Goldbaker-Reinz Hub

The following material is largely adapted from Goldbaker-Reinz's marketing material. Our experts have done their best to annotate it. Most of the annotations are mine, but in some cases I've passed it to a subject matter specialist.

Happy investigating.

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Welcome to the SCP-6987 Containment Team!

SCP-6987 is our internal designation for the entirety of the Foundation's contractual ties to Goldbaker-Reinz Ltd., the largest and most prominent provider of insurance services to major players in the anomalous world.

Our relationship is complicated. We pay them, and they give us services. We could in-house at least a third of the benefits they give us, and quite possibly more, but if we did that:

  1. We'd add a good bit of RAISA overhead.
  2. We'd redirect valuable resources that could be better used elsewhere.
  3. We'd lose our biggest source of information on what makes Goldbaker-Reinz tick.

The following material is largely adapted from Goldbaker-Reinz's marketing material. Our experts have done their best to annotate it. Most of the annotations are mine, but in some cases I've passed it to a subject matter specialist.

Happy investigating.

Dr. Ezekiel Yang
Department of Financial Esoterica

And this is what we're dealing with. 99% of what everyone needs to know about Goldbaker-Reinz is covered in SCP-6987. Everything else on this page is the other 1%.

— E. Yang

SCP-6987

Your Legally Entitled Coverage Provided by Goldbaker-Reinz Ltd.


Goldbaker-Reinz is uniquely equipped to help with the sorts of challenges the Foundation faces every day. As a full voting member of the GOC's Council of 108, they're very familiar with the anomalous, but they're contractually bound to remain nonpartisan in intergroup contracts. Goldbaker-Reinz is proud to service the SCP Foundation, nearly all GOC affiliates, the Horizon Initiative, and many more.

Related Files

All SCPs

All Other Works


Writing Goldbaker-Reinz

So you want to write Goldbaker-Reinz

First off, awesome! The first thing you should do if you haven't already is read SCP-6987. The remainder of this hub exists to fill in other details.

For emphasis:
Read SCP-6987 as a crash course on Goldbaker-Reinz.

If that doesn't answer a question, this hub tries to cover everything else.

Contrary to the appearance of this hub, Goldbaker-Reinz isn't that bogged down in the weeds of how the actual insurance business works. It is firmly set in the fantastical, mainly because it could not reasonably exist in the real world any more than the veil or benevolent billionaires and stakeholder-driven corporations could.

The vibe of Goldbaker-Reinz is a smug, intricate, balanced, ultimately positive for humanity Rube Goldberg machine. The models and inputs are unknowable and impossible to process. From a certain point of view, this is even scarier than the Factory or Marshall, Carter, & Dark. Goldbaker-Reinz appears to be on the side of good for now, and it certainly benefits its partners — but for how long, and why? Outsiders simply cannot tell.

Dos and Don'ts

  • Goldbaker-Reinz is "fair". It largely does not take glee in being the bad guys. The wording of their policies should be exacting but generous, but the enforcement of the policies should be exacting. Their policies, as written, should have almost no wiggle room in favor of elaborate explanations of what is and what isn't covered, erring on the side of more coverage for greater cost. But when the time comes to enforce that, they will enforce to the letter of the contracts.
  • Goldbaker-Reinz should seem very smug about how fair it is. Its coverage is valuable, comprehensive, and generous; its risk models and data are in-depth, far-ranging, and often extremely accurate; it will never miss a chance to emphasize these facts. Goldbaker-Reinz would put its name next to the Foundation and the Global Occult Coalition as a force for good in maintaining consensus normalcy despite its actions being much lesser (see "Services and Capabilities" or below)
  • Don't make them the protagonists. Goldbaker-Reinz will almost never proactively fight for a better world but will provide support for those who do. Direct intervention is the place of the Manna Charitable Foundation or the Global Occult Coalition or the Foundation.
    • The one exception is discreet assassinations of insurance fraudsters.
  • Goldbaker-Reinz's goals do not include continued growth or high quarterly profits. Their goals also do not include a better world for the sake of a better world. They only want to survive and to continue providing risk services.
    • Goldbaker wants this. Reinz might complain about it, but won't do anything to fight it.
    • Goldbaker-Reinz will rarely interfere in a major active breach of normalcy. They will provide advisory opinions, and after the fact will honor any policies in place and provide logistical support to restore normalcy, but ultimately they are reactive, not proactive.
  • Get basic finance and statistics jargon and concepts right. Consult Wikipedia, Investopedia or ask LORDXVNVLORDXVNV if necessary.
  • Goldbaker-Reinz does not issue stock, any more than Marshall, Carter, & Dark does. All decisions ultimately answer to Goldbaker. There's a board of directors, but they are not chosen based on ownership of public equity. Therefore, Goldbaker-Reinz does not have "shareholders."
  • Goldbaker will never make deals with Dark of Marshall, Carter, & Dark. By extension, Goldbaker-Reinz will not make deals with Marshall, Carter, & Dark. Goldbaker is more than happy to poach people from Marshall, Carter, & Dark, but on a corporate level Goldbaker has a deep animus towards Dark and any companies associated with it.

