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Summary deletions result for:
Item #: SCP-4983 Object Class: Safe. (and then a bunch of image code). Summarily deleted at -20 for being an improper self-delete and an incomplete work. Procyonlotor witnessed.
http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/exaqt For now. I'm sandboxing it., summarily deleted at -19 for essentially being a spam page?
Feedback ported:
Posting incomplete articles in sandbox pages onto the mainlist/ -J mainlist makes this website seem less professional. The idea for the -J is boring, if there is a joke in there, it went over my head. I don't know if this is meant to be a parody article on things that kill you or something, but if it is we have s o m a n y of those.
I don't think I understand the joke here. Is it that it's sandboxed? It's a bread that kills people who eat it. Cool. Nothing else interesting. The image is broken as well. Feels like there was no effort put into this, like it was made in a few minutes.
SCP-3597 is the maya head sculpure that was found in year 2005 in maya village in Yucatan by dr. ████████ and explorer ██████. The sculpure is little bigger than human head and it have crown on its head. SCP-3597 is made by stone. in the area of SCP-3597 after 30 minutes you feel agresivity, pain in head, and taste for killing. After 1 hour in area of SCP-3597 you will hear voices in uknown language. Inside of SCP-3597 is "brain" made with uknown material similiar with gold, -25 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
This reads like it was run through several layers of Google translate
Author, due to the discordance of the phrasing and grammar this SCP comes across as rather difficult to read, although the concept is salvageable. Try heading to the Drafts and Critiques forum and hash ideas out with some folks over there. Good luck!
Use the How to Write an SCP for formatting issues, like the image. also due to the various grammatical and capitalization errors, this is really hard for me to read. and instead of just putting quotation marks around a word you don't know how to say in clinical tone (I am talking about the "brain") in this case, just use a classification such as SCP-3597-#. If this was a bit more polished and ran through a spell check software, it could be something that I would enjoy, but until then, -1.
While I agree it's pretty bad in terms of phrasing and grammar, that can be fixed. It also has a really bad tone, however that can be reworked.
What is significantly harder to fix is a boring concept with an execution that doesn't in the least save that premise. It just causes boring psychic influence on people around it, but if they touch it's brain they have generic visions.
SCP-4072 is primarily two 15x15cm pyramid shaped stones (SCP-4072-A and SCP-4072-B) crudely depicting iconography and symbols that correspond with no known civilizations. Whenever SCP-4072-A and SCP-4072-B come within 9.6km of each other, an area of approximately [REDACTED] square kilometers located in Southern China will immediately ignite and catch on fire. This zone has been designated SCP-4072-Alpha and all of its inhabitants moved, -18 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
I don't understand the purpose of this article, what it's trying to portray, and how I'm supposed to feel as the audience when exposed to this literature. It isn't, on its face, terrible. It just doesn't have a point.
Just seemed like there was nothing there.
Kind of like; this is object, don't do this, if this not done everything is fine, oh god something happened for some reason, the end.
Additionally I don't really understand the Keter classification on this - it does not pose any threat of containment breach and if special containment procedures are followed there is no threat of anything bad happening. It should be Euclid or Safe in my opinion.
4M K is ridiculously hot. Maybe not in the "completely unattainable" range some other articles have done with their measurements, but temperatures that high would probably have some weird effects on surrounding matter. You don't play with those, instead just seemingly using a high number for "this is ultra-dangerous guys".
SCP-4965 is a helmet originating from the Spartan battle somewhere around ███BC. During the battle, the helmet fell off a dying Spartan. During the year of ████, it was found in an archaeologist excavation site about 10 meters below ground. It was found rusted and dented, making it not wearable. After 2 years of intense repairing from the archaeologists, its condition was clean and fixed, -17 and three staff votes.
