all i ever wanted; all i ever deserved
rating: +53+x

In this world, flowers bloom in hues too tender to survive elsewhere. Meadows are sacred spaces from which flow all mercies. The inhabitants bow to nothing and follow only their own devotions. Sometimes the consequences are almost too much to bear.

On the day Dr. Sophia Light joined the Foundation, she stopped crying. She had lost her fiance, Mars -not just her life but her memory- from a freak accident that she also couldn't recall. All Sophia had left was how it felt to have no recollection about the love of her life, as if having fallen in love with nobody. Yet she still could not mourn.

But the Nobody who died was Sophia's Nobody under the name Mars. From the corpse sprung forth another iteration- stripped from the label of belonging to her beloved. This was Nobody's burden; Nobody could not be anyone to anybody.

She still thought of herself as Sophia's Nobody, even though her identity had been killed from her beloved's perception. She believed it was alright- that this was an acceptable loss. Sophia was still alive and Nobody could still be by her side.

The Foundation always insisted Dr. Light take a vacation on the day of their planned wedding; she would never know why. She meandered in ignorance of the arm curled around her left arm, the fingers entwining her own, or the head resting upon her shoulder. She listened to the sweetness of a summer breeze and did not hear the sweeter nothings whispered into her ears.

Nobody thought herself the happiest woman in the world, to walk a forest with her lover on their wedding anniversary.

As if suddenly entering a daydream, they step into a clearing of subtle blue flowers, like the sky's secret diary.

As far as Sophia knew, this is the first time she had seen such a gem. Yet she cannot contain her excitement. She sprints and splashes in the marsh that birthed this field of Indian hyacinth.

Mars had brought them here, on the day they confessed to each other. They had danced together in this soggy landscape until the stars became their audience. Here, the two choreographed their relationship and believed it would be forever.

Now Sophia brings them here, on the anniversary of their to-be wedding. She is compelled to spin and dance, seemingly alone. The sun sets, then sleeps under the horizon. Stars spill into the sky like a jar of dropped glitter.

Nobody dances alongside her. She believes herself happy, to see her beloved so joyful despite the ignorance. Sophia's smile made all the light in the world seem dim.

It is well into the night when Sophia stops her wild spinning and surveys the darkness. The field seems suddenly empty; she is struck with a terrible pain from no source she could imagine. A loss, a grief welling up like vomit in her throat. And yet she still did not cry.

Nobody reaches over and wipes away Sophia's tears, even as she herself weeps.

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