Kinchtheknifeblade's Author Page
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SCP-2852, SCP-2420, and SCP-2612 chilling out.

[insert copypasta here]

This is just going to be a list of articles I make, and also fun little tidbits about them that you might've not known or wanted to know or thought to even not know. The easter eggs aren't always easter eggs, but it's whatever, right?

I kind of helped make Gamers Against Weed, or GAW. I think I set the tone for them, but Scans thought up the group. Bluntfiend is my OC Don't Steal. I think he's very funny, and I hope things go well for him. My friend Dolphin (my super amazing co-writer of 2721) gave him his last name, but I like to think I'm responsible for his aesthetic, at least. Well, and Scans, too. But I got most of the weird Catholic guilt down for Jude.

I helped write SCP-2721, SCP-1781, and SCP-4004! They're not on this list due to how it is, but I helped write them.

SCP Number Rating Comments Created
SCP-2852 798 90 24 Feb 2015 04:04
SCP-3004 774 90 24 Mar 2017 04:04
SCP-2420 511 83 16 Jun 2015 05:12
SCP-2293 428 83 13 Nov 2016 01:15
SCP-4493 294 74 24 Jun 2019 02:01
SCP-1390 251 74 07 Jun 2012 00:54
SCP-3012 250 62 03 May 2017 19:45
SCP-2396 239 38 31 Oct 2016 04:22
SCP-3420 222 31 16 May 2017 07:00
SCP-2959 222 68 18 Sep 2016 04:01
SCP-2612 220 26 28 Jul 2015 04:52
SCP-4669 183 56 24 Aug 2018 20:20
SCP-3367 154 22 05 Jun 2018 17:17
SCP-5868 149 13 04 Mar 2021 03:14
SCP-4358 143 20 07 Oct 2019 18:52
SCP-2542 135 39 17 Jan 2017 19:30
SCP-2690 129 26 24 Jul 2015 07:01
SCP-3190 82 15 17 Feb 2018 14:16
Title Rating Comments Created
Sometimes It's Not Funny 309 77 28 Sep 2017 21:10
Different Kinds of Nihilism 266 48 15 Nov 2016 18:18
What Passes as Normal in the Digital Age 205 30 11 Jan 2017 04:46
Phantom Blunt 152 13 25 May 2017 18:42
Bong Rip Tendency 122 24 19 Jun 2017 18:01
Kiefdust Crusaders 95 13 04 Aug 2017 02:16
Tyrone Joins the Family 93 11 01 Sep 2018 00:53
Diamond Is Not Kush 68 9 14 Jul 2020 22:55
Red Plague Rid You for Learning Me Your Language 66 9 24 Jun 2023 18:03
Taking Care of the Kids 57 7 01 Jan 2020 19:47
Sometimes Manna Is Just a Cicada Shell 51 3 22 Sep 2018 23:03
A Cicada's Funeral Dirge 44 3 27 Oct 2018 07:53
The Things I Did for Love 40 2 10 Mar 2019 05:01
Cervine Love 29 8 28 Jan 2022 23:11
When Home and Hearth No Longer Offer Solace from the Specter of Night 28 4 28 Dec 2018 19:45

SCP-1390 "A Dead Language" - This is my first article. It came to me when I was simply stressed out of my mind about the language requirement for my English major. I remember staying up all night studying Latin, a dead-ass language. And right around that time, I stumbled on the SCP Wiki. And from then on, I kinda stopped studying Latin. Don't worry, though. I totally got my degree. So yeah, basically, this is an undergrad's anxieties about their English major and other languages coalescing into a pretty "okay" piece about dudes turning into angels or some shit.

And yes, I did mean for them to be literally turning into angels. This article posits that humans have something inside of them, maybe another step of human evolution, that is unlocked by a certain pattern of thoughts best expressed through writing and speech. And boom, you get wings made out of light and all your old friends are shooting you.

Fun Easter Egg: Site Director Cavoli is named after my high school Latin teacher. He, indeed, spoke about ten languages, and he was a genius. I love him dearly.

