Foreword: The SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items become useful or necessary in the future.
– Dr. █████ █████, Head of Research, Site-██
This list is no longer open to new entries, but is part of a series, the most recent of which is open to new additions:
- Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol I
- Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol II
- Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol III
- Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol IV
- Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol V
- Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol VI
- Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol VII
Lists of Extranormal Events and Unexplained Locations have also been compiled.
Note: Please add new entries to the bottom of the list, not the middle or the top.
Anomalous Items 1251 - 1260
Item Description: A small stuffed giraffe animal. Anomalous effects occur when the object is taken during the holder's vacation1 where the object will reappear at its last location prior to being taken. The holder of the object will then become visibly upset upon realization of the missing object.
Date of Recovery: 2023-08-23
Location of Recovery: Private residence in Manchester, UK.
Current Status: Held in Anomalous Object Storage at Site-40.
Item Description: A rimless standard automotive road tire, which upon contact with any sort of road surface initiates autonomous movement, independent of any external force or propulsion.
Date of Recovery: 2010-17-24
Location of Recovery: Tollbooth on Interstate 90 near Hanover, New York, USA.
Current Status: Held in Object Repository 2 at Site-47.
Item Description: A miniature fog machine that, when held, causes all beings other than the wielder in a 500-meter radius to have their perception completely nullified, with those affected having reported a "cold" entity covering their eyes.
Date of Recovery: 11/07/2022
Location of Recovery: ████████, Alaska
Current Status: Held in storage at Site-██
Item Description: An unidentified species of spider notably with an undulating abdomen, when in physical contact with a subject's skin, subjects will feel a crawling sensation around their body for an indefinite duration.
Date of Recovery: 23-09-2022
Location of Recovery: Greenwich, London
Current Status: Resides within an insectarium at Site-88
Notes: Yes, an insectarium can have other inhabitants other than insects.
Item Description: A rectangular oakwood breadbox that contains an aluminium breadbox of equal size within itself. This aluminum breadbox contains a ceramic breadbox of equal size within itself. This ceramic breadbox contains a plastic breadbox of equal size within itself. This pattern seemingly continues infinitely.
Date of Recovery: 8/28/23
Location of Recovery: Residence outside of Kangar, Malaysia
Current Status: Contained in Site-351.
Notes: Testing of this item has been halted in part due to the emergence of bread boxes made of harmful materials (AO-1255-319 was composed of Lead, AO-1255-320 was composed of Technetium-99m), and upon the subsequent realization that it is not possible to place a breadbox back inside of another breadbox of equal size.
Item Description: A custom-built revolver matching no known model of firearm. It is engraved with ornate patterns along the barrel depicting numerous figures kneeling as if in prayer. The object of their worship is not depicted. Any shot fired from the weapon is guaranteed to hit its target, so long as an attempt is made to aim towards it, and the injuries inflicted upon any living target struck are invariably fatal. Firing it instantly kills the wielder. Anyone who touches the object becomes immediately aware of its anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: 1/27/98
Location of Recovery: Cellar under an abandoned bar in Chicago, Illinois
Current Status: Held in the High-Security Anomalous Weapons Storage Wing of Site-██
Item Description: A large granite stone, hovering in perpetual stasis. A narrow slit extends deep into the object, originating at its top. A plaque on the front reads "Can you get it out?"
Date of Recovery: 4/01/1998
Location of Recovery: Nottingham, England
Current Status: Buried beneath a large mound of dirt. Signs placed around indicate that it is private property.
Notes: Sword remains to be found. - Dr. Lafrentz.
Item Description: One indigestible carrot, currently in 26 59 pieces. Energy and mass from the object are wholly unable to be converted or removed, causing the intact fragments to inevitably reemerge 1-5 days after consumption.
Date of Recovery: 1996-02-12
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED] Hospital in Mukawa, Hokkaido prefecture, Japan
Current Status: Held at Site-195 for long-term thermodynamics research.
Item Description: One skateboard, hand-painted with designs of various Brazilian politicians as mythical creatures and cartoon characters. When an individual attempts to perform an "ollie" with the item and manages to bring it >25 centimeters upward, the item will teleport to the nearest flat surface with preservation of momentum. No additional items or entities are teleported.
Date of Recovery: 2023-04-26
Location of Recovery: A physics laboratory at Federal University of Ceará, Fortaleza, Brazil.
Current Status: Held at Site-95's Vehicular Translocation Lab for initial testing.
Item Description: A copy of an early draft of the Magna Carta as written by Cardinal Stephen Langton (1148-1228), engraved on a Martian boulder. Notably, this draft still contains mentions of the early [REDACTED] before its removal by agents of the Vatican, making it the highest-quality early record of [COGNITOHAZARD EXPUNGED] infiltration to date.
Date of Recovery: 1962-11-29
Location of Recovery: -███°██'██", +██°██'██", Olympus Mons, Mars
Current Status: AO-1260 successfully relocated to Earth via SCPBEaTRIX VI mission 1985-10-26. Currently held at Site-367 for long-term storage.
Anomalous Items 1261 - 1270
Item Description: A digital file entitled "iswearthisisisit.mp4". On the file is most of an unknown high fantasy film of generally unremarkable quality, sans the first several minutes and the credits, as recorded from an unknown movie theater. The appearance of certain actors suggests an origin in the mid 2040's, though this remains unconfirmed. Most noticeably, several instances of SCP-2009-012 are visible in the theater, accompanied by an unidentified chaperone. The instances are generally unintrusive, although one is later shushed by other theatergoers for repeated cheering during the film's third act.
Date of Recovery: 2021-02-24
Location of Recovery: www.████████████████.███
Current Status: Held at Media Containment Area-88. Relevant information shared with SCP-2009's containment team, although no plans for recontainment have been drafted on account of the event's current nonexistence.
Item Description: Plastic mask modelled after the fictional character of ██████-███ which, when worn, will cause the wearer to believe they are a mutant entity by the name of "Majoomble Beeble" and to refuse to answer to any other name. While affected, they will believe that they possess supernatural speed, strength, and durability. The mask does not grant these abilities. The effects end once the mask is removed.
Date of Recovery: 6/4/21
Location of Recovery: Confiscated from civilian residence in Brooklyn, NYC.
Current Status: Contained in anomalous articles storage, Site-28.
Item Description: A 43-inch Samsung smart TV. When tuned to any channel or streaming application associated with the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC), the television will display an unidentified male pundit, who paces a narrow street3 and monologues about contemporary politics. To date, this host has never ceased commentary, the camera has never cut away, and background lighting has never changed.
Date of Recovery: 2018-04-12
Location of Recovery: Commercial electronics store in downtown Toronto, Ontario.
Current Status: Stored in the employee lounge at Site-201 to encourage awareness of current events above the Veil.
Item Description: A box of Crayola brand crayons containing sixteen colors that don't exist in any other box. Such colors include "Demon's Bile", "Skies of the Apocalypse", "Orange Beyond Comprehension", and "Key Lime Pie". When used to draw, these crayons produce images related to their name regardless of what the user attempts to draw.
Date of Recovery: 2005-01-19
Location of Recovery: Elementary School in Plainfield, New Jersey
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A large pet carrier that contains a lesser demonic entity with the head of a rabid dog and the body of a reticulated python. Runes are carved and painted onto the side of the carrier, and the entity is incapable of leaving it even as the door is opened. Any material produced by the entity is trapped within the carrier as well, such as the acidic bile it spits and the skin it sheds.
Date of Recovery: 1995-05-20
Location of Recovery: Church in ███████, Kentucky
Current Status: Held in the Demonic Containment Wing of Site-██.
Item Description: A mason jar in which a number of non-anomalous insects will appear at night during the summer. Species seen manifesting within the jar include painted lady butterflies (Vanessa cardui), common eastern fireflies (Photinus pyralis), and asian tiger mosquitos (Aedes albopictus). All insects that manifest in the jar will demanifest within a few hours of appearing or whenever the jar is opened. Item's anomalous properties are nullified when the jar is left open.
Date of Recovery: 2019-07-04
Location of Recovery: Springfield, Massachusetts
Current Status: In storage from September to May, in Dr. Piper's office from June to August.
Item Description: An unmarked white detonator stick with a bright red button made of plastic. The button remains spring-loaded up via an unknown mechanism; upon disassembly, the internals of the hollow stick are empty, and opening it immediately stops the button from being usable. Viewers including those seeing it remotely through cameras, and those who are within 12 meters of the button experience a compulsion to press it, yet are unable to bring themselves to do so at the final stages of preparing to press it. Those in the 12 meter area will feel distress upon the button being pressed. Pressing the button has been revealed to do nothing, although it makes such a satisfying click in the recording.
Date of Recovery: 2008-11-21
Location of Recovery: Under a couch at 16 Balmoral Street, Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
Current Status: In a glass box covered in cloth. Occasionally taken out to Site-43's storage room to show it off to new researchers, as a demonstration of mentally altering effects.
Note: Yes, you are allowed access to the button upon request. No, that doesn't mean you can dare your coworkers to press it and then not work for six hours while the coworker has a panic attack.
Item Description: One male Vulpes vulpes4 composed of various woven grasses. No individual organs exist, with the interior instead being uniform and featureless. Object generally shows expected intelligence and behavior for its species, but is functionally immortal due to its non-centralized brain function and the possibility of repair.
Date of Recovery: 1956-06-20
Location of Recovery: Daisen-Oki National Park, Japan
Current Status: Held in a custom enclosure at Site-19. Object nicknamed "Flora" by containment staff.
Item Description: A new irreplicable platonic solid made from styrofoam, with a surface consisting of thirteen heptagons with a side length of 6 cm. Attempts to trace its surface often result in sub light speed teleportation, either across its surface or to the hollow interior of the structure if size permits.
Date of Recovery: 1979-07-27
Location of Recovery: Laboratory at the University of Balochistan, Quetta, Pakistan
Current Status: Held in Site-127's AGEZ-α5.
Item Description: A black cassiterite crystal weighing 415 grams. While held, the holder firmly believes that "shadow" or "void" or a variation thereof6 should be classified among all elemental systems, such as the periodic table, lists of elementary particles, and any fantasy magic system that attempts to fully categorize its magic variants. This belief instantly subsides upon releasing the object.
Date of Recovery: 1923-09-15
Location of Recovery: In the crypt below Saint George Greek Orthodox Church, Beirut, Lebanon
Current Status: Held in a Size-II object storage locker at Site-367 with appropriate memetic hazard warnings.
Anomalous Items 1271 - 1280
Item Description: A marble statue of a young woman holding a basket. Humans directly viewing this statue are initially convinced that its robes have never been painted regardless of prior knowledge, though can be persuaded otherwise.
Date of Recovery: 1965-05-27
Location of Recovery: Ruins of Rhamnous, Attica, Greece
Current Status: Held in a Size-VI object storage locker at Site-265.
Notes: Analysis of remaining flakes of paint indicate that AO-1271's robes were in fact once a light aquamarine.
Item Description: One ██████-brand package of black-colored gobstopper candies, which, when bitten, implode violently in the mouth of the person who bit them, turning into a black hole of equivalent mass which then rapidly dissolves into Hawking radiation.
Date of Recovery: 9/19/2023
Location of Recovery: ██████, Florida
Current Status: Contained in Site-37 Size-B containment.
Item Description: One Cyanea capillata7 comprised of several hundred plastic grocery bags. Item is capable of levitation and does not require food, though will occasionally mimic eating when provided with its expected diet. Behavior is abnormally friendly and curious, with aggression only being shown when recreational items or similar anomalies are removed from its enclosure.
Date of Recovery: 2001-06-07
Location of Recovery: Abandoned █████████ and Sons Grocery Store, Coatzacoalcos, Veracruz, Mexico
Current Status: Held in a suitably large enclosure at Site-75 with occasional visitation from other constructed anomalies to ensure enrichment.
Item Description: Metal sign reading "No dogs allowed past this point". Any animal in the genus Canis is physically incapable of moving past the sign of its own accord or being moved past the sign by an outside force. How this occurs is unknown.
Date of Recovery: 2023-09-01
Location of Recovery: Outside a public beach in Miami, FL
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A small device of hasty but highly knowledgeable construction which constantly emits a faint buzzing noise at 14 kHz and derives power from [5/4039 CLEARANCE REQUIRED]. When any individual observes or attempts to discern the location of AO-1275, the item teleports to a random unobserved location, preferably within 10 meters of the original location.
Date of Recovery: 2022-12-05
Location of Recovery: A Chaos Insurgency site in [REDACTED], Mexico
Current Status: Item lost in Site-195, Warehouse 03 during initial containment amidst testing of an unorthodox reacquisition method. Last sighted 2023-08-25 under Technician Access Port L3325-H. Current location is believed to be somewhere in the basement of Site-195, Warehouse 03A, most likely between Greater Technician Access Zones M32 and N36, though buzzing has been detected as far away as GTAZ-G29, GTAZ-O16, GTAZ-Z38, and Site-195's Aetherial Occlusion Lab. Recovery is considered a Moderate priority.
Item Description: One adult female Raphus cucullatus8 moving at approximately 1/1,000,000,000th speed. A significant amount of scratches exist across its feathers, though due to the fleeting nature of the respective causes, no actual damage has occurred to or been noticed by AO-1276. As of 2021-02-03, AO-1276 is believed to have experienced a subjective 12.4 seconds since its capture in the summer of 1629 CE by the Commission on Unusual Cargo.
Date of Recovery: 1929-12-15
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], England, during the transfer of anomalies from the decommissioned HMFSCP to the young SCP Foundation.
Current Status: Held in a stress-free long-term animal containment unit at Site-195. Proposals to attempt to communicate with AO-1276 have been denied due to the necessary time investment and its low intelligence.
Item Description: The blade of a spatha produced sometime in the late 2nd or early 3rd century CE. When contacted by a living or deceased human, the item will produce roughly 10-70 grams of salt from its surface per second. The amount of salt produced and its location of origin correlates to the contacting individual, although no further pattern has been determined.
Date of Recovery: 1949-01-30
Location of Recovery: Cavern beneath [REDACTED], Turkey, along with approximately ███,000,000 kilograms of salt due to the attached remains of an unknown adult male.
Current Status: Held in a Size-III object storage locker at Site-248. Created salt successfully transferred to Foundation Financial Resources as of 1962-07-16.
Item Description: One highly worn ████████ brand men's flannel jacket. Upon donning the item, the current wearer will believe themselves to be the only person alive to truly understand the meaning of American Pie, a 1971 song by Don McLean. This effect subsides on doffing the item or listening to any other song in its entirety.
Date of Recovery: 2002-11-07
Location of Recovery: Thrift store in Duquesne, Pennsylvania, USA
Current Status: Held in Apparel Frame SAF060-U23-46559 at Site-60.
Item Description: Nineteen Ceratotherium simum9 whose front most horns resemble various instruments, fifteen of which are brass instruments. This trait is genetically transmissible. Specimens are otherwise healthy and normal, beyond an improperly developed right hind leg in AO-1279-04.
Date of Recovery: 2009-07-10
Location of Recovery: Various locations in Mozambique and Zimbabwe
Current Status: Held in Site-135's Eastern Extraspacial Enclosure to prohibit human and SCP-9142 poaching.
Item Description: Cheung ████ (1996-), who is aware of all humans exactly 50 meters away in any direction and whether they are approaching or leaving. No other information is dispensed this way.
Date of Recovery: 2022-06-10
Location of Recovery: Private residence in Yau Tsim Mong, Hong Kong, China
Current Status: In low-level humanoid containment at Site-06-3. Undergoing testing for the Employed Anomaly Program due to his previously unused degree in biochemical engineering.
