A sign is posted at the wing entrance prohibiting bringing vegetables into the area.

Item Description: Black T-shirt, adult size L. Text is printed on the front, but the print is the center of the anomalous effect. Anyone viewing the shirt sees some sort of positive and uplifting message in their first language, no matter how obscure that language might be. Subjects also report slightly heightened feelings of happiness and contentment, but it is unclear whether this is part of the anomaly.
Date of Recovery: December 1, 2025
Location of Recovery: Found on a table at a coffee shop in LaGuardia Airport.
Current Status: In storage.
Note: Cafe staff were unable to recall who left this item, or even who was most recently at the relevant table. As the item was recovered relatively early in the morning (approximately 7:15 am EST), it is unclear whether or not the lack of adequate recall is due to an anomaly. What we do know, thanks to security video, is that, at approximately 11:30 pm, an unidentified female figure walked into the cafe, carrying what appears to be a pile of black fabric, presumably similar items, set down the pile, and absently left without the item we recovered. - Researcher Tomlinson

Item Description: A support column, just outside of a Bojangles located inside the shopping complex. When nobody else is observing the other side of the column, and an individual within the Bojangles looks at the column, one or more customers will manifest from behind the column and walk briskly towards the Bojangles location with the intention of ordering, even if the location is obviously closed or even completely inaccessible. These customers almost always have an extremely complex order that includes items from other fried chicken restaurants, discontinued items, and/or specific items the Bojangles location is out of, and more customers appear the closer the restaurant is to closing. They will wait for approximately five minutes for someone to take their order, even when asked to leave, and respond with confusion if told the store is closed or unable to serve them. After being served, or otherwise leaving the Bojangles location, the customers will disappear once not observed, frequently taking the shortest route towards a point not being observed.
Date of Recovery: 11/29/2025
Location of Recovery: █████████-███ Shopping Center, New Orleans, Louisiana, United States
Current Status: Area around column is currently observed 24/7 by at least three Foundation agents, as removal efforts are deemed too disruptive. While remote observation is enough to neutralize the anomalous effect, at least one agent assigned to AI-1555 must be physically present to observe the pillar in-person. If a manifestation occurs after-hours, agents in-person, disguised as security, are to escort the manifestation out of the building.

Item Description: A fast-food digital menu display board that, when a burger is being eaten within the radius of roughly 16 meters of it, will project said burger in a 3D space. If the burger is changed in any way physically, such as being bitten or torn, the board’s burger projection will adjust accordingly to match. Multiple statistics are also shown off to the side of the burger, including a timer that measures the duration it takes until eaten, a golden podium showing the quickest time a burger had been finished, a comprehensive ingredient list of the burger, and a future projection that shows the next best recommended bite.
Date of Recovery: 06/18/2022
Location of Recovery: Found in a Burger King at Dallas, Texas
Current Status: At use in Site-██’s cafeteria as it increases personnel morale and socialization. Moved back to storage as staff have developed destructive habits and competitiveness.

Item Description: A radio playing Christmas Music at 120 decibels. It does not require power and the volume cannot be changed. A voice infrequently interrupts the music and advertises the station as ███ FM.
Date of Recovery: 01/12/2000
Location of Recovery: Appeared in Site-01 breakroom
Current Status: Kept in a soundproof room with no doors
Notes: Destruction requests are noted regularly with a significant increase during the month of December.

Item Description: A sentient, three pound serving of traditional beef bolognese, discovered thawed out in a Ziploc freezer bag. While the mound of pasta cannot speak and seems to lack proper biological functions, it seems aware of its immediate surroundings in all directions, and can use its noodles as prehensile appendages for locomotion and the handling of light objects. It has identified itself as F███ F████, a former programmer from the now defunct game publisher LJN that disappeared in 2001. It also claims that it has been frozen for at least 20 years. Additionally, the pasta seems to possess the ability to develop code for any programming language or device, even using obscure or esoteric coding languages, but the ability to code does not come with skill. Most code it creates comes out usable, but incredibly unstable or incomplete. Otherwise, the pasta has the same physical properties as its non-anomalous counterpart, and therefore, is prone to spoilage and deterioration.
Date of Recovery: December 18th, 2025
Location of Recovery: Found in an abandoned home's freezer in Palm Springs, California, United States.
Current Status: Held in a standard containment chamber. The pasta maintains its ability to understand its surroundings even when frozen, so it is currently held in a purpose-made freezing apparatus with plexiglass walls for seeing through. To prevent further deterioration, all parts of the pasta must remain frozen, except during testing, with the exception of two pieces of spaghetti, which are allowed to remain unfrozen so that the pasta can operate the television and computer in its cell. If the freezing apparatus ever reaches a temperature above 0⁰C, the pasta must be moved to a cold storage area below 0⁰C and held there while its freezing apparatus is fixed or replaced.

Item Description: 5 (five) 3 (three) 2 (two) 1 (one) gingerbread cookie, originally in the shape of a traditional wax seal used to close envelopes, that has had a bite taken out of it. This has caused it to crumble into two smaller pieces. Anyone that consumes a full bite of this cookie immediately recovers from alcohol intoxication or poisoning, and frequently remarks that the experience is grounding, unpleasant, and/or life-ruining, yet speaks of having a compulsion to eat it.
Date of Recovery: December 25th, 2025
Location of Recovery: Apartment in Hagerstown, Maryland, United States. Six such cookies were found by MTF Delta-14 (“Winter Wonderland”) during an investigation into reports of an unrelated anomaly, used to close envelopes addressed to Santa Claus. Delores Euler, a member of MTF Delta-14 on the scene and a former alcoholic, seemed drawn to the cookies despite protests from her comrades, and ate one of them. She proceeded to collapse and clutch her gut in pain, complaining that she felt like she was "being dragged down to hell".
Current Status: In low-value storage Secured in a vault in Doctor Frisk's office. Only Lead Researchers assigned to the Anomalous Items Department may retrieve pieces of the last remaining cookie, and may only do so with the intention of visual observation or non-destructive testing.
Note: "Anomalous Items are not for personnel consumption unless otherwise approved. It's not my fault you threw a rager while us responsible folks drank non-alcoholic eggnog." ‐Dr. Frisk

Item Description: A stuffed snake with large eyes. It blinks whenever its owner does.
Date of Recovery: 2026-05-23
Location of Recovery: A gift shop from a zoo in Michigan.
Current Status: In Dr. Veau's office.
Note: In what is either a case of unusually widespread neglect, or an immature violation of Foundation policy indulged in by no fewer than 12 employees, this item's anomalous behavior was not publicly noted until 2 months after its recovery.

