DolphinSlugchugger's Author Page
hi my name is dolphin and welcome to my poetry corner. please listen to this music for me. it’s good.
i dont have any fancy css or anything.
sorry.
anyway. the general format of this author page is as follows:
1. poem title is a link
2. poem is about the link
3. theres author commentary if you click the last line of poem
0. there are some headers if you want.
its there.
anyway.
SCPS
SOLOS
SCP-2755, Brevity of Writ
in jest, i find
my heart, beat hard
this was my very first SCP, made for the short works contest in an hour and a half (a buzzer beater, submitted at 11:59).
my intent with this one was to capture the oh-too-common phenomenon of jokes being a façade for broken folks within. but, if I'm honest, it mostly turned out to be an excuse to write some puns.
don't really have much else to say about this one, other than if i ever rewrite it, i'd make it better. lmao.
SCP-1168, A Highly Immature and Completely Unofficial Parody
exquisite
the fire
that burns our tongue;
divine
the flames
that scorch our flesh;
the poison's deadly pepper
the iron, branding hide—
sanctifying passion, come
i said in the author page that i wrote this because i hate scp-1800. and it's right. i hate it with a passion. 1800 is of four articles i wish gone; you may find the others elsewhere.
this was the namer of Jude Kriyot. jude for patron saint of lost causes, kriyot for the birthplace of Judas the Betrayer. he fills the second role here, as betrayer. but he also seeks to make up for his betrayal.
there's a beautiful declassified on this one, which i wholeheartedly recommend. it only got one thing missing, and that one is one i'll never reveal.
SCP-4166, (Former) Teenage Succubus
holy water burn me
stake of mine strike true
with innocence arrested
ORIGINAL BLURB:
lmao. you can probably sense a theme here.
166 is the second of the four articles i wish gone. this was originally intended as a total rewrite for it to take its slot, but ended up being posted in this one as an alt-universe version.
i might end up rewriting it sometime to make it better. its reception as of yet is not that great.
anyway. i'd, uh. rather not talk about this one much. let's move on.
EDIT 2022:
This is the most grave reminder of the original 166 at this point. It got rewritten to be nicer, and we're all richer for this. Maybe someday I'll delete this. Maybe.
3183
what are we, but the
somethings in the back of our minds
i wrote this in the immediate aftermath of reading SCP-4231.
if you've been following the pattern, you can probably tell the last two articles i want erased. its a bit disingenuous to say that i hate all of 4231, but i hate one very, very particular section, enough to have the entire thing spoiled for me.
i aimed, primarily, to capture as best i could the feelings of dissociation i had. and also i love poetry.
one thing i should note is that it probably comes across that my opinions of dissociation are, well, a bit weird. i treat it here like a friend; i know most hate it. but i find its presence to be a net positive for me. that bleeds through in the writing of it.
SCP-4070, Just Something He Thinks About
there's really no deeper meaning behind this one other than i thought it was fucking hilarious to write, so i wrote it.
SCP-4955 KNIFE
I found the truth
through gas' fire;
it shimmers in God's light
But truth will never set me free—
SCP-4830, Head Like a Hole
Hard to be a human
Hard to give a shit
Bullet to the temple
this was written while i was heavily fucking dissociating off the back of disillusionment with writing. i wanted something which truly communicated how i was feeling, how my head hurt, how i felt like i was hollowing myself out for Arte.
and then i got distracted by something qntm said in #site19, something about how using addenda doesn't truly adhere to the spirit of the format, and that got me thinking if I could shave even the description off and still tell a story.
and hey, it's still up. and it's positive. so that's worth something.
i might make an 001 based off the raw emotion i set out to capture. that's in the future though.
COLLABS
SCP-2721, Eli and Lyris
lyris
they are one grotesque amalgam of flesh
she is a horrorterror of tissues
i am the eldritch fuckup
"lovecrafts shitstain" medium: asspaper
originally written by
kinchtheknifeblade and partially rewritten by her consent.
i love these gay alien robots.
kinch's responsible for most of the eli dialogue. i only affected syntax more or less to make their speech pattern more rigid and "alien", meaning all sentences are started with a noun or pronoun without exception.
lyris was really overhauled by me, and the main reason i took up rewriting it. love this funky little alien girl. i was in high school at the time and tapped into those fuckin cliché dysphoria blues to give her my soul, and i think it worked pretty damn well.
what the fuck is homestuck, though?
SCP-ℸp♡9, - or, KTE-6561-Black, or, dolphinslugchugger and scarhaver's GAW-1 proposal, or, 8008132, or, Our Friend Who Lives By The Lake, or, The Lake, or, A Very Important Question, or, The Reason We Did Something New This Time, or, Go Big or Go Home
Why does blood, not stone, run through your veins?
If you were to find a berry in the woods, would you eat it?
If you were to find a stream, would you drink of it?