If any of this is unclear, please feel free to message LORDXVNVLORDXVNV with questions or for crit.


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Goldbaker-Reinz is operated, unsurprisingly, by Goldbaker and Reinz. I've met Goldbaker once, and Reinz at least three.

Goldbaker is an enigma, and our best information is the results of espionage.

Reinz is a narcissist who loves talking about himself. His bio is from the GR website, and I think he wrote it himself.

— E. Yang


Everything in the following section is from an incident where we called in our contracts with Goldbaker-Reinz, and they provided. That could've taken the form of services, recompense, or clarification on information we observed from our subscriptions to their data feeds.

I've got a few contacts in other GOC groups, a few friends in the esoteric practices of the big insurers. They all get a similar profile from GR showing exactly what they've helped on in recent memory.

They like to remind us all how useful they are.

— E. Yang


People who work for Goldbaker-Reinz are in a weird place.

Less lucrative than Marshall, Carter, & Dark or the hundred other prop shops and subveil hedge funds or even banks like Fauste. Utterly milquetoast compared to running with the Serpent's Hand or dedicating yourself to AWCY. A hell of a lot more bureaucratic bullshit — veil breach and import regulations, extremely specific free port bylaws, extremely unpredictable markets — compared to working in a nice, normal finance firm in the regular world.

There's a very specific kind of person who subjects themselves to that kind of job, and it's the type of person we can recruit.

We don't even fall under non-compete clauses!

— E. Yang


If you remember nothing about Goldbaker-Reinz's geopolitics and relationships, remember this:

  • They are part of the Global Occult Coalition

Yes, there's nuance to that. Not all the GOC are trigger-happy murder maniacs. But the parts that aren't are protected by the parts that are. And the trained killers really, really like their Goldbaker-Reinz health insurance options.

So diplomatically? Treat them like the GOC.

For some other reason that we're still digging into, they view their relationship with the Manna Charitable Foundation as one of their most important ones. It makes sense when you hear about it, but it's very unclear just what they get from each other. My hunch is that it's a whim of Mx. Goldbaker themselves.

Dr. Jay Everwood
Site-55
GoI Specialist


And now we're digging into the nitty-gritty of Goldbaker-Reinz's business, taken straight from the 600-page marketing brochure they send to sophisticated clients.

Let me be abundantly clear about the following bit — most of you will never have to know this. There's no test on this. Nobody is keeping track if you know the difference between insurance and reinsurance and how Goldbaker-Reinz gets involved with both. Nobody is keeping track of if you know exactly where Goldbaker-Reinz gets its ridiculous amount of money and raw material. Things like the GoReChaos Data Feed only come up if you work in Financial Esoterica, and things like Goldbaker-Reinz's rumored covert assassination squad come up even more rarely.

Seriously. Save yourself the headache and skip or skim this bit. It'll be here when you need it.'

But if you're part of Financial Esoterica I expect you to read this in full.

— E. Yang

It strains credulity, doesn't it? How can an insurance company actually be good? The Foundation barely even manages that, and it's in our mission statement.

And yet they do, and people trust them. Something like 15% of peacefully resolved anomalous disputes get arbitrated by Goldbaker-Reinz. That may not sound like a lot, but of the remaining "peacefully resolved" disputes, 70% are actually euphemistically described stalemate. They're given an absurd amount of trust. It's only natural to ask — why?

This is what I think.

Goldbaker-Reinz does not need to engage in predatory sales practices because it has almost completely captured the anomalous insurance market. The firm understands that this status could easily be transitory. It has captured the economy because its service is superior and high quality. That the company is run by the manifestation of Risk Management themselves is irrelevant; companies, if run poorly, can still die, no matter how strong their leadership is.

Goldbaker-Reinz cares about the welfare of the human race. This does not translate to caring for the welfare of individual humans. It insures world governments and mundane insurers because these groups are generally less equipped to deal with large scale paranormal breaches endogenously, but their collapse would cause serious damage to the normal function of the world. It insures paratechnological corporations because robust risk management systems prevent unnecessary and stupid risks that could lead to insolvency and proliferation of dangerous technologies. It insures the Foundation and the GOC because should these organizations fail, the modern world will end, which would be bad for the economy.