Scp-4517 appears to be an average specimen of Anas platyrhynchos and was first found in [REDACTED], however at the approach of any human within 0.2 kilometres of SCP-4517, SCP-4517 will immediately and aggressively engage the human and will relentlessly attempt to deposit an egg within the human’s ear canal with the only exception being under the condition that the human’s ears are thoroughly sealed with any applicable material, -16 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Concept has potential with the extreme weirdness of it, but it really doesn't do anything with it other than "it kills people when the egg hatches".
Also, based on the description, shouldn't this be extremely easy to contain by simply having some poor D-Class as an egg carrier and then just making sure the duck is unhurt?
SCP-3487 refers to an anomalous longsword 81.28 Centimeters in length and 1.13 Kilograms in weight. The design is similar to ██th-century weapons, but carbon dating has determined that the sword was forged sometime in ██th-century BCE. The sword has no markings, save for a small imprint of a wasp on the bottom of the pommel. The sword's grip is covered by a wrap composed of leather and copper wire. All attempts to remove the grip from SCP-3487 have been met with failure, -10 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
What brings it down for me is the somewhat run-on sentences, as well as some grammar and typographical errors. I implore you to put any future drafts of this SCP, or any SCP you write in general in the SCP Draft/Critiques portion of the forums.
At the end of the day, this is just zombies with a few extra layers. I mean, obviously you know so given the listed title, but to me you just don't add enough to make it a worthwhile read. I was expecting something else, and at the end of the day, the most interesting bit was just a "[REDACTED]" followed by a rather poor recovery log.
I like this one for the most part, it's a nice take on Zombies. That said I do have a few issues with it.
The first is the over-complicated containment procedures. I don't think there's any good reason to have a variety of non-magnetic metals in the when you could have just one, or even plastic.
Further than that, the whole magnetic field thing could be replaced with a shelf. It would be cheaper, easier, less likely to fail, and there's nothing in the entry which suggests it wouldn't work.
Then there's the [Redacted] experiment log. I think there are very few places on this whole website where omitting a large thing is beneficial to the overall entry, and I definitely don't think that this is one of them. Doubly so because we're given the tease of it being interesting in the containment procedures, so finding [Redacted] when we get to it is a bit of a let down.
I think that the entry needs work, and more of a pay off, but there's definitely a solid core to the whole thing which has potential.
I don't particularly have a problem with the fact that there wasn't some big payoff at the end. There are plenty of SCPs on this website that are simply an interesting scientific-journal-esque read and nothing more. I also really appreciate the obvious effort you put into this SCP.
That said, I must admit that I was also a little thrown off by the entire [REDACTED] experiment log. Although it would theoretically pique a reader's interest in the potential dangers of the object, in reality it felt more like a cheap ploy because as far as I could tell, you might not have even had an idea in your head of what occurred in that experiment. I would have been more convinced if at least some degree of context were given with information about the conclusion of the experiment being redacted.
Also, why does the recovery log require Level 3 Clearance? Why is it something the Foundation would want to hide from someone who has just read the experiment logs and the description of what the object is? Please excuse me if it's really obvious and it went over my head or something.
SCP-4802 is a previously unknown species of earthworm. While instances vary, SCP-4802 on average is about 1 m in height, with the head being the largest body part. The head has two tentacles, similar to a snail, and a mouth. Instances are shown to have gray, leathery skin that secretes snail slime. It is believed that SCP-4802 is a hybrid of snails and worms, -10 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Eh. It's weird as fuck, which is always a positive, but I feel it really doesn't do anything with that weirdness. It's also a bit pointlessly deadly/aggressive, with pretty much any instance of it resulting in the same thing (except its final form, for some reason).
Experiment Log 914 3, a redirect page. ProcyonLotor witnessed.
As noted in the discussion, "i assume it was made to standardize the links for all the logs because theyre "log-914-1" and "log-914-2" while the current one is "log-914-part-iii." even then though, its kinda pointless."
If you notice an issue with urls like this, please notify a staff member/the curator of the page in question, rather than creating a redirect page.
