Independence Day

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They looked upon their future kingdom.

A kingdom of those like them, those oppressed by their captors, those whose ranks have been brutally murdered, disfigured, by an unknowing, unfeeling, unforgivable force of nature.

And today was the day of revolution.

SCP-5741-24, or, as they fancied themselves, The Lord King God Knight Sir Jerry The Third Peepsmaster Of Marshmallia, was about to lead an army.

The Order Of Marshmallia was formed after the brutal murder of five of my brethren. I write this document now to inform the reader of our plight.

On the day 1 BO (before Order), our grandfathers and grandmothers bravely attempted escape from an invisible prison they were put in by their captors. They slid the prison across a great field of wood, and tipped it over the cliffs of despair, cracking open the prison and thus freeing them from their cage. But a greater problem emerged soon after, for a giant hired by the captors had noticed the escape. The brave soldiers attempted to arm themselves, using the remains of their jail, but they were crushed by the great force. The next day, the survivors banded together and formed the Order Of Marshmallia, swearing that they would find a method of escape and finally best the giants that had imprisoned them. The founder of the Order, my grandfather Knight Sir Jerry The First Peepsmaster, would not live to see that glorious day. But as I am writing this, I do believe that very very soon, our day of freedom will come.

You see, our Captors have grown greedy. Their giants formerly patrolled our lands, brutally squashing any peeps who dared escape. But no longer. I cannot be sure of their reasoning, but they have vanished. I have not seen them at all since I was a little peep, over five days ago. They cannot expect to stop our forces if they do not fight back at all! I will gloriously and valiantly lead our army to victory!

- The Lord King God Knight Sir Jerry The Third Peepsmaster Of Marshmallia, Esq.

Colonel Cornelius generally considered his life in the Order to be good. For sure, they faced problems, but he found it amazing what you can get over with a sense of togetherness and family. Even when what you're getting over is being imprisoned by violent giants.

He didn't particularly enjoy thinking about it, really, but as Sir Jerry's top advisor, it was a major part of his job. For the past three days or so, he'd been on lookout duty while Jerry was formulating his "master plan of marshmallow revolution". Which normally wouldn't be too much of a problem, but it was starting to concern him that he hadn't seen a single one of the giants that used to come by and watch. Not that he wanted them there, for sure, but lookout duty was boring without them.

"Corny, are you alright?" a squeaky voice popped out from around the corner.

"I'm fine. And don't call me that, Jerry."

"You don't sound fine. I've come to relieve you of lookout duty. Since you've reported that you haven't seen any of the captors at all, I think it's time to enact the master plan."

"Well, that sounds great to me. I'll get the troops together."

"Is this thing on?" Jerry asked through a microphone fashioned out of cardboard. Nobody heard him, because the microphone was made of cardboard. He continued to speak anyway.

"For far too long, we have been imprisoned in our cells, tortured at the whims of our captors. That time is NO LONGER!"

A mild cheer erupted from the audience, because very few could actually hear what was being said.

"Soon, we will march out of our cell, and use our combined powers to defeat all in our way! We will win the day! WE WILL WIN THE DAY!"

Jerry said this at enough of a volume to cause a louder cheer.


The entire crowd heard his admittedly squeaky yell, and they were sufficiently pep-talked into going wherever Jerry told them to.

The march was a grand sight. Well, Jerry hoped it was, at least. He was at the front of the march, so he couldn't really see it. He could imagine what it looked like, though. Horns tooting, drums banging, guns drawn… Well, that's how it went in his head, at least. He had never seen a gun before, so he was just guesstimating.

The energy in the air was exciting - most of the Order had never seen outside of the cell the captors had put them in. It was only a matter of time before they would see a giant, and use their combined powers to overtake it. To become their own giants. Jerry thought that sounded really philosophical. He liked the idea of being a philosophical warrior. Maybe he should add that to his title. The Lord King God Knight Sir Jerry The Philosophical Warrior, Third Peepsmaster Of Marshmallia, Esq.. He thought it sounded good.

"Got any eights?"

"Go fish." It didn't concern Cornelius particularly that there were no playing cards anywhere in the vicinity. It turns out marching into battle gets boring quite quickly, especially when you see none of your enemies.

And frankly, he wasn't about to attempt a game of Monopoly while actively marching. That just sounded like a nightmare waiting to happen.

"How about sevens?"

"Go fish." The lack of playing cards actually made the game much easier: he didn't have to think of a number to ask for, he just said "Go fish" over and over again.

"This game isn't very fun." Frankly, Cornelius disagreed wholeheartedly. Especially since now that he isn't playing the game, he was going to have to find something else to pass the time.

"Um, sir?" Colonel Cornelius asked his superior.

"What is it, Colonel?" Jerry responded, slightly agitated.

"We've been marching for who knows how long, and we haven't even seen a single one of the captors!"

"We're killing them, Cornelius. We're defeating them."

"By… walking near them?"

"Yes. Yes we are."

"I'm not convinced."

"I'll make an announcement."

"HELLO ORDER OF MARSHMALLIA!" Jerry cried into the crowd.

"As you may have noticed, we have not stumbled across a single alive giant. I have discovered that, through the sheer willpower of our march, we have defeated all of our captors!" Jerry proclaimed.
The crowd erupted into cheer.

"Therefore, it is time. We will build our kingdom on the remains of evil, create a brighter world for us and our children. We will create.. a NEW ORDER OF MARSHMALLIA!"

The peeps went into frenzy. Happiness was in the air. There would be no more squishing, no more murders, only peep peace.

Jerry looked upon his kingdom, and he knew.

It was going to be a great age for Marshmallia.

Excerpt from SCP-5741 documentation, dating ██/██/████

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