Legal Designations: Dr. Horatio Gifts and Dr. Eleanor Gentle
Positions: Researchers, Site-11
Clearance Levels: Level 3
Works in Progress: See attached drafts
An Interview with Dr. Gifts:
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Gifts: An interview? Really Ellie? (Looks down.) Where did you find an actual tape recorder? And why do you have a microphone?
Dr. Gentle: (Brandishing an unplugged microphone.) How else are they going to know who you are if I don't interview you? Besides, it's proper protocol.
Dr. Gifts: I have never known you to prioritise proper protocol.
Dr. Gentle: Gifts, just go along with it. (Turns on the tape recorder.) This'll be easy. Now, how long have you been working with the Foundation?
Dr. Gifts: Six and a half years longer than you.
Dr. Gentle: (Folding her arms.) That's not a real answer.
Dr. Gifts: This isn't a real interview.
Dr. Gentle: Touché. Your field of expertise?
Dr. Gifts: Theoretical thaumaturgy. Never could get the hang of the practical side. Also, biology.
Dr. Gentle: Why did you join the Foundation?
Dr. Gifts: I wanted to know the truth. Couldn't resist going down the rabbit hole when the opportunity arose.
Dr. Gentle: Your astrological star sign?
Dr. Gifts: You know that stuff is pseudo-science, right? Besides, you already know this; we have the same birthday.
Dr. Gentle: Your job literally involves studying magic. Pseudo-science actually works around here. Also, that's Gemini for the record. Hmm… Favourite movie?
Dr. Gifts: Inception. Obviously.
Dr. Gentle: Let's go deeper. Biggest failure?
Dr. Gifts: (Flinches.) That's classified, Ellie.
Dr. Gentle: What keeps you up at night?
Dr. Gifts: Other than your snoring from across the hall? (Pauses.) That's also classified.
Dr. Gentle: Favourite memory?
(Gifts blushes and looks down.)
Dr. Gentle: Well? Is that classified too?
Dr. Gifts: (Looks her in the eyes.) Meeting you.
Dr. Gentle: (Smiling and blushing slightly.) I do believe that'll be enough for the records. Now… (Fiddles with the tape recorder.) I'm going to need you to provide more information about your favourite memory.
Dr. Gifts: (Smiles warmly.) As you wish.
[END LOG]
An Interview with Dr. Gentle:
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Gentle: Is that my tape recorder in your pocket Gifts, or are you just happy to see me?
Dr. Gifts: You subjected me to this yesterday, it's your turn now.
Dr. Gentle: Very well. (Tilting her head sideways.) Be sure to get my good side.
Dr. Gifts: I… fine. (Pulls out and turns on the tape recorder.) How long have you been working with the Foundation?
Dr. Gentle: Six years, five months and twelve days less than you have.
Dr. Gifts: (sighs) Why don't I hate you?
Dr. Gentle: I assume that's an actual question? Am I not the girl of your dreams?
Dr. Gifts: It was meant to be a rhetorical question. Now, your area of specialisation?
Dr. Gentle: Retrochronology and retrocausality. With minor studies in practical thaumaturgy.
Dr. Gifts: You can't be studied in practical thaumaturgy if you can't actually do magic, Ellie.
Dr. Gentle: That's why I said minor studies. Come on, get to the juicy questions.
Dr. Gifts: As you wish. What gives you the creeps?
Dr. Gentle: The baby burning statue freaks me out. Also, I'm a bit afraid of Santa.
Dr. Gifts: Favourite film?
Dr. Gentle: IT.
Dr. Gifts: The cinematic one, or the Tim Curry one?
Dr. Gentle: (Pretends to look offended.) The good one.
Dr. Gifts: Favourite actor?
Dr. Gentle: Sir Ian McKellen. (Pretends to swoon) He can quote Shakespeare at me any day he likes.
Dr. Gifts: Hmm. Biggest fear?
Dr. Gentle: Ask the question properly.
Dr. Gifts: (Sighs.) What's your boggart?
Dr. Gentle: I… (Pauses for a second.) Losing you.
Dr. Gifts: (Looks down and speaks quietly.) Favourite memory?
Dr. Gentle: Meeting you. (Reaches out to hold his hand.)
Dr. Gifts: (Takes her hand.) I think that they've seen enough of us for today, Ellie.
Dr. Gentle: (Smiling.) Agreed. This was more fun when I was doing the interviewing. (Pulls out microphone.)
Dr. Gifts: Why do you still have that?
[END LOG]
Articles Written By GentleGifts
SCP-4001 - Alexandria Eternal - Rating: +1147, Comments: 105
The contents of the books represent the absolute truth and history of the individuals contained within.
SCP-4042 - Somebody to Love - Rating: +131, Comments: 17
"At least I'll always remember the sound of her crying."
SCP-4043 - Gaia - Rating: +492, Comments: 45
"It'll be bad, and we'll see a lot of complex species go extinct. Probably including us."
SCP-5052 - The Hand that Mocked and the Heart that Fed - Rating: +158, Comments: 21
"The Words of Truth are a lie."
Tales Written By GentleGifts
Alexandria Burning - Rating: +363, Comments: 14
In the darkness, she heard a voice speak: 'No. But I will remember you.'
Family Matters - Rating: +26, Comments: 6
"I've always wanted to meet your folks. Are they anything like you?"
Other Pieces Written By GentleGifts
SCP-4001-J - Life, Read Right to Left - Rating: +96, Comments: 13
Though we'd all feel a lot better if this thing that will kill us all if it burns or floods wasn't located underground in the most earthquake-prone nation on Earth.
To Swear An Oath - Rating: +26, Comments: 8
I do accept that I will be a judge and a jury to them that I shall keep,
But not an executioner.