Anomalous Items 1281 - 1290
Item Description: Slightly battered copy of Dracula, printed in 1986, which can only be read by someone intending to enjoy the book for its own sake. If the book is opened by someone intending to read it for some other purpose, such as self-improvement, the printed letters slide off the pages and fall to the floor, rendering the pages blank. The letters demanifest approximately 5 minutes after the book is closed, or immediately if the book is picked up by a subject who meets the book's criteria.
Date of Recovery: 2023-08-18
Location of Recovery: Used book store in Cincinnati, OH
Current Status: Available at Site-46 for reading by all personnel.
Item Description: An adult female Vampyroteuthis infernalis10 with an antimemetic reflection.
Date of Recovery: 2023-09-14
Location of Recovery: Research vessel █0 km ██ of Papua New Guinea
Current Status: Held at Site-72 for intake testing and transfer to long-term containment.
Item Description: An indestructible transparent case containing what appears to be a 5x5x5 cm cube of soil. An attached plaque reads "FIRST SAMPLE OF TERRA, AS RECOVERED BY NAMU HULNARIUS OF THE LETO X MISSION - ALL OF SELENE THANKS YOU FOR YOUR SACRIFICE".
Date of Recovery: 2022-11-16
Location of Recovery: Kennedy Space Center, Merritt Island, Florida, USA
Current Status: Held at Site-367. Testing to open the case is ongoing.
Item Description: A brown glass bottle that will reassemble itself 30 seconds after it is broken. The process of reassembly occurs on an elementary particle level.
Date of Recovery: 9/15/23
Location of Recovery: Found on the side of ███████ Road in Blantyre, Malawi
Current Status: Contained in MAST Storage at Site-334.
Item Description: A Nerf Rival Atlas XVI-1200 which, when equipped, causes the holder to perceive the toy as though it were a real firearm. After 24 hours of no physical contact with the item, subjects will no longer perceive it as a firearm.
Date of Recovery: 1/02/22
Location of Recovery: Purchased by a Foundation janitor, and promptly surrendered to containment.
Current Status: Contained in Site-43 Low-Value anomalous storage.
Item Description: A leather glove, which automatically transmutes all polyethylene it touches into polycarbonate, and all polycarbonates into polyethylene. The duration of this change is roughly 1 second per cubic centimeter. Objects altered by the glove cannot be altered again. It appears that when worn, the wearer of the glove may be able to exert some influence over the process.
Date of Recovery: 9/19/23
Location of Recovery: LoI-2999 ("Abandoned Chaos Insurgency R&D Facility")
Current Status: Contained in Site-300 in a steel lockbox in Room-004.
Item Description: Pieces of a broken clockwork machine that seemingly dissipate all energy around them. Evidence suggests it is a failed attempt at constructing a perpetual motion machine.
Date of Recovery: 9/19/23
Location of Recovery: LoI-2999
Current Status: Components scanned and catalogued. Due to the inability of the object to be moved, and the danger of the item, the destruction of the item through matter-antimatter interaction has been proposed. Currently, the location LoI-2999 is guarded to prevent civilian discovery.
Item Description: One extremely large rotting apple of the Fuji cultivar, cut apart and reshaped into an anomalously durable IBM Personal Computer. This computer is functional and contains no applications other than the first-person shooter Doom (1993), which can be played without issue.
Date of Recovery: 2004-03-17
Location of Recovery: Occult site believed to hold connections to Steve Wozniak located under San Jose, California, USA
Current Status: Held in cold storage at Site-99
Item Description: 942 square centimeters of tiles from a "doom painting" from the ████ █████ ██ █████████ Cathedral depicting scenes from the Book of Revelation with heavy focus on the judgement of souls. Pigments contained within these tiles continuously shift hue and shade to create the impression that all humans in the image are moving in various ways, such as kneeling, bowing, wailing, running, or hiding. Notably, a large group of these humans in white or black robes move so as to anachronistically recreate the Bad Apple!! (1998) music video in its entirety.
Date of Recovery: 1960-08-24
Location of Recovery: ████ █████ ██ █████████ Cathedral, ████████, Aragon, Spain
Current Status: Held at Site-146 with permission from GoI-033, the Roman Catholic Church.
Item Description: A hinged cabinet door with a mirror on its front. When obscured by steam and subsequently wiped, all current viewers will see a leering face with grossly exaggerated proportions smiling at them until they break eye contact. This face does not otherwise respond to stimuli.
Date of Recovery: 1986-10-31
Location of Recovery: Private residence in Sheridan, Wyoming, USA
Current Status: Held in a Size-IV object storage locker at Site-35.
Anomalous Items 1291 - 1300
Item Description: 894 ml of mint-scented hand sanitizer. Upon exposure of AO-1291 to human skin, the affected individual will become significantly more likely to somehow become covered in dirt or mud, such as by tripping, intense outdoor play, searching for worms or other burrowing creatures, usage of dirt or mud in sexual experimentation, or wandering into a swamp or active construction zone11.
Date of Recovery: 2023-02-06
Location of Recovery: Public park in Kirovo-Chepetsk, Kirov Oblast, Russia
Current Status: Held in a Size-II object storage locker at Site-218.
Item Description: One personal fishing boat that is four meters in length. This boat cannot be willfully anthropomorphized as any gender other than male.
Date of Recovery: 2020-08-12
Location of Recovery: Private residence in Cleveland, Ohio, USA
Current Status: Held in parking unit CGU095-A04-33663 at Site-95.
Item Description: One green toy hard hat. The current wearer of the item is unable to perceive all ceiling tiles currently comprising a ceiling, and views all ceiling tiles in other locations as translucent and indistinct.
Date of Recovery: 2015-11-28
Location of Recovery: ███████ ███████████ Offices, an office building in Muharraq, Bahrain
Current Status: Held in a Size-III object storage locker at Site-109.
Item Description: One container of █████-██-█████ brand bug repellent. All members of the family Culicidae12 in an exactly 1 km radius of AO-1294 ignore all humans in the radius and attempt to congregate at a point 38 meters ESE of the bottle until their death by dehydration or predation. As this secondary location is well within the radius of AO-1294's effects, the amount of affected organisms dramatically and incessantly rises when used in their natural habitat.
Date of Recovery: 2013-07-19
Location of Recovery: Pirin National Park, Bulgaria, following reports of "a deafening black cloud" hovering above a trail.
Current Status: Held in a Size-II object storage locker at Site-78. Initial associated organisms terminated via sustained immolation. No salvageable biomatter remained for study.
Item Description: A Dr. Wondertainment brand " Speedier Cube™ " that speeds up time for the person currently solving the cube by a factor of 2.
Date of Recovery: 2019-04-28
Location of Recovery: Yokohama Sanbo Hall, Japan, following reports of a person breaking the world record for the 3x3 Rubik's cube 8 times in a row.
Current Status: Held in high-value item storage.
Note The item was previously held in low-value item storage. It has since been moved to high-value item storage after several junior researchers have been caught attempting to use it for various self-serving ends.
Item Description: A plastic Mellivora capensis, that if shaken, gives a speech about the user's present mental state, current relationships, and gives validation. After that speech, it will give a brief note about how to improve the mental state of a user. The speech lasts no more than 30 minutes, and the note lasts for any time range between 5 minutes and [REDACTED].
Date Of Recovery: 2023-09-25
Current Status: Used as a tool for Foundation therapists. Currently in the possession of Dr. Anderson. Partially melted after accidental exposure to fire.
Note The item was kept in low-value storage, as users only reported a 'long-winded speech'. After usage by Dr. █████, the item's therapeutic values were discovered and was taken to the on-site therapist.
Item Description: One statue of a servant bowing and holding a plate bearing several food items such as sandwiches, a bottle of wine, and a large ham. The statue and held items are composed entirely of various molds and fungi, and any items generally considered safe for human consumption placed on the plate section are converted to a similar composition.
Date of Recovery: 1973-07-21
Location of Recovery: Museum basement in Pingyao, Shanxi province, China
Current Status: Held in a Size-VI object storage locker at Site-182 for long-term mycological studies.
Item Description: One empty Gatorade bottle. All inserted water is converted to Lime Cucumber Gatorade via a(n) RE113 transmutation ritual at a rate of 71 mL/s.
Date of Recovery: 2022-02-24
Location of Recovery: Private residence in León, León Department, Nicaragua
Current Status: Held in a Size-II object storage locker at Site-120 for research into minor transmutation.
Item Description: One paper character sheet for the fifth edition of Dungeons and Dragons sloppily describing a human bard. Any human who makes direct contact with this sheet instantly gains awareness of the definition and most common usages of the term "skald"14, and become aware of their sudden knowledge gain.
Date of Recovery: 2021-02-02
Location of Recovery: Private residence in Tramore, Waterford County, Ireland
Current Status: Held in a temperature-controlled Size-III object storage locker at Site-35.
Item Description: One molar belonging to an adult instance of Canis lupus dingo, with an estimated age of 30,000 years. When the item is exposed to blood from any mammal, all food consumed by that mammal since the most recent local sunrise as well as energy derived from such is annihilated in violation of the conservation of energy.
Date of Recovery: 1965-08-23
Location of Recovery: School in Kiunga, West Province, Papua New Guinea
Current Status: Held in a Size-I object storage locker with proper biohazard warnings at Site-206.
Anomalous Items 1301 - 1310
Item Description: One unrotting cream-filled donut. When contacted by any individual willingly working as law enforcement, even through cloth or paper, the individual is teleported to a semi-random location in the Greater Dantean Hellscape, typically ring units 01/07/01-01/09/03, 03/01/01-03/04/09, 08/01/01-08/02/01, 08/05/01-08/05/07, or the entirety of D5 "Wrath" and D7 "Violence". However, due to [5/2718 CLEARANCE REQUIRED], all affected individuals are promptly returned to the world of the living.
Date of Recovery: 2020-12-13
Location of Recovery: ███████, a restaurant in Chicago, Illinois, USA
Current Status: Held in a Size-II object storage locker at Site-666 for transgenic research.
Item Description: One spy satellite briefly operated by the [REDACTED] government in the year ████ CE. All footage taken by the satellite depicts a yet unrecognized timeline of generally little note beyond the increased size of humans (typically a 30-90% gain), the diminished presence of the SCP Foundation and Global Occult Coalition, and the occasional presence and reverence of [5/5709 CLEARANCE REQUIRED].
Date of Recovery: ████-██-██
Location of Recovery: 30°██'██"S 142°██'██"E, South Pacific Ocean
Current Status: Held in a Size-VII object storage locker at Site-242 for extrachronal analysis.
Item Description: A small ceramic teapot measuring approximately 10 centimeters in height, with intricate floral patterns painted in faded blue. When the teapot is filled with water and brought to a boil, the steam it produces causes anyone who inhales it to experience vivid and immersive hallucinations of being inside the apartment room contained within SCP-002, despite having no prior knowledge of the object. These hallucinations are highly detailed and can last for several minutes to several hours, depending on the duration of boiling.
Date of Recovery: 06/15/20██
Location of Recovery: An antique shop in [REDACTED], Portugal, near the area where SCP-002 originally made impact.
Current Status: Contained in a secure locker at Site-170.
Item Description: One bag of frozen peas, long expired. Any human who makes direct contact with this item for >30 seconds will develop a fever of exactly 38.5°C (101.3°F). This effect ceases upon touching any item typically warmed to cook food (e.g. a stove, pot, kettle, microwave).
Date of Recovery: 2007-07-20
Location of Recovery: Store in Hammerfest, Norway
Current Status: Held at Site-206 for long-term medical research.
Item Description: 596 435 bottles of 15 proof India pale ale, as produced by the ████████ ███████ Brewery. Upon total consumption of a bottle's contents, the consumer gains a total awareness of the proper usage and implementation of the International Phonetic Alphabet until they regain sobriety.
Date of Recovery: 2005-12-01
Location of Recovery: ███ ██████ █████████ Pub in Yeovil, Somerset, England
Current Status: Held at Site-227's Gustolinguistics Research Center to determine the effects of long-term use.
Item Description: One business card which can be flipped in any direction to display a specific face from a two-dimensional grid of possible faces, with these names slowly becoming more and more nonsensical the further they move towards Designated North. The original face, if one exists, is unknown and likely unknowable.
Date of Recovery: 1972-05-20
Location of Recovery: Newspaper stand in Nantes, Loire-Atlantique, France
Current Status: Held in a Size-I object storage locker at Site-73 on Face +011,359/-002,707 "Denrendenrenden Schuwindle, First-and-one-half-class Loitering Salesman, Tomfoolery Enthusiast, and Rebellion Inducer, Unwanted"15.
Item Description: One mummified adult male Anas platyrhynchos16. Water and any material containing water is unable to pass within exactly one meter of the item. Teleportation of water to this region consistently fails.
Date of Recovery: 1977-07-04
Location of Recovery: Nestlé Headquarters in Vevey, Vaud, Switzerland
Current Status: Held in an appropriately isolated avian biomaterial storage unit at Site-25.
Item Description: Frame that once contained a mirror, which has long since been broken. A few shards of mirrored glass at the edges reveal its original purpose. Anyone viewing the item suffers a mild cognitohazardous effect, causing them to believe that 1) the object is a mirror, and 2) their lack of reflection means they are a vampire. This causes the affected to do such things as avoid sunlight, wait for an invitation before entering a dwelling, etc. The effect is purely mental, and can be counteracted by touching anything perceived to be holy.
Date of Recovery: 2023-10-01
Location of Recovery: An estate sale in Atlanta, GA, which featured a great deal of memorabilia from the movie Dracula and other vampire movies.
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: An empty antique inkwell with the quill from a golden eagle. Once filled with ink and written, the writer will write in a combination of Latin, Greek, and Arabic, even if the writer does not know the language. If someone who can read all three languages were to read it, they would read a seemingly random scholarly writing from the Renaissance era with all mentions of the original author being replaced with the writer's name. These articles are often from unknown authors from Egypt, Rome, and Greece. The last article recorded was of a thaumaturgical ritual on how to use a soul to write memories.
Date of Recovery: 2003-08-05
Location of Recovery: A forest in Baiersbronn, Germany, surrounded by various pieces of parchment from different parts of the world, such as Egypt, Rome, and Greece.
Current Status: In storage at Site-54.
Anomalous Items 1311 - 1320
Item Description: A bottle containing water with contamination comparable to local river water. When drunk, inner organs touched by the liquid become impervious to damage. The liquid has otherwise no noteworthy properties.
Date of Recovery: 2013-08-02
Location of Recovery: Pheneus, Greece
Current Status: Brought to Site-77 for long term storage.
Item Description: A 22cm combat knife. The object becomes anomalously dull and unable to cut when in contact with any object, unless the word "anything" is printed in English or Swedish on the object in question.
Date of Recovery: 1972-10-12
Location of Recovery: Malmö, Sweden
Current Status: Held in low-risk object storage at Site-120.
Item Description: A large size T-shirt depicting the rock band "Cobra Starship" on the front, along with the phrase "Good Girls Gone Bad". Female-identifying individuals who wore the shirt gained black-dyed hair and black eyeliner, as well as a reported change in attitude aligning with individuals in the "emo" subculture. Effects are reversed when the shirt is taken off.
Date of Recovery: 2012-04-09
Location of Recovery: "Matty T's Thrift Store!" In ████, Illinois
Current Status: Held in a Size II object locker at Site-25
Item Description: A freshly caught fish, perpetually on fire. While undergoing combustion, the anomaly shows no sign of decay. Additionally it has a mind-altering effect which influences nearby individuals to react negatively to compliments, particularly regarding their appearance.
Date of Recovery: 2023-09-02
Location of Recovery: Reported to have spontaneously manifested in a server room in ██████ ███, where it was recovered.
Current Status: On 2024-██-██, the fire unexpectedly dissipated. Following this the fish began to slowly decay and no longer exhibited mental effects. After the object was confirmed to be Neutralized, it was incinerated.
Item Description: A 73 kilogram pumpkin that contains living human organs inside of it, including a heart, lungs, stomach, and brain, as well as teratomas composed of bone, muscle, and hair. Genetic analysis has determined that the genetics match those of missing person "David S. ████████" who went missing from his home in Oakland in 2016.