SCP-2852 "Cousin Johnny" - This one is my attempt at making something, well, more attuned to the site's creepypasta roots. I found the picture used in the article in my basement one day when I was doing some, I don't know, basement shit. The picture struck me in how weird it looked. Originally, I was going to have the little girl in the front of the picture be the SCP (btw, she's my godmother) but I felt weird about it, so my dad gave me permission to have him "be the monster." So yeah, it's totally my dad. My dad is an SCP. His name is John, also.

This SCP is basically just riffing on the weirdness of Roman Catholicism (a religion to which I was born) and the family parties that surrounded it. Originally, I was going to include First Communion in here, but I felt like three felt better than four. A funny thing is that I actually intended to write this for about, well, two years. And when I finally did, all the cicada stuff just poured out from me. It wasn't intended to be in the piece, but I think it was the strongest part of it. Bugs are fucking gross.

I have no idea what Cousin Johnny's deal is. I guess I know what his deal is now.

Fun Easter Egg: I think it's so fucking funny to call Roman Catholicism and Anglicanism the same thing, so I threw it into the article.

SCP-2420 "A Good Dog" - Mattie is my dog in real life. I love dogs. I don't want Mattie to ever die, but she is getting old. I wrote this for her, even though she can't read. I also wanted to be able to say that my dad AND my dog were both SCPs.

I chose the number, because I wanted to take #420 and have it not be about weed.

Fun Easter Egg: The blanket Mattie is laying on in the article is the one SCP-2420 buries her in.

SCP-2690 "Angel's Tongue" - This piece came to me, pretty literally, in a half-dream state brought on by Xanax, marijuana, and a lot of exhaustion. I couldn't get "Object Class: Beautiful" out of my head, and the rest kind of followed. I thought it'd be fun to fit this into the Short Works contest, because, as you can see, I have a habit of never shutting up.

The SCP itself is a corpse. The corpse is the ruler mentioned in SCP-1390. The SCP-2690-A's are becoming a kind of bastardized SCP-1390-2 subjects. The corpse has gone beyond the third stage. His words are his flesh and vice versa. They're not really supposed to get wings, if infected properly, but he's kind of brute forcing their bodies apart.

SERAPHIM-1390 is supposed to hint at the link between the two. PROCEDURE ICARUS-2690 is probably as simple as dropping a couple of nuclear bombs on the ancient tomb and hoping shit goes okay.

Fun Easter Egg: I would've expunged what SCP-2690-A were even if it weren't for the short work contest, but goddamn if that didn't help.

SCP-2612 "The Weight of The World A Donkey and Its Cart" - This piece uses this creepy lawn ornament that's been in my backyard since we moved here. I don't know if it was ever used. Sometimes I feel bad for it, when I stare at it while I mow the lawn. So I wrote this scip for it.

The idea here is that the SCP-2612, the one that carries The Load, comes to Director Garcia, sees him thinking of it as a jackass with a cart, and doesn't understand that it's a joke. Luckily, Garcia wasn't about to explain it. The scip, then, comes to Garcia wondering if that's what it is, if it can always have been that. Garcia tells it yes it can. And thus a keter scip is Mostly neutralized, and everyone's happy at the end.

Fun Easter Egg: This isn't an easter egg, but a lot of people seem to think this is another sad scip. IMO, this is nothing but triumphant.

SCP-2721 "Eli and Lyris" - Hahahaha. So if any piece I was involved with could be called contested, it's probably this one. It comes pretty naturally from my life. Lyris resembles a lot of bloggers I've known, and Eli is a lot like some friends I've had. I thought something like a weird love story between two genderweird alien things could be interesting. Originally, I posted this article myself. And Dolphinslugchugger came to me asking if she could rewrite it. I thought it would be more fun for us to kind of collab, and I think it turned out really well.

All the moon stuff, that's all DSG. Lyris's section is also pretty much one hundred percent her, also. Eli's posts were the only thing really untouched. I'm still enormously proud of this one. Even though a lot of people seem to hate it and get all riled up about it, I think it's filling in a niche that should be filled in this wiki. I think weird sci-fi writing has plenty of room for weird trans internet shit next to all the other weird internet shit.

Fun Easter Egg: Pretty much, uh, the whole thing?

SCP-2959 "What We Did, What We Were" - This piece stands pretty much on its own, I think? It's my entry to the D-Class contest. I always thought, if we were being honest with ourselves, the D-Class system doesn't gel with any assumption of the Foundation being "good." So I decided to try to work out why a good Foundation would have an evil thing and kind of moved from that premise.

