The Dr. Ozid Experience
You are running. You don't know why you are running, or what you are doing. In fact, you're acutely aware of the fact that you aren't doing anything, at least, you don't think you are. You must be forgetting something, though you're not sure what. However, memory is a dangerous thing in the Foundation, and you know that whatever you're forgetting would be better remembered. You decide there's only one surefire way to remember what you were doing: Going back to your office.
You run through the tight hallways of Site-96. Though you’ve been working there for years, you can never remember how to get to your office. And ever since Site-94’s conversion passed, the security’s been up, and the manageable space has been down. You narrowly avoid crashing into Laura Knight, the director of Site-96. She yells after you not to run in the halls, but this is an emergency and she’ll probably understand, unless she just fires you right there on the spot, but she’s a pretty reasonable person so you just hope that she lets the issue be.
You make it to your office, and struggle to open the door. After a few embarrassing seconds of fiddling, you remember that Dr. Knight recently upgraded the doors to require ID Cards to open. Flustered, you shuffle through your backpack, swearing under your breath. Another minute goes by before you realize it’s been in your wallet the whole time. You pull out your misspelled ID Card and take a look at it.
Thank you so much to 
hawkguyy for this amazing art!
You wrinkle your nose at the picture of yourself. Not that you have low-self esteem issues, though you do, you just wish the ID photos were taken on a day where you didn’t look so absolutely dead inside, though you are. Being from a different dimension doesn't help either. Waving it in front of the door, you hear a click, turn the knob, and step inside.
Entering the room, you're once again reminded as to why you hate being in here. Papers and sticky-notes line the desk and floor, in the least organized array of information ever seen. Shoving a stack of documents from the Ethics Committee aside, you sit down and turn on your computer. It takes five excruciating minutes to boot up, and another four to load the user selection screen. You haven't downloaded anything malicious, to the best of your knowledge, and you have a fairly good anti-virus software, so it's unclear as to why your computer sucks so much. Finally, you're greeted with the user selection screen. You click "Dr. Ozid", and enter your password: "Jane9513".
ACCESS GRANTED
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Welcome, Doctor Ozid. What would you like to access today?
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SCP-3246 - Nyctophobia: Blind Rapture [+114, 36 notes]
SCP-5855 - Foot by the Fruit [+328, 87 notes]
Collaborators: 
AnActualCrow
███-3955 - Eight Notes [+190, 38 notes]
𝒫 - 𝒫 and the Little Party [+249, 44 notes]
Dr. Michaels - Dr. Michaels is not in Danger [+487, 57 notes]
Collaborators: 
Lt Flops
SCP-4352 - Storytime [+292, 20 notes]
Collaborators: 
Tanhony
SCP-4773-2 - and a stuffed bear [+590, 64 notes]
Collaborators: 
MaliceAforethought
SCP-4098 - S-C-P, Easy As 19-3-16! [+552, 91 notes]
Collaborators: 
Weryllium
SCP-4252 - Beans and Betrayal [+183, 25 notes]
Error… files are missing or corrupt
You shake your head. The memetic effects of whatever you were trying to remember are already kicking in, and you can't remember which file you're supposed to be looking for. Frantically, you type "Give Me More Details" into the console, hoping that it will provide enough information for you to find what you've almost entirely forgotten.
ACCESSING DETAILED FILES
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███-3955 - Eight Notes
- Happy end of 2020, the most insane, terrifying year ever! ███-3955 is my entry for the 9th annual gift exchange and was written for
Placeholder McD. They wanted something that combined music, artificial intelligence, and the Department of Miscommunications. AKA: My three favorite things ever. It features three small sections from three actual songs I've made, one of which I made specifically for this SCP!
SCP-4064 - "It's Not You, It's Us"
- SCP-4064 is a hive-mind, capable of inhabiting six distinct bodies. Two instances of SCP-4064 are currently in Foundation custody, though one is much more compliant than the other. Aside from self-preservation, SCP-4064's primary goal is to use emotional manipulation to make people fall in love with them, and then break their hearts, sending them into a long period of romantic despair.