Date of Recovery: 10/31/2023
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED]
Current Status: Contained.
Item Description: Small metal and plastic key chain depicting a human brain with the legend "knowledge is power." Anyone who carries the item on their person for longer than 5 minutes gains the belief that they are highly knowledgeable about any subject being discussed. The item does not grant knowledge or intelligence, only the belief that the subject possesses them. Removing the item ends the effect.
Date of Recovery: 2023-10-27
Location of Recovery: A thrift store in Cincinnati, OH
Current Status: In storage.
Note: Investigation has revealed the original owner had ties to Group of Interest Are We Cool Yet?
Item Description: A photograph of the night sky. Subjects who look at the stars will report feeling melancholic. This effect subsides once visual contact is broken.
Date of Recovery: 12/21/1998
Location of Recovery: The ███████ residence in London, England.
Current Status: Currently in storage.
Item Description: A rubber ball, 30cm in diameter. Anyone who holds it will immediately report a sharp pain in their hand despite the lack of any sharp points.
Date of Recovery: 7/6/2008.
Location of Recovery: The ███████ high school in Trenton, New Jersey.
Current Status: In containment.
Item Description: A ████-brand bicycle with no wheels that functions as though it still has them. Attempting to put wheels on the bike will invariably result in them falling off.
Date of Recovery: 10/15/1990.
Location of Recovery: The ███████ residence in Springfield, Illinois.
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A 13yo British male, 161cm tall, whose center of gravity is located in its head, despite it being no larger than an average human head.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2019
Location of Recovery: ███████ middle school in Essex, England.
Current Status: Kept in a standard humanoid cell. Currently undergoing physiological therapy to try and help with its condition.
Anomalous Items 1321 - 1330
Item Description: A birthday cake that, when bitten into, is recorded to have the same density as concrete. Attempting to cut into it with eating utensils has the same effect. Power tools are effective at cutting into it, but it has been discovered that one can stick their finger into as easily as one could into a normal cake. It tastes and breaks down like a normal cake in the digestive system.
Date of Recovery: 2/29/2000
Location of Recovery: On a table in an abandoned building in New York, New York.
Current Status: After some small tests, the item was disposed of.
Item Description: A Raggedy Ann doll with several robotic spider legs protruding through it. Item is capable of locomotion, and shows behavioral patterns consistent with that of a common house cat.
Date of Recovery: 12/27/2009
Location of Recovery: ██████, Illinois.
Current Status: Kept in a low level containment locker.
Item Description: A Taurus TH9 pistol. When aimed at an individual under 14 years of age, the pistol is incapable of firing.
Date of Recovery: 2/27/2005.
Location of Recovery: São Paulo, Brazil.
Current Status: In a containment locker at Site 555.
Item Description: A Renaissance era statue made from marble depicting a non-euclidean structure structure is euclidean in nature, but anyone who sees it will insist that it is non-euclidean. Viewing the item indirectly, such as through cameras or videos, will counteract this effect.
Date of Recovery: April 5th, 2020.
Location of Recovery: A history museum in █████, Spain.
Current Status: In Dr. ███████'s office.
Item Description: An Equus ferus caballus17 that shares identical genetic makeup to Agent █████████. Subject shows no signs of sapience.
Date of Recovery: 7/6/2021
Location of Recovery: An abandoned farm in Boise, Idaho.
Current Status: Kept in a containment cell designed after a stable. Currently under the care of Dr. ███████.
Item Description: A 2-litre bottle of Pepsi which refills itself when not in a line of sight. While the liquid inside is chemically identical to normal Pepsi, subjects who drink will report it tasting like a random consumable liquid.
Date of Recovery: 1/21/2020.
Location of Recovery: █████████ college in Aberdeen, Washington.
Current Status: In a low level containment locker.
Item Description: A █████-brand guitar amp. Whenever any form of pornographic material is brought near it, it will begin to emit a loud shrieking noise reminiscent of a female adolescent in pain, regardless of whether or not it's plugged into a sufficient power source.
Date of Recovery: 7/26/2007
Location of Recovery: Saint Petersburg, Russia.
Current Status: Kept in Dr. ████████'s office.
Item Description: A wooden crucifix, heavily water-damaged. Anyone who holds onto it will invariably vomit a mix of sulfur, human blood, and [REDACTED].
Date of Recovery: 6/6/1966.
Location of Recovery: Paris, France.
Current Status: Incinerated.
Item Description: 4 mummified human cadavers, estimated to be from the late 13th century. When all 4 are within 6 meters of each other, they will begin to emit the sound of faint weeping.
Date of Recovery: 1/2/2020
Location of Recovery: Cairo, Egypt.
Current Status: In Site-200's morgue.
Item Description:A fully functional water fountain of unknown make or model that is constantly dripping water at intervals between 1 and 10 seconds between drips. Water still drips even if not connected to any water source. It is unknown where the water that goes into the drain goes. Testing has shown the water to be safe for human consumption.
Date of Recovery: 1992-02-05.
Location of Recovery:███████████ School in Neuss, Germany
Current Status: Held in Site-40 cafeteria.
Anomalous Items 1331 - 1340
Item Description: AI chat bot that periodically responds to queries with information regarding the O5 Council, inclusive of information that has never been recorded otherwise. The Foundation was made aware of the bot after news organization Breitbart published an article about the O5 Council. Article was deleted, virtual amnestics were applied, and the editor responsible for the article was terminated.
Date of Discovery: 02/19/2022
Location of Discovery: N/A
Current Status: Taken offline following discovery. IT personnel are currently in the process of tracing the bot back to its creator.
Item Description: An antique lamp that, when turned off, erases the nearest person to it from existence.
Date of Discovery: 12/09/2019
Location for Discovery: Venice, Italy
Current Status: Incinerated.
Item Description: A hockey puck that, when used in a hockey game, causes the player currently handling it to attempt to get the puck to as great of a height as possible. This effect is contagious, and may spread to other players via physical contact.
Date of Recovery: 10/14/1992
Location of Recovery: ██████ High School, Ohio, USA.
Current Status: In a low security containment locker at Site-99.
Item Description: The lack of a sandwich on one of Site-43’s cafeteria tables. It is unknown why there have been no attempts at placing a sandwich onto the table, despite multiple personnel claiming they intend to do so. Possibly antimemetic.
Date of Recovery: 12/05/2023
Location of Discovery: Site-43
Current Status: Desk has been moved to Site-43’s light containment.
Item Description: A set of poker cards, which emit an anomalous effect such that any poker table that comes within 30 feet of the cards will begin to degrade or decay at an as-of-yet undetermined but markedly increased rate. This effect will occur until the point where the table is effectively no longer recognizable or usable as table, after which the effect will cease.
Date of Recovery: 7/21/2013
Location of Recovery: Moscow, Russia
Current Status: Resides in a standard containment locker at Site-12.
Item Description: Two single serve ice cream bars, one vanilla-flavored and the other chocolate-flavored. The bars are wrapped in a light blue thin plastic wrap with no markings beyond the flavor of the bar and a nutritional label listing the calories per serving as 456,280. A third bar, labeled as strawberry-flavored, was mistaken for a misprinted product and consumed after retrieval by Agent █████. Agent █████ experienced severe trauma to their digestive system almost immediately after consumption, and remains in critical condition.
Date of Recovery: October 5th, 2018
Location of Recovery: ███████ ████, Auberg, Austria.
Current Status: Two unwrapped bars kept in frozen storage, wrapper of third bar considered lost.
Item Description: A 2014 model Dell Latitude E7440 laptop. Item contains a program titled 'InfiniteMoney.exe' that holds the exact winning EuroMillion lottery numbers, as well as the location for where the ticket is held. Tickets are for the following Friday.
Date of Recovery: November 7th, 2015.
Location of Recovery: ███████, Paris, France.
Current Status: Kept in a high storage locker in Site-314.
Item Description: A standard plant pot that when observed, causes the observer to have an uncontrollable desire to fill it with water. All attempts to fill the pot have been unsuccessful.
Date of Recovery: 7/11/93
Location of Recovery: San Francisco, California.
Current status: Accidentally shattered during testing. Shattered pieces had no anomalous properties. Object deemed neutralized.
Item Description: A papier-mâché mask of a red-colored devil, which possesses the thirteenth-highest CCRCD18 and the eighteenth-highest CRCD overall (48-).
The item is atypical in that it confers its effect not to its wearer, but to those around it, with its range only limited by the perception of the wearer.
Date of Recovery: 12/13/13.
Location of Recovery: Albuquerque, New Mexico. The past owner of the mask was found dead, after having been struck in the head by a falling mirror.
Current Status: Contained within a high-security object vault at Site-666.
Item Description: A keychain that resembles a standard birthday cake which duplicates when it is observed. On the bottom of the chain reads "No. 871".
Date of Recovery: 3/28/14.
Location of Recovery: Outside Site-40's entrance.
Current Status: On 4/1/14, all instances except the original de-manifested. The bottom of the original now reads "April Fools".
Anomalous Items 1341 - 1350
Item Description: A portable blue push button with a large white "X" on its surface. When pressed, whoever pressed it has their name (first, last, etc.) modified to contain one more X. This results in both them and anyone who knew them believing that this has always been their name and documents of any kind being instantaneously transformed to reflect this change. Memories are not completely modified, however, so the subject will still remember using their previous name, though they will always deny it ever having been their name.
Date of Recovery: 3/5/23.
Location of Recovery: The █████ Walmart Supercenter.
Current Status: In containment at the cognitohazard wing of Site-73. Permission must be granted from the Site-73 site director before testing.
Note: I've tested the object three times and it doesn't seem to work. -Jr. Researcher Xavier Foxx.
Item Description: A pair of plastic glasses with no markings or brands listed on the object, colored black. The lenses are in the shape of a 5 pointed star, with the left lens flipped upside-down. Subjects wearing the glasses report no anomalous effects when both eyes are open. However, if the subject closes their right eye, the subject will have their sight flipped, viewing the world upside-down. If the subject closes their left eye, the subject will have their sight distorted, with the specific distortion varying (ranging from what subjects describe as "like a funhouse mirror" to a fish lens effect). The effects will continue until the subject opens both of their eyes while they are still wearing the glasses. If the subject takes the glasses off, their vision will remain changed until they put back on the glasses with both eyes open.
Date of Recovery: 8/5/14.
Location of Recovery: Inside an abandoned residential house in Mt. Dora, FL. No occupants spotted or found.
Current Status: In Storage.
Item Description: A children's wind-up cartoon robot toy. When the object's key is wound up, the object's legs will move, but not perform any locomotive motion. Instead, within a 5m radius, a random object will move in the cardinal direction the robot is facing. The speed of the affected object is dependent upon its mass. The object cannot affect any item that is larger than itself. Items are affected by gravity when in motion.
Date of Recovery: 5/5/1955
Location of Recovery: The break-room of a toy store in London, UK.
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A standard magnetic name tag. Always displays the wearer's preferred name and pronouns.
Date of Recovery: 07/07/23
Location of Recovery: Hiring & Regulation Orientation, Site-64.
Current Status: Currently in use by H&R Conflict Resolution Specialist Crystal.
Item Description: A .mp4 file of Episode 4 of Murder Drones. Once viewed, a copy of Uzi Doorman19 will appear behind any unseen area and attempt to break the neck of the viewer. The copy can be easily neutralized. Any attempts to crop or delete the file result in the same thing, along with the file returning.
Date of Recovery: 12/17/23
Location of Recovery: Unknown
Current Status: Currently saved on Dr. Xenola's Macbook.
Item Description: A Mus musculus (House mouse). Organism is genetically identical to Ficus bengalensis (Banyan tree).
Date of Recovery: 8/24/87
Location of Recovery: Jacksonville, Florida.
Current Status: Died of natural causes.
Item Description: A hard drive containing a copy of The Sims 4. When loaded onto a device that is understood to be owned by a subject, all the default characters will resemble the friends and family of the subject. Otherwise, the game functions identically to its nonanomalous counterpart.
Date of Recovery: 10/14/2023
Location of Recovery: Inside a residential building in Miami, FL
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A shirt with the crossfit mascot "pukie the clown" on the front. Upon any person wearing it, they will tell everyone they can perceive that they do crossfit, and will try to access the nearest gym to perform exercises often performed in crossfit gyms.20
Date of Recovery: 7/21/2017
Location of Recovery: Inside of a Gold's Gym in Santa Cruz, CA.
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A parking meter. If used by a male individual, their testicles and genitalia will spontaneously explode. If used by a female individual, the nearest male individual’s testicles and genitalia will spontaneously explode.
Date of Recovery: 27/12/2023
Location of Recovery: Manhattan, New York, United States
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A wooden doorstop that can be unfolded into the concept of being alone.21
I’m personally a big fan of Mountain Dew.
Date of Recovery: That one time22
Location of Recovery: Site-⌘
Current Status: Used to keep Site-⌘‘s third closet from opening.23
Anomalous Items 1351 - 1360
Item Description: A standard metallic silver coin featuring two distinct unidentified symbols on opposing sides. When tossed in the presence of an individual, the coin induces a gradual and irreversible memory loss of the past 24 hours for the person observing the toss. The effect persists as the coin flips in the air and culminates upon its subsequent catch. Notably, the individual who initiates the toss remains unaffected by its cognitive effects.
Date of Recovery: 26/11/2023
Location of Recovery: Discovered resting on the floor within the breakroom premises of Site-999.
Current Status: In Storage.
Item Description: A copy of Eldest by Christopher Paolini. Every time the book is opened, the reader fluently speaks in one of the fictional languages for 30 minutes, with no apparent knowledge of the language.
Date of Recovery: 01/11/2024
Location of Recovery: A high school library in [REDACTED], Ireland.
Current Status: In a storage locker at Site-17.
"How the hell does this even work? Hvat unin du nam abr Azura?" - Dr. Strix Direnni.
Item Description: A printed copy of the SCP-131 file. Item flies around in circles when not kept in a container or held down by a weight, but is otherwise indistinguishable from normal paper.
Date of Recovery: 02/06/2023
Location of Recovery: Site-█
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: Standard wall clock, unknown make. Anyone viewing the object becomes compelled to continue doing so until line of sight is broken. Although subjects are incapable of voluntarily looking away, the effect is otherwise mild and can be easily broken if some outside force attracts the subject's attention, such as their name being called.
Date of Recovery: 1/20/24
Location of Recovery: In the employee break room of a Burger King restaurant, El Paso, TX
Current Status: In storage.
Note: This item came to the Foundation's attention after numerous reports of employees blankly staring at the clock. Records are unclear exactly when the clock was acquired, but it appears to have been at the location of recovery for at least four months before the anomalous property became apparent. - Researcher Somerset
Item Description: A standard A-4 sized blank paper that manifests the comprehensive biodata of an individual upon contact with the person's thumb. This effect is transient, ceasing when the individual's thumb is no longer in contact with the paper. The displayed data vanishes upon removal of contact and reappears solely upon subsequent physical interaction.
Date of Recovery: 24/12/2023
Location of Recovery: Palo Alto, California
Current Status: In Storage.
Item Description: A standard single subject spiral notebook that when written in, attempts to correct any spelling or grammar mistakes. These corrections are often nonsensical or wrong. Upon closing the notebook, all writing is erased.
Date of Recovery: 1/3/2024
Location of Recovery: Livonia, Michigan
Current Status: In Storage.
Item Description: Small ceramic container, similar in size to a standard cereal bowl, with a lid. Bowl and lid are painted black with yellow question marks. When the lid is removed, the bowl will contain objects of the time the person who touched it was thinking of most recently. Unique items, such as SCP-level objects, art pieces, or anomalous items, cannot be replicated. Only items capable of completely fitting in the bowl can be replicated. The items can be removed and used as expected, and appear to remain in existence indefinitely. When the lid is replaced, any items still in the bowl demanifest.
