There's a beach in my desk that I keep locked away.
There's a beach in my desk
I keep locked away.
It holds a piece of me,
A shard of a memory
Of you and I, twin wanderers
Trekking to unknown worlds
Where the stars sing
In twinkling rhythms
And my heart beats
To their foreign tongues.
You're still there
Laughing in the background,
As the oceans of PK-22
Erupt, and I jump;
Far too busy staring at
You, who ignited my
Cold, analytical soul.
There's a gallery in my office
Of the things I thought of you;
Each word that raced to
Leap out my throat and
Turn "I love you" into an
Eternity of romance;
Interlocked souls
Revolving in tandem
Dancing in a deluge
Of my lovestruck tears,
Caught in a delusion
That I could live like you.
I've memorized each dimple
In your tired, smiling cheeks,
Tracing each to learn
How to look as you do,
How to love as you do;
The soft, gentle skin
That wraps your tender fingers
Traces this mask I've built
From anatomical textbooks
And notebooks
And timeworn sketchbooks;
And with a kiss
You damn me.
I keep every moment
Under lock and key
Studying memories incessantly
For rationality in our emotion,
In the seawater stardust
And my haywire creations
And my futile contraptions,
In the joy that forms my tears
And the grief that strains my smile,
In the anger I keep in cages
And the love I trap in pages
And museums
And crumbling galleries;
I want to live as you do
I want to love as you do,
I want to look in the mirror
And turn this scowl to a smile,
But my reflection
It shows an astral freak
Living in a fiction
With a name meaning nothing
And a face that isn't her own.
And so I return
To those violet seas
Hoping I'll find you
Sitting and waiting,
Smiling and laughing,
Beckoning me to take a seat
Beneath the sparkling lights
Of spirits long-since gone
Singing a silent song
Through morse and time
To shine on us.
I return
Hoping to hold you
And study you
And break you
Down to chemicals
To be as you
And love you
Wholly, symbiotically;
Two souls
Dancing in tandem
Through a deluge of
My lovestruck tears;
A violent storm
Lashing out towards
Reality.
And I stare
Left alone
With the sea
Reflecting me
And the dying stars.