SCP-4098 - S-C-P, Easy As 19-3-16!
- SCP-4098 is a format screw that I can't be bothered to follow the effects of here because that would be stupid. Also because I couldn't properly credit
Westrin as my Co-Author. The basic premise of SCP-4098 is that it is a conceptual anomaly that causes any information written about it to be confined to the letters "S, C, and P," in that order. The anomaly itself is a thaumiel class, containing another, more dangerous cognitohazard within its conceptual prison.
SCP-4252 - Beans and Betrayal
- SCP-4252 is a wacky article about four objects that produce infinite baked beans constantly. The only way to consistently remove the beans is to utter a poem once a month to summon Lord Jethusent, the zany Bean King/Leprechaun who will stop at nothing to eat his glorious beans. Also, TheVolgun did a reading of it, so go check it out: Beans and Betrayal.
SCP-4352 - Storytime
- SCP-4352 is an SCP about the Big Bad Wolf. Yep, literally the Big Bad Wolf. It presents an entity that is "anti-infohazardous" in that, those who don't know about it are at risk of being affected by it, which is why the Foundation, and an earlier version of the Foundation involving the Grimm Brothers, try to spread stories about the Big Bad Wolf so people can't be affected by it. This was a collab with
Tanhony and as always, a pleasure to write.
Dr. Michaels - Dr. Michaels is not in Danger
- SCP-4428 is another DoMC collab, this time with
Lt Flops. We had a ton of fun writing this, mostly because of how gimmicky and format-screwy it is. The piece is basically a documentation about a researcher, and while it's clear something strange is going on, the header makes it clear that what is going on can't be stated. However, it's not antimemetic. Is Dr. Michaels truly in danger? Go see for yourself.
SCP-4773-2 - and a stuffed bear
- SCP-4773-2 is an SCP about a stuffed bear that floats, steals food, and has weird, indescribable effects. At least, on the surface. In fact, this collab between me and
MaliceAforethought is about an antimemetic child who carries his normal teddy bear with him. However, he can't be perceived by humans, and ends up dying of dehydration when they lock the test chamber indefinitely after not knowing what to do about the bear, when DoMC testing goes nowhere.
𝒫 - 𝒫 and the Little Party
- 𝒫 is a character largely inspired by me and my self-image insecurities, and while the contents of the article are really important to me personally, I think and hope the broadness allows it to speak to people without having to pinpoint exactly what it speaks to as a whole. It's got a lot of threads in it, and though none of them are necessarily the "right answer", they're certainly not wrong.
SCP-5855 - Foot by the Fruit
- A while ago I wrote the beginning of a draft about fruit with human body-parts that appeared to artists who were struggling to find motivation. I made images that I thought were awesome, but couldn't figure out where to take the story. As part of the SCPD January 2021 Draftswap, I handed off the draft to
AnActualCrow who took the ending in a completely different but WAY BETTER direction than I would have thought to do. It's perfect.
Keeping It Chill With Your Homies Down At The SCP Foundation
- Keeping It Chill… is a tale I wrote because I thought "Gee, the Foundation is so good at everything they do… what's something they would suck at?" My first answer: connecting to today's youth. From that stemmed this: A classroom video written in Broken Masquerade to preserve the public image of the Foundation so the youth of the era don't grow up thinking they're a terrible organization. If the video goes as would be expected, however, the kids will instead think the Foundation is a bunch of dumbass old people who have no idea what they like. And… are they wrong?
Once Upon a Big Egg Dreary
- This is a parody of Edgar Allen Poe's famous poem, "The Raven", about SCP-big-egg-j, written by
LordStonefish. Once Upon a Big Egg Dreary recounts a researcher coming into contact with SCP-Big-egg while eating breakfast in a Site kitchen, and chaos ensues. The piece was written for LordStoneFish as part of an unofficial gift swap.
Error Processing Request: Files are missing or corrupt.