Date of Recovery: 1/28/2024
Location of Recovery: Richmond, Virginia.
Current Status: Being tested.
Item Description: Small wind-up music box containing a figurine of a ballerina. When wound by a human subject, the box plays a song with a meaningful connection to the subject's childhood, typically one invoking positive memories. Subjects often prefer to hear the music to completion, but this is believed to be due to nostalgia rather than anything anomalous.
Date of Recovery: 1/14/2024
Location of Recovery: An estate sale in Boston, Massachusetts.
Current Status: Available at Site 26, for use by all personnel.
Item Description: Wooden box of a size typically used for jewellery boxes. The lid is decorated with a painting of cherry trees in traditional Japanese style. The underside of the box has the words "property of Wilma F. Greyson" written on it in black marker. All subjects display reluctance to open the box, saying that it's "not theirs" and that "Mrs. Greyson wouldn't want me to." This occurs even if the subject has not read the words written on the underside of the box. If pressed to open the box, subjects refuse to remove anything from it, insisting that doing so would be stealing. Box contains inexpensive jewellery.
Date of Recovery: 2/1/2024
Location of Recovery: A storage unit in Key West, Florida.
Current Status: In storage. Investigation into the Wilma F. Greyson in question is ongoing.
Note: The owner of the storage unit had bought the entire unit and its contents, sight unseen, at an auction. He claimed not to know anyone by that name, but maintained that he was "keeping the box until Mrs. Greyson comes back for it." When it was pointed out that he knew no such person, he was unable to explain the oddity. - Researcher Somerset
Item Description: Black cotton/polyester blend T-shirt printed with the Batman logo. A tag attached to the object reads, "one size fits all"! When touched by a human subject, the individual changes in size until an ideal fit is achieved, neither overly tight nor overly loose. How this occurs is not known, and the change appears to be instantaneous and permanent.
Date of Recovery: 2/3/2024
Location of Recovery: Abandoned on a park bench in Chicago, IL.
Current Status: In storage.
Anomalous Items 1361 - 1370
Item Description: Blue plastic storage bin. "Socks" has been written on one side in black marker. When the item is unobserved, socks will appear in the bin at random intervals. These socks occasionally match other socks already in the bin, but only very rarely and seemingly by chance. Where they come from is not known.
Date of Recovery: 2/4/2024
Location of Recovery: An abandoned apartment in Las Vegas, NV.
Current Status: In storage. Available at Site 17, for use by all personnel.
Note: After a missing sock belonging to an agent assigned to the Site was found in this item, it was placed in a more accessible location in case of similar incidents.
Item Description: Acrylic painting of a Canada goose swimming in a small lake. The goose is shown near the left edge of the frame. Any human subject viewing the painting for longer than 3 1/2 minutes becomes convinced that the goose is trying to escape or has already done so. In the latter case, the effect extends to a belief that the goose is pursuing them, for reasons which cannot be articulated. This typically ends after 24 hours, but can occasionally last longer. █ subjects required psychological counseling to end the effect.
Date of Recovery: February 6th, 2024
Location of Recovery: An art gallery in New York City.
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A "cheap" 36 33 32-pack collection of common sports equipment, such as balls, bats, rackets, paddles, gloves, helmets, and other items of unknown brand. Equipment will semi-frequently phase through solid matter with the exception of floors or the ground, and freeze mid-air. Users of the equipment often blame "low quality" or "cheapness".
Date of Recovery: February 22nd, 2024
Location of Recovery: Walmart backroom in Norfolk, Virginia.
Current Status: Kept in a sports cart at Site-19's recreational center.
Note: "I threw a ball. It froze for 5 seconds, phased through the catcher, bounced off concrete, phased through 3 fences, and hit some poor janitor. Where can I leave a review on this low quality garbage? Already, we've lost several balls from them rolling god-knows-where through walls!" - Recreational Director ████
Item Description: A single piece of paper with a crude crayon drawing of a laughing emoji (😂) on it. When written about in a digital medium, it links the last word of every sentence to a video on YouTube.com; usually one that is intended as a humorous "parody" of an existing song by a well known artist. If the last word of a sentence is the name of an actual musician, that word will be linked to a video "parodying" a song by that musician; for example: HarryEdwardStyles. If the mentioned musician is one who has no "parody" videos made about them, the last word will be linked to a randomly selected video.
Date of Recovery: February 24th, 2024
Location of Recovery: A child delivery room in a hospital in Cardiff, Wales, the UK.
Current Status: Kept in the personal possession of Dr. Chair in Site-57 Site-59.
Note: Item was found shriveled, clutched in the hands of a newborn child. It is unknown how the item found its way into the womb of a pregnant woman.
Item Description: A small stuffed turtle that, when left unobserved, will disappear and relocate to a new hidden location. During this, it displayed no visual or auditory cues while doing so, however, some witnesses claim to hear giggling coming from the object. It will then stay stationary until it is found. When observing, it will stay immobilised.
Date of Recovery: February 29th, 2024
Location of recovery: Inside an empty dumpster outside an abandoned house in Columbus, Ohio.
Current Status: Inside a high-security storage locker at Site-81.
Item Description: Item is a ████████-brand pack of cigarettes that contains no cigarettes. Any cigarette placed inside the pack will no longer be visible when the pack is opened again. D-Class personnel involved in testing have observed feeling the pack slowly return to its empty weight while being held, but it will rapidly return to the weight to which it was filled if observed again before the pack completely returns to its empty weight. This phenomenon does not apply to non-cigarette objects, such as coins, paper, lighters, stone, meat, or vegetable matter, which retain their weight and will always remain in the pack. It does, however, apply to other tobacco and nicotine products, such as cigars, chewing tobacco, and paraphernalia such as pipes and electronic cigarettes, so long as they are small enough to fit inside the pack.
Date of Recovery: March 19th, 2024
Location of recovery: Found discarded in the parking lot outside of Foundation Site-19's Outpost-Gamma.
Current Status: Contained in low-priority object storage.
Item Description: A Kennedy half dollar, minted 1994. When used in a coin toss, the result will alternate between heads and tails with perfect consistency. If the coin is flipped an uneven number of times, it will always land balanced on its edge.
Date of Recovery: 2018-05-23
Location of Recovery: Spearfish, South Dakota.
Current Status: Held in the Low-Risk Inanimate Objects Warehouses at Site-76.
Note: Reported by Junior Researchers Rose and Stern after "best of three", "best of five" and "best of seven" contests all ended in stalemate.
Item Description: A ballpoint pen with blue ink, matches many commercially available pens. When used by any human subject, the writing will always be in a handwriting that has not yet been identified, but remains consistent across all uses and subjects. Ink runs out as normal and can be refilled; this does not affect the anomalous property.
Date of Recovery: March 21st, 2024
Location of Recovery: A doctor's office in Richmond, Virginia
Current Status: Being tested.
Note: Handwriting experts are being consulted regarding the results of using the pen, in hopes of identifying whose handwriting the pen creates. - Researcher Somerset
Item Description: Small hourglass, wood and glass construction, which contains 5 minutes' worth of sand. Carved into the wooden base is the phrase "defy expectations". When flipped, the sand in the glass flows upward, against gravity, from the bottom to the top.
Date of Recovery: March 21st, 2024
Location of Recovery: A thrift store in Miami, Florida.
Current Status: In storage.
Note: The store this item was found in has no record of it ever being acquired. All staff denied knowledge of having purchased it. - Agent O'Reilly
Anomalous Items 1371 - 1380
Item Description: Painting, oil and acrylic, depicting unidentified individuals in a large room lavishly decorated in late 19th century style. When viewed by a human subject who has seen the object at least once before, the subject is convinced that the figures have moved somehow, but is unable to articulate exactly how the figures moved. The figures remain stationary at all times.
Date of Recovery: March 22nd, 2024
Location of Recovery: Jefferson City, Missouri
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: Small hand mirror in a wooden frame decorated with carvings of seals. When used as a mirror by a human subject, the reflection displayed is what the subject wishes they looked like rather than an accurate reflection.
Date of Recovery: March 25th, 2024
Location of Recovery: Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Current Status: In storage. In a locked secure storage container.
Item Description: Deck of playing cards, unknown manufacturer. When held by a subject from a country with a currently existing monarchy, the faces of the "face" cards (king, queen, and jack) will resemble members of that country's royal family.
Date of Recovery: March 28th, 2024
Location of Recovery: Portland, Oregon
Current Status: Available for use by all personnel.
Item Description: A finely crafted music box featuring a rotating ballerina figure on top and playing melodies recognized from The Nutcracker has been observed. Upon activation via a twisting mechanism, the music box emits audible tunes, compelling individuals within proximity, regardless of physical impairments, to engage in balletic movements until the cessation of the music. Additionally, there exists a probability for autonomous activation of the music box, manifesting at irregular intervals.
Date of Recovery: 26/10/2021
Location of Recovery: Item was recovered at Site-24-AZ.
Current Status: In Storage.
Item Description: A pair of █████ █████ brand headphones. When worn in an empty room, the entry of another human will result in the feeling of a tapping on the wearer's left shoulder.
Date of Recovery: 2024-04-01
Location of Recovery: ██████ ███ ████ School, Shuangyashan, Heilongjiang, China
Current Status: Held in a Size-III object storage locker at Site-248.
Item Description: A █████████ brand waffle-maker. If this waffle-maker is powered while empty and the lid is closed and reopened, one fresh pancake will appear inside it. If this process is conducted while the waffle-maker contains batter, the batter will be replaced or transmuted into one strip of bacon. The insertion of bacon has no effect. Retrieved pancakes and retrieved bacon are identical to all other retrieved instances.
Date of Recovery: 2024-04-01
Location of Recovery: ██████████████ Cafe, Bruges, Belgium
Current Status: Held in a Size-III object storage locker at Site-68.
Item Description: One unopened bottle of wood glue which cannot be separated from human skin. If contacting the skin of two separate humans, it can be separated from either without trouble, but not both.
Date of Recovery: 2014-02-02
Location of Recovery: Parma City Hall, Parma, Ohio, USA
Current Status: Held with amputated skin from D-156998-06's thigh in a Size-II object storage locker with appropriate biohazard warnings.
Item Description: Partially dismantled external hard drive with seemingly limitless storage capacity. Originally contained 15.2 TB of pirated movies and TV shows, 78% of which being episodes of Seinfeld.
Date of Recovery: 01/01/2001
Location of Recovery: An estate sale in Trenton, New Jersey.
Current Status: Being tested at Site-15.
Item Description: One newspaper folded into a living adult male Trichonephila clavata24 approximately 25 centimeters in length. AO-1379 displays expected behavior for its species, and has attempted copulation with anomalous and nonanomalous introduced female T. clavata specimens, though no offspring have been produced. As AO-1379 does not require sustenance, care must be taken to prevent it from drinking water and thus harming its fragile body.
Date of Recovery: 2023-08-08
Location of Recovery: ████ █████ ██ fraternity house in Athens, Georgia, USA
Current Status: Held in Site-25's arachnology wing. AO-1379 has been nicknamed "Ori" by its containment staff.
Item Description: One plastic recreation of the Lament Configuration from the Hellraiser franchise. Item is antimemetically cloaked and is only perceptible to members of the BDSM fetish community.
Date of Recovery: 2008-04-13
Location of Recovery: MC&D auction advertised as "Marshall, Carter, & Dark After Dark!" in Vancouver, Canada
Current Status: Held in a Size-III object storage locker at Site-41.
Anomalous Items 1381 - 1390
Item Description: One sexualized costume resembling a schoolgirl uniform. Any female individual of east Asian descent below the age of 25 who views this outfit will begin vomiting until it is removed from their sight.
Date of Recovery: 2008-04-13
Location of Recovery: MC&D auction advertised as "Marshall, Carter, & Dark After Dark!" in Vancouver, Canada
Current Status: Held in a standard cloth storage unit at Site-60 with appropriate memetic biohazard warnings. Missing as of 2013-██-██.
Item Description: One brightly colored "furry" tail and attached buttplug. All humans viewing the wearer are able to determine with perfect accuracy whether they, the viewers, are currently happy, as long as the tail remains unobscured. Despite this property, no visible change occurs in the tail.
Date of Recovery: 2008-04-13
Location of Recovery: MC&D auction advertised as "Marshall, Carter, & Dark After Dark!" in Vancouver, Canada
Current Status: Held in a Size-IV object storage locker at Site-60.
Item Description: 3 cm x 6 cm scrap from a medieval manuscript depicting an imp with grotesquely enlarged genitals. All penile and testicular pain is dramatically amplified within a 10 meter radius, and any wounds in such areas do not heal until this radius is left.
Date of Recovery: 2008-04-13
Location of Recovery: MC&D auction advertised as "Marshall, Carter, & Dark After Dark!" in Vancouver, Canada
Current Status: Held in Site-147's Demonics Wing, Demonic Biohazard Lab S147-L302
Item Description: Metal muffin pan, of suitable size for baking 1 dozen muffins. When batter is poured into the pan and baked, paper liners suitable for muffins or cupcakes will be found when the pan is removed from the oven. If liners are inserted beforehand, no others will manifest. How this occurs is unknown. All forms of watching the pan, including remote methods, have proven inconclusive. This typically operates through coincidence, such as the person watching the camera is distracted by something at the moment the anomalous effect occurs. Testing to find out if a probabilistic anomaly causes this is awaiting approval.
Date of Recovery: April 14th, 2024
Location of Recovery: An estate sale in Springfield, MO
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A screw composed of an unknown metal alloy, floating approximately five meters above ground level. Object can be moved; however, it will continue to levitate five meters off the ground.
Date of Recovery: 03-20-2024
Location of Recovery: Moscow, Russia
Current Status: Site-330 storage.
Item Description: The shell of a Coenobita clypeatus25 that emits a faint noise of the ocean waters, occasional thunder can be heard as well. The shell is speculated to be a dimensional portal to an alternate reality or area, however further testing is deemed unfeasible as the item is small and extremely fragile.
Date of Recovery: 04-03-2024
Location of Recovery: Washed up on shore in Florida, USA.
Current Status: Site-330's storage facility.
Item Description: A black baseball cap, bearing a sewed phrase saying "Wear 4 Luck". When a subject wears the cap, around $100 of the subject's nationality will manifest in the subject's wallet, or any pocket noticeable by the subject. If the subject does not have any pockets, however, the money will manifest in the subject's internal organs or cavities.
Date of Recovery: 23-12-2023
Location of Recovery: Soekarno–Hatta International Airport, Indonesia.
Current Status: In a locker in Site-330.
Item Description A pineapple plant (Ananas comosus) which bears a different fruit or vegetable each year. So far, since its discovery, it has yet to bear any pineapples. All fruit and vegetables borne by the plant are perfectly healthy and edible.
Date of Recovery 2023-5-11
Location of Recovery Alajuela, Costa Rica.
Current Status Planted in the communal garden at Site-101.
Item Description A ceramic bowl that turns anything poured into it into apple-flavoured porridge of the Quaker brand. Testing has shown that all food, beverages and non-edible substances become the porridge, including water, soup, coffee, wine, blood and [REDACTED].
Date of Recovery 2020-6-6
Location of Recovery Croy, Inverness, Scotland.
Current Status Stored in the cafeteria of Site-114.
Item Description Three ceramic egg cups that repel eggs. All eggs and egg-like objects are repelled including plastic toy hen eggs to frogspawn.
Date of Recovery 2017-03-27
Location of Recovery Second-hand store in Brooklawn, NJ
Current Status Stored in a low security locker at Site-110.
Anomalous Items 1391 - 1400
Item Description A Praetorian Helmet that, when worn, induces the wearer to vocalize the phrase "glory to Caesar."