Item Description: A number pad lock, using numerical code ████, that must be activated at exactly 12:00 AM on every December 31st within each timezone. Once the code is put, the number pad will officially start the next subsequent year for that region, confirming the traditionally accepted "New Year" and its "New Year's Day." It is unknown why or how this specifically starts the New Year, as it does nothing triggered or not. Due to this, it does not pose a clear or significant threat to normalcy that requires extensive action. Although, the number lock will, in conceptual terms, prevent it from ever logically being the New Year if activation is not to happen. This remains true even under unanimous agreement until the lock is set for the New Year. It is to note that the anomalous effect is not a global cognitohazard, nor does it produce any effect on Earth.
Date of Recovery: ████-██-25
Location of Recovery: ██████, Marshall Islands.
Current Status: In storage. Value of the item is currently being discussed because of its logical effect, as well as the continuation of its activation due to it being likely unnecessary.

Anomalous Items 1561 - 1570

Item Description: Blue-green plastic rod with the words "talking stick" written on it in black marker. When held by a human subject, all other humans within earshot remain silent. If questioned why they did so, they explain that "it wasn't my turn to talk", occasionally saying that "it'd be rude to interrupt". Even those unfamiliar with the concept of such items experience this effect, which is believed to be a mild yet pervasive cognitohazard.
Date of Recovery: January 3, 2026
Location of Recovery: Found by an agent on a park bench in Detroit, Michigan
Current Status: Available for use by Site-46 personnel, often requisitioned for meetings.

Item Description: A Quad Cities MetroLINK bus stop, with black, painted steel, and a local advertisement for the "Rock Island Bar and Grill". At 7:02 AM on these dates every year, January 7, March 21, May 31, September 23, and December 11, the bus stop manifests an iPhone 6 Plus (64GB, Gold), on its bench. When examined, the phones appear to run iOS 12.3.1. Further examination shows that the phones show no further anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: June 17, 2019
Location of Recovery: Moline, Illinois
Current Status: Bus stop remains under low level surveillance, and staff periodically come to collect the phones. Manifested devices are factory reset and used as non-secure hardware in the IT department of Site-11.

Item Description: A sign placed on Site-04's Euclid containment wing stairwell reading "PLEASE KEEP RIGHT." Individuals which read and comprehend the item are anomalously almost reflexively compelled to walk at their right unless a physical barrier is placed to prevent movement to the individual's right.
Date of Recovery: January 15, 2026.
Location of Recovery: Euclid Containment Wing Stairwell, Site-04, [REDACTED].
Current Status: As the item does not pose any threat to foundation staff and statistically slightly reduces accidents, no containment measure has been deemed necessary. A notice has been placed beneath the item informing staff of the item's anomalous properties.

Item Description: A Jim Knatz bobblehead that has slight discoloration. Anytime a team within the National Football League (NFL) scores, the object will throw its hands in the air and yell the word “goal” at an almost constant 79 dB.
Date of Recovery: April 27th, 2025
Location of Recovery: Inside the room of ███████ █████, a twelve (12) year old adolescent.
Current Status: Stored in Dr. R████’s office, Site-27.

Item Description: A piece of paper that resembles standard 8th grade algebra homework. When completed, all questions will be erased and become new problems within the next hour. Unanswered questions will remain until answered.
Date of Recovery: April 21st, 2017
Location of Recovery: Recovered from the home of the █████ family after their child posted a social media video of the anomaly. The family was given class A amnestics.
Current Status: Currently on Dr. M██████’s office desk, Site-27.
Note: An equation that states to solve the █████ paradox is currently taking up question #21 on the paper. All attempts to solve it – including currently accepted answers in the science community – have come back negative.

Item Description: Ten (10) Trigonognathus kabeyai (Viper Sharks) that exclusively eat credit cards. Upon consumption of a credit card, the account of the credit card will pay any loan debt belonging to its owner. This starts with loans with the least debt and procedurally rises. The tips of the fins are seen as glowing with a lime color.
Date of Recovery: May 15th, 2018
Location of Recovery: Approximately four-hundred meters deep in the Pacific Ocean. The object was brought to the foundation's attention when small scientific vehicles reported glowing fish. Researchers involved in the discovery were administered amnestics.
Current Status: Currently in a spare aquarium in Site - 225. If I figure out this is where my credit card went, I'm going to be upset. - Dr. Issac

