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Thanks for the clarifications! I've just now noticed your replies (two years late) sadly it seems there's no way for me to be notified of replies, but i do try to go back and answer. Again, thanks!
"Destruction leads to a very rough road but it also breeds creation"
I love a good scary door.
Ohhh, i know i'm late but thanks for the clarification
"Destruction leads to a very rough road but it also breeds creation"
not everything has to be a huge story,
no one is saying this. no one is saying this has to be a huge story. you can write an article that has any meat to it in a way that isn't the most boring article imaginable. this article does not do that
Say hello to Junior Dad
The prose feels a little bland and needs some more variation with its diction for me to really be engaged with this. Too much of “I do this action” or “I do that action” and nothing to really spice it up. This also feels a little lengthy with its pacing without anything to make that length feel earned, in my opinion.
Yeah that too, like, just seal it and it's gone, can't tell if it should be Keter
"Destruction leads to a very rough road but it also breeds creation"
Agreed with the other commenters here. This could’ve used a pass for spelling and grammatical errors, and for overall sentence construction.
When I mean “this feels like the beginning of a story,” I mean it feels like it’s underdeveloped and more of a rough draft than a fully realized cohesive whole of a story.
Sure am!
Also, what’s a “vent art”? Does it involve frogs?
Probably an inconsistency with the X-Ray image and the description of it. So… a mistake.
Otherwise you can just say that the beak is hollow and you can put food in it from below, or maybe the beak opens and we don't know. Most probably, a mistake relating to the X -Ray and the part where it says it was dining on pork and crackers…
"Destruction leads to a very rough road but it also breeds creation"
Dat grammar…
"Destruction leads to a very rough road but it also breeds creation"
hiya (also +1)
It truly feels like a Creepypasta given a nice breath of fresh air, no hyper realistic blood to be found, just the door. Wish my story was half as good lol.
I actually thoroughly enjoyed this one.
It's not exactly flawless, don't get me wrong. The overuse of redactions just reeks early foundation, for instance. But out of all the human-based S1 articles, this is probably my favorite of which I've read. It's nice to have a scp which is a child and doesn't directly kill you (looking at you, 053). Admittedly, I haven't read the pre-rewrite version but from what I heard it wasn't very good, so this article does a good job at cleaning that up.
It also just exhibits a childlike sense of wonder while reading it. Which I suppose was intentional, in a way. Probably due to the whole 'space' thing. At the same time though, you can't help but feel a sense of pity. It feels like this girl didn't deserve this fate, which the foundation clearly doesn't help with by being grade-A assholes. The pictures are genuinely some of the best I've seen, too.
+1.
Honestly, just kinda clunky. Conceptually interesting, I like how weird and open Thomas is with everything. The containment procedures could be streamlined (what does the factory do? Why not just set up a security perimeter around the house, etc.). The description is a bit vague (what is "American style", in specific?). Just needs a few more rounds of drafting/critique.
Maybe the real SCP could be found inside of us all along🤔
Thanks for that, Zyn.
Literally, i always say that you need to take into consideration the era in which an article was written, there are lots of people here comparing it to stuff you find in the 3000's, like, of course it's not going to be a huge fuck off story.
"Destruction leads to a very rough road but it also breeds creation"
This is exactly what i said when i first commented here, not everything has to be a huge story, there are things that are just things, useful things, and these kinds of articles help as tools or objects that can be used in larger articles.
"Destruction leads to a very rough road but it also breeds creation"