Date of Recovery 10/20/2010
Location of Recovery Mojave Desert, Nevada
Current Status Lost in Raid By Serpents Hand
Item Description: A hamster of an unidentified breed, grey and white in color, capable of subtle psychological manipulation when in the presence of 2 or more sentient organisms; it has been observed that it will attempt to gradually damage or break relationships between organisms that possess them, mainly humans or other hamsters. Item has displayed signs of sapience, being able to manipulate objects using its front paws with great dexterity, emoting with body language, and possessing great understanding of English and Japanese.
Date of Recovery: 06/27/2003
Location of Recovery: San Francisco, California. Object first came to Foundation attention upon repeated reports of domestic violence in the area and a "hamster looking through windows", item was found observing a family though a patio window and was captured after an hour long chase.
Current Status: Kept in an isolated portion of an animal containment unit at Site-██. Only a singular staff member is allowed to interact with the item at a time to avoid the anomalous effect.
Item Description: An adult taxidermy model of the species Canis lupus. Human subjects aged 9-16 that come into physical contact with the item will experience all of the "forty mystical dreams" that Italian Catholic priest John Melchior Bosco (Italian: Giovanni Melchiorre Bosco) had throughout his lifetime in successive order for the span of one (1) year.
Date of Recovery: 1998-06-12
Location of Recovery: In a priest's private residence in Valdocco, Turin, Italy.
Current Status: Stored inside a Type-S Object Containment Unit at Area-22.
Item Description: An indestructible obsidian rock, measuring 5.4cm x 4.3cm x 4.4cm. If a human subject holds the object in their palm and vocalizes a phrase, the item will audibly articulate the same phrase into Spanish. However, vocalizing incoherent or unintelligible expressions will not elicit any response from the object.
Date of Recovery: 2003-04-23
Location of Recovery: Discovered within a GoI-037 storage facility located in Celaya, Mexico following Foundation incursion into the building.
Current Status: Stored inside Locker-047AN at Research Site-24.
Item Description: A standard rake that, when used to rake leaves into a pile, spontaneously generates a trail of leaves in the place of the leaves that have just been raked into the pile.
Date of Recovery: 2024-05-7
Location of Recovery: Found in a pile of leaves in Toronto, Canada
Current Status: In a low security storage container almost constantly covered in a pile of leaves.
Item Description: A copy of The Noble Cat by Howard Loxton, the text of which is periodically replaced with the text of The Ultimate Dog Book by David Taylor. This occurs approximately once every fifty-five days (± 14.66 hours) and persists for precisely fifty-one minutes, at which point the text reverts. Images remain unaffected. Text is limited by the number of characters on a page (including punctuation and excluding spaces); for example, there are sixty-nine characters on the title page of The Noble Cat, which are replaced with sixty-nine characters from the half-title and title pages of The Ultimate Dog Book. Characters exceeding the given limit for a page overflow to the next, often in the middle of a word. Text of The Ultimate Dog Book repeats following conclusion of the picture credits.
Date of Recovery: 5/20/2024
Location of Recovery: Junior Researcher Lauren's home, where it and a non-anomalous copy of The Ultimate Dog Book had been serving as decoration. Junior Researcher Lauren discovered the anomaly after deciding to read both books and subsequently leaving them open on the floor; the altered text was observed several days later.
Current Status: In the Sector-25 break room.
Notes: That was my mom's. Can I at least keep it at my desk? - Jr. Researcher Lauren
Item Description: Fountain pen, no manufacturer's information visible. Consistent with styles common in the early 20th century. Can be filled with ink as normal; however, when used to write, the ink will be in the writer's favorite color. If used to write without being filled, ink of the writer's favorite color will manifest through unknown means as the pen is used.
Date of Recovery: May 22nd, 2024
Location of Recovery: Abandoned at a gas station in Providence, Rhode Island
Current Status: At Site-76, available for use by all personnel.
Item Description: A topographic paper map of the state of Nevada that is constantly changing to display an up-to-date version of every detail of the actual state's topology.
Date of Recovery: 5/26/2024
Location of Recovery: A classroom at █████ Junior High School, Nevada
Current Status: In Storage
Notes: This thing is actually really cool. I've been looking at it with a microscope all day, and I can even see peoples' footprints on the ground. - Researcher Miles Snow
Item Description: A partially opened 5 oz. aluminum can labeled "Intrusive Thoughts". Any human subject who views the can's interior will receive vivid mental images of themselves slicing one of their eyeballs with the can's lid. This effect lingers even after the item is out of view, though it subsides after 10–20 minutes. Damage to the lid suggests that an attempt had been made to reseal the item prior to recovery.
Date of Recovery: 06-03-2024
Location of Recovery: Cedar Springs, Colorado
Current Status: In an opaque storage locker within Site-31.
Item Description: A chocolate bar decorated with bubble patterns, under the brand name "Chocolotsacoco". This brand of chocolate bar, as well as its manufacturer Cometica Confections, does not exist. Bar is covered in tiny pockets, which the packaging claims are air bubbles filled with cocoa powder. Any carbonated liquid stirred with the candy bar is turned into chocolate milk through unknown means. During this transformation, all solid objects completely submerged in the liquid turn into ice. The resultant chocolate milk is perpetually carbonated, but otherwise considered non-anomalous and safe to drink. This effect extends to liquids generally deemed unsafe for human consumption. Attempting to eat the bar, however, has proven fatal, as any living creature that produces CO² will have their blood turned into chocolate milk after digestion.
Date of Recovery: May 31st, 2024
Location of Recovery: █████████ Chocolate World Gift Shop, Hershey, PA
Current Status: In low-value storage.
Anomalous Items 1401 - 1410
Item Description: Hinged wooden box, the size of most standard jewellery boxes, painted with images of ducks in flight. At random intervals (typically between 20 minutes and one hour), an unidentified female voice will be heard saying "Let me out!", "I'm trapped in here!" and similar phrases, seemingly coming from the box. If the box is opened after hearing the voice, the voice will stop speaking immediately. Nothing has been found in or on the box that could cause this, and the voice does not respond when spoken to.
Date of Recovery: May 31st, 2024
Location of Recovery: A thrift store in Eureka, California
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: Small plastic comb, visually similar to most commercially available pocket combs. Despite having clearly been mass-produced, no manufacturer's information is visible. Anyone touching the comb hears multiple voices whispering in an as-yet-unidentified language. If the subject pays too much attention to the voices or addresses them in any language, the voices stop speaking, as though aware that they were being overheard. The source of the voices has not been determined, seeming to be somewhere behind the subject.
Date of Recovery: June 1st, 2024
Location of Recovery: Abandoned at a BART station in San Francisco, California
Current Status: Being tested.
Item Description: Wooden mug decorated with a painting of a wooden sailing ship of 17th century construction under full sail. Any liquid poured into the mug will become whichever variety of alcohol the intended drinker most prefers at the moment. It is unclear how the item is aware of this information. If the item is passed to another person, the liquid contained will be transmuted.
Date of Recovery: June 3rd, 2024
Location of Recovery: At a garage sale in Kalamazoo, Michigan.
Current Status: Available for use by personnel.
Note: This item is only to be used after working hours. Drinking alcohol on duty is not permitted.
Item Description: One adult female Gallus domesticus26 of the Plymouth Rock breed. Whether an egg produced by AO-1404 is fertilized or unfertilized is immediately apparent to any human observer despite possessing no visual distinction. Sapient nonhumans are unaffected.
Date of Recovery: 2024-06-07
Location of Recovery: Private business ostensibly portrayed as an animal research lab, Springfield, Massachusetts, USA.
Current Status: Held in Poultry Enclosure 3 at Site-25.
Item Description: One Lianhua Supermarket shopping bag. All testudines27 within a 5 kilometer radius of this item are selectively intangible to all forms of plastic. Prior to containment, this ability was observed being used by local testudines for avoiding suffocation, obtaining food from sealed containers, and restraining or evading mates, rivals, and predators who had only recently entered the area and thus were unaware of how to use this ability.
Date of Recovery: 2015-09-07
Location of Recovery: Drain pipe in ████████ ████ Subdistrict, Pudong, Shanghai, China
Current Status: Held in a Size-III object storage locker in Site-109-D's Biohazard Exclusion Wing.
Item Description: A floret of brassica oleracea28 with the stem painted brown. Any observer, sapient or not, that sees this floret in the presence of a tree believes that the floret is, in fact, a tree, and behaves accordingly. This memetic effect ends only if the exposed specimen does not see a tree for approximately 24 hours, though it ends early if the specimen becomes aware that the floret isn't a tree (for example, someone taking a bite out of it). Nothing has caused the memetic properties to dissipate; removing the paint, eating parts of the floret, and even the floret rotting haven't stopped specimens from identifying it as a tree in the presence of another tree, even when the rotten bits were arranged into the shape of an entirely different object. After the pieces were mistakenly taken from Dr. Frisk's office to the incinerator and destroyed, the memetic properties transferred to the site incinerator.
Date of Recovery: April 8th, 2023
Location of Recovery: ██████ Elementary School, Rising Sun, MD, United States
Current Status: Incinerator deemed safe for use by approved personnel for non-organic matter only, as even tree branches and leaves trigger the memetic effect. Individual responsible for the original object's destruction was disciplined.
Item Description: An oil painting in the baroque style, depicting several armed individuals reminiscent of the civic guard in Rembrandt's The Night Watch. Any crimes29 committed in the presence of the painting are anonymously reported to the Albany Police Department within a week of occurrence. All attempts to trace the anonymous reportee have thus far failed.
Date of Recovery: 2024-04-02
Location of Recovery: A warehouse in Albany, New York
Current Status: In storage at Site-19. The canvas has been covered in black masking tape.
Item Decryption: An audio recoding of "Tourniquet of Roses" by the Residents,30 which contains six attritional verses not present in the original song.31 Any human subject who listens to these extra verses becomes increasingly prone to the use of malapropisms32 in speech and writing, with the frequency ingressing upon repeated exposure. Transcripts of the song's lyrics remain unaffected, however. This affect typically subsets after one week, though rare exceptions have been discovered through expensive tasting.
Date of Recovery: 06-13-2024
Lactation of Recovery: Uploaded to YouTube under the title "The Residents - Tourniquet of Roses (EXTENDED CUT)". Uploader was identified as █████ ███████, a resident of Cedar Springs, Colorado who discovered the song on a CD he had purchased at a flea market and was unaware of its anonymous properties.
Currant Status: Stored on a flesh drive at Site-27.
Item Description: A 30th Anniversary Edition Blu-Ray of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Viewing Being in a 500m proximity of the item while it is being played induces the production of adrenaline, cortisol, and other stress hormones in human subjects, causing individuals in the area of effect to enter a heightened emotional state. Physical altercations are common when the anomaly is active; however, the film must be played on its original medium, and playing the raw file which contains the data for The Wrath of Khan after its extraction produces no anomalous effects.
Date of Recovery: 6/19/2024
Location of Recovery: Port Huron, Michigan, at the first (and last) annual "Wrath of Con", a Star Trek fandom convention.
Current Status: Under consideration for use in a study on the prolonged effects of adrenaline and cortisol exposure on D-Class personnel.
Item Description: A 12 oz. can of salted peanuts with a nondescript white label reading "pee nuts". Human subjects who consume the can's contents initially report no anomalous effects; however, approximately two weeks after consumption, subjects begin to report a number of symptoms, including severe abdominal pain, nausea, and blood in their urine. These symptoms continue to increase in severity over the next several days, culminating in the passage of a whole, unshelled peanut through the subject's urethra. This process has been described as excruciatingly painful, with many subjects losing consciousness as a result. However, actual physical damage is minimal, being consistent with kidney stones of average size. Resulting peanuts do not share AO-1410's anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: 06-19-2024
Location of Recovery: Recovered at a King Soopers in Cedar Springs, Colorado by Agent Clement, who suspected that the item was anomalous in nature due to its unusual appearance and placement within the store.
Current Status: In a low-value item storage locker within Site-343.
Anomalous Items 1411 - 1420
Item Description: One (1) bag of sunflower seeds that, if a seed is peeled, will contain another identically sized unpeeled sunflower seed within it.
Date of Recovery: 05-06-2024
Location of Recovery: A supermarket near Site-75.
Current Status: Kept in the Site-75 break room.
Notes: How do you even eat these? It's just shells all the way down.
Item Description: A Shure 55SH dynamic microphone that when handled compels the user to introduce any individual with a 5m radius. Introductions always follow the format that is utilized by ring announcers33. AO-1412's properties do not manifest if there are less than two people within said radius. Stage names given while under the influence of AO-1412 are always based on the user's opinion of the person being introduced.
Date of Recovery: 05/23/1998
Location of Recovery: A storage closet at the Indiana Theatre, Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Current Status: Labelled and kept within the Site-81 break room gymnasium for recreational use.
Notes: Item relocated; personnel are to refrain from interacting with the item when there are more than 20 people within the 5m radius. Agent Essie nearly tore his throat out introducing all 254 personnel attending the New Year's Eve celebration - Dr. Cox
Item Description: Sterling silver and glass compass, similar in manufacture to those made in the early 19th century. The needle does not point toward magnetic north, instead pointing toward the nearest source of horseradish (currently the Site cafeteria).
Date of Recovery: August 1st, 2024
Location of Recovery: In a lost and found box at a bus station, Columbus, OH
Current Status: In storage in Site-██.
Item Description: A 19-year-old man whose face cannot be captured photographically. All attempts to do so result in the digital or physical corruption of the image. A secondary anomaly garbles the subject's voice in all recordings.
Date of Recovery: 2017-09-15
Location of Recovery: LaGuardia Airport, New York
Current Status: Held in humanoid containment at Site-17.
Item Description: A three-hour-long video depicting an unidentified human male wearing a ski mask, who spends the duration of the video subjecting a Windows 10 laptop to various forms of abuse, including removing the keys from the keyboard, hitting the screen with a hammer, and downloading malware from file-sharing websites. During this time, equivalent damage is inflicted on the device that the video is being broadcast from, which continues until the device becomes unusable. To date, all attempts at viewing the contents of the video beyond the 1:53:03 mark have proven unsuccessful, and have invariably resulted in significant mechanical failure.
Date of Recovery: 07-29-2024
Location of Recovery: Uploaded to YouTube under the title "Gently Breaking Your Computer ASMR 😏💥💻" by the channel "Glitch City ASMR" in February 2020. The uploader has not yet been identified.
Current Status: Video and channel removed from YouTube under the guise of a copyright violation; further action has been deemed unnecessary due to the video having less than 500 views at the time of its deletion. An archived copy of the video is stored in Site-10's digital archives.
Item Description: An oil painting depicting a camel standing in a desert. When the painting is viewed by a human subject, they will automatically believe that the current day is a Wednesday regardless of what the actual day of the week is. The effect ceases when the subject is shown proof of what the actual day of the week is.
Date of Recovery: 06-30-2024
Location of Recovery: A thrift shop located in Columbia, South Carolina.
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A BluRay of Věra Chytilová’s 1966 film Daisies, physically resembling the non-anomalous edition as distributed by The Criterion Collection.34 Has a mild “feminising” effect when viewed in its entirety by an individual assigned male at birth, increasing the estrogen levels in the subject’s body.35
Date of Recovery: 04-27-2019
Location of Recovery: Seized during a raid on ███████, a British Columbia, Canada-based eBay seller found to be selling home videos of numerous anomalous films, as well as anomalous copies of non-anomalous films
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A printed world map whose marked borders change in real time to display the current de facto territorial control of the world.
Date of Recovery: 10-20-2015
Location of Recovery: A charity shop in Essex, United Kingdom
Current Status: In storage.
Note: Beginning on ██-██-20██, the map began displaying Bir Tawil, an officially unclaimed and uninhabited area of land along the Egyptian-Sudanese border, as belonging to “The Tongue Eaters”. More recently, this area has been observed to grow in size, and now encompasses significant portions of land publicly believed to be under the control of either Egypt or Sudan. Research into the implications of this is ongoing.