Item Description: Clear plastic water bottle, 1/2-liter size. A patch of dried glue indicates that a label was once present but has been removed. Any liquid placed within the bottle will rapidly cool to a temperature of approximately 5 degrees Celsius. How this occurs is unknown. The composition of the bottle shows no means of causing such an effect.
Date of Recovery: January 11th, 2026
Location of Recovery: The home of ██████ █████████, a suspected member of the GoI "Are We Cool Yet?"
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A Samsung USB solid state drive containing no interior components, completely functional when connected to a computer running specifically Windows 11. As of January 19th, 2026 it is formatted in the Windows NTFS file system, containing 3,262,930,128,896 bytes (2.96 TB) of data, with "nil" bytes of unused space.
Date of Recovery: January 17th, 2026
Location of Recovery: An office complex inhabited by employees of ████████ Games UK Limited, found in the possession of █████ ███████. █████ ███████ seemed unaware of the item's anomalous effects, and was given Class A amnestics following the object's seizure.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A Heckler & Koch MP5SD2 which vocalizes the German phrase "mein leben" in an as of yet unidentified male voice when the charging handle is physically impacted by a human hand. Disassembly reveals no discernible audio source.
Date of Recovery: April 30, 2025
Location of Recovery: ██████ ████ Public Shooting Range, Rockwell, North Carolina.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A set of 36 household fans with exposed blades, of varying brands & appearances. The blades of these fans are completely intangible when in motion. This also prevents them from producing airflow.
The conceptual nature of each item comprises a meme that compels an observer new to any one item, but familiar with the overall set, to wearily remark on that item's mundanity and falsehood.
Date of Recovery: 2026-05-23
Location of Recovery: A factory in ███████, Connecticut, United States.
Current Status: In storage. Testing discouraged. Will you guys shut up? - Dr. Edvards

Anomalous Items 1571 - 1580

Item Description: A small, spherical object with an exterior composed of tissue similar to that of an orange (Citrus Sinensis). The object’s interior is filled with small gears and cogs that are constantly in motion, regardless of external resistance.
Date of Recovery: October 2, 2026
Location of Recovery: A small apartment in the city of London.
Current Status: In storage, following an incident where Junior Researcher ██████¹³severely injured his index finger by placing it inside of the object.
Note: Stick your finger in the Clockwork Orange, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. -Junior Researcher ██████

Item Description: A visually ordinary apple (Malus Domestica) that, when not in contact with a solid object, slowly rises into the air at a pace of exactly 1 centimeter per 15 seconds.
Date of Recovery: December 2, 2025
Location of Recovery: The desk of Researcher ███████
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A singular banana (Musa acuminata Cavendish Subgroup) which continuously emits approximately 253,000 roentgens (2,219 grays) of ionizing radiation. This radiation has been found to only affect members of the primate order of mammals. Item exhibited early signs of decomposition before burial. Recovery for further examination is currently of least concern.
Location of Recovery: ██████, Texas.
Current Status: Secured in Deep Geological Anomalous Storage Unit-19.

Item Description: Small hand bell, mahogany and brass construction. When rung, the sound of the bell is not particularly loud but does draw the attention of all human subjects within hearing range. Anyone hearing the bell finds themselves compelled to wrap up what they were doing as quickly and efficiently as possible so they can attend to whoever rang the bell.
Date of Recovery: February 1st, 2026
Location of Recovery: Columbus, OH
Current Status: Being tested.
Note: At the time of writing, it is currently unclear whether this effect is cognitohazardous. Testing with subjects who possess high psychic resistance and/or methods of resisting such effects has proven inconclusive. - Researcher Malkin

Item Description: A standard issue Foundation work laptop. Whenever the laptop is used to reply to, forward, move, or delete an email, a blank envelope containing a printed copy of the email's contents will appear in the mailbox of Site Director ███████'s home. These envelopes will continue to appear even if no physical space is available, causing extensive damage to the mailbox.
Date of Recovery: March 23, 2024
Location of Recovery: Junior Researcher ████'s cubicle.
Current Status: In storage.
Note: Testing of this item has been strictly forbidden by Site Director ███████.

Item Description: A dog training clicker. When pressed, it will prompt any canine specimens within one-hundred (100) meters to begin barking. It will also gain the attention of any person or persons within fifty (50) meters who considers themselves a "dog-person."
Date of Recovery: April 15th, 2025
Location of Recovery: Seattle, Washington.
Current Status: In storage.
Note: This item is permitted to management personnel during meetings with uncooperative personnel.

Item Description: A human pelvic bone that can only be described as belonging to former musician Elvis Presley.
Date of Recovery: July 20th, 2025
Location of Recovery: ███████ County, Pennsylvania.
Current Status: Used by personnel at Site-██ to demonstrate the existence of mind-altering anomalies to new staff.

Item Description: A small steel cube that teleports exactly 2.54 centimeters northeast of its current position every two minutes, annihilating any matter that previously occupied its new position.
Date of Recovery: January 4th, 2023
Location of Recovery: Inside the western wall of Dr. ████’s office.
Current Status: An unidentified location within the Earth's crust, following an incident in which it fell from a table during a containment breach at Site-██.

Item Description: A shrub apple (Malus brevipes) tree. Genetic analysis identifies its DNA as identical to that of the most recent recipient of the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. All traits are otherwise consistent with a baseline adult of its species.
Date of Recovery: 2-17-2022
Location of Recovery: Dominion Arboretum, Ottawa, Ontario.
Current Status: In storage in Site-201 garden. Samples gathered yearly.

Item Description: A Hot Ones brand hot sauce (Specifically Los Calientes) that, upon being put on any food, duplicates it. This only happens if there is enough space to accommodate the newly created duplicate.
Date of Recovery: June 6th, 2015
Location of Recovery: Whole Foods Market, 6055 O St, Lincoln, Nebraska
Current Status: Used in Site-14's kitchen.
Note: Absolutely delicious. - Agent Marco

Anomalous Items 1581 - 1590

Item Description: A red heart shaped box which produces eighteen (18) pieces of various flavored chocolates every Valentine's Day. When consumed, individuals who experience romantic and/or sexual attraction feel a heightened sense of affection and confidence when interacting with those of their sexual preference, while those who do not instead experience an uptick in platonic interactions.
Date of Recovery: February 14th, 2024
Location of Recovery: A table in Site-███'s cafeteria.
Current Status: Stored in low-risk storage, but available for staff during Valentine's Day.
Note: "I don't know who brought it, but you've saved me a lot of hassle trying to put my feelings out there." - Researcher Cecil

