A few spelling and grammar points aside, this is one of the cleverest and well-written SCPs on the whole site. Applause all around!
I like this one. However I think,
"The conclusion regarding the nature of SCP-092 is that the item is a 3D manifestation of an extradimensional audio CD, which is currently playing in a CD player in the 5th dimension. The theoretical 5th dimensional CD player provides both the torque required for a CD player to read a standard audio CD, and the light emanating from the bottom of SCP-092 is explainable by this theory as a reflection of the laser from the extradimensional CD player.
Existence of SCP-092 in the 3rd dimension can be better pictured by imagining the universe as a flattened 2-dimensional plane, which is intersected by a long, worm-like tube that intersects the universe in one or perhaps several places. SCP-092 may then be thought of as a single cross-section of the tube, the entirety of which exists in the 5th spatial dimension and whose body intersects this universe and an infinite number of other 3-dimensional universes."
is entirely speculative and unnecessary. The SCP works better without it.
Seconded, so I reworked that whole section. It's the same basic idea, but streamlined and reformatted. Hopefully that works better.
Oh, I'm going to make it Safe, too.
[Edit:] Reverted to Euclid before the Mass Edit.
The leading theory regarding its nature is that SCP-092 is a three-dimensional manifestation of an extradimensional CD that is playing in a five-dimensional CD player.
Am I the only one who thinks that is the single least scientific thing they've ever heard?
Oh, trust me, I've heard far worse. I actually like it, but then again, I enjoyed Flatland: a Romance of Many Dimensions.
It's funny that this reminded you of Flatland because it reminded me of Spaceland. Also, I really wish i could upvote this a hundred-thousand times.
Seriously, though. This reads less like a real scientific document and more like a shitty syfy channel B movie.
All of it, or just the last paragraph before Dr. O'Hara's note? Up til then, I thought it was actually rather well-described. All the noted information could have been gathered empirically without too much trouble.
Quibble: "Emergency Procedures" is not a standard SCP-document heading. I'll blend that section into the normal "Special Containment Procedures" section if no one else wants to.
All of it. This article exists solely to support a pun based on the name "the fifth dimension". The writing is terrible, and the concept is weak. It doesn't even really do anything.
"When not in direct contact with any surface or object that would serve to tether it, item appears to maintain its exact position in 3-dimensional space"
That should probably be clarified to "maintains its exact position relative to the sun" or some such, since there is no such thing as an exact, impartial position.
Also, I appear to be in the same small minority as yoric on this one. What does everyone find so great about this entry?
If I'm not mistaken, shouldn't the following quote be taken a bit more seriously?
relative to an observer on the Earth's surface, the item shoots out in a westerly direction at a rate equal to the speed of the Earth's rotation around the sun (~100,000 km/h) until it comes in contact with another surface or tether.
That would mean that the CD, when placed on the coffee table, should have shot out at ~100K km/h to the west, and the friction on the table shouldn't have been enough to hold it down. If it was enough, and the CD is able to also be placed in the air, how were they able to note that it would fly out to the west without destroying the original copy? There just seems to be way too much wrong with this particular line, and I think the article would benefit from it being edited out.
If I'm not understanding this correctly, please feel free to correct me. Thank you.
It was in contact with the table. If they'd picked it up and dropped it, it would have flown off as soon as they let go. Still, that doesn't explain how they discovered this.
"five-dimensional CD player"
That alone wins an upvote from me. I like the idea in general, too, regardless of implausibility.
As other people have pointed out, there are a number of problems with this one.
My main physics gripes are:
1)The coffee table can't stop it spinning at a mere 1100rpm (25 km/h at the outer edge) but can stop it shooting off at 100,000km/h?
2) Why is it shooting off to the west? During the night it would shoot off westward (well, at the precise middle of the night anyway) while at the middle of the day it would move eastward. At dusk it would go straight up, while at dawn it would go straight down. (assuming it's stored on the equator). If it's tied to the Earth's frame, rather than the Sun's, then it would go west.
But I could let those slide if I actually find this interesting. I just… don't. It's a disc that spins without cause, and is, sometimes, fixed in space; and the researcher assumes it's part of a 5D CD simply because it's called "The Fifth Dimension"; even though the fact it can be moved when you hold it indicates that it isn't part of such an object.
I like the attempt at describing a 3D cross-section of a higher dimensional object, but this just feels (please forgive the pun) flat. And given the observational data supplied, I don't see how they'd make the leap to "5-D object" except for making a terrible pun on the name of the CD. Even a small change like changing the laser beam description to:
[…]when compared to a non-anomalous copy of the album, the selected track would be "Up, Up, and Away." However, analysis of the laser beam indicate that it is reading and reproducing copies of every known song performed by "The Fifth Dimension", including live performances, practice sessions and recorded songs that were never including on a published album.
would introduce a bit more uncertainty, as well as further support/imply that this was a higher-dimensional object.
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.