The fail state of an insurance company is if enough of its liabilities come due, and it doesn't have the ability to pay up. For Goldbaker-Reinz, the odds of this happening are highest at the end of the world.

But ultimately, at the end of the day, Goldbaker-Reinz doesn't build. Goldbaker-Reinz picks up the pieces.

— E. Yang


Goldbaker-Reinz shares knowledge and risk across the multiverse. We don't know the full scope of their limitations. They operate parallel to us, and their policies cover us out there.

Multiversal Goldbaker-Reinz groups maintain a healthy level of interdimensional trade. It's a system fairly similar to our own trade compacts with alternate Foundations: Sometimes, one universe needs raw materials that are in abundance in another. Now, what we do at the Foundation is in a legal gray area because of multiversal import/export quotas, but sometimes it's worth skirting those laws if it means not crashing the economy of middle America. Goldbaker-Reinz, however, gets to set those laws as part of the GOC so they get free reign.

They claim they have strict internal controls so they'll never have a prolonged surplus or deficit of material goods between universes. We claim the same thing about our own trades and that sure works great.

Some universes, however, are multiversal isolates. From what rare glimpses we've got into them, Goldbaker-Reinz still exists in some of them. Weaker, maybe, but they still exist. I think their operations have to be more limited. They can't rely on communication and trade with their counterparts, so they have to use local divination and keep a tighter belt around their waists. That'd be something to ask Zeke Yang about though.

But whenever we can see them, there's something poetic and constant. No matter how weak or diminished they are, if they've been reduced to an emaciated stick figure, they'll still be at it. Balancing risks.

Maybe one day they'll rest.

Dr. Tristan Bailey
Multi-U Department

Dr. Trevor Bailey
Multi-U Department

And the final bit. How they interact with everyone else.

You don't need to know any of this until you need to. Just remember that the Goldbaker-Reinz is part of the GOC and you've got 90% of it. Everwood's right on that.

But if a question catches your eye elsewhere in your investigations — why do they help mercenaries, if they think they're the good guys? How do mundane insurance companies survive K-Class scenarios? What do the IMF and World Bank and Marshall, Carter, and Dark think about all of this? Do they fund the Chaos Insurgency? — well, it's here if you need it.

Thanks to Dr. Everwood for helping put this together.

God knows it was like pulling teeth.

— E. Yang

Anomalous Relationships of Goldbaker-Reinz

Major Contacts

Paratechnological and Paranatural Corporations (e.g. Anderson Robotics, Arcadia, Ambrose Restaurants, Wondertainment, Prometheus Labs (defunct))

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  • The Cash Flows of paratechnological and paranatural corporations are largely under-the-table. For purposes of normalcy preservation, mundane insurers would only be able to view highly redacted or doctored financial statements produced by such corporations. The exact process and risk profile of Telekill synthesis, for example, cannot be disclosed cleanly in a financial disclosure. As a completely Veiled insurer, Goldbaker-Reinz is not subject to the same secrecy considerations as other potential insurers.
  • The field of insurance behind the veil is extremely limited. The Foundation is known to have an in-house solution, as are other paranatural parties, but Goldbaker-Reinz dwarfs its competitors in both scale and reach. It is unique positioned to take on the extremely idiosyncratic risks of paranatural corporations and mitigate them against each other. In the absence of sub-veil anti-monopoly regulation, no other parties are able to challenge it.
  • By insuring paratechnological corporations, Goldbaker-Reinz relieves some of the operational risk of said companies, freeing them to take on greater levels of innovative risk while reducing their likelihood of pursuing avenues that may generate existential risk out of desperation to remain solvent. Conversely, these companies provide a valuable revenue stream to Goldbaker-Reinz. The relationship is symbiotic, should they choose to enter it.

Anomalous Private Military Corporations (e.g. Valravn, Myrmidon, Primordial, ARGUS, "SPC", etc)

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  • Goldbaker-Reinz understands that those who dedicate their lives to war may still have families that will grieve them, and is proud to offer group term life insurance and medical coverage to Private Military Corporations active primarily behind the veil, both for acts of war or exposure to anomalous or esoteric phenomena including exotic radiation, magic, local reality distortion.
  • Goldbaker-Reinz will not offer new policies nor honor existing policies for PMCs engaged in active warfare with United Nations Member States or Global Occult Coalition Observing Parties, nor will it service mundane PMCs, as those do not operate in a way that requires compliance with GOC Second Mission "Concealment" criteria.
  • Goldbaker-Reinz is willing to hire PMCS for boots-on-the-ground risk analysis of their particular geopolitical expertise.
  • Goldbaker-Reinz does not cover damages incurred in war with the Old Gods.