Collaborations and Contributions
If You Are Reading This - Rating: +164, Comments: 43
If you're reading this, then I'm dead.
A small addition to the collaboration between Jacob Conwell, djkaktus, Zyn, Decibelles, and Roget.
r/SCPDeclassifications
SCP-089 - Tophet
Sacrificing one person for the good of the many is straightforward enough, yes?
SCP-1342 - To the Makers of Music
Their final message to the beings that unjustly and selfishly killed them was a mesage of love and peace.
SCP-4001 - Alexandria Eternal
This feels like something out of a Series I SCP, and is pretty cliched, but it's all adding towards the idea that this anomaly cannot leave Foundation control, regardless of the cost.
SCP-4231 - The Montauk House, Part One
Here's the mindset of our abuser. She feels like she's owed this, like she's owed his body. He is hers.
SCP-4231 - The Montauk House, Part Two
They don't really care if they are innocent, and didn't yet deserve to die, because to leave them unchecked would be catastrophic.
SCP-309-J - how do i delete articles
After all, we were all noobs who had only read 173 and 682 at some point, and we should remember the joy and wonder we had at that time.
Author Commentaries
SCP-4001: This article has to be one of the biggest flukes/miracles on the site. First time article from an author who signed up the day before for the 4K contest? Check. An article which received much of its formative feedback from reddit? Check. A rambling collection of cliches and awkward ideas? Check. Went through multiple revisions, with edits and addenda added and subtracted through the contest? Check.
Yet it found a following, and ended up pulling eighth in the contest, and is currently fourth overall for Series V. It is a long article intent on exploring each of the implications of its core concept. People seem to like it (especially on reddit), for the idea that the Library kindly watches over us, and for the idea that we could all be annihilated by it with the slightest mistake.
This is certainly going to be the article I'm known best for, and will probably be my most successful article ever. I'm very happy with how it turned out and how well it did.
SCP-4042: This actually predates Alexandria. Writing this is what prompted me to consider joining the site. Like Alexandria, it started up on reddit since signups were disabled over the big rainbow fiasco. It has gone through a lot of revisions, but always stayed true to the two original emotional prompts; the first being feelings of rejection and loneliness, the second being the sleep-denying thought of what if I'm not real? It started as a reality bending effect, then had a brief stint as 4021 before crashing and burning, after which I removed every trace of Humes to simplify the mechanics (literally a case of the author going "Fuck It. It works because of magic.").
It also serves as in introduction to Gifts and Gentle. (I will note that my username is derived from these two, rather than the other way around.) Gifts is more-or-less a self insert. Unlike other self inserts, I wasn't interesting in writing him as an action hero, or an alpha male, or even a comedic figure. Somehow, I ended up writing romance of all things on the stereotypically horror site.
I'm very proud of this one. It hits every emotional beat I wanted it to.
SCP-4043: This one started out as a 001 proposal, and was written to a scale and format appropriate for such an article. The basic idea was 'what if we killed Mother Nature?', and it grew from there into an outline for four individual pages, representing the evolution of the entity. The framing structure came later, and it remains one of the more carefully worded things I've produced. There's a need to set everything up subtly before the payoff, or the whole piece fails to work.
On a meta level, this piece also serves as an acknowledgement of the real world problem that is global warming, climate change and the sixth Mass Extinction, and that such an issue should render all other isuues moot and pointless.
Alexandria Burning: The last thing that I wrote into Alexandria, over a fortnight after it was posted, was the final addendum, hinting at a terrible past for the archives. I saw theories thrown around, and eventually decided that it was a story that deserved telling. Or at least clarifying. I toyed with different reasons for the archives to burn- being direct caught by the blast, a fit of madness, an accident- and in the end decided that the most painful and bittersweet story that I could tell would be between the last woman alive, and the archive itself. Having the Watcher be the one to pull the plug on their timeline, and to do it in order to save the world for someone that didn't even exist, felt like it had enough emotional weight. The beginning ties directly into the text of 4001, showing us how the first person (at least, as Alexandria considers it) came across the archives, and how Alexandria is responsible for a key point in our development. You can find her name in the list of early texts in 4001.
Family Matters: This one was written in a day for the 2018 HalloweenCon. I saw the contest, figured it gave a nice opportunity to write about Gentle and Gifts, and thus put down and coldposted the first tale featuring the two of them. I rather like how it turned out. It's just a little slice of life between two people who are very different to each other, but don't ever let that come between them.
SCP-4001-J: Oh boy, this mess. After spending eight weeks with Alexandria, going through dozens of little tweaks, and checking its score and positioning regularly, and then it finally going up on the mainsite, I needed to distance myself from it.
So, I wrote this hot mess to spoof the shit out of it. It's a collection of bad jokes about anime and Japanese culture in general wrapped around the basic framework of Alexandria. Somehow, it didn't get downvoted into oblivion, and people rather enjoyed it. There's even someone on reddit who included it in their list of their favourite articles.
I worry about that person.
To Swear An Oath: Back when I was at uni, I spent a lot of time around theatre folk. One of the things that we did every year was a Valentine's raffle during the orientation show rehearsals. We'd get assigned names, Kris Kringle style, and had to get the person a Valentine. After getting a pretty meh Valentine, I decided that this kind of thing deserved effort.
So I taught myself how to write sonnets, and wrote love poetry for a girl I had no interest in wooing purely on the principle that people deserve to get Valentines with effort put into them. I wrote a few more sonnets over the years for various women (they haven't worked yet) and various occasions. When I found some poetry on the site, I sat down and wrote this piece. It didn't take very long, and only had feedback from one person, but it turned out pretty well.
Trivia: the form this is written in is known as a Petrarchan sonnet (rhyming pattern abba cddc etc), which is distinct from the Elizabethan sonnets (rhyming pattern abab cdcd etc) that most people would recognise.