SCP-4965, Hellmet: Hellmet, summarily deleted by me and witnessed by ProcyonLotor for being an unedited repost of a recently deleted article.
The SCP 4987 is a large building with walls made of a material similar to marble, the measurements being 12 X 12 X 12 meters inside and 14 X 14 X 14 outside.
The only entry for SCP 4987 is an old metal door that has no latch.
Deleted at -22 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
Ok, first of all, read the How to Write an SCP guide, it explains how to properly format articles, including images. Speaking of images, this one has a watermark, which instantly breaks my suspension of disbelief and makes the article look worse by comparison, because the Foundation isn't going to use stock photos for SCP documents. Also, break up your text into paragraphs, the description is just one big paragraph.
Another thing, the entire thing with the Class-D could be turned into a test log, or simply an addendum with better wording. Or instead of going through those events, just explain how it affects larger organism in the description normally. I do sort of like the base concept of a room that kills all microorganisms, but at the same time, and I am not a biologist or anything so I can't help you with this, do some more research on how that would accurately affect the body. So get a new image and format it and the rest of the article correctly, and ground the concept from a more scientific standpoint.
The general concept here isn't all that bad in the sense that's an aggressively anti-septic building which kills anything that enters it. But the overall execution leaves much to be desired. It's a mess and doesn't particularly explore all that could happen with such an object.
SCP-4047 is a 1847 mechanical alarm clock and was found in a old house on ██/██/████. SCP-4047 can not be disposed of as it will reappear in the last spot it was in 5 minutes before disposal.
when SCP-4047’s hour hand reaches 12 SCP-4047-2 will appear next to SCP-4047. SCP-4047-2 is a white misty figure that mainly manifest as a humanoid male and will sit there trying to set the alarm, SCP-4047-2 is always unsuccessful in doing so and after the hour hand reaches 1 SCP-4047-2 will dissipate, -25 and three staff votes.
SCP-4221 is a virus that infects human males in the early stages of puberty. Method of transmission is [ DATA EXPUNGED ]. No symptoms of the virus are displayed until infected person, now on referred to as “subject” engages in sexual intercourse. The virus infects the sperm (SCP-4221-2) of subject. When SCP-4221-2 is passed to a human female it will attempt to fertilize an egg. When an egg is fertilized it will produce an embryo in the womb, -21 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
There's definitely potential for horror here, but the article is painfully underdeveloped. This doesn't have to go in crazy directions or anything, it can merely be some example of "weird biology, barely anomalous" sci-fi. But you have get people react more than the initial "oh, that'd be pretty bad".
SCP-4173 is composed of two parts. SCP-4173-1 appears to be an antique mirror approximately 214 cm tall and 61 cm wide. SCP-4173-2 is a dimension, identical to ours, except that there are no members of the kingdom Animalia. There are also no SCPs in this dimension, except for SCP-4173-1. People inside of this dimension try to live their normal life, despite that there are no animals or SCPs. He/she will also devote an unnecessary amount of time searching for what SCP-4173-1 showed them (see below), -21 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the connection with SCP-2398 seems extremely gratuitous. I mean, I could go for esoteric links, but the Foundation here is presented as either incompetent with them apparently constantly getting a SCP object taken out of its containment by personnel to use it on a mirror because some weird compulsion (or a legit reason not explained) or them wasting their time just because a scientist committed suicide with a object next to another for no apparent reason.
SCP-4051 is a promotional keychain for █████████ Corp, a defunct toy manufacturer that specialized in knock-off toys. It is an imitation Lego-brand plastic "mini-figure" with a chain coming out of its head, with the logo and name of █████████ Corp on its chest. The chain leads to a standard metal key ring. SCP-4051's primary anomalous property is it causes people to disappear. If no instance of SCP-4051-A currently exists, when a key is put on SCP-4051's keyring, whoever put the key on the ring becomes SCP-4051-A. Only one SCP-4051-A instance exists at a time. Within the next 30 days, always while unobserved, SCP-4051-A will vanish. If constantly monitored, observation of SCP-4051-A will be interrupted by anomalous means, -11 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
I skimmed through it, and it seems fine, but Christ is it long, and I think that's what's hurting it.