Henzoid-Crocket's Proposal
- Henzoid-Crocket's Proposal - "When Day Breaks Up", is a piece about love, deceit, and overall mayhem. This parody of When Day Breaks takes a closer look at relationships, and how not to have them. Follow Researcher Day as she reads through the files of all her past mistakes, before being brought face to face with the last thing she wants to see… her first Ex.
https://twitter.com/Henzoid
- This is my Twitter, where I am far more likely to respond to DMs quickly than on here.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/Henzoid
- This is my YouTube channel, which I rarely use, and when I do, it's always dumb and pointless. I honestly don't know why I'm even including it, other than to make the twitter link feel less lonely.
Your fist tightens. You're not an idiot, at least you don't think you are, but you are absolutely certain that you still haven't found the document you know you have to find. You know you didn't write any more documents, however, so it's unclear where else you could possibly look. You type into your console "Open Notes". Maybe, just maybe, you left a note for yourself that could aid in this conundrum. The computer pauses for a brief moment, before a large block of text appears on your screen.
ACCESSING NOTES
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Hi, I'm Henzoid, an SCP author who can hopefully give you some enjoyment out of my weird, nonsensical ideas. Though I started reading the SCP wiki in 2012, I didn't start writing or even make an account until early February, 2019. My first scp Idea, which I quickly learned was not up to par, was a floating ball of light that caused stress to whoever it was following. The idea had emotional and comedic presence, but I eventually scrapped it to work on what is now my first successful scp: SCP-4252, "Beans and Betrayal. I had been lucky enough to crit 
Weryllium's donut scp, SCP-4759, and was heavily inspired by his combination of absurd, food humor and fantastical characters. From there, i found inspiration in the popular image of a clock with baked beans in it, and originally, I even used it as the SCP-4252-A1 image, but soon found out it wasn't copyright compliant. Taking matters into my own hands, I did the only thing a rational human would do in that situation: I bought the cheapest clock I could find on amazon, dismantled it, filled it with beans, put it back together, and posed it all over my house, taking pictures and cleaning up bean spillage. Eventually, I had finished SCP-4252, and was overwhelmed by how quickly it took off. It's not nearly my most popular or upvoted scp, but it will always hold a special place as my first venture into the scp universe.
You're incredibly frustrated at this point. Nothing makes you angrier than a problem that you can't solve, especially with something you are pretty sure is memetic, although you're still not 100% certain you know exactly what counts as memetic, and what counts as just "mind-affecting". Regardless, you rack your brain for any sliver of memory, any clue as to what the hell you could be forgetting. Lost, unable to think of an answer, you mash "WHAT AM I FORGETTING?" into your console. You fully expect it to return an error or some other form of unhelpful result. Much to your surprise, however, one single file shows up on the screen.
ACCESSING WHAT AM I FORGETTING?
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Hello Doctor Ozid, my name is Connor, and I'm an entity that is at the moment infecting the vast majority of Site-96 staff members. I pride myself on the consumption of knowledge, and secrecy. Once you know I exist, you have very little time to act before completely forgetting the mere fact of my presence. It is through this clever little disguise I've built that I can continue to steal your knowledge and hopefully make my way into the highest seat of authority in your foundation. Aside from you, the only person left in your base of operations is the site director herself, Doctor Laura Knight. Luckily, I doubt you'll have any way of stopping me, seeing as you only have about twenty seconds before I completely wipe any semblance of my existence from your mind. Good luck Doctor Ozid, though I very much doubt luck will do anything for you now.
You're in shock. How… how could such a dangerous cognitohazard get in? However, the thought is short lived, as you run out the door, sprinting down the corridor. You call out for Dr. Knight, but to no avail. It seems she must be preoccupied with some other matter. Frantically, you call again, increasing your speed. You are running. You don't know why you are running, or what you are doing. In fact, you're acutely aware of the fact that you aren't doing anything, at least, you don't think you are. You must be forgetting something, though you're not sure what. However, memory is a dangerous thing in the Foundation, and you know that whatever you're forgetting would be better remembered. You decide there's only one surefire way to remember what you were doing: Going back to your office.
