LaRue Post - BANG!
rating: +37+x

The following is a posting found torn from the Board in La Rue Macabre.


La Rue Macabre

FOR SALE: BIG-ASS Firework! (Fuck, it's heavier than it looks)

It's kinda green-ish, looks new. Pin still attached. $35, obo.

Look, I know it's a grenade, not an "official" firework. But anything that blows up can be a firework if you look at it right. Right? Plus, explosions are pretty. Bright fire. Lights, Action, BANG! You get me, right? It's exciting.

But anywho, here's this thing I got. It's got lots of uses. Decorating a new house? this looks great on a mantel. Or making the mantel go away. Wanna get a new boat? Oops, now you have no boat. TIME TO GET A NEW ONE!

Really it's a great firework. But only once. Also, you can throw it! Maybe launch it? Also, there's probably shrapnel. Looks like it's got shrapnel. These things have shrapnel, right? So yeah, maybe don't throw it.

OR, you can hang it from a tree and pull the pin. Maybe don't do that. Hang it from a tree and tie a string and stand really far away and pull the pin and watch it go boom really loud and half the tree falls over and splashes in the swamp or river with lots of water and fish get scared and fly away. i mean fish don't fly, but

HEY, it's GREAT for fishing. Pull the pin an drop it in the water. probably not from a dock, maybe not from the boat you already blew up. but if there's only one and you're fishing with it, the boat is still fine.

So maybe throw it far from the boat? but throwing isn't a good idea. maybe don't go fishing with it.

Anyway, I have a firework! 35$, obo.


I'm gonna be real mad if someone drops that in my swamp, boyo. If it does decide to take a swim, you had best not come home for a bit.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License