Be still.
Breathe in.
As you know yourself,
as you know these answers,
hands down one of my favorite things I've ever had the pleasure of working on. 
scarhaver was my coauthor and i was positively delighted when it asked me to help finish it.
i was responsible for a fair bit of the reworking of mr. destiny's dialogue, a fair bit of overhaul on silas greenmanwalking's logs, and harmpit's section.
pretty much everything else? all scarhaver.
and its wicked fucking good. please read it.
SCP-4405, Time Ends on a Fridays
Our legacy,
Our heritage:
OthellotheCat was responsible for the first dialogue bits and the entire rest of it. I only really wrote the dialogue about what it means, and also the ambient dialogue. Oh, and i also photoshopped the picture.
it's good.
TALES
fuck there are so many of these god damn things. theres so so many. im so tired.
im gonna go to my default of haikus for most of these.
Alto Clef Jr.: Fins of the Father
As his father was
He rises from the ashes
written for the shitposting contest in 2016 i think? this was my very first tale i ever wrote, and i'd written the first bits nonironically a year or so before the contest started. all the rest after the slip was completely fresh.
it doesn't really hold up to my standards today but it's mildly amusing so i keep it up.
the genesis of Alto Clef Jr., aka Agent Pocket Ukulele, aka Buckchamp McFuckmeup, aka the Goose Cowboy, aka Asrael, The Destroyer, aka That Lunatic, etc.
Cleaner
He who cleans a mess
Yet doesn't love the cleanly
First jamcon entry! A short play on the theme of murder mystery, deliberately leaving it unsolved. Not much else to say.
Roller
Outside, ozone, suffocating.
Lightning striking
twice,
thrice,
bodies electric,
a bank of payphones desperately ringing
once,
twice,
eternally,
A vignette of Jude's Massacre.
I really tried to get across how just utterly wrecked Jude is here. He's smoking like a chimney, wants to die, and just… can't. I'm not sure we get a glimpse of this Jude outside of here, 3420, and 1168, but it's a really, really powerful version.
Crier
I ain't a kid anymore.
I got a job,
got lives in my hands.
Human race 'n all.
But I still cry.
I still cry in the rain.
I miss the dirt.
I miss the feeling.
I miss feeling…
I've always held the rain with a sort of reverence, and I think a lot of authors must to. It's a raw symbol of the washing away of one's sins, and the deliberate revocation of it here is symbolically really, really damning.
The accent was because it felt right, though. No deeper meaning.
Chaos Praxis
He took out his pocket knife.
There was blood.
It happens.
He'd put the pillow from his bed against his mouth, and…
He'd always hated this part.
He'd always hated this part.
Loved writing this one. It marks the first time I'd incorporated spacing for dramatic effect, accompanied with short sentences. I love this one to death.
Written for the doomsday contest's own Like Toy Story But Fucked Up team.
Originally a shitpost about the thing which happened to my team with fuckin TumblrMarx, but quickly evolved into a hearty dive into intense paranoia.
Also, it's about a dude called Chaos Insurgency.
Alto Clef Jr.: Virus Alert
Backlit by starlight,
front lit by lamplight,
a figure descended the concrete steps
pausing before the door,
closing his eyes
The first of the ACT series of tales, where Buck kills every single character in the original character tournament and also a few more for good measure.
The concept for starting this came to me in a haze. It was the dumbest thing I could've thought of, but I became determined. And now I'm writing it.
The characterization of Buck here is notably different than the one in Alto Clef Jr.: Fins, which I knew very well. This is after a LOT of time has passed, and Buck now works for the GOC, just like his daddy did.
Additionally, the characterization of Buck here is notably different from the other ACT tales, being more… lunatic. I love him like this, but by the second tale, I realized he's a lover, not a killer.
Alto Clef Jr.: Étoile et toi
Amber coronas
upon eclipses
and he,
Second ACT. The moment I started the Kids With Guns series and saw Nathan was a romantic, I knew this would have to be the kill. The deliberate juxtaposition of a romantic dinner date set-up with awkward dialogue and bad poetry and a literal goose man dating Nathan was too good to pass up.
Agent Pocket Ukulele Through the Fire and Flames
In front of her
her mounds of paperwork were infernal.
Walls were draped in flame.
Her wood filing cabinets, even, alight.
What? she thought.
The absolutely astounding title came to me when I was given a link to a youtube video by the name of "Dragonforce Ukulele Through The Fire and Flames". The tale came about from trying to fill that title.
The ending leaves a little to be desired, but overall I think it's pretty dang good.
This also introduces the concept of D.S. al Fine as a lower-level counterpoint to D.C. al Fine, the former being "From the sign to Fine" and the latter "From the top to Fine".