Item Description: A music box that continuously plays an unidentified tune 'Yesterday' by The Beatles without any source of propulsion. It can be stopped by holding the musical cylinder still with hand, but resumes immediately upon release.
Date of Recovery: 01-21-1964
Location of Recovery: Room 102, George V Hotel, Paris, France
Current Status: In storage at Site-██ Transferred to Site-██, in possession of Dr. Foster.
Notes: Agent ██████ has been reprimanded for using expired Class-A amnestics, as his mistake caused the tune to be published as one of their most iconic songs the following year. Please check the expiration date on your amnestics.
Item Description: A .png file uploaded to the anomalous Gamers Against Weed forums titled "how to ABSOLUTLY DESTROY the scp f oundation [sic]". File has been reposted 1762 separate times. Foundation agents embedded within the forum managed to download the file, however its quality has significantly degraded, being 345 separate pixels in total. Foundation AI Malapost.aic has determined that quality restoration from such few pixels is impossible. Showing the file to Foundation employees causes minor distress.
Date of Recovery: 03-12-2014
Location of Recovery: Gamers Against Weed forum chat room "foundtion 🤮"
Current Status: Located within the directory SCP:\Users\Foundation\Groups of Interest\Gamers Against Weed\Images\Cognitohazardous\Non-Lethal\Mild\how to ABSOLUTLY DESTROY the scp f oundation.png
Anomalous Items 1421 - 1430
Item Description: A medium-sized, standard white blender of an unidentified brand capable of functioning without any external power source. Upon visual contact with the object, individuals experience an overwhelming compulsion to insert their hand into the blender and activate it.
Date of Recovery: 16/08/2024
Location of Recovery: Dr. Arya Roy's office, Site-██.
Current Status: In Storage.
Notes: "That blender was the only useful thing my mom gifted me." –Dr. Arya Roy.
Item Description: Approximately 22.9 liters of a water-like material, which shifts between solid and liquid state once every 28 seconds, without any change in temperature. Any solid it touches while changing from solid state to liquid state will liquefy with it, and likewise, any liquid it touches while changing from liquid state to solid state will solidify with it. These changes move quickly through tightly-packed solids, substances and liquids, but slowly though loosely packed materials like dirt and snow. Non-anomalous water acts as an extension of its abilities, anything touching a body of water containing the water-like material changes with it.
Date of Recovery: 16/08/2024
Location of Recovery: ██° ██′ █″ N, ██° ██′ █″ W, Nunavut
Current Status: Provisionally Neutralized.
Notes: While transmuting surrounding soil and rock into glass served as a temporary containment method, due to glass's amorphous state, the item would eventually dissolve it in several hours. Due to being launched into the sun with SCP-████-█, it can no longer cause any further damage. It is being monitored for any further activity, but is believed to have been destroyed or rendered ineffective due to being immersed in plasma indefinitely.
Item Description: A copy of the CD single for "Kiss Me Thru The Phone" by Soulja Boy. Audio is consistent with other official recordings of the song, except the phone number mentioned in the prechorus is replaced with the personal number of the person who decided to play the song. If the person does not have a cell or home phone number, the song plays as normal.
Date of Recovery: 17/09/2010
Location of Recovery: ████████ Records warehouse in Fayal, Minnesota.
Current Status: In a storage locker at Site-55.
Notes: What happens if you have more than one cell phone?
Item Description: Mid-20th century painting, in realistic style, depicting an unknown woman with blonde hair, wearing a blue dress consistent with styles popular in the 1960s, shown standing in a field of grass with a large wooden box to her left. The painted figure remains stationary while observed by a human subject, but is often found in different positions after being left unobserved, even briefly. The wooden box is filled with objects, which are also found to change or become absent from the painting entirely.
Date of Recovery: 9/9/2022
Location of Recovery: An art gallery in Rochester, NY
Current Status: In storage. Being evaluated for SCP classification after objects missing from the Site were found depicted in the painting; under 24-hour video surveillance.
Note: Methods for recovering the items found in the painting are being discussed, including use of other anomalous items or SCP-level objects, but nothing has been approved yet. - Researcher Wyndham
Item Description: A 64GB SanDisk USB 2.0 flash drive. Upon removing the “case”, a microscopically scaled set of anomalously functioning and connected internal human organs (with the exception of the brain or bones) are revealed in place of expected technology, encased by a translucent thin sheath identified as a cell membrane that connects to the USB port. DNA testing has concluded the organs belong to ███ ████ Roy, a former IT teacher who went missing on 01/15/2020 in the Everglades National Park. The flash drive otherwise functions as expected.
Date of Recovery: 01/17/2020
Location of Recovery: The home of ████ ███ Walker, in Anchorage, Alaska, who uploaded a video on the platform YouTube titled “😱LIVING USB AT BEST BUY????😱”, garnering only 102 views before deletion. Exclusively contained a .txt file with the full legal name, birth date, and date of disappearance of Mr. Roy on recovery. Mr. Walker has been given a standard dosage of Class-A Amnestics and placed under temporary surveillance.
Current Status: In storage at Site-18.
Item description: An unsolved 1x1x1 Rubik’s Cube.
Date of recovery: 2022-01-12
Location of recovery: Garage sale in Paris, Texas
Current status: Stored with Dr. McDoctorate's Rubik’s Cube collection in his office Object was neutralized after Dr. Draws removed all of the stickers and placed them back on the cube in a solved state.
Item Description: A pink plastic mustache. Individuals who hold the item to their upper lip will be compelled to speak in a different accent. Accents used appear to be random but specific to the individual.
Date of Recovery: 2024-10-13
Location of Recovery: The home of M███ E█████ F████████, Los Angeles, California, United States of America. Subject questioned, amnestized upon failure to extract relevant information, and placed under minor surveillance.
Current Status: In storage at Site-17.
Item Description: A 250g box of Arnott's Salada Original Crispbreads. Individuals who pick up the item will see the words 'OPEN AT OTHER END' on whichever end of the item they first observe.
Date of Recovery: 2024-10-17
Location of Recovery: A Coles supermarket located in Melbourne, Australia.
Current Status: In storage at Site-45.
Item Description: A 5 cm × 15 cm white vellum bookmark labeled "Property of Casper Agency", thought to be indestructible. If pressed between two objects, such as the pages of a book, this bookmark ceases to experience friction until removed, or more commonly, it slides out from between the two objects. Testing suspended after Incident AI-1461-a, where the bookmark was placed in a hydraulic press to determine how effective its friction-countering capabilities were. After the press reached approximately 5,000 kg of force, the bookmark shot out violently from between the press's plates at approximately ██ m/s, breaking through the observation window, killing Junior Researcher Haslo, and injuring 5 other personnel. It's unknown how the item distinguishes objects as "different", which has caused varying results during testing.
Date of Recovery: 10-29-2024
Location of Recovery: Barnes and Noble Book Store, Baltimore, Maryland, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage at Site-322 Permanently embedded in an observation room wall in Site-322. Despite its anomalous properties, it's theorized that the bookmark is experiencing normal friction because the wall is only one object, and not two. Returned to low-value storage after a sticker was applied to the object.
Item Description: A scrap of paper torn from a larger document, with the phrase "Have you signed the oath?" printed on it in purple ink. Written over the previous contents of the other side is the phrase "I sign this oath to thee" written in blood. Anyone in a formal marital relationship that views this side of the document is subjected to the item's cognitohazardous properties, as follows. Immediately upon exposure, the affected person(s) will seek to renew their wedding vows, or make such vows if none have been made yet, in writing. They will be compelled to write said vows in their own blood by any means necessary, and will then present them to their significant other(s). Whether they accept or decline the gesture, the effect ends. This effect can also be ended early if the relationship, formally or informally, is brought to an end, or if an affected viewer is amnesticized. Additionally, anyone not in a formal relationship is entirely unaffected, even if the relationship is permanent.
Date of Recovery: 10-31-2024
Location of Recovery: Found in a trash can at a gas station in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage at Site-322. When not being tested, the item is kept in a pouch with a completely opaque back, with the front facing the transparent side. Upon accidental exposure, viewers that are in a formal relationship are to be administered Class A amnestics.
Anomalous Items 1431 - 1440
Item Description: Three clay figurines depicting a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, a Basset Hound, and a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel that will animate and march in a circle five times at 12:00 Pacific Standard Time. If removed from one another, the objects will teleport to a random location in the space separating them.
Date of Recovery: 05-12-2023
Location of Recovery: Museum in ██████, New Jersey
Current Status: Held in a storage locker at Site-77.
Item Description: A standard jar of ██████ brand peanut butter that is presumably infinite on the inside, being completely partially filled with peanut butter. The peanut butter seems not to have any anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: 07-11-2024
Location of Recovery: Supermarket in █████████, Illinois, United States of America
Current Status: Held in staff break room storage locker at Site-81 after the peanut butter was too far away to reach.
Item Description: Relearn With █████ (domain name relearnwith█████.awcy), an educational website that covers many topics. The topics and complexity vary wildly, from basic math and the alphabet to doctorate level science, and even some rather strange topics like anomalous art, getting away with felonies, and basic functions like how to breathe. Anyone that attempts to use any of the learning programs in a subject they understand will have their capabilities in that subject matter diminished. These decreases in knowledge occur instantaneously, dropping understanding to a level expected from someone that was learning the subject matter for the first time.
Date of Recovery: 11-11-2024
Location of Recovery: Washington D.C., United States
Current Status: Website intercepted and deleted before it could be hosted. Uploader has been successfully apprehended. Local copy of the website is stored on a flash drive held in low-value storage at Site-19.
Note: "Testing with the "Basic Functions of the Human Body" module has been suspended until further notice. It's rare we get an item in this department that wipes out five D-Classes in five unique ways, and as curious as I am, it's not worth using up the department's limited allowance for D-Class personnel." –Dr. Frisk
Item Description: A counterfeit money detecting pen which transmutes counterfeit bills it writes on into an unknown acidic substance the stomach acid of a Crocuta crocuta36.
Date of Recovery: 11-15-2024
Location of Recovery: Local grocery store in ███████, Wisconsin
Current Status: In storage at Site-73.
Item Description: A copy of Homer's Odyssey. When opened to the first page, the reader holding the book will suddenly report a strong smell of seawater.
Date of Recovery: 11-16-2024
Location of Recovery: Barnes and Noble in Chicago, United States
Current Status: In low-risk storage at Site-76.
Item Description: A rubber eraser capable of erasing graphite lead, all varieties of ink tested thus far, blood, and presumably any other form of writing substance without residue.
Date of Recovery: 11-26-24
Location of Recovery: ██████ Elementary School
Current Status: In use, currently kept in the office of Dr. ██████
Note: Have we tried to see if it can erase digital or chiseled writings?— Junior Research Kelp
Item Description: A small H████ brand ketchup packet filled with water. The branding is covered with clear tape, with "merecool whatr" written on it with permanent marker. Opening the packet and pouring out the contents causes the water to turn into coinage worth approximately 1 US cent, in whatever currency the local area uses. Stepping on the packet or pouring the contents into one's mouth causes the water to immediately boil into steam measuring approximately ████⁰C. No matter how the packet is opened, it reseals itself and refills with water when not observed.
Date of Recovery: 12-9-2024
Location of Recovery: Found in a restroom at the New York Stock Exchange, Manhattan, NY, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage Kept in a secured safe in Dr. Frisk's office. Item may not be removed from the safe except for tests approved by all individuals overseeing Anomalous Items testing at Site-19.
Note: "Please, for the love of whatever power you look up to, stop taking the packet out of containment to get change for the vending machine. I have only so much kindness left for you people." - Dr. Frisk
Item Description: A Logitech ██████ wireless keyboard Two Logitech ██████ wireless keyboards. When connected to a computer, anything the user writes is deleted in approximately 48 hours by yet to be discovered means. Even if the content written is write-protected, it will still disappear. Deletions made by them, however, still seem to work as expected.
Date of Recovery: 12-18-2024
Location of Recovery: Site-19 IT Department; second instance was discovered in Dr. Almsys's office
Current Status: Held inside a Faraday cage in low-value storage.
Note: Following the loss of data on multiple items in Foundation custody, further investigation is being considered.
Item Description: Eighty-two (82) Seventy-nine (79) vials filled with a pulp composed entirely of ground solenopsis geminata37 eyeballs. Anyone that views the vials while starving is subject to their memetic effects, grabbing one and seeking a public area before consuming the vial whole. The contents do not seem to spoil like they should, but otherwise possess properties normal for their source of origin.
Date of Recovery: 12-18-2024
Location of Recovery: Abandoned chemical laboratory inside of █████████ College, Elkton, MD, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage, managed by the Antimemetics Division.
Item Description: A manila folder containing purported coroner photographs and autopsy reports that always pertain to the given possessor of the item. Although not entirely precise, the item's photograph and autopsy projections correlated with 80-85% of fatalities among those who have accessed it. Whether or not the item is a direct cause of the casualties in correlation with the projected contents remains debatable.
Date of Recovery: 23/12/2011
Location of Recovery: Atlanta, GA, USA
Current Status: Incinerated.
Notice: Destroying anomalous items without appropriate permission is a major violation of Foundation policy. See that this does not occur again. - Site Director █████ █████.
Anomalous Items 1441 - 1450
Item Description: A single die which, aside from being linguistically undescribable with regards to its shape, size, color, and number of faces, is entirely unremarkable.
Date of Recovery: ██/07/201█
Location of Recovery: ██████████ County High School, USA.
Current Status: In locker of Researcher Shion Y██, used in demonstrations for new recruits to the Department of Miscommunications.
Note: The color is believed by most to be a shade of red. - Researcher Shion Y██.
Item Description: Small blue rubber "bouncy ball", visually identical to many commercially available varieties. The item seems far more unremarkable than would be expected, regularly going unnoticed in groups of similar items unless a subject's attention is purposely drawn to it. More rarely, it can go unnoticed even when by itself, again unless attention is purposely drawn to it.
Date of Recovery: December 13, 2024
Location of Recovery: Lost and found box at a daycare in Dayton, OH
Current Status: In low-value item storage. Being tested for antimemetic properties.
Item Description: A standard size horseshoe plated in 24 karat gold. Otherwise visually unremarkable. When thrown, the trajectory automatically arcs towards the nearest pole-like object.
Date of Recovery: 2019-02-11
Location of Recovery: S███████ Self Storage, North East, Maryland, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage. Testing suspended after several injuries involving male test subjects.
Item Description: A resignation letter for no company in particular, held within an envelope. The contents of the letter are heavily heated and written in dog feces, citing an unwavering hatred for the reader. If an individual reads the letter, in its entirety, the writing transforms to match their handwriting, and the letter becomes signed with their name. It then disappears, and once the envelope is closed, a new copy of the letter appears within. The signed version of the letter automatically appears in the presence of the reader's manager or an employee the individual deeply hates. If the reader is unemployed, the signed letter simply ceases to exist.
Date of Recovery: 2024-12-05
Location of Recovery: A█████ Warehouse, Salt Lake City, Utah, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage Neutralized after Junior Researcher Lannery sealed the envelope using its gum seal. Junior Researcher Lannery is currently on occupational probation following this incident.
Item Description: Small 1,000cm³ cardboard box. Bottom is taped shut with F███ T███. Opening the top of the box will cause it to fold into a 50cm³ sphere composed of pure glass. Sudden impacts to the sphere cause it to invert back into a cardboard box. Items inside the box when it is made a sphere vanish without a trace.
Date of Recovery: 2021-12-31
Location of Recovery: Boxing Day Festival, Montreal, Canada
Current Status: In low-value storage.
Item Description [Archived]: A small piece of yellow color paper with the name "OLIVIA" stenciled on, glued to a piece of cardstock, glued to Researcher Timothy Green's Foundation-Issued Identification Card lanyard. The lanyard has withstood all attempts of separating it from the piece of paper, and the piece of paper has become completely indestructible.