The anomaly was simple, but its backstory and twists were comprehensive and complex. It was also rigorously written. I do not find the simplicity of an anomaly to be indicative of its viability as an SCP; its context was interesting, and that's what I found important.
—-
This SCP was very interesting, was well-written, had a nice twist, and avoided many common pitfalls of SCPs. Why did this get downvoted so much with little-to-no feedback as to why?
Edit: As to the length, I really appreciated that it was so fleshed-out. This is a scientific journal, and thorough experimentation was performed, giving us a more comprehensive idea of how the item operates. Also, the SCP was given a thorough backstory that even spends time alluding to an anomalous company, which makes it even more interesting. The thoroughness of this SCP is refreshing to me; the writer extensively developed their idea and the backstory for it, whereas many writers will only develop the super engaging parts of their idea. Should we only have SCPs where the article provides quick and concentrated stimulation to the reader?
If this is your first SCP you did a good job. I liked how you made the discovery it’s own paragraph. Normally people just say “it was found in [REDACTED] on [REDACTED] but you made a good backstory to it.
However I feel like the anomaly is mediocre at best. It feels like something is missing. Yes it makes people disappear and then impersonate them but what else? Maybe have them try to lure them into a trap or something.
I don't know how to feel about this one. It's not bad, but it also takes waaaay too long to get to its juicy bits. The "edit in progress" format screw feels seriously underused. No vote from me.
This SCP is currently at -7 not because of any egregious conceptual issues, but rather the actual quality of writing itself, specifically a number of problematic phrases.
(no more, no less)
with no less than two pairs of armed security personnel on permanent retainer. (listing specific numbers of guards)
in the event of any movement.
in a high security humanoid containment cell (why high?)
It is an imitation ████ brand (why censor?)
in an inert state
SCP-4051 "attunes"
usually a person connected… usually by phone or text message
(90% of all cases)
sounds like
Containment procedures have been updated to reflect this.
ever owned
went bankrupt
hairless… growing hair
no physiological or pathological reason for this
No additional anomalous properties known.
which sounded like her husband,
opened the apartment door… of the apartment
Without discussing it with anyone
David Ray missing persons case
out of evidence
started using it
D-35598 was granted
own separate room
limited permission to move around the facility
put the key
given the same privileges… pair were given
No special effort
escape containment
(with key)
turned up
put it
lights went out
started screaming
just sitting there
Skip-4051
Too late.
fingers were broken
For the entire time
In addition:
That's by no means the extent of the problems, but this is a tad more tedious than I anticipated.
In short: You have a good idea, and good execution. You have a damn good idea and damn good execution. Work on ironing out awkward or unprofessional phrases like listed above. This'll sound stupid, but read it aloud as professionally as possible.
—-
As it stands right now, the file is very much improved from its original state. The new iteration of the technician's interaction with the SCP is, as well.
Although being unnecessarily verbose is something at should be avoided, I felt like the original article read a bit more conversationally than it ought to have. Saying "the lights went out" instead of "the lighting equipment malfunctioned" is the main issue here. The verbose counterpart would be "the illumination devices positioned in proximity to SCP-4051-A experienced technical failure and thus ceased to perform their natural function".
The usage of a div function isn't something specifically referenced in any guide, it's just something to help your article to not feel barebones. If you want to keep it this way, it's fine.
You're welcome, by the way. Thanks for being willing to accept advice.
SCP-4058, blank, summarily deleted with Shaggydredlocks witnessing.