The Hotel California Presents: Ecce Farcio
Buck scraped the ground in front of him, pointing his bat to the sun,
wound up,
and swung right into Zeke Don's worthless skull
once,
twice,
the skull breaking in, head caving,
three times,
four,
brain and blood squishing out and backspattering from the newbroken scalp,
five,
six times,
splattering outwards, sticking onto the baseball bat's shaft, spilling onto the beach, like a semicongealed pudding.
Directly inspired by Hotline Miami, and it really, really shows.
This was the tale where Buck terminated all the first round forfeits except for one, saved for a very special purpose.
Also directly styled after Ecce Perago and Vescatur Perago as a direct homage and parody.
Marks the first real occurrence of Buck having interpersonal psychological conflict.
Some People Call Me the Goose Cowboy
You can call yourself a joke
but that doesn't make you funny.
Do you know what you are?
The first dip into a more psychologically horrific version of Buck.
I didn't make it subtle, mainly because its such a break away from the established tone.
Probably the best title I've had.
The Cure
Silence filled the cabin.
All there was was only the steady hum of engine,
and bumps from potholes,
and a lunatic filling the air.
Fuuuuuuuuuck. this one. I came up with the pun first and things lined up too perfectly to not take the shot.
I really enjoyed writing this, especially the variety of characters I had to write. Also the confusion is something I absolutely love. I absolutely love finding puns in phrases where there weren't puns to begin with.
also, cured hams.
Empire of Sand
The sun hung sliverthin upon the dunes
behind the gunman as he got up.
He brushed some of the sand off his pants
put his wings into his pockets.
And he walked towards it
over the dune.
The first time Buck's killed someone without the pomp and circumstance or even hyperviolence. Just a dialogue between two fucked up folks in the California desert.
My personal favorite bit was suggested to me by 
Uncle Nicolini, and it uses a one-off gag I mentioned for a tale they're writing about Buck, which is that Buck carries around cigarettes but doesn't smoke them.
A comedy plot point turns into a setup for communion between Anoati and Buck which turns to a refutation of that communion and a loss of common ground.
Love it.
GOC Agent x Reader (Reader is a Gun) [GONE WILD] [GONE SEXUAL]
you lie,
you both,
for what seems like hours.
sharing the heat.
this was for a friend's birthday. blame it on her.
it's since been deleted. why? well, why did i first post it? stupidity. i got convinced it was a fine thing to do. i think that's wrong, and it makes me a fair bit uncomfortable, and always has. just never enough to delete it until now. that was my mistake.
【Nightcore】Dopesmoker by Sleep (Full Album) and the Revenge of Drone
Upon the dunes of the Algodones stood a man, imposing upon midnight.
The fruits of his labor bore upon him in the night:
muscles burning
lungs ragged
and a small ceramic urn.
He picked it up,
held it close to his chest
and fell backwards into the sands
uraniumempire on the wiki actually gave me the idea to put this in reverse order, and it works hella well for this.
but god was this hard to write. there's a reason i took so long to write it, and it's because i couldn't think of a single dang thing to make the character who gets killed interesting, i hate the CI, and i wrote a fuckin killer opening and had trouble getting past it [but later just put it at the end].
i think it's good though! i very much enjoy it.
To The Sickest Bastard i Knew
Dear Child Gregoriy:
Every single time I lay down my head to sleep I see those wreched Gallows.
I see that bloody sun drench the gnarled timbers of that damned engine, oozing upon it as it churns, as it whines, spits; I see it beat down upon both the watchers and the observers alike. Like they deserve to be. I see those spattered planks span the horizon, splattered by the sweat and the tears and the piss and the vomit. And I see the Children, dressed in those rough sinewcloth cloaks, marching their oblations into the engine's gaping maw, the stewards wrenching all-who-gaze's heads to abrupt attention, to pull them fully into the spectacle.
And I looked.
yet another angry article, who would've thunk it.
originally? this started out as a tale based on tufto's excellent 001 proposal. the one about the scarlet king. i don't want to spoil it if you haven't read it, but a lot of the conflict here is based on ideas presented there.
however, the tale originally starred two brothers, each who eventually went to join opposing factions. this didn't pan out because it would've been way fuckin longer and also would've restricted the focus of the tale to something i didn't want.
ah well, such is life.
REWRITES
Anime is Art Too, Guys
He watched the buildings,
and the sights,
and the people
all blur together in his gaze outside the train,
forehead placed against the glass,
deci pm'd me one day and asked me to take a stab at rewriting this. one thing that sticks with me from that conversation is her saying "I think you and taffeta are the best possible kind of people to do a rewrite of this if it were to happen."
while i logically know that she isn't digging on me for liking anime a lot, god.
i actually didn't do anything with it until nearly a month after she first asked. i dunno why i came back to it. maybe because i wanted to see some oldnew life back in cool war 2?
go write for cool war two. basard
AFTERWORD
april fools haha. author pages are for dorks