My idea with the interview is that there's a small percentage of the D-Class population that can be viewed as factory mistakes? When they realize they're not being tested on or anything, they kind of turn off. I figured a cool way to show conserving power would be to have her start talking while garbling up things the interviewer had said. I think Scans might have given me that idea also. I can't remember. It's probably that.

Fun Easter Egg: The only reason I named the D-Class Selina was because I was watching Veep while writing the interview.

SCP-2396 "Ms. Sweetie" - This is my first GoI SCP which is pretty weird considering Dr. W isn't even in my top three. But still, the Little Misters have always been a fun series of articles, and seeing that Ms. Sweetie wasn't taken made me, well, want to. I was worried Sweetie could get chosen by someone with weird sensibilities or something. I didn't want her to turn into another weird naked girl that has to drink cum and all dudes wanna bang.

Suffice to say, Sweetie went through a shitload of different ideas. The goal, through its entirety, was to try to make sure Sweetie didn't read as some weird fetish shit. And you'd be amazed at how many innocent ideas I pitched to people who told me I just described some DeviantArt shit. And I really do think I succeeded there.

Fun Easter Egg: There's two here. Dr. O'Herlihy is named after the actor who plays the head of the Shamrock Corp. in Halloween 3. I just did it, because hey, halloween. Also, with regards to her height, I was totally initially mistaken and thought 2.5 meters was more like seven feet, but when I found it that it was more like 8.2 I decided to stick with it. I kind of think it lends to her otherness.

SCP-2293 "An Inside Joke" - This, unsurprisingly, is based on someone trolling me for my Stephen King love in a discord chat. Yes, that was the exact line used, and yes I thought it was a line actually used in the movie they were claiming it was in. I am gaycopmp4. You may think I am bluntfiend, but I am the easily owned whiner.

I really like this scip, and I hope more people write things like this within the GAW canon. I love the Misters Against Weed, but I would absolutely love, love, love to see more pranks as scps.

Fun Easter Egg: jockjamsvol6 has enormously good luck. Think of him like the kid from gunnerkrigg court. hetcopogg has no real abilities, but she's there because gaycopmp4 is real moody. gaycopmp4 is an amazing hacker. harmpit is a magic version of a script kiddy. polaricecraps is young and may be magic (think bluntfiend). lesbian_gengar can make cognitohazards.

Different Kinds of Nihilism - This is my first tale. It comes from a more heartfelt place than where you'd guess most GAW articles come from. I wanted to capture Gamers Against Weed as a deeply political group but also one with a conscience. I wanted to make sure that GAW didn't go down the AWCY path of incomprehensibility and masturbation.

I hope it holds.

Fun Easter Egg: I like to think that Eli is the mod of every single GAW chat. Bones is the official mod of every GAW group, because it is a very good, very impartial mod. I bet people think Bones is like a weird hacker with some autoresponder (like Lil Hal). Cuz like how else could he always, always be active in so many chats at once? I think it's funny that the GAW people are so used to magic and weird shit but don't take Bones at face value about being a satellite.

What Passes as Normal in the Digital Age - I didn't want Bluntfiend to overshadow all the GAW stuff, so I thought the best way was to focus this tale on the only non-anomalous member that I've introduced so far. I think telling a trans story on the wiki is good, and it is worthwhile. I'm glad the reception has been pretty positive.

Fun Easter Egg: Polaricecraps was mocked mercilessly and will continue to be mocked mercilessly for thinking that Dahlia wanted a giant fucking trans symbol on her laptop.

SCP-2542 "Grinds Exceeding Small" - Sometimes I like to turn the heat up to get myself a little nervous. I always think better when I'm nervous.

Fun Easter Egg: Tayn't is a character I made up on my blog as, like, a joke, but I always thought with some tweaks he'd work as an SCP. Imo, he does.

SCP-3004 "Imago" - This is my entrance for the 3000 contest. It did moderately well but not, like, sweet. It is a little uneven at places, but I think that's just the result of my shitty ability at writing old-timey.