Item Description: A four-piece navy blue wizard costume set including a white beard, a wizard hat, a robe with silver stars on its side, and a 57" wooden staff. While wearing the complete set, individuals develop minor reality warping abilities until the costume is removed.
Date of Recovery: October 31st, 2018
Location of Recovery: Suburban house in Middlesex County, New Jersey.
Current Status: Kept within a low-risk containment locker at Site-74.
Note: "No, you can't wear it during D&D night. Not even if it helps your role-play." - Senior Researcher Merlin

Item Description: A pair of unbranded, non-prescription rectangular eyeglasses. When worn, the subject will experience temporary deuteranopia color blindness until the object is removed.
Date of Recovery: 07-03-2006
Location of Recovery: Republic of the Philippines
Current Status: Stored within low-risk containment locker at Research Site-09

Item Description: A small vinyl figure, 4 inches tall and 4.15 inches wide, resembling Site Director ██████ wearing a lab coat. When observed, individuals will feel compelled to place any valid bank notes, coins or items of significant monetary value in front of the object.
Date of Recovery: July 4, 2006
Location of Recovery: Foundation Site-██
Current Status: Stored in low-risk containment at Site-██
Note: "All items, cash and coins found to be offered to the object have been at least attempted to be returned to their owners. For anything that was left unclaimed, they were added to the site cash pool."

Item Description: Ceramic teapot, decorated with a pleasant woodland design. When used to make tea, the pot will keep the tea pleasantly hot far beyond what should be possible under the current understanding of physics, seemingly indefinitely. Using the pot for other beverages seems to have no unusual effect.
Date of Recovery: February 24, 2026
Location of Recovery: Found at a garage sale in Detroit, Michigan
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: White cotton handkerchief, monogrammed with initials in black thread. When held by a human subject, the initials change to match those of the holder when the item is unobserved. Apart from a much higher resistance to damage and staining than would be expected from the materials, the item appears to have no other anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: February 24, 2026
Location of Recovery: Columbus, OH
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: Set of aluminum dowsing rods, similar to those believed to be of use for locating buried water. However, it is known that the rods will instead lead the user unerringly toward the nearest source of cooked meat.
Date of Recovery: February 24, 2026
Location of Recovery: In a lost and found box at a bus station in [REDACTED], North Carolina
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A dozen cantaloupes (Cucumis melo). When within 10 feet from any operating system, all active sessions of any editing software will be forcibly terminated, followed with a notepad opening on the OS that contains an ASCII art of a cantaloupe. Notably, this anomalous effect bypasses any autosave, backup, or recovery feature, resulting in the loss of multiple unsaved personnel projects.
Date of Recovery: March 1, 2026
Location of Recovery: Site-███ Cafeteria
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A stainless steel .357 magnum revolver with a 14 centimeter barrel and an ivory grip. Along the barrel of the gun the message "When It's Time" is etched. The gun, on multiple occasions, has been confirmed to be unjammed and fully loaded; Despite this, previous owners of the gun have consistently refused to discharge a single round, even in life-or-death scenarios. Those surviving said encounters claimed to be "saving it for something more important than [themselves]."
Date of Recovery: January 5th, 1990
Location of Recovery: █████, ███████
Current Status: In the possession of Dr. Renato.

Item Description: A metal can, of similar size to commercially available coffee cans. A paper label was once present but was torn away, leaving only scraps. The word "nuts" has been crudely scrawled on the metal by a black marker. Shaking the can indicates the presence of something inside, but there seems to be no way to tell. Removing the lid, which is plastic and easily removed, reveals another, identical lid underneath. Thus far, there seems to be no upper limit to the number of lids present, and therefore no way to access the item's contents.
Date of Recovery: March 10, 2026
Location of Recovery: An abandoned bus station in Toledo, OH
Current Status: Being tested.

Anomalous Items 1591 - 1600

Item Description: A handheld chromatic tuner which causes instruments played within a two meter radius to sound either exceedingly flat (-50 cents) or exceedingly sharp (+50 cents). Thus far, no instruments tested have passed a threshold of -45 or +45.
Date of Recovery: July 25th, 2015
Location of Recovery: ████ Music Shop in Upper Manhattan, New York.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: Black silk top hat, consistent with 19th-century manufacture, though no information on the maker is visible. When a human living subject wears the hat, others refer to the subject as "sir" and agree them to be "a fine gentleman", or words to that effect, regardless of gender or species.
Date of Recovery: March 10th, 2026
Location of Recovery: An abandoned farmhouse in northern New York state, USA
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: Small medallion featuring St. Anthony, patron of lost items, on a chain. No visible manufacturer's information. Seemingly made of stainless steel, no visible wear and tear. If lost by a human subject, the item will find its way back to the subject's possession within 12-16 hours, through a chain of events that are highly unlikely though not impossible. If the item is left behind deliberately, the anomalous effect does not activate.
Date of Recovery: March 14th, 2026
Location of Recovery: Abandoned on a park bench in Chicago, IL
Current Status: Being tested.
Note: It was initially unclear whether this item truly was anomalous, but the sheer statistical improbability of a chain of highly unlikely events happening every time the object is lost means it belongs on this list. - Researcher Malkin

Item Description: A "Go to Jail" card from the board game Monopoly. When presented to an individual in any legal authoritative position, the receiver will feel a compulsion to relieve the presenter of any legal consequences, regardless of any prior criminal history or lack thereof. No other game pieces exhibit anomalous properties. Notably, the board game set from which this item was recovered was missing its "Get Out of Jail Free" card.
Date of Recovery: 9/5/1999
Location of Recovery: The █████ Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
Current Status: Held in low-value storage.

Item Description: An itemized bill for an unidentifiable service. The total of all items is lower than the requested payment. All people who read the bill, will be compelled to pay it. All alleged payments appear in the main funds of a random charity.
Date of Recovery: 17/6/2005
Location of Recovery: Doctors Office in Colorado US.
Current Status: Held in low value storage.

