All Alone on a Friday Afternoon

rating: +28+x

"Stop the bleeding?" the nurse asked as Jackie stepped out of the infirmary bathroom.

"Yeah," the anomaly replied nasally, rubbing the back of her neck. Staring at the ceiling for 15 minutes while holding a tissue to your nose tended to leave you on the sore side.

It wouldn't have taken 15 minutes if Bes had still been around, but he must've been off chasing the love goddess again.

"Excellent." The nurse, who was sitting behind the infirmary counter, placed a clipboard on its surface. "Just sign right here on your way out."

Jackie strode over to the desk and bent over the piece of paper. Grabbing the pen tied to the board, she began writing her signature over the column labeled "sign out."

"How did you even hurt yourself anyways?"

"Someone opened a door as I was walking past it." Jackie lied. She glanced at the clock to check the time. 12:04. She thought before scribbling the numbers down.

"The outswinging one in the east wing?"

Jackie nodded. The nurse shook her head solemnly.

"I keep telling them that error can't be ignored. I'm surprised we don't see more people in here because of it. Thank you." The nurse took the clipboard when Jackie finished writing. "Have a good day."

With that, Jackie turned and pushed her way through the infirmary doors. The hallways were relatively empty when she stepped out, with only a lone researcher lost in paperwork passing by.

Everyone must be at lunch, she thought. Realizing how hungry she was, Jackie turned and made her way toward the eatery.

As she walked, Jackie thought back to when she had tapped Iris on the nose with the date. She had assumed Iris was too distracted to react properly, or at the very least would only react verbally. Oh, how wrong Jackie had been. If she had known Iris was going to throw all 120 of her pounds into that punch, she would've just kept her mouth shut.

I always forget how strong Iris is, Jackie thought as she stepped into the cafeteria.

As usual, it was crowded with skips eating their meal and guards making sure no one did anything stupid. The sounds of tens of conversations echoed around the room as each clique chatted amongst themselves.

Jackie made her way over to the food line, which currently held about three people. As she walked, Jackie glanced at the area that had become known as 'Iris's table.' Sure enough, Iris was sitting in her normal corner chair. Adams was there too, hunched over her food.

At first, Jackie assumed everything was normal over there, but that half-second-long glance caused her to take another look.

Usually, Iris was nose deep in a crossword puzzle or mission report she had to file. Instead, she seemed to be… staring blankly into space? And chewing on her thumbnail? She seemed so… preoccupied with something in her mind, which was so unusual for her. Then again, after what had happened with Kadesh-Nanaya…

"Hey!" a chipper voice said. "What can I get you today?"

Jackie shook her head and turned to the guy behind the counter.

"Yeah, I'll have…" Jackie paused when she realized she had no idea what was on the menu today. She quickly glanced at the blackboard behind the guy to educate herself.

Porkchops (Seasoned or Unseasoned). Mac and Cheese. New England Clam Chowder. Mixed Vegetables.

"…Seasoned pork chops."

"Alrighty." The guy said, picking up a plate and tossing a slice on. "Anything else?"

"No thanks," Jackie replied as she took a glance back at the table.

The man put the plate on a red plastic tray and handed it over the counter. Jackie took it and made her way over to Iris and Adams.

"Good afternoon sir." Jackie said as she sat in her normal spot. "Hello Adams."

Adams gave Jackie a quick nod of acknowledgment. She seemed to be fixated on eating her porkchop, not really giving an opening for conversation. Not that Adams was the conversation type. Hell, no one Jackie knew here was the conversation type.

Iris didn't say anything as Jackie sat, instead continuing to stare into space and chew on her fingernail. It was as Jackie was arranging her plasticware that she noticed a quickly paced tapping sound coming from under the table. Taking a quick glance, she saw one of Iris's feet bouncing up and down rapidly. She must have been in REALLY deep thought.

"You get your nose fixed?" Iris asked, still staring into nothing.

Jackie quickly looked back up at her, surprised by the sudden question.

"Yeah. It's fine."

That's probably the closest thing to an apology I'll get.

Iris gave a small nod before lowering her hand and looking at Jackie directly.

"I'm going to report Nanaya to the chief of security."

"Why?" Jackie asked, genuinely confused.

"She's more dangerous than what they initially thought. Clearly she has some sort of… mind manipulation ability or memetic property, something they didn't know about when they contained her."

"You two spoke with 4960?" Adams said with sudden interest. She looked up from her food and at the two anomalies.

"Yeah." Jackie replied, mildly surprised Adams was actually talking. "Iris wanted to make sure she was following regulations. She ended up getting seduced instead."

Adams raised an eyebrow and turned to Iris.

"She did not seduce me." Iris snapped, reddening. "It was some kind of memetic manipulation… it had to have been."

“Sister, I’d just stop talking about this if I were you,” some chirped as they sat down next to Iris. “Bit of an unforced error here.”

Iris’ face hardened. “Who said – Wha-” Any wind in her sails she had momentarily gained was immediately put out by the sudden appearance of… Was that the Insurgent who cracked Iris’ ribs? What was she doing here?

