SCP-4912 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-4912.

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...comes great responsibility.

Connor MacWarren 28 Nov 2018 03:30

You know, I guess one person can make a difference.

'Nuff said.

- Stan Lee

This SCP was made in memory of Stanley Martin Lieber.

Big thanks to Nicolini, Zyn, and Floppy for reviewing this.

Image was edited by me.

- Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:New_York_City_Mayor_Mike_Bloomberg_at_Midtown_Comics.jpg

Re: ...comes great responsibility.

DaveyTheDuck 29 Nov 2018 18:59

I noticed a lot of grammer mistakes and some really awkward wording. Are you ok with me fixing them? Just wanted to see if its ok with you first.

Last edited on 29 Nov 2018 19:06 by DaveyTheDuck Show more

Re: ...comes great responsibility.

Connor MacWarren 30 Nov 2018 03:58

Feel free to so so.

Re: ...comes great responsibility.

DaveyTheDuck 30 Nov 2018 12:49

ok thank you

EDIT: Ok so here is the wording changes if you were curious, all the other changes are just typos and grammar:

…and is designed to resemble a popular Marvel Comics character called Spider-Man.

When held or observed by a male human being, the subject would be strongly compelled to equip it.

Last edited on 30 Nov 2018 15:15 by DaveyTheDuck Show more

Admin Post - Info - Open

Zyn 01 Dec 2018 08:53

Ok so here is the wording changes if you were curious

The changes made actually make the clinical tone worse than the original wording. The changes you made introduce a strange phrasing that doesn't seem like native-spoken English.

all the other changes are just typos and grammar:

Most of the changes you've made were unnecessary. The "analyzed"/"analysed" spelling is just a UK/US variant, not a typo.

I've reverted the changes and made adjustments to keep the one necessary grammar fix. Please be more careful when attempting to help edit others' works from now on.

Netherin5 28 Nov 2018 03:47

I'm a little biased here, but I'm glad this exists. I'm also glad that an SCP honoring such a great man was written so well. Rest in piece. Thank you, MacWarren, Nicolini, Zyn, and Floppy. To be slightly less sentimental, Hell yes, Spiderman
+1

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Something Something Weeb Stuff Something

Connor MacWarren 28 Nov 2018 03:49

You know, the day I made this was also the day that he died. I figured I'd finish this first before anything else as a way to honor him.

Edna Granbo 28 Nov 2018 03:49

Excelsior.

+1

Uncle Nicolini 28 Nov 2018 03:56

I still don't like the dialogue and the end of the article just feels like an attempt to cash in on Stan Lee's death for upvotes.

Lt Flops 28 Nov 2018 04:58

I can't say that I think the clinical tone and dialogue is entirely up to par. But I am a major nerd with a soft spot for the sentimental, so that's an upvote from me.

+1

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http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/floppyphoenix

OddlyWitchy 28 Nov 2018 05:47

I really like this idea, so here are a few comments:

I have edited your grammar in some places to make it read smoother.

SCP-4912 compels them to put it on and wear it.

This is pretty redundant. I would pick one description and get rid of the other.

Most of these preventions in crime will usually end up with the SCP-4912-A instance in a state of injury or death, due to the lack of protection other than SCP-4912 itself.

I suggest changing "preventions" to "attempted preventions" because I doubt the instances actually help stop any crime.

Also, there are some sentences that sound awkward and the clinical tone isn't the best. That being said, I really do like the basis of this scip and I hope it does well!

OthellotheCat 28 Nov 2018 06:19

Bit too soon I’d say. Kinda echoing Nico with the whole cash grab for votes.

Connor MacWarren 28 Nov 2018 06:41

I admit that I probably should've waited first. Although I can't change your mind on it being any "cash grab" for votes. I made this purely because I'm a fan of Stan Lee.

You win some, you lose some, I guess.

AKnightInShinyArmor 28 Nov 2018 12:59

That interview log was simply outstanding; SCP-4912-A6 really feels like a regular guy who found a Spider-Man suit, and their "Spider-Man is more than a guy, he's an idea" line was truly touching. +1

Connor MacWarren 28 Nov 2018 13:08

Thanks. Him finding it in a trash can is a call back to the Spider-Man No More storyline.

Spoilers

SCP-4912-A6 is actually a younger version of Tobey Maguire. Just in case you didn't catch that.

Baronjoe 28 Nov 2018 16:26

I feel the Foundation would be smart enough to make the connection at the end. Nonetheless, this was pretty good. Excelsior!

well...

Dr Mayer 28 Nov 2018 16:40

… I get that it is a tribute. And for that purpose it is great.

That said: I kind of don't feel comfortable with the fact, that a marvel character (costume plus backstory plus picture) is used here. He in fact is more than a guy, is an idea. An idea protected under copyright and trademark law. I just… it might be ok within the rules of this site and I truly honor your intent but it doesn't feel right to me.

Re: well...

Connor MacWarren 28 Nov 2018 16:43

We have an article about Walt Disney's frozen head. I think it'll do just fine.

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