Item Description: A standard 9mm pistol unable to fire unless timed on beat "2" of a musical piece composed or able to be transcribed in common Western music notation. Music must be audible to the gun's handler, but not necessarily any observers (for example, it is able to be fired with correct timing by a handler listening to a song using noise-canceling headphones). Item is unable to be fired by a Deaf handler, in ordinary silence, or during a musical piece written in a time signature in which the upper numeral is 1 less than 2¹⁴
Date of Recovery: 31/7/2008
Location of Recovery: A firing range in █████, Virginia, United States.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A standard █████████-brand circular waffle maker that can only be referred to in the third or second person. To date, all attempts to use first person pronouns have failed. Individuals that remain around it for an extended period of time report feeling a stronger sense of self.
Date of Recovery: 5/10/2021
Location of Recovery: Purchased from a now-closed thrift store for Site-██’s staff kitchen. Anomalous effects discovered 2 years later after custodian ██████ reportedly ‘tried to make it talk in a funny voice while flapping it open and closed’.
Current Status: Remains in Site-██’s staff kitchen.

Item Description: A brass cylinder approximately 1.25 centimeters in diameter, engraved with the phrase "L'Exploseur de cafards." When placed on a flat surface, it will begin to slowly gravitate towards the closest sheet of blank paper. Once it reaches the sheet, all instances of Periplaneta australasiae¹⁵ in a five-meter radius of the object will violently combust, and the triggering paper will catch fire.
Date of Recovery: 09/28/2025
Location of Recovery: A warehouse in [REDACTED], Nevada.
Current Status: Stored in a standard containment locker in Site-19's Safe Containment wing. SCP classification pending.

Item Description: A patchy straw boater hat with a striped red and white grosgrain ribbon around the crown. When worn by an individual, regardless of previous vocal training or lack thereof, they develop the ability to harmonize with any voices around them. Anyone within a one meter radius will be invited by the wearer to join until a quartet is formed, with all members of a full quartet able to hold perfect harmony until the item is removed.
Date of Recovery: October 1st, 2006
Location of Recovery: ████ Street, Disney World, Florida.
Current Status: Kept within a low-risk security locker, but available for staff events upon request.

Item Description: Dry-erase board, approximately the size of a standard sheet of office paper. Can be used as normal with any appropriate markers, and seems normal when used beyond a heightened resistance to stains of any kind. When kept in a human subject's vicinity during sleep, the anomalous property of the object becomes apparent. If something recognizable to others is drawn on the board, and left within 10 meters of a sleeping person, the person will have dreams involving whatever was drawn.
Date of Recovery: April 19th, 2026
Location of Recovery: Found in a storage room in an office building in Columbus, Ohio.
Current Status: Being tested.
Note: On the back of the item is a very small etching of a symbol associated with the Oneroi Collective. Whether or not this is related to the anomalous property of the item is unknown. - Researcher Malkin

Anomalous Items 1601 - 1610

Item Description: A British Railways Mk1 carriage painted in the company’s standard crimson and creme livery. Gravity within the carriage’s corridor will always point down relative to the floor regardless of the true orientation of the carriage. The gravity within the compartments vary in direction and are of similar persistence regardless of the carriage’s orientation.
Date of Recovery: September 14th, 1949.
Location of Recovery: Doncaster Works, England
Current Status: Site-██ vehicle containment, Shed-6.

Item Description: A notebook capable of recording the final memories and wishes of dead personnel in Site-19.
Date of Recovery: 07/03/2011
Location of Recovery: Site-19.
Current Status: Burnt by Dr. Vũ.
Note: Don’t repeat past mistakes.

Item Description: A vinyl record of the song “Shout!” by The Isley Brothers with a minor scratch on its B-side. When the B-side is played on any device capable of playing vinyl records, the record will begin to skip at approximately the 85 second mark, at which point the lyrics¹⁶ will repeat and volume of the song will increase exponentially until the record is removed from the player or the player is turned off. As of writing, the loudest sound produced was approximately 157db.
Date of Recovery: August 21st, 20██
Location of Recovery: Found in the rubble of the home of Mr. ██████, Cincinnati, OH.
Current Status: Stored in a standard containment locker in Site-19's Safe Containment wing. SCP classification pending.

Item Description: A ceramic sculpture of a "Garden Gnome," with a large white beard wearing a blue tunic, olive green pants, black boots, and a red cap. The gnome is depicted standing with its hands at its side, and a mournful expression. Analysis has revealed a complete and active human nervous, respiratory, digestive, renal, and circulatory system within the sculpture. Electroencephalograms matched patterns consistent with those of humans experiencing excruciating pain.
Date of Recovery: May 1st, 2003
Location of Recovery: A ███████ ██ located within ██████, West Virginia
Current Status: Located at Site-██'s Staff Recreation Room Decommissioned per Ethics Committee mandate on March 23rd, 2026
Note: Several other (currently undocumented) anomalous items were seized and decommissioned on March 23rd, 2026 following an unannounced examination of Site-██.

Item Description: A 4.0oz tube of █████™ sour ooze candy, labelled as being blue raspberry flavored. When the contents of the tube come into contact with human saliva, the consumer's skin pigmentation will rapidly adopt a dark blue color¹⁷ over approximately 1.25 seconds following consumption. Treatment for affected individuals is currently limited to cosmetic surgery, as there are (as of March 23rd, 2026) no known ways to reverse the changes to the skin's pigmentation.
Date of Recovery: September 8th, 2025
Location of Recovery: ███████ Family Residence, ███████, North Carolina.
Current Status: Stored within the refrigerator of Site-██'s Staff Recreation Room Transferred to low-risk storage following the events of March 23rd, 2026.
Note: The Ethics Committee would like to remind all foundation personnel that anomalous items are strictly prohibited from usage in staff hazing rituals.