Date of Recovery: August 29, 2019
Location of Recovery: Site-27, [REDACTED]
Current Status: Researcher Green has been allowed to keep his lanyard, and has been offered a new one, but declined the offer. See Current Status of AO-1467.
Item Description [Archived]: A small piece of lime green color paper with the name "TIM" stenciled on, glued to a piece of cardstock, glued to Junior Researcher Olivia Sinclair's Foundation-Issued Identification Card lanyard. The lanyard has withstood all attempts of separating it from the piece of paper, and the piece of paper has become completely indestructible.
Date of Recovery: August 29, 2019
Location of Recovery: Site-27, [REDACTED]
Current Status: Following a "breakup" between Junior Researcher Sinclair and Researcher Green, both AO-1466 and AO-1467's anomalous properties have ceased. Both Anomalous Objects' logs are to be considered Archived.
Item Description: A standard test paper which changes its content every 24 hours. Content varies from Kindergarten to College-level examinations in subjects including, but not limited to: English, Mathematics, Science, and History. When physical contact is made by a non-anomalous human being, they will immediately gain the intelligence level of an average person of the age level that the examination is created for. When said individual completes the examination, they will retain the intelligence level that the Item gave them, but with an extreme mastery of the subject matter of the test paper, even in matters not included in the age level that the examination was designed for. This effect typically dissipates during REM-stage sleep after 24 hours of initial exposure.
Date of Recovery: October 17, 1996
Location of Recovery: ██████ State University, Philippines.
Current Status: In a zipper storage bag designed to easily show accidental punctures made to it. Contained within a Low-value Item Containment Locker, Site-27. Personnel are advised to wear gloves while handling. Testing requests must be approved by Anomalous Item Containment Office head of Site-27, Containment Specialist Dr. Ivan Masula.
Item Description: A standard ██████-brand toaster, physically unremarkable. When connected to a power source and a yeast-based food is inserted into the object, the food gets replaced with another yeast-based food.
Date of Recovery: November 21, 2012
Location of Recovery: An apartment building [DETAILS REDACTED]
Current Status: In the house of Dr. ████.
Item Description: White plastic kitchen funnel with a handle, no manufacturer's information visible. Any liquid passing through the funnel from top to bottom changes color without any other properties being changed (flavor, viscosity, etc). The change appears random, and it is currently unknown how this occurs. Testing has revealed that the change is effectively instantaneous.
Date of Recovery: January 18th, 2025
Location of Recovery: An estate sale in Clarksburg, WV.
Current Status: In low-value item storage.
Anomalous Items 1451 - 1460
Item Description: A male specimen of Felis catus38 which passively breaks down lactase enzymes in substances within its line of sight. Prior to containment, the specimen was known to have a preference for dairy foods (particularly cheese) and would regularly steal from unattended plates. Further testing has indicated that the specimen is otherwise lactose intolerant.
Date of Recovery: February 5th, 2008
Location of Recovery: An animal shelter in Cardiff Wales, UK.
Current Status: In a cat-friendly containment cell at Site-44.
Note: I love this little guy, I’m going to name him Cheddar. - Researcher █████
Item Description: A standard 5 milliwatt office-grade laser pointer. If pointed at a surface other than the human eye, it will function as expected. If pointed at the human eye, the beam will appear to have a strength of ██ Megawatts, which causes instant blinding to any individual in which the laser pointer is pointed to.
Date of Recovery: February 2, 2025
Location of Recovery: ████████ Office Supplies, Philippines
Current Status: In low-value item storage.
Item Description: A logical statement which, when evaluated, is simultaneously true and false. Paramathematicians have determined that the statement is non-contradictory.
Date of Recovery: [REDACTED]
Location of Recovery: Discovered by Dr. R. Schultz as part of their PhD thesis.
Current Status: A print copy is kept in the anomalous document wing of Site-19, and a digital copy is available to Level-2 researchers via SCiPNET.
Item Description: A blue binder sketchpad, visually unremarkable. When any human or humanoid entity is drawn within its pages, regardless of the subject's ability to conceive, the drawing is modified by unknown means to make the subject drawn appear to be in the third trimester of pregnancy. Effect does not manifest if subject is already drawn undergoing pregnancy.
Date of Recovery: February 9, 2025
Location of Recovery: ██████ Art Supplies Store, Philippines.
Current Status: In low-value item storage.
Item Description: A video whose contents had been entirely replaced mid-viewing with an advertisement for the home improvement store chain Home Depot. While the contents of the ad itself are identical to the contents of a non-anomalous ad posted a day prior, anyone who watches this video in particular is compelled to acquire a Home Depot brand bucket. Once such a bucket is acquired, that individual will no longer operate a vehicle without putting their head inside such a bucket and wearing it like a hat. Despite the fact that they cannot see through the bucket, however, they drive with a comparable skill level to a professional stunt driver, and are fully aware of their surroundings while operating a vehicle. The only way to neutralize these effects is to put the affected individual's head inside of a Lowe's brand bucket, ending the anomalous effects.
Date of Recovery: February 8th, 2025
Location of Recovery: YouTube.com; uploaded with the title "How 2 DRift a Train MULTITARACK DIRIFITNG" (sic)
Current Status: Source video deleted from YouTube. A copy is held on a flash drive in low-value storage.
Item Description: A series of five signature model guitars based on musicians Synyster Gates, Angus Young, Kurt Cobain, James Hetfield, and Frank Iero. When used the player will play the instruments perfectly regardless of previous experience with playing guitar. Additionally the only songs that will be played are by the musicians' respective bands (that being Avenged Sevenfold, AC/DC, Nirvana, Metallica, and My Chemical Romance). When music not by a guitar's respective band is played no audible noise will come from it. Disassembly of the guitars show no anomalous internal modification. Replacement of components does not nullify the anomalous effects. The back of each guitar's headstock features a number between one and five followed by “out of 15”.
Date of Recovery: 11/10/2024
Location of Recovery: An abandoned instrument store outside Boston, Massachusetts.
Current Status: Four of the guitars were distributed to different sites to be used for recreational purposes in personnel break rooms. The Synyster Gates one is in the possession of Jr. Researcher Bard who requested to keep it in his personal quarters. Research into the implied ten missing guitars is ongoing.
Note: While the effect does not transfer between the guitars and non-anomalous guitars, playing the Synyster Gates guitar has helped me get better at playing A7X songs on my normal guitars. So that rules. - Jr. Researcher Bard
Item Description: A standard █████ brand pen. The pen functions like any standard pen and can be refilled. Its anomalous properties manifest whenever someone tries to describe its current status, causing said person to describe its current geographic location. This effect manifests both in written documents and via verbal communication. The geographic location cannot be redacted in writing by any means.
Date of Recovery: 17-09-2018
Location of Recovery: ████ Elementary School, ███████, Poland
Current Status: Contained in a standard low security locker located 43°35'14"N 104°31'56"W. Item is located far away from Foundation sites due to safety concerns. Item is monitored through use of its anomalous effect once a week.
Notes: Request for use by MTF to track down GOI's is currently pending.
Item Description: A Sony branded Discman portable CD player. When a disc featuring music is played while the listener is wearing headphones they will believe they are the singer of the song and will speak in the voice and cadence of the song's original singer. This effect will wear off six hours after the listener has stopped using the device and does not occur at all when the device is plugged into any speakers other than headphones. The anomaly only occurs when music is played on the device as audiobooks or non music media do not trigger the anomalous effects. Individuals affected by the anomaly may exhibit knowledge about the singer's personal life that is either obscure or completely unknown to the public. Information retrieved from this has been found to be either correct or unconfirmable.
Date of Recovery: 1/10/2021
Location of Recovery: Apartment in London, England.
Current Status: In storage
Note: The original owner claimed to have found it on the side of the road and was using it to make money impersonating various dead musicians.
Item Description: A wheeled recycling bin with a blue lid issued by the city of Remscheid, Germany. Upon closure of the lid, the bin always generates documents taken from the recycle bin file directory of any computer within a radius of 800 meters from its location.
Date of Recovery: 4-2-2025
Location of Recovery: Remscheid, Germany.
Current Status: In storage. The lid is stored separately to prevent data leakage.
Note: Item is still under study for potential use by Foundation Field agents.
Item Description: An artificial pacemaker that causes painful heart fibrillation whenever its implantee makes a charitable donation or volunteers their time towards a charitable event or benefit. Otherwise functions normally.
Date of Recovery: 01/14/2008
Location of Recovery Buffalo, New York
Current Status: Held in a storage locker at Site-██
Anomalous Items 1461 - 1470
Item Description: A Hamilton Beach bread maker. Only capable of producing cat-shaped bread. While the bread maker is seemingly normal, any bread produced by this machine carries a memetic property. This property manifests in the belief that the loaf of bread looks like a cat "loafing"39, and viewers will be inclined to take pictures of it and share it with close friends.
Date of Recovery: February 28th, 2025
Location of Recovery: Elkton, Maryland, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage.
Item Description: A vehicle license plate issued by the Republic of Italy, bearing the combination ███████. The combination has been deemed anomalous, as any media portraying the license plates with its Italian format (two blue bands on each side) and affixed onto a vehicle causes any speed trap to activate. The recorded speed will always be 7 km more than the speed allowed by the trap, no matter the actual speed registered by other instruments. Effects do not happen if the combination is written in any other format or issued by other countries.
Date of Recovery: 26-04-2022
Location of Recovery: Dr. Arman's vehicle, parked in Site-446
Current Status: Held in low-value storage
Notes: "Unbelievable that such a combination has been issued to my car of all the cars in the world. And I had to get new plates without Foundation reimbursement because of this discovery." - Dr. Arman
Item Description: A pile of pancakes on a plate. People observing the pancake pile will claim that it is so beautiful that "It would be a crime to eat it". Attempts at trying to eat a pancake have resulted in complete failure. The pancakes do not seem to rot or get moldy, and always appear fresh.
Date of Recovery: 09-03-2025
Location of Recovery: Orlando, FL.
Current Status: At Site-446's cafeteria as a decorative element.
Item Description: A reverb guitar pedal that when used will force the user to look down at it at all times. Effect ceases when the pedal is deactivated by either the user or someone else.
Date of Recovery: 25-02-2025
Location of Recovery: A defunct underground music venue in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Current Status: In storage at Site-19.
Item Description: A copy of the novel Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by American journalist Hunter S. Thompson. When read the subject will experience the effects of the drugs taken by the novels protagonist Raoul Duke. The drug in question is dependent on the page and scene of the book the subject is on. The effect on the subject will cease at either the conclusion of the chapter or two hours later if the subject stops reading while the effect is active.
Date of Recovery: 03/19/2025
Location of Recovery: Bookstore in Woody Creek, Colorado.
Current Status: In storage at Site-45.
Note: Woody Creek, Colorado was the hometown of Hunter S. Thompson. No other significant connection between the location and the object is known at this time.
Item Description: One (1) severed, blackened hand, in a set condition appearing similar to charcoal. Its thumb has been detached and is missing. Skeletal analysis has determined bone age of four hundred seventy-six (476) years, yet decomposition has entirely halted within the subject. The hand was brought in for testing on seven (7) occasions. During each of which, the subject was eventually found missing, and reappeared back at the discovery site the following sunrise.
Date of Recovery: 06/03/2025
Location of Recovery: Durant, Oklahoma, United States
Current Status: Durant, Oklahoma, United States
Note: Due to the lack of information or interest in the object, and its anomalous properties of returning to this location, subject was buried where it was discovered.
Item Description: A red 1970 Chevrolet Caprice. Inside its trunk is a suitcase of miscellaneous drugs and alcohol. Whenever someone drives the vehicle they will be compelled to take the drugs and drive to Las Vegas, Nevada. Attempting to remove the items in the trunk without using them will cause the items to disappear within two (2) hours and reappear in the trunk. Turning on the radio will play several songs from the late 1960s and early 1970s despite the radio lacking a signal receiver or similar system. Anomalous effect of compelling the driver to take drugs and go to Las Vegas ceases while the vehicle is inside the aforementioned city.
Date of Recovery: 05/22/1998
Location of Recovery: An auto body repair shop in Barstow, California.
Current Status: Inside the Site-45 parking garage. Staff may request to drive the vehicle for the purpose of running errands for the Site. Following the discovery of the drugs reappearing in the trunk of the car, use of the vehicle by staff is no longer permitted. The trunk is also to be kept locked at all times.
Note: At an unknown point in time the song Bat Country by Avenged Sevenfold was added to the rotation of songs played on the cars radio. It is the only song not from the late 1960s or early 1970s to play on the cars radio.
Item Description: A 5ft tall plastic skeleton decoration (can be disassembled) that occasionally lets out a quiet laughing sound, similar to the cartoon character "Skeletor" from the "He-Man" show (still active when disassembled).
Date of Recovery: 05/28/2010
Location of Recovery: A Spirit Halloween in Yorktown, Virginia.
Current Status: Kept disassembled in an anomaly storage locker at Site-76.
Note: Brought out of containment and reassembled around Halloween and kept in the breakroom of Site-76 until the end of October, at which point the anomaly is promptly disassembled and put back into containment.
Item Description: Resembles boots of armor from the medieval period. These boots smell strongly of fresh bread. When worn by a person, they gain the immense urge to dropkick someone, even if they don't know how or have the strength to do so. Upon successfully dropkicking someone with the boots on, the dropkicked individual takes immense amounts of physical trauma and force, with people being torn in half at the minimum.
Date of Recovery: 9/19/2000
Location of Recovery: New York, Massachusetts. Found inside a persons apartment. The person was reported missing and upon a welfare check these were found.
Current Status: Locked up in anomalous storage at Site-96
Note: Why bread? Please, I've run so many tests. All of them. Why do they smell like bread? - Dr. Merry
Item Description: A gum wrapper of indeterminate origin and age with the phrase "War never changes" written in all capital letters in what appears to be blue ink on the paper. Individuals who touch the wrapper with their bare skin report hearing distant sounds of violence and gunfire. These sounds increase in volume the longer contact is made with the wrapper, but never become overwhelming.
Date of Recovery: 10/19/2010
Location of Recovery: A psychiatric ward located in Yonkers, New York.
Current Status: Held in an anomalous object storage locker in Site-333.
Anomalous Items 1471 - 1480
Item Description: A living mass taking the form of an abandoned building, formerly a thrift store. It has been painted light blue with magenta frames and doors and yellow panels over the windows, and has a road sign saying "JUICE" that lights up from 12:00-13:00 precisely. During this time, if someone knocks on the largest window at the front of the building, a window opens, and a cup comes through the window, containing one of the four classical humours.40 The building has no interior access, and nothing can be seen through the window when it opens. Additionally, anything placed within disappears if it's inside after the hour is over. Dispensed liquids appear non-anonymous.
Date of Recovery: 05/16/2025
Location of Recovery: Essex, Maryland, United States
Current Status: Relocated to hangar at Site-██.
Item Description: A container of Tic Tac branded mints. Taking the mints will cause any addictive tendencies or substance abuse disorders in the subject to cease. The container also holds a currently undetermined (speculated to be infinite) amount of mints. The expiration date on the container says the word "never" rather than an actual date.
Date of Recovery: 08/25/2019
Location of Recovery: A drugstore in Portland, Maine, United States.
Current Status: In the Site-19 infirmary for use on staff exhibiting substance abuse or addiction related problems.
Item Description: A collection of 64 (16 for each 4 colors; white, red, yellow, and blue variants) gobstopper candies 68mm in diameter that can't be destroyed in any way. Licking these candies will slowly change the pattern instead of dissolving into the next layer.
Date of Recovery: 01/04/2023
Location of Recovery: A candy store in [REDACTED], Jakarta, Indonesia.
