Item #: SCP-3939

Object Class: Unclassed

Special Containment Procedures: Keep it in a little room or a locker or something

Description: It's a record player or a stereophone or something [add in the name when you remember]. It's got a big brass loudener and a wooden box at the bottom with the spinner on top. It's probably pretty old

Yep! This is beautiful.

It's concise, solecistic, streamlined and efficient. Everything you need to know in just a few words. This — what you've written today — will revolutionise the way the Foundation writes articles, forever. You'll make it to Class 4 in no time.

You know what? Let's tell the Site Director that you've sorted everything out.

To: Site Director (Site-39)

From: Researcher ████ ████████

Hi Amanda,

I've cracked it. SCP-3939 is done.

My final article is attached. Please have a read. I'll be glad to receive a commendation from the O5s after you forward it to them.

Thank you!

Researcher ████ ████████

With a broad grin on your face, you rise from your chair and waltz out of your office. As you make the walk towards the car park — to begin your well-deserved journey home — you imagine hordes of lesser researchers blossom from within all the offices you walk past, cheering, praising your name.

On your way out, the guy in the security booth gives you a knowing smile. Maybe he already knows. The roads are empty on your way home. You walk into your house, sit down, and smile.

You're done. You deserve this victory.

You sleep like a log.

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