Governments

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  • Government entities like the Unusual Incidents Unit, Pentagram, or ORIA are covered by their equivalents of Federal Employees' Group Life Insurance (FEGLI) or Medical Services Security Organization (MSSO) (Sazman Tamin-e Khadamate Darmani) for life insurance.
  • Goldbaker-Reinz markets elective insurance to individuals of these groups for various kinds of anomalous risks to reduce the economic footprint associated with Veiled activities should various governments attempt to provide coverage in-house.
  • Although these groups are more vulnerable to geopolitical realities, Goldbaker-Reinz has the right to ignore international sanctions to honor contracts in good-faith. It is generally understood by most parties that would enforce such sanctions that the coverage provided is a necessary preventative measure. The Foundation and Coalition largely turn a blind eye, as they also operate in locales under international sanctions.

Mundane Insurers

  • Most insurance companies have fairly robust loss models, but they assume that once-in-a-generation catastrophic events will truly be only once-in-a-generation. Goldbaker-Reinz assumes that if such catastrophic events occur, they will occur all at once; by using state-of-the-art predictive paratechnology and thaumaturgy, it is able to tailor the coverage it offers to minimize normalcy disruption and Veil preservation.
  • Goldbaker-Reinz specializes in reinsurance for risks related to paranatural phenomena. In situations of total collapse, it will work directly with normalcy preservation agencies to try and restore a form of consensus reality, but for any lesser disruptions it shall provide coverage to mundane insurers.
  • In essence, Goldbaker-Reinz steps in to provide coverage to agencies and individuals that mundane insurers cannot; furthermore, when those insurers themselves are under strain from causes outside of the norm, Goldbaker-Reinz will provide support.

The World Bank

  • The World Bank is composed of five independent agencies: International Bank for Reconstruction and Development, International Development Association, International Finance Corporation, Multilateral Investment Guarantee Agency, International Center for Settlement of Investment Disputes.
  • The World Bank's claimed goal is to reduce global poverty through long-term reduction efforts. On a high level, it does this by providing financial support through loans and grants to countries no one else will lend to, contingent on policy adoption via sovereign guarantees. On a practical level, it helps countries achieve these goals through policy advice and technical assistance, political risk assurance, and arbitration services.
  • The World Bank has extremely limited power behind the Veil, and most of its technical specialists are not authorized to know about the paranatural; Furthermore, the United States of America has veto power over major decisions of the World Bank. As a result, Goldbaker-Reinz provides similar services to entities behind the veil, but its stipulations are tied to risk management. As such, any project financing it provides is contingent on adherence to the GOC's Fivefold Mission regardless of the personal agendas of any staff.
  • The World Bank's existence enables Goldbaker-Reinz to have almost no operations in the consensus normal.

The International Monetary Fund

  • The primary goals of the IMF are to ensure the stability of the international monetary system, encourage trade and economic growth, and discourage policy that would harm economic growth. To do so, it monitors the macroeconomic trends of member countries and offers policy recommendations, issues short-term loans to countries in debt, and provides technical and administrative aid to government officials in member countries. It is the global lender of last resort — an entity that will issue loans to parties that no one else will loan to.
  • The IMF recommends market-oriented solutions (that assume the benefits of free markets). These policies are often misaligned with local economic and cultural conditions, and are not customized to local needs. As with the World Bank, the United States of America has veto power over wide-ranging changes to IMF policy.
    • Goldbaker-Reinz measures similar economic data as the IMF, though more specialized for the paranatural; Goldbaker-Reinz is more concerned with the restoration of consensus normalcy, though the stability of the international economy is included within that. Goldbaker-Reinz occasionally adopts a similar policy advisory function as the IMF, but its recommendations are oriented towards reducing the risk of catastrophic paranatural collapse, taking into account endemic expertise if relevant. Occasionally, this brings it in conflict with the IMF's recommendations. Nations, if caught between two recommendations, generally side with the IMF because it gives them money.

Minor Contacts

Three Moons Initiative

  • Goldbaker-Reinz endeavors to maintain cordial relations with the Three Moons Initiative to ease in delivery of afterlife-assignment protection and application of extreme extradimensional force.

Oneiroi groups

  • Similarly, Goldbaker-Reinz endeavors to maintain cordial relationships with friendly Oneiroi Entities such as Oneiroi West in order to provide coverage to customers while in Oneiric realms. However, due to the highly unpredictable meaning of risk in the realms, they do not offer coverage to primarily Oneiric entities.
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