'Kaiju Caviar' (OCN39/T5FG6/7HJL2)

rating: +244+x

Status Selling
Demand High
Value 440 GBP per serving, 2000 GBP per jar
Availability Current inventory is estimated to be approximately 3 million units
Identifier Kaiju Caviar
Description The salt-cured roe of the Colossal Aquamorph Entity which attacked the Fey isle of Hy-Brasil in 1988. Each egg is approximately 2 1/4 inches in diameter, iridescent sea green, and best served individually as an entree. Currently available from our Pretty Penny line of restaurants, both off of the Mother of Pearl Collection menu as well as in jars of 6 for retail purchase.
Marshall, Carter and Darke, LTD
Initial Report
Author Ruprecht Carter Date August 22, 1988
Interest High Identifier Kaiju Caviar
My my my my my. This Aquamorph, or whatever the proper term for it is now, has certainly proven to be an unprecedented windfall. And to think that those now impoverished pixies were so desperate they sold us the beast for barely 5 pence a pound!

As much as it delights me to see so many eager customers frantically forking over small fortunes for a handful of a festering carcass, I'm also pleased to announce that we've found a far more refined use for this creature that will appeal to our core clientele.

I'm sure you're all well aware of my love of caviar, so when I heard the Aquamorph was female I couldn't help but wonder about the nature of its eggs. I had our team slice open its ovaries and my hunch proved correct; they were filled with ripe roe, millions of eggs the size of apples, shining like pearls as green as the sea!

None of them had been fertilized, thank goodness, though that is perhaps not surprising. If you looked like that creature you'd have a hard time getting a date too. I had the lab run some tests to make sure they were safe for human consumption, then trusted them to Penny Price, our Chef du cuisine.

She did not disappoint.

These abominations are, without a doubt, the most delicious caviar I have ever eaten. They're even better than that Glittering Salmon we serve. Right now the only problem is one of overabundance. I've had a small portion of the eggs cryopreserved for research purposes, but of course, freezing caviar ruins the texture so that's not an option for the rest of them. I've had them pasteurized and vacuum sealed, so they might last 15 months, but selling so many in such a short time would flood the market (though not as flooded as Hy-Brasil was).

Our most urgent concern is finding a way, anomalous or otherwise, to preserve these eggs indefinitely. If we could do that, our supply could easily see us through to the end of the next century.

Here's to egg on our face.

~ Regards, Ruprecht Carter
File Opened Under: OCN39/T5FG6/7HJL2
Marshall, Carter and Darke, LTD
Memo 01
Sender Percival Darke Recipient Ruprecht Carter
Considering how ample our supply is, I suppose I can tolerate parting with them for a few hundred pounds apiece. Nonetheless, I must state frankly that I consider eating the eggs of a sea monster frivolity to the point of insanity.

Sadly, I expected no better from you, Ruprecht.

I can easily preserve the eggs indefinitely in an alchemic philter, but since you intend to consume them like quail eggs this may not be viable. The eggs would undoubtedly absorb some of the solution, tainting their flavour. More gravely, if even trace amounts were to be consumed by our patrons, the effects would be… unpredictable.

I request one hundred forty four gross (twenty thousand, seven hundred and thirty-six) of these eggs be delivered to my sanctum for study. Though they likely have a plethora of potential uses, I will make finding a palatable means of preserving them a priority.
Marshall, Carter and Darke, LTD
Memo 02
Sender Penny Price Recipient Ruprecht Carter
Hello Mr. Carter.

My customers are loving this Kaiju Caviar. We're selling nearly a hundred plates of it a day. I agree with you that it'd be a shame to just let it all spoil. I know you have Tall, Darke, and Hammy looking into it, but I don't really think he cares about this product as much as we do.

The caviar problem happened to come up during a conversation with a pair of my regulars. They're a Neo-Sarkic couple, very interested in the Aquamorph attack, and absolutely tickled pink at the privilege of eating its eggs. It's a privilege they'd very much like to retain, and they're willing to cut a deal.