Item Description: At least three 15-centimeter long copper rods engraved with the words "rod of rods." When one of the rods comes into contact with bare human skin for more than five seconds, an identical rod that shares the original's anomalous properties will materialize within a solid object less than one kilometer away from it.
Location of Recovery: On a desk in the home of reality bender Edward ████████.
Current Status: In a secure storage facility beneath Site-██. SCP classification pending.

Item Description: Blue cotton vest, similar to those marketed for fishing purposes, with several pockets. When worn by a human subject, and the subject begins to pat the pockets in an attempt to find a specific item, a small but useful item will be found in one of the pockets. Any object produced in this way is not necessarily what the subject wanted at the moment, but is typically useful in the current situation. Objects produced are non-anomalous and can be used as normal. When not used in this fashion, the pockets contain only what was left in them most recently (which should be nothing, outside of testing situations).
Date of Recovery: June 8th, 2026
Location of Recovery: Discovered in the lost and found box at a public park in [REDACTED], following online rumors of a magical fishing vest.
Current Status: Being tested; proposals for testing with potential Anomalous Items or SCP-level objects is under review.

Item Description: A paperback scientific work of literature containing 1120 pages, labelled on the front cover as "The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Normalities Fifth Edition," abbreviated to "DSMN-5" in the subtitle. Anomalous effects manifest when the book is read by a conscious individual literate in the English language whom has been diagnosed with any mental disorder described in the non-anomalous DSM-5¹⁸. Upon the last utterance of a paragraph's contents describing the subject's mental affliction, they will find the effects of their disorder no longer active. Extended evaluations and observation conducted by foundation psychiatrists and therapists have revealed that this "cure" is ineffective, with an extended tendency for self harm and suicidal behavior observed among patients within as little as 30 days after exposure.
Date of Recovery: June 10th, 2017
Location of Recovery: Office B7, The Waites-Bathory Insitute for the Mentally Disturbed, Massachusetts, United States of America.
Current Status: In possession of Site-██'s senior psychiatrist, Dr. Wittenberg Transferred to low-risk storage following the events of March 23rd, 2026.

Item Description: Transparent plastic rain cape. No information regarding the manufacturer is visible as the tag has been removed. When worn by a human subject during a period of rain, the wearer of the cape becomes unable to be consciously noticed by others unless his or her presence is pointed out, but others will unconsciously avoid running into the individual. Any actions taken by the subject in question are explained as mere coincidence.
Date of Recovery: June 17th, 2026
Location of Recovery: In a lost and found bin at [REDACTED] High School, Providence, RI
Current Status: Undergoing testing.

Item Description: A wooden shepherd's crook measuring 1.55 meters, with its hook able to broaden and shrink when in contact with a sentient subject. When an individual or animal is ensnared either by the neck or leg via the hook, they become unable to escape until released by the handler.
Date of Recovery: 6/4/2026
Location of Recovery: County Clare, Ireland.
Current Status: Stored within a standard containment locker.

Anomalous Items 1611 - 1620

Item Description: A dagger from the Mycenaean era of Greece. Skin contact with its blade causes temporary paralysis in human beings.¹⁹
Date of Recovery: February 3rd, 1884
Location of Recovery: Lyon, France. Traded to the Estate Noir²⁰ by the private collector Percival Darke as part of a larger exchange.
Current Status: Held in Site-17's anomalous item storage vault.

Item Description: A common fly (Musca domestica), which, after being killed by Dr. Cuco, transmuted into a currently unidentified human corpse.
Date of Recovery: October 12th, 2013
Location of Recovery: Storage Site-23, [DATA REDACTED]
Current Status: Held at Site-23's cryogenic containment area.

Item Description: A standard compass made of copper which works like any other compass, although when faced perfectly north the user will hear it say "You are currently facing south". This is not heard by anyone but the person holding the compass. From there on out it is impossible for the user to call north, north. Instead calling it south, as well as calling south south. The user knows that north is not south, and is able to state that north is in fact north on paper or with any other non verbal means of communication.
Date of Recovery: April 12th, 2015
Location of Recovery: Northern Arkansas, USA from a camping store.
Current Status: Held in Site-17s Anomalous Item Storage Vault

Item Description: A domestic cow, (bos taurus) the subjects’ fur is a pale yellow and is otherwise normal, additionally subject has a Santa hat stitched to its head. Instead of milk, subject produces eggnog from its utters.
Date of Recovery: December 8th, 2008
Location of Recovery: A field in Kentucky, first sighted by a local hiker.
Current Status: Held in a low security containment cell at Site-19
Notes: Well we certainly found this one at the perfect time, she’s sure to make the holiday preparations easier. — Researcher Klaus.

Item Description: An ongoing phenomena surrounding the account "ShadowFan52" on the website "ROMHackBus.org", an internet forum. The account documents an elaborate personal life and regularly interacts with other users, however there is no other evidence of the individual existing. Research indicates that the activity of the account is created by a chain of highly unlikely events²¹ that not only happen at abnormal frequency but consistently cause data corruption that manifests as coherent posts the software can render. This occurs regardless of where the server for "ROMHackBus.org" is stored.
Date of Recovery: June 2nd, 2004.
Location of Recovery: A server farm in California.
Current Status: "ROMHackBus.org" at the time of writing only has fifteen remaining non-anomalous users, and the owner of the platform has expressed losing interest in continuing to operate and pay for the website. Site-15 has assembled protocols to continue to host to preserve the anomaly and use Foundation staff to interact with the account so it does not experience mental deterioration from isolation, assuming that there is an actual intelligence responsible for the activity and it is not simply random chance. Being assigned this task is currently being considered a punishment for staff.