Current Status: In storage, some of them are used by Dr. ██████ for his own Russian pyramid billiard table.
Item Description: A Motorola phone that appears visually unremarkable. Individuals that hold the phone while bedtime mode41 is on will experience altered perception until they sleep for a full 8 hours. Animated media, such as movies, TV shows, video games and YouTube videos will appear in grayscale to them during high-stress moments, primarily when themes of death are involved. This effect grows more profound if extended contact is made with the device while bedtime mode is on, and if someone holds the phone for 8 hours while it's in bedtime mode, they will proceed to enter a comatose state where they only dream in black and white, and suffer from near constant nightmares. This state has been observed to last up to approximately 24 hours. Other display modes have been observed to have other effects as well. Color inversion causes the individual to perceive events around them in a pessimistic manner until the mode is turned off, night light42 causes a red tint to the subject's vision until morning, color correction causes everything to look vibrant until the subject sees something that's pure grey, black, or white, and auto-rotate causes the subject's eyes to rotate in orientation with the phone, and when the phone is flipped, their body [REDACTED].
Date of Recovery: 02/08/2025
Location of Recovery: The Boardwalk, Atlantic City, New Jersey, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage with all display modes turned off. These modes are only to be turned on during testing. Neutralized after a test involving the hotspot mode. This test caused the phone to burn at approximately ██████⁰C, self-destructing.
Item Description: A 68mm white phenolic resin ball, that when thrown, will glow faintly, emits a sound audible only to the thrower with a volume proportional to its velocity, and manifest trajectory lines visible only to the thrower until it stops, upon which all anomalous effects cease.
Date of Recovery: 02/12/2024
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED] Science Center, Liberty State Park in Jersey City, New Jersey, United States
Current Status: In storage, occasionally used for recreational and scientific purposes.
Item Description: Eighteen (18) Forty-two (42) stand-up desks from a non-existent manufacturer, Morden Workforce Supplies Limited. Anyone that attempts to use one of these desks while sitting down will suddenly become extremely tired, falling asleep with their head on the desk. Additionally, anyone that attempts to use one of these desks while standing up will constantly complain as they experience above-average levels of foot, knee, and back pain, commonly associated with standing for 12+ hours.
Date of Recovery: 03/18/2025
Location of Recovery: Truman and Wright Marketing, Baltimore, Maryland, United States. Second batch intercepted en-route in Chesapeake City, Maryland, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage.
Item Description: A visually unremarkable Bicycle brand poker deck. Despite being extremely worn, and bearing stains from ash and whiskey, the cards are seemingly impervious to further damage. Anyone that can see the cards while the deck is not assembled into a house of cards will be influenced by the deck's cognitohazardous properties, becoming fixated on making a house of cards out of the deck until they successfully do so. This urge overrides base survival instincts, and can only be ended early if any danger is posed to the cards or an influenced individual is asked to play a game of Euchre.
Date of Recovery: 04/04/2025
Location of Recovery: Tirf Marina, Atlantic City, New Jersey, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage.
Item Description: A polished wooden disciplinary paddle, with the words "Attitude Adjuster" written in large lettering across its side. When any human or living sentient creature is struck by it, a reversal of mood is observed for approximately thirty (30) minutes. To clarify, the 'attitudes' of living subjects are changed to their approximate opposites. Depressed subjects display a cheerful demeanor, and subjects who are excited or ecstatic become markedly bored.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of Recovery: Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts, United States.
Current Status: Contained in a high-security items locker on Site-██ low-security storage.
Item Description: A steel folding chair. Object displays an inverse of the second law of thermodynamics. If a heat source is applied to it, the object will decrease significantly in temperature. This effect persists across copies of the object.
Date of Recovery: 17/02/2002
Location of Recovery: Factory in Almhult, Sweden
Current Status: Site-03 interrogation room. Returned to manufacturer.
Item Description: A Crazy Glue brand glue tube, which has had the label mostly removed. A piece of duct tape with the words "Supper Gue" [sic] has been crudely wrapped around it, and the contents have been replaced with a black, tar-like substance similar in chemical composition to burnt bacon grease. If the substance is used to affix one non-organic object to another, and the combined object is smaller than 1 (one) cubic meter, the resulting object becomes edible. Edible does not mean digestible, however, and while dangerous objects can be made safe to eat, it does not change their nutritional values or allow the body to digest indigestible materials such as plastic. Applying the substance to an object larger than 1 (one) cubic meter causes the substance to turn into hydrochloric acid.
Date of Recovery: 04/20/2025
Location of Recovery: Discovered during a Foundation raid on an abandoned warehouse in Port Deposit, Maryland, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage.
Anomalous Items 1481 - 1490
Item Description: 5 (five) sets of Granger brand cut-resistant gloves. The branding has been crudely covered with colored tape labelled "Cute Rezestant Glubs" [sic]. These gloves are completely impervious to damage from blades, but the wearer will still suffer injuries as though they weren't wearing the gloves at all. Wearing any of these gloves, even an incomplete pair, causes the wearer to be deemed extremely unattractive, to the point of physical repulsion. Attempting to put these gloves on anything other than one's hands causes the object or appendage they're put on to be turned into a lemon.
Date of Recovery: 04/20/2025
Location of Recovery: Discovered during a Foundation raid on an abandoned warehouse in Port Deposit, Maryland, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage.
Item Description: 6 (six) Great Value brand personal waste baskets. Each has a piece of paper tape affixed crudely to the side, labeled "chrash" [sic]. While the waste baskets appear non-anomalous, if trash is put inside while the basket is empty, a seemingly endless chasm opens at the bottom, taking the object with it. This chasm is only accessible from the inside, and the exterior of the basket is unaffected. Soon after, the bottom reappears, and any object that was dropped into the chasm is replaced with another. Objects that appear are theorized to come from other trash cans, and it's unknown how the objects are produced. If an object that isn't trash is put inside the basket, the basket collapses into itself and vanishes.
Date of Recovery: 04/20/2024
Location of Recovery: Discovered during a Foundation raid on an abandoned warehouse in Port Deposit, Maryland, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage. 1 (one) instance of the item was lost in testing; 5 (five) remain.
Item Description: A plastic robotic dog. This dog appears to be a shih tzu, and matches the size for its breed. Attached to the tail is pink tape labelled "Reel Dog" [sic]. The dog is normally completely inanimate, but when fish is inserted into the mouth, it becomes incredibly hostile for approximately 30 seconds, attempting to eat the nearest living organism alive. If it succeeds in biting a living organism, that organism is swallowed whole, and 30 minutes later, a catfish is ejected from where the dog's privates would be.
Date of Recovery: 04/20/2024
Location of Recovery: Discovered during a Foundation raid on an abandoned warehouse in Port Deposit, Maryland, United States
Current Status: Held in low-value storage.
Item Description: A souvenir coin maker by Morden Board of Tourism Limited, designed for visitors to Site-19. The dispenser is designed to imprint a pattern on electrum coins, patterns which are based on random SCP entities contained within Site-19. There are no records of such a device ever being commissioned, but documents prove that the order was made by the SCP Foundation.
Date of Recovery: 04/04/2025
Location of Recovery: Site-19
Current Status: Held in low-value storage. Staff are not permitted to use the machine.
Item Description: A copy machine with no visible manufacturer's information, visually identical to various commercially available models. When set up at a location, relevant documentation will either manifest or be altered to indicate that the item has always been present. Human memory is not altered flawlessly, instead leading to hazy recollections of the item from various points in the past. This can occasionally lead to impossible scenarios where affected subjects recall the item being present at a time before such devices were invented.
Date of Recovery: 5/5/2025
Location of Recovery: An office building in Syracuse, NY
Current Status: In testing.
Item Description: 89 (eighty-nine) black and silver water coolers from Morden Workforce Supplies Limited. Cooler sources water from standard plumbing and requires electricity to function, but otherwise functions anomalously, pulling water through a portal in the water connection. Water manifests in the nearest open container. The definition of container seems very vague, and water has manifested within individuals' mouths or bodies. When the blue (cold) nozzle is operated, heat is transferred from the machine to the user in order to cool the water coming out. When the red (hot) nozzle is operated, heat is taken from the user to heat up the water coming out. Any attempt made to operate the machine while it is not connected to water ends catastrophically. Operating either nozzle absorbs water from the operator and those nearby. When the blue (cold) nozzle is operated, steam fills the air, melting the machine and burning anything nearby. When the red (hot) nozzle is operated, frost fills the air. Prolonged use of the cold nozzle when the machine is empty causes a brief, localized hailstorm. If the machine is operated without electricity, anyone nearby is [REDACTED].
Date of Recovery: 05/02/2025
Location of Recovery: Delivery intercepted in Baltimore, Maryland, United States
Current Status: Held in specialized low-value storage. To prevent potential disasters in the case of malfunction, all devices are to be kept connected to Site plumbing and electricity at all times, except when moving to another area. Nozzle locks are to be utilized to prevent unintended actuation of the nozzles.
Item Description: Small, bright green plastic egg, visually identical to commercially available Easter eggs. The interior dimensions are considerably larger than the exterior dimensions should allow, somewhere between 8 and 9 times what should be possible.
Date of Recovery: April 21st, 2025
Location of Recovery: In the yard of Mr. and Mrs. [REDACTED], Portland, Maine, United States
Current Status: In low-value item storage.
Note: Despite having small children, Mr. and Mrs. [REDACTED] denied purchasing or hiding the egg, and disavowed all knowledge of its existence. A Foundation investigation is in process, under a suitable cover story. At the time of discovery, the item was filled with small candies of several common varieties, which were confirmed to be non-anomalous.
Item description: An extradimensional space housing exact 1:1 replicas of the Pyramids of Giza.
Date of Discovery: 7 November 1956
Location of Recovery: Basement of the British Museum
Current status: The Foundation is currently mediating negotiations between the British Occult Service and the Egyptian Department of the Anomalous for the return of the anomaly.
Item Description: A lightweight, black metal bat with a smooth finish and the word “Modesty” neatly printed along its body. When used to hit someone, it triggers an instant, PG-13-friendly attitude correction. The subject immediately ceases any inappropriate or disruptive behavior, becoming calm, respectful, and well-mannered, though the effect is temporary. No lasting harm has been reported as of yet, just a swift reset for unruly conduct.
Date of Recovery: 20-05-2025
Location of Recovery: Recovered from a wild bear trespassing in the forest around the perimeter of Site-06T-9.
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: “As the Security Chief of Site-06T-9, I propose the controlled use of this object as a non-lethal training aid during orientation for new recruits.” –Security Chief, Mason
Item Description: Seventeen (17) earthworms (Lumbricus terrestris). When one is cut in half, each half will regrow into a full, live worm, over the course of a few hours. Both resulting worms will retain this anomalous property. Children of the anomalous worms have no anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: 05/17/2024
Location of Recovery: Five (5) were found in a high school science classroom in Maryland Heights, Missouri. The rest were created as a result of testing at Site-85.
Current Status: One (1) deceased, ceasing anomalous properties. The rest are in a terrarium in the office of Site Director Brentson.
Anomalous Items 1491 - 1500
Item Description: A time-inverted pocket watch. Each hand of the watch ticks counterclockwise instead of clockwise. Initially, the watch had a large crack through it, but it "healed" itself after being dropped by a researcher.43
Date of Recovery: 07/09/2013
Location of Recovery: Spontaneously materialized after a catastrophic explosion at Site-██.
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A pen containing ink that appears as a different color between individual viewers. The pen constantly replenishes its supply of ink through unknown means after use.
Date of Recovery: 24/10/2023
Location of Recovery: Discovered at Site-106.
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A formicidohazard44 that causes anything spoken or written about it to make capacitohazardous use of words ending in "-hazard." Additionally, it is normohazardously olfactohazardous. It does not become any less olfactohazardous when cleaned with hygienohazards.
Date of Recovery: 02/23/2025
Location of Recovery: Appeared at Site-85 through unknown, potentially normohazardous means.
Current Status: In standard normohazardous animal escapohazard.
Item Description: A vinyl record that, when played, transforms the room it is being played in into a pop-up shop for a seemingly random designer brand45. The room reverts back to its previous state upon pause or removal of the record from the turntable. Outward appearance of album "Skeletrix Language" by American rapper Edward Skeletrix.
Date of Recovery: 05/27/2025
Location of Recovery: Ordered by Dr. Kava from American retailer Amoeba Records. Amoeba Records denies ever carrying the product.
Current Status: Personal collection of Dr. Kava. Dr. Kava is permitted to play the record for personal pleasure as long as notification of intent to use is given to Senior Researcher Brennan at least 12 hours prior. Any items purchased from pop-up shops are to be inspected by Senior Researcher Brennan and dry-cleaned.
Item Description: An arcade fortune-teller machine. When any number of U.S. quarters between 2 and 10 are inserted, the machine activates and announces the winning numbers for the next EuroMillions lottery. The mechanism lacks any observable connection to external data sources or networks.
Date of Recovery: 04-01-2011
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED] Arcade, Arkansas, United States.
Current Status: The object is currently stored in Anomalous Item Locker [REDACTED] at Site-06. Access is restricted to personnel with Level 3 clearance or higher to prevent potential misuse by employees.
Item Description: A 20$ US bill that, when in possession of a person, causes that person to have an inexplicable urge to commit theft. If the item is taken by a second person, the anomalous effect will transfer to said person. Killing the owner of the bill causes the anomalous effect to disappear until the item is taken by someone else.
Date of Recovery: 15-05-2015
Location of Recovery: Discovered in possession of the ████ Police Department after officer █████ ██████ was caught stealing pens from their co-workers desk.
Current Status: Held in low-value storage. Item is returned to storage by a D-class after which the D-class is terminated. All testing terminated by vote of the Ethics Committee.
Item Description: A pair of antique brass lamps with floral engravings. When one lamp is cleaned, the other gets dirtier, accumulating an equivalent amount of dirt, dust, blood stains, dried semen, and [REDACTED]. Both lamps function without any external power source and exhibit no signs of oxidation or decay.
Date of Discovery: 28/3/1975
Location of Recovery: █████, Arkansas.
Current Status: Stored in low-level storage at Site-06.
Item Description: The first SCiPNet server, specially manufactured in 1971 as part of the fledgling stages of developing the Foundation's intranet. It was specifically designed to incorporate various experimental anomalous modifications in an attempt to ensure its stored information was secure, but after a year of use, suddenly began experiencing an extensive series of errors which caused any data it held to become antimemetic. Due to the item's anomalous properties, it still remains unclear how much data was lost and the nature of said data. It initially avoided destruction due to hopes of data recovery, but is now recognized for its historical significance.
Date of Recovery: 4/13/197246
Location of Recovery: Foundation Site-15, Santa Clara Valley, California, USA
Current Status: On display in the Site-222 lobby.
Item Description: A jumpsuit, visually similar to the uniforms worn by delivery service workers, although no logo is visible. The item's color appears to be perceived differently by observers; all reported colors thus far have been neutral colors (brown, gray, black, various dark shades, etc). When a human subject wears the item, they become extremely unmemorable. Others can interact with, have conversations, etc., with the subject as normal, but will have considerable difficulty remembering what was said, what the subject did, or any details of the subject's appearance. It is unclear whether this effect is cognitohazardous, antimemetic, or both. The item also appears resistant to any form of staining or damage, although this effect has not been adequately tested.
Date of Recovery: 06/06/2025
Location of Recovery: Abandoned at a dry cleaner's in Cleveland, OH
Current Status: Being evaluated for suitability of use by response teams on covert assignments.
Item Description: A silver flower and golden fruit of indeterminate variety. Attempts to separate them result in both objects emitting light or fire that damages or removes obstacles blocking their line of sight to each other. Spectral analysis of the fire emitted by the golden fruit is consistent with that of a Class G star.
Date of Recovery: 02/09/1973
Location of Recovery: Bournemouth, United Kingdom
Current Status: In storage.