In exchange for nothing more than free dining for life, they'd be willing to work some carnomacy that will let us preserve the eggs indefinitely.

Now we should probably do the ritual in small batches rather than all at once, in case something goes wrong and we lose the whole stock, but other than that I don't see the harm.

Get back to me and let me know what you think.

~ Kisses, Penny
Marshall, Carter and Darke, LTD
Memo 03
Sender Ruprecht Carter Recipient Penny Price
Penny, you're a genius.
Marshall, Carter and Darke, LTD
Incident Report 01
Surveillance recovered from Hathscorn Manor: 10/13/1988, 20:55 - 22:55
Time Footage
20:55 Ruprecht Carter and Penny Price arrive at Hathscorn Manor. They are greeted by Seamus and Eurydice Hathscorn.
21:00 The Hathscorns show Carter and Price to their parlour for drinks and hors d'oeuvres.
21:32 Price shows the Hathscorns a six-count jar of Kaiju Caviar.
21:38 After some preparation, the eggs are placed within a casting circle of Neo-Sarkic glyphs. Eurydice strips nude while the others don blood-red robes. Eurydice stands in the center of the casting circle while the others form a triangle around it.
21:40 After roughly a minute of chanting in Adytite, an unusual amount of menstrual blood begins to flow from Eurydice's vaginal canal. The blood drips into the circle, flows into the glyphs, and begins to vaporize into a red miasma which is absorbed by the eggs.
21:46 Fetal forms are now visible within the eggs. Carter, Price and the Hathscorns all express confusion and alarm at this development.
21:58 The first egg hatches, producing a hatchling identical to the Colossal Aquamorph Entity. While Carter is delighted at this development, the others are still clearly unnerved.
22:11 All eggs have now hatched, with the hatchlings growing rapidly. Carter attempts to place them inside of a crate, and they react with hostility.
22:13 After a brief skirmish, Carter, Price and the Hathscorns flee the parlour and seal the hatchlings in. Carter phones the London Office informing them of the situation and requesting 'monster wranglers'.
22:34 Multiple vehicles arrive at Hathscorn Manor. Carter goes out to meet them, believing they are MC&D, only to realise they are GOC. Apparently, the Hathscorn's phone line was not properly secured, alerting the GOC and possibly others to the situation.
22:37 As the GOC commander interrogates Carter, the hatchlings break out of the parlour, now nearly five feet tall. All GOC present engage the hatchlings, and Carter and Price escape in the confusion.
22:46 After successfully exterminating all six hatchlings, the GOC proceeds to interrogate the Hathscorns. When they are unable to convince them of their innocence, they attempt to fight their way out. Both are killed.
22:55 The bodies of the hatchlings, Seamus and Eurydice, as well as Hathscorn Manor, and all Neo-Sarkic paraphernalia within, are now in the possession of the GOC.
Note The MC&D legal department was later granted access to the Hathscorn's security footage to prepare for Mr. Carter's deposition.
Log end.
Memo 04
Sender Percival Darke Recipient Ruprecht Carter
Ruprecht, it seems I may owe you an apology.

This caviar problem of yours was just the incentive I needed to further develop my Chronospheric Cavaedium.

I'm quite pleased with the device. Within its confines, time can be sped up or slowed a hundredfold, and I'm quite confident it can function indefinitely. The current prototype is large enough to hold our entire stock of Aquamorph eggs, which will suffice for the present. I will, of course, be creating others, as we wouldn't want to put all our eggs in one basket.

It was very wise of you to entrust this task to me, and not go off on your own to find some back-alley Blackbloods to try to immortalize the eggs, only to mutate them into parthenogenic hatchlings that brought the Book Burners down on them, costing them their lives and nearly yours as well. Yes, it was very wise of you indeed.

You idiot.
Marshall, Carter and Darke, LTD
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