There were many unanswered questions of the very legal type that do not matter to those this bill affects, questions like is the Foundation a privatized organization? and how will this affect the no anomalous prison system? and do anomalous persons have rights?
While I always try to see a compromise between the "there is no canon" inherent to the site and the point of a canon being its rigidity… unanswered questions? If it's the year 2025, these have been answered or at least talked about since at least 10 years prior. Not a canonically accurate hook paragraph, unless I'm missing something here. Did you get feedback from any of the other canon contributors before posting this?
but the fine print had been scavenged more than anything on capitol hill
Capital Hill is not capitalized throughout this, but it should be
The 500 horsepower scantron reality anchor- a menacing black mechanical giant tucked in among the spacious subterranean containment wards- was the first piece of large equipment to be plugged in once the site was added to municipal power.
Scranton got spelled as scantron and needs to be capitalized (at least that part since it's someone's name, if not the full device's name) and the emdashes are fucky; they should be two hyphens together with a space on either side, which will turn them into the long kind
The Foundation Jeeps
Sailor Moon is misspelled
edit: lol fair enough mate, I figured it was a small enough percentage of this post ;)
All that aside, I don't support the primary canonical implications here. I can't imagine the UN allowing the Foundation to have unanimous jurisdiction over anomalous children like this… Legal or not legal and bill or no bill, especially in the mid-to-late 2020s when the Foundation has been public since 2013 and this would have been an issue way sooner. If anomalous children are more and more common, the dozen-or-two other active Groups of Interest are going to be offering services as well — they have just as much a right to any market as the Foundation does, anomalous childcare and midwifing included. (If the case is otherwise — that the government is entrusting solely the Foundation to serve this cause — I honestly cannot imagine why.)
If I'm wrong on any of the above or if this narrative takes a surprising direction in later parts (I see you'll be taking it back to the '90s at some point), it's definitely possible for me to change my vote. I read this thrice in an effort to not miss anything, but honestly, I found the prose to be overly elaborate and drawn-out in respect to what information was being told, and I found myself hanging onto details that I later didn't need. It's a topic and a location that could really benefit from a blunt, succinct tone and syntax in the spirit of politics and newscasting IMO, but that is personal preference.
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