Anne let Iris and Jackie look around the room for any guards for a few seconds, smiling, before she waved her hands in a non-threatening gesture that nonetheless had Iris’ hand darting for where she normally keeps her revolver.

“Hey, relax, will ya? I’m out on good behavior.” Anne crossed her heart with a finger. “I’m on the straight and narrow now. See? Even the guards like me.”

She winked at a guard, who only seemed to grip their weapon a bit tighter in its holster. In contrast, Jackie wasn’t quite sure that Adams even noticed someone else had sat down at the table.

“So!” Anne clapped her hands loud enough to make Iris flinch. “What are we talking about?”

“Nothing that concerns you,” Iris said. “Just going over some particularly egregious violations of protocol.”

“Yeah, I heard.” Anne rested her head on one of her hands and leaned over the table as though she was somehow well-integrated in this social group. “Fuckin’ narc.”

“If you were eavesdropping, why did you – ugh, whatever.” Iris rubbed her temples.

Jackie cleared her throat. "Sir, if I may, I think you're overreacting a bit. There ARE other explanations for what you felt. Besides, aren't you immune to memetics?"

"It's not possible," Iris said, more to herself than to Jackie or Adams. "I had a boyfriend."

Jackie rolled her eyes. Anne bit down on her knuckles. She looked like she was about to watch her new favorite movie on opening day.

"You can have both," Adams spoke up.

Iris gave Adams a confused look.

"What?" she asked

"You can have both… or neither," Adams said.

"Both of what?"

"Both a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Maybe not simultaneously, but over time."

Iris opened her mouth to speak, but it took an extra second for the words to come out. Anne was quietly shaking with suppressed laughter.

"You mean like… having both friends that are girls and friends that are boys?" She said, clearly lost.

"What?" Adams seemed just as confused as Iris. "No. Like, having a boyfriend one day, breaking up with him, and getting a girlfriend. What I'm saying is you can like both."

Iris gave a look of absolute confusion for a good five seconds, before washing away into something less serious.

"Oh, yeah, haha. Good one."

"What?" Adams said.

"How stupid do you think I am? You can’t bat for both teams."

Anne just blinked at Iris. “You have got to be one of the funniest people I’ve ever met.” To her credit, Iris didn’t dignify that with a response.

Now it was Adams's turn to be confused. Though by the looks of it, there was also a hint of being offended in her face. "Iris. I’m bisexual."

"That's a made-up word," Iris said, doubling down. "You can’t just pull shit out of your ass and expect me to fall for it again. You already got me with pataphysics."

Jackie gritted her teeth. The novelty of the situation seemed to be wearing off for Anne, who just stared at Iris, perhaps more awestruck than anything.

"Iris…" Adams said in her most controlled voice possible. "You can like both. Or neither. There’s not really a-"

"Alright, you don’t need to drag it out. Everyone’s staring, it’s just awkward now." Iris looked around the cafeteria. A few of the other patrons at the tables next to theirs had begun to take glances over at them.

"To be fair, Adams…" Jackie started. "She didn't know what a lesbian was until about a month ago."

"You didn't know what a lesbian was?" Adams said, turning to her. "Were you raised Catholic or something?"

"Yes." Iris replied flatly.

"Oh…" Adams replied in a tone that implied that the previous question was rhetorical and wasn't expecting an answer. "Um…"

"Aaaaanyway…" Anne burst out, appearing desperate to change subject. "You see what's been going on with Cain, Bes, and… um… you know who?"

"Yes, we know." Jackie replied. "I'm pretty sure that's why we went to meet her in the first place."

"Yeah, well. Either of you wanna place bets?"

"On what?" Adams asked

"On who she's gonna pick."

Adams rolled her eyes and went back to her food. Iris gave Anne a glare that could've melted steel. Jackie just frowned.

"Bet with… what, exactly?"

"Candy bars."

"What?" Jackie said.

"What!" Iris snapped in unison.

"Candy bars." Anne repeated, turning to Iris.

"That's contraband!" Iris replied, gripping the table. Seems like she was turning back to normal.

"No it isn't." Anne said innocently.

"No it isn't." Adams echoed, shaking her head. Iris glared at her.

"I've convinced, like, half the weirdos here to gamble their bars on stupid little bets." Anne continued. Iris's head slowly turned to Anne, though the look on her face remained as lethal. "Though, the one with Cain and Bes is hardly a little one."

"You've been forcing OTHER people to play your stupid game?"

"Forcing?" Anne said, taken aback. "I'd never. They do it of their own free will!"

"Wha- you can't- you're not allowed-" Iris stuttered. It seemed like her brain was shutting down.

"It's all perfectly ok, Iris. There's nothing to be mad about." Anne smiled.

Iris groaned and stood.

"Am I the ONLY one who follows the rules?!" She blurted before stomping off. Jackie kept her eyes on Iris as she marched up to one of the guards. "Do your damn job!" She barked before stormed away.

Yep. Iris was back to normal.

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