I honestly wrote this, because bugs weird me the fuck out. I have no idea why. And I was raised Roman Catholic, so all of that shit with Confirmation and Eucharist is stuck in my head forever. I wanted to write something else like SCP-2852 but make it, you know, bigger. Make it wilder. I can see how it's similar. Then again, there are also a billion articles about flesh monsters and cog dicks, so what I'm saying is I'm allowed two Catholic cicada gods.

In the story, I really do think 3004-1 is the God of Christianity at this point, whether or not it was to begin with. And, to be truthful, I think Protocol Damnatio ad Bestias would work. There's nothing to say it wouldn't. Imagine how different everything would be Christianity. It'd need a fucking total world reset. I think it involves more than just some amnestics, but some actual reality bending on a scale normally unthinkable. Maybe they got Jude's brain hooked up to a generator, I dunno. They're doin' it.

Fun Easter Egg: Agent Lutterman and Fr. Clark are named after two of my good friends. The former helped me a lot with the weird bug parts, 'cause he's a weird bug man.

SCP-3012 "Smoke the Reefer, Meet the Reaper" - I wrote this story, because I figured as one of the two more prolific GAW writers, I should write a fucking Mister. Truthfully, I absolutely hate the Misters Against Weed. I find the joke funny, but I sometimes regret sticking Jude and co. onto that just because it goes against their ethos in certain ways. This piece is me tackling that, while also tackling a lot of things about myself.

I like the idea of ice cream scooping souls, and to me, it makes the ultimate question of "where the fuck are they getting these people to turn into bad jokes if they're so nice?". They're giving life to things that didn't exactly ask for it, sure, but at least they're not disturbing eternal rest.

Mr. Ominous is the antithesis, personality-wise, of what I wanted GAW to be. Mr. Ominous tells mean jokes. Mr. Ominous would've called dear hetcopogg the t-slur if she had been around at that point. If he hadn't been swept up into the bullshit world of Wondertainment conspiracy theories, little Ominous would've probably ended up as one of those fucking #freekekistan nerds. And he knows that. And it terrifies him.

Mr. Ominous is about growing up in online communities. It's about finding a set of ethics in a place you didn't expect that. It's about how jokes have real power and can be healing as well as destructive. It's also, I guess, about brusqueness, about that strange masculine, schoolboy desire to just keep fucking dunking on your friends.

Fun Easter Egg: Okay this doesn't count as an easter egg, but when Mr. Ominous was still alive, his GAW chat handle was wondertaintment.

SCP-3420 "Too Many Ghosts" - To the tune of Too Many Cooks.

But Seriously Folks. People have said "why don't you show the GAW characters in pain?" as though Jude isn't a fucking basket-case with never enough THC in his bloodstream to "blunt" his constant guilt and self-loathing.

I've always wanted Jude's ethos to have come from trauma. I think, a person like Jude, a person who could do horrible things if he tried hard enough, if he really tried to tune in and drop out, would react in a way about this harsh if he witnessed the horrors of That Fucking Minotaur Rape Statue AWCY SCP.

This is about the events briefly alluded to in Different Kinds of Nihilism. This is the part he doesn't like to tell. This is the part that doesn't make it into pithy little jokes. Everything in his life is to atone for not stopping the horrors of the Minotaur and for snapping and becoming "just as bad as they were." Like Batman and shit.

Fun Easter Egg: Yeah, Jude is literally smoking a bowl the entire time he's talking to the 911 operator and that poor, bored AI.

SCP-3190 "Just One More Thing" - So, it's no fucking secret to anyone that I love Columbo. I love the show. I hate cops, but there's something about this beautiful man that I love. He carries no gun. He doesn't have a partner. He drives around with a dog he's named Dog. And he's never, ever wrong. There's something about him that, to me, represents the human drive toward Justice in its purest form.

Cops don't serve justice, in my opinion. They serve the State. SCP-3190 and Columbo, they are justice made flesh. To call Columbo a cop would be like calling Zeus a swam. And that's why I wrote this.

Fun Easter Egg: I named the person who was murdered in the interview after a friend of mine. Same friend who's heavily based on Alexander from Bong Rip Tendency.

Jude's Bizarre Adventure - I'll talk about this when I'm done. Whenever I'm done.

Here's All My Shit What's Been Translated That I've Bothered To Keep Up With

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