Item Description: A series of wind-up plastic toy cars with a purple and yellow color scheme, including a yellow "W" on the license plate and wheels. None of the components or packaging have identifying manufacturing marks, besides the design of the toys superficially resembling various well-known car models. None of the staff at the store it was recovered from could recall how the shipment arrived, simply finding it in a warehouse. On the underside each toy is molded to read "SuperMobile by Dr. Wondertainment™". Besides apparently being made by an anomalous organization, the objects show no properties inconsistent with a similar product made by a mundane organization.
Date of Recovery: May 7th, 2024
Location of Recovery: A store in Florida
Current Status: Placed storage by Foundation intelligence in the event they will later reveal notable information on Group of Interest supply lines.

Item Description: A model 37 scranton reality anchor typical of those produced by Site-11's manufacturing complex. When supplied with power and the activation sequence is engaged, it rapidly turns all humans involved with running the sequence into life-size animate porcelain who retain their original memories. However, the machine also continues to perform its original function which rapidly reverts everybody caught in the process back into humans after a few seconds. Theoretically this could be circumvented by having the controls out of its range, but the process of testing this has been deemed too resource-intensive to attempt.
Date of Recovery: May 11th, 1931
Location of Recovery: Regional Operation Outpost 37-9
Current Status: In storage, disassembled and spray-painted red to prevent accidental activation. The device has not been officially recognized as "defective" as it still technically performs its function perfectly, simply with an unrelated anomaly.²²

Item Description: A book titled "Puns to Annoy Your Friends With." If a human subject reads the entire book, they will be compelled to tell puns to all nearby individuals. Individuals that hear these puns will be compelled to punch the subject. All anomalous effects will dissipate after the subject is punched.
Date of Recovery: February 22nd, 2004
Location of Recovery: ██████ Joke Store, Barcelona, Spain
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A yellow padlock, which makes any human subject that makes physical contact with it believe that the Sun will explode in the following 10 seconds. Anomalous effects disappear after subject realizes the Sun didn't explode.
Date of Recovery: March 12th, 2025
Location of Recovery: ███████ Gym, Kalasin, Kalasin province, Thailand
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A 6 made of white plastic. Despite lacking any identifiable marks, any subject exposed to it will correctly identify it as a 6 instead of a 9 even when presented upside down.
Date of Recovery: October 7th, 1995
Location of Recovery: ███████ School, Independència, Guairá Department, Paraguay.
Current Status: In storage.

Anomalous Items 1621 - 1630

Item Description: A 2.2 m x 1.7 m x 2 m volume of atmosphere that acts like a solid with properties similar to jelly.
Date of Recovery: January 1st, 1953
Location of Recovery: Billy-sous-les-Côtes Currently Vigneulles-lès-Hattonchâtel, France
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A standard, unbranded cardboard tissue box that contains an infinite supply of non-anomalous wood-pulp tissues. X-ray scans of the interior show a distorted spatial region.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██
Location of Recovery:An aged care facility in Oregon.
Current Status: Kept tethered in the Staff Breakroom at Site-██. Desk fans are strictly prohibited from the vicinity following an incident where the room was buried in tissues.

Item Description: A wooden door painted pink. Following its opening, a male instance of Velociraptor mongoliensis will manifest on the other side of the door before vocalizing in English, "Do you mind? We're very busy," closing the door and demanifesting. Attempts to stop this set of events have consistently failed.
Date of Recovery: June 12th, 1993
Location of Recovery: Middle of a steppe in Southern Mongolia.
Current Status: In possession of the Department of Paleontology for research purposes.

Item Description: A worn mahogany bureau that is consistent with early 19th century manufacture. When an individual attempts to write on a piece of paper while at the bureau, a vocalization near the individual will offer advice for any subject matter the individual is currently thinking. Writing via digital devices yields no anomalous effects.
Date of Recovery: 20/06/1937
Location of Recovery: An antiques shop in London, UK.
Current Status: Kept in low-value storage.

Item Description: A 15" statuette of a traveling salesman holding two briefcases, with attire consistent with the late 1940s. When viewed by a group of individuals, regardless of whether or not an auction is currently being held, each viewer feels a strong compulsion to place a bid on the item. Subsequent bids increase the price by ██%, and continue until all parties involved can no longer afford to bid. Viewing the item alone or with no currency present results in anomalous effects not manifesting.
Date of Recovery: February 10th, 1999
Location of Recovery: A Marshall, Carter, & Dark auction held at ████ ████, China. Once obtained by MTF Mu-3, the item's final price reached approximately ¥██,███,███.██ over it's original value of ¥2,030.
Current Status: In storage. A sign is posted near the item's containment locker prohibiting any form of currency in the area.

Item Description: Glass marble, visually identical to commercially available varieties. Appears non-anomalous until viewed by a human subject, at which point the subject will become convinced that the item is capable of moving on its own, and has done so when the item was unobserved. Pointing out that the item is still in its original position will have no effect, as this will be rationalized. This effect is relatively weak and fades quickly.
Date of Recovery: July 14th, 2026
Location of Recovery: A thrift store in Maryland
Current Status: In low-value item storage.

Item Description: Yellow toy train powered by a single AA battery able to operate normally with discharged batteries. Item is also able to operate normally with fully charged batteries. Capable of operating with the same battery continuously for over a week while sustaining no damage to the electric motor or any sign of overheating. Leaving the battery on its compartment has resulted in no corrosion to the terminals after being left in place for more than one year, even when the same batteries leak after being retired and placed on other artifacts. Attempts to track the item's origin have been futile. Examination of the toy's components, like wheels or gears provided no anomalous properties on them.
Date of Recovery: June 24th, 2021
Location of Recovery: Flea market in Lima, Peru.
Current status: In possesion of researcher S██████ Y████.
Notes: It's just a little fine addition to my collection of trains. Gotta take good care of it. — S██████ Y████.

Item Description: A bronze and iron mechanism that functions as a perpetual motion machine.
Date of Recovery: July 12th, 2026
Location of Recovery: Basement in Hamamatsu, Japan
Current status: In storage
Notes: Due to the great number of perpetual motion machines discovered by the SCP Foundation, further additions to this log of this nature will be rejected. — Lead Researcher John A. Squires.

