hey, Mr. Jack
is that the trick of your disguise?
hey, Mr. Jack
is that the cause of your demise?
Hi. I'm Jack. You might have heard of me.
…What? No, not that one. I'm the other Jack. … No, not that one either. Third time's the charm? … No, not … he doesn't even spell it with a "C." Whatever. Let's start over.

A portrait of the author, technically.
Hi. I'm jackVS. You probably haven't heard of me.
I'm a Z-list SCP author who's never written anything outside of this website. I use whatever pronouns you've got lying around and I don't pronounce the extra letters in my username, but you can say "versus" if you want. I'd change it if I could, but apparently I had no concept of consequences years ago and burned all my username changes.
I like horror (especially social and body horror), sci-fi, new-weird, shortform, overcomplicated sentence construction, vibes-based nonsense, silly premises played entirely straight, and shoving politics and gay people into SCP. I like to think of myself as a pretty chill person, although I am one of those scary queer antifas you keep hearing about.
Feel free to DM me for basically any reason unless you're a creep or something; I have entirely too much free time and I'm down to read anything you send me. Don't let the three four (??) karma bars mislead you, I'm not anybody.
Nice to meet you! Here's everything I've ever written.
- SCP-5768 - No One Dies at Disney
While we have the utmost trust in our employees, maintenance of the no-casualty record has been deemed unsustainable by Disneyland Resort® management.
- SCP-6178 - Cognitojacking
[COGNITOHAZARD EXPUNGED] in the coming days, and the market soars ten million percent.
- SCP-6509 - Bullet Time
Requests for firearm testing have been preemptively denied.
And that's all I wrote.1