SCP-3634 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-3634.

page 1 of 212next »

Wine all you want, this author commentary is gonna be grape.

Ihp 03 Jan 2019 00:52

Me in 2018: "I can't think of anything for Cliche Con"

Me in 2019: "Hey, cool corkscrew. WAITAMINUTE."

This is based off of an actual item I have in my house— it's sitting on my desk right now, and was owned by my grandmother. The inspiration came to me last night, and I figured "I could make a religion a skip out of this."

This is an attempt at a humorous SCP and… it might not be my best one, but after enough tweaking, I'm mostly fine with it. Hopefully it stands out enough among the other cliches.

Thanks to Aismallard, Ensophos, and RockTeethMothEyes for looking over this.

Picture taken by myself.

The cliche this is intended to cover is Anomaly Cliche 1: "Compulsion effect that makes you do bad things/kills you."

And yes, the Task Force Name is a reference to the best John Mulaney bit. Credit to LordStoneFish for that.

Last edited on 03 Jan 2019 01:26 by Ihp Show more

Re: Wine all you want, this author commentary is gonna be grape.

Mark Penrice 05 Jan 2019 21:39

Come on, fess up. This isn't just a corkscrew you got for Christmas. This is an accurate blow by blow account of your actual 2018 family Christmas get-together.

Dr Creo 03 Jan 2019 03:20

This got a good laugh out of me. I feel like it would work better as a joke scp, but you get my +1 nevertheless.

---

"Oh Lazarus, how did your debts get paid?"

psul 03 Jan 2019 08:33

A bit too loose with realism for my taste - the "truth serum" effect seems to get thrown aside pretty quickly in favour of "compelled to sex/violence", the comic returns of which are rapidly diminished.

But the thing that really gets me about this: who opens champagne with a corkscrew!?

Mark Penrice 05 Jan 2019 21:38

To be honest, the entire family seems to have problems, so all bets are off. And it's probably not actually champagne, just some fizzy white wine. Maybe even just regular cheap plonk with soda water added afterwards… Or it's sufficiently corked enough to go flat.

But yeah, if it's the real thing, or even sufficiently gassy Cava / Prosecco, opening the bottle was probably the first injury of the evening.

Also, on the same note, who makes party punch using champagne? Maybe if you're filling up a big bowl of buck's fizz possibly, but otherwise, seems a bit of a waste.

Crashington 03 Jan 2019 10:59

That was amazing i love it

Sad we couldnt see all the interviews :D

(account deleted) 03 Jan 2019 16:58

Hmm, novote. It sure did make me laugh, but for the reasons Psul cited, it felt kind of off-track. It also felt like it became less about the anomaly and more about the people, but not in a way that added depth and context to the item's simple effect… IDK. _{Also, I'mma keep it real with you chief, I think the 14-year-old making that "I've fucked older" comment is over some sort of line, even for humor purposes. (Just that comment; the rest of the log is… not quite that bad I guess. Not to be a stickler or w/e but would the humor be lost if it were at least an 18-year-old saying it to someone twice their age instead?)}

Last edited on 03 Jan 2019 17:00 by (account deleted) Show more

Mark Penrice 05 Jan 2019 21:33

You've not had to deal with any 14-year-old British yoofs recently, have you…

If it makes it any easier to stomach, he almost certainly hasn't fucked anything, possibly not even his own hand, and certainly not a 33+ year old woman. It's just adolescent boastfulness without the inhibiting effects of any kind of class.

Last edited on 05 Jan 2019 21:35 by Mark Penrice Show more

augmentedspartan 25 Jan 2019 19:28

The way I interpreted is that the kid is full of shit, which is why they dismissed him after he said that.

(account deleted) 03 Jan 2019 20:02

Trevor: Carter, how many more of these do we have to do?

That's what I started to feel about reading this. There are some great moments in here, and a playful idea, but I think it doesn't pull off the balancing act of non -J, funny mainlister. I'm not sure why all of the interviews would be included for example, it not being a -J (many of them being seemingly non-contributory except for the humor), and so the article comes off as meandering and unprofessional by the Foundation's standards.

As an aside, this entry maybe could also be something doing what it is supposed to do too well (alcohol as a social lubricant).

Mark Penrice 05 Jan 2019 21:32

Yeah, essentially what it does is remove all the usual social inhibitions.

Or, as demonstrated, essentially makes adults into pubescent, Fortnite-added teenagers ;-)

Mark Penrice 05 Jan 2019 21:29

Are we sure that the corkscrew actually has any kind of anomalous effects, rather than this simply being a Regular Ordinary British Christmas? Pretty certain that events not too dissimilar to this happen up and down the land at the bidding of nothing more than bowls of overenthusiastically "improved" mulled wine… it just needs a suitably unusually-large gathering (56 people? damn. I'd been to staff parties smaller than that) to allow emotions to properly boil over.

Anyway, pretty hilarious - I just fear that, enjoyable as it is, it may be considered tonally unsuitable for retention in the mainlist. It'd make a great -J though. Maybe SCP-2512-J, neatly avoiding any clash with an American counterpart?

Last edited on 05 Jan 2019 21:30 by Mark Penrice Show more

DrArmstrong 06 Jan 2019 04:26

The Aristocrats!

+1

(account deleted) 06 Jan 2019 13:38

+10 for somehow including that dance.

The one from that fucking game! People kept on telling me to be nice to him because it keeps him out of trouble, but it's so annoying!

+1.

Last edited on 06 Jan 2019 13:42 by (account deleted) Show more

Sergeimosin 08 Jan 2019 21:49

…. alright, which one of you bastards put the hidden camera in my Christmas tree? And why would you post the transcript as an SCP?!

(Take the +1 for a British reenactment of my family's regular holiday chaos)

page 1 of 212next »