Item Description: An octagonal green street sign labeled "GO" which exhibited cognitohazardous effects on drivers
Date of Recovery: July 24th, 2026
Location of Recovery: Intersection of Shadowwood Dr. and Maple Valley St. in Gun Barrel City, TX.
Current status: In storage
Notes: Casualties: 1 dead, 3 injured. Foundation operatives working with law enforcement have explained the two crashes as the result of faulty accelerator pedal installation by a local auto repair shop.

Item Description: The remains of D-7238, who spontaneously exploded in the Site cafeteria after eating a peanut. D-7238 didn't possess a peanut allergy.
Date of Recovery: June 23rd, 2011
Location of Recovery: Storage Site-23, [DATA REDACTED]
Current Status: Held at Site-23's cryogenic containment area.

Anomalous Items 1631 - 1640

Item Description: An anomalous quality able to transfer itself between containers meant to drink liquids from currently affecting a red plastic cup. Transference occurs the moment the current vessel is damaged enough to prohibit its use, at which point the quality will move to the nearest suitable target. The effect causes nearby individuals to become assured the object in question is the legendary holy grail and that it possesses multiply undefined anomalous abilities.
Date of Recovery: October 9th, 2011
Location of Recovery: Landfill in Jerusalem
Current Status: Undergoing testing by the Alchemy Department.

Item Description: A giant dog of the Great Dane breed, 1.5 meters tall. The subject possesses wings identical to those of a bat; however, due to its large size, these wings are useless for flight.
Date of Recovery: August 11th, 2008
Location of Recovery: Xinbuzi, Shaanxi, China.
Current Status: Housed in a wildlife observation deck.

Item Description: A preserved human thumb wrapped in ancient linen cloth. Physical contact with the object causes feelings of hostility toward minorities and foreigners to develop, as well as a sudden surge in patriotism. All effects vanish once the object is released. DNA testing has been inconclusive.
Date of Recovery: August 21st, 2008
Location of Recovery: Hidden storage space in Poenari Castle, Romania
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A solid obsidian statue of a Komodo dragon (Varanus komodoensis) that causes random modifications to the flow of tachyons in a sphere of effect 3 meters in diameter, causing the flow of time to accelerate, slow, or reverse.
Date of Recovery: January 8th, 2009
Location of Recovery: Small Town of ████████, Spain
Current Status: Held in causal independent containment cell to prevent the creation of paradoxes.

Item Description: The taxidermy remains of a 3-meter tall humanoid entity with moose-like characteristics. DNA analysis anomalously matched both Homo sapiens and Alces alces simultaneously.
Date of Recovery: April 27th, 2008
Location of Recovery: Vancouver, British Columbia
Current Status: In display at Site-65.

Item Description: An unknown object that mimics the appearance, although not the function, of the nearest object. Its real form is currently unknown. It constantly emits small quantities of X-rays.
Date of Recovery: July 8th, 1947
Location of Recovery: Roswell, New Mexico
Current Status: Contained in a lead-lined container.

Item Description: Two stable, unreactive atoms of flerovium-114, a nuclide consisting entirely of protons
Date of Recovery: September 3rd, 1999
Location of Recovery: Dubna, Russia
Current Status: Contained in an ion trap.
Notes: As of August 9th, 2026, all attempts to repeat synthesis have failed

Item Description: A pack of gum, similar but not identical to many commercially available varieties. If any pieces are removed from the pack, the pack will be found to be full within 24 hours. Gum never loses its flavor no matter how long it is chewed.
Date of Recovery: August 12th, 2026
Location of Recovery: Akron, Ohio
Current Status: Available for use by Site personnel.

Footnotes

1. The Magic 8 Ball was invented in 1946.

2. This dish wand is so powerful that it washes away bad press with its bureaucratohazardous and memetic effects! It can't be described, but rather, must be advertised! Failure to describe it in a positive, bombastic manner is punishable by death, and will result in vaporization by the wand's self-defense mode, which is powerful enough to also melt away any offending recorded materials!

3. Using any other dish soap triggers the self-defense mode, vaporizing the user instantly!

4. Even living creatures, which have all the moisture taken from their bodies in ten seconds!

5. The wand can reach temperatures up to 52 million ⁰C!

6. Agfordtage Co. is not responsible for any injury or death caused by misuse of the Magic Wand.

7. Attempts at conventional containment procedures were deemed to portray the Magic Wand in a negative

8. A member of Site-19 staff with Level 3 Clearance, with approval from at least one Lead Researcher from Site-19's Anomalous Items Department.

9. Effect applies to standard six or twelve-string guitars.

10. (1)

\begin{align} \frac{1 + \sqrt{5}}{2} \end{align}

11. It was Pizza Day at Site-██ at the time.

12. A seemingly exact copy of the anomaly appeared at the same spot on May 21, 2025, though it has the opposite probabilistic effect. This "lucky jersey" is given as a reward to especially loyal researchers and field agents on game night.

13. Junior Researcher ██████ has requested that he remain anonymous.

14. Testing of this point involved an experimental composition in "√2/4", created by Researcher Hira solely for said test.

15. More commonly known as the Australian cockroach.

16. “A little bit louder now (Shout!)”

17. Described as "Navy Blue" by ███████ ███████ during recovery following a call to 911.

18. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition

19. Injury with the blade is not necessary for paralysis to take effect.

20. French precursor organization.

21. Including power surges, bit-flips from solar rays and one instance of an anomalous cyber-criminal trying to use an infohazard to shut off large portions of the internet that was stopped by the Foundation.

22. Frankly, I don't care if anybody thinks it should count as "defective", or have a separate classification, or just be a regular anomaly or whatever. Obviously, nobody is going to use it on accident and my team has spent too many decades being the middle man between the Central Anchor Engineer Guild and RAISA argue about this. End of discussion.