I Told You That I Was Afraid
rating: +40+x

All it took was an email.

One that explained why the latest Dr. Wondertainment product had been particularly devoid of charm. One that explained why their Anderson Robotics prosthetic arm wasn't working anymore. One that explained why the Breach hadn't happened this year.

But more importantly, one that explained why Jay Everwood's partner, Ilse Reynders, had been so ill as of late.

They made a mad dash from their office and onto the Inter-Sectional Subway System, leaving the terminal on their office open. Jay was able to catch the shuttle right before it left the station. They reached into their lab coat pocket in search of their Foundation-issue miniature tablet to re-read the email, only to find that they had left it in their office.

"Shit," they muttered. It didn't make a difference. It wasn't going to help Ilse get better.

It happened suddenly one night a few weeks ago. Jay and Ilse were sitting on their back porch drinking tea and watching James play in the sandbox. She suddenly dropped her cup of matcha and went catatonic. She spilled her tea all over herself and started muttering incoherently. Jay and James tried to snap her out of it to no avail.

Jay had to call the Site for help since they couldn't move her due to them being literally shorthanded. Billie Forsythe had come down to their home, and she wanted to take Ilse into the Site's medical wing. They forbade it, since Ilse would have hated being forced to go back underground. Billie eventually relented, and she became the at-home care nurse for her.

At the same time, Jay had heard rumors that Phillip Deering's "friend" Doug had disappeared. Udo lost her spark. The Breach came and went without anything happening. More and more dominoes continued to fall until eventually, that email confirming what Jay had been dreading arrived.

"Anomalous activity worldwide has ceased."

After what felt like the longest trip to Grand Bend ever, Jay ran as fast as their legs could carry them to the home they had built their family in. They felt they were abandoning their wife and child every day they went into the Site, but the Foundation would not allow them to work from home. Bursting through the door, Jay rushed upstairs to their bedroom and left the portal open.

Billie sat at her bedside, holding Ilse's hand. The room was full of "get well soon" cards, flowers, and stuffed animals from everyone at the Site. The black curtains flapped in the incoming breeze from the open window, which Billie had opened to air out the scent of urine and aerosol.

"How is she?" Jay gasped out between breaths.

"She's been in and out of consciousness, but she's awake now. I changed her half an hour ago. Breathing is getting labored though." She sighed.

"Ilse? Ilse, can you hear me? How do you feel?" They approached, taking the ailing woman's hand in their own.

"…Mama? Ben jij dat?" Ilse coughed out, eyes cloudy.

"No, it's me, Jay."

"Ik ben zo moe…" Her voice drifted off as she spoke.

Jay's eyes were swelling as they desperately clutched Ilse's hand in theirs.

"You know I barely speak your made-up language… But it's okay. Everything is going to be okay."

Silence.

Billie grimaced. She got up and moved towards Jay, putting a hand on their shoulder.

"I'll go check on James," she said, to which Jay nodded.

"Ik voel me zo zwakjes, Lys…"

Jay's face was the same color as Ilse's hair. They knelt down and began sobbing, desperately clutching her hand.

"The O5 sent an email today," they hiccuped between sobs. "I don't want to talk about work with you while you're like this, but… Ilse, the magic is gone."

"Wat? Waar ben ik? Ik moet naar huis."

"Your age finally caught up to you, dear." Jay broke down sobbing as Ilse shut her eyes.

"Ik denk dat ik een dutje nodig heb…"

Jay remained in position. They continued to weep until suddenly, Ilse's chest stopped moving. A brief, reticent death rattle escaped her lips. It was only barely audible to Jay, who stopped their crying upon hearing it. They sighed and got back up, letting go of their partner's hand.

A soft, yet cold breeze entered through the open window, making the black curtains float for a moment. Jay approached the window and considered shutting it for the briefest of moments before remembering a story Ilse had told them a while back. Deciding against it, they merely watched the curtains dance in the wind.

They turned to face the standing mirror where Ilse would experiment with makeup and her hair and remembered another story Director Leiner had told them. Jay grabbed the spare bed sheet Billie had left on the nightstand and used it to cover the mirror. A sigh escaped their lips as they turned to face the bed Ilse's body rested on, and tears welled in their eyes.

"Until we meet again."

They exited the room and made their way down the stairs. Billie had shut the front door and was sitting with James in the living room across the hallway. Jay and Billie exchanged glances, to which the latter nodded and got up, hugged them, and then made her way upstairs again.

James, for his part, was playing on his Switch. Jay approached him and took a seat beside him on the couch, putting their only arm around him.

"James. Mom… is dead." They sighed.

"I thought mom was immoral, like me," he said.

"Immortal, James."

"That's what I said!" The boy stopped, putting down his game system. He turned to face his parent, a confused expression on his face. "What does dead mean?"

There was a brief silence, during which Jay nearly broke out into tears again.

"It's… when someone goes to sleep and never wakes up."

"But mom always wakes up."

"Not this time."

Silence once more.

James seemed to be processing what Jay had just said. He picked up his Switch again and turned it off.

"What are we going to do?" he asked in a tone that Jay couldn't quite read.

"Come, let's take you to go see your mom one last time before the Site coroner comes." Jay's eyes overflowed with tears at the thought of their son now also being mortal. They weren't as concerned about their own death before, since they knew he would have Ilse as a fellow immortal. But there was no telling what would happen next.

James, upon seeing his parent begin to openly start crying, began sniffling and crying himself. He launched himself at their side, clinging to them in a tight embrace.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too, James."

"Am I still immortal?"

"I don't know."

"What's going to happen to me?"

"… I don't know."

"I'm scared."

"I'm scared too, but everything is going to be okay. I promise."

Just like Jay had promised Ilse.














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