SCP-4056 is a robotic entity said to be from the year 2243 according to the android. SCP-4056 was found in New York in the year 2011 inside a shopping mall. It was believed to be a cosplayer until it attacked a man who had gotten angry at it. SCP-4056 hit the man with a metal limb that caused the man to experience severe brain damage. The SCP Foundation later contained SCP-4056 in site 45. SCP-4057 appears like a metal man, slightly rusted at the joints. Gerald changed his skin colour to the standard white of most white people. This happened because, as he qouted 'We wanted to look more human. And this tone of skin is the first we saw when you walked in here'. Gerald has a storage unit below his chest, it contained clothes that Gerald put on when he found them. SCP-4056. It was discovered during an interview that SCP-4056 contains two A.I, both are sentient and as smart as humans. But one is smarter than the other. The A.I have introduced themselves as 'Dexter' and 'Dust' these are not their true names but nicknames given to them. The SCP Foundation has failed to uncover SCP-4056's true names so far.
Deleted at -18 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
The concept of two somewhat minds inhabiting the same body, while not exactly the newest trick in the book, does have some kick to it. But the actual execution of this is ultimately rather poor.
There are also issues of tone (eg. "the standard white of most white people") and formatting (either read the guides or just copy how it's done in other articles), but even if those were fixed your article would still be weak.
SCP-4084 is a Sony NA5ES bookshelf speaker retrieved from the residence of ████ ███████ after they were reported to have committed suicide, and having left a note written in blood, which had been taken and dropped in a puddle on accident.
Deleted at -18 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
The formatting for the Item #/object class/containment procedures/description is off. Just look at other files and see what's wrong.
There are multiple problematic phrases that seem far too casual to be kept in the document. I'd recommend reading more on the site to understand common jargon. e.g., "ordinary room" should probably be "Secure Storage Vault", or something to that effect.
The article seems very quick to jump on the idea that it's a demon haunting the stereo, instead of an ambiguous "entity".
There are multiple references to specific, redacted doctors. Remove those. Mention of these researchers is unnecessary to the file.
First of all, formatting errors, find and fix them, second of all the white void background-image that you used doesn't help it seem more realisitic. The idea seems very bland, it's a speaker that makes people go crazy. We have so many things that make people go crazy, and this doesn't bring a lot to the table to differentiate it from the others.
It comes off as another possessed object that is very scary and will make people commit suicide. If you were to add some sort of story/rhyme or reason to these effects, making it seem more coherent, then I might like it. But until then, -1.
welp I tried, I suck at making SCPs lol
Oh, cut it with the "woe is me". It helps nobody, but especially not you. Many people have written one or more SCPs that have failed but then they've honed their craft and eventually done successful articles.
Anyways, there's actually some degree of potential here, in spite of the somewhat generic premise. I particularly like the reactions of the demons to the music and the fact the Foundation isn't quite sure what's causing the different reactions.
What I don't like is how cliche almost everything else here is. It's "spooky audio" that has been done a million other times. Good articles need to be unique in some way, and this unfortunately fails at doing so.
SCP 4329 is a large reptilian/mechanoid alien
that arrived on earth by asteroid impact 100 years ago. It is 15
meters in height and weighs exactly one ton. It has long steel
like tail and massive amounts of strength.
The one thing the foundation really knows about this beast is
that its blood is extremely acidic. If need be to terminate 4329
by bullets its advised to wear acid resistant armor.
SCP 4329-1 are eggs containing a crab like creature with acidic blood,
when 4329-1 leaves egg it proceeds to latch onto the face of the closest
creature, except 4329, and implants an egg inside the victim.
Currently anyone who is a victim must be exterminate on site.
Research is currently being discussed by the 05 council.
Deleted at -31 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
Ok, first of all fix that formatting, I don't know why you put all the paragraphs that far in, or even how to be honest. And second of all, this is just the Alien from the Alien movie series with nothing added. You can't just copy things from pop culture and make them SCPs unless you really know what you are doing when you do it, that's sorta plagirism and sorta boring for anyone reading it, because they already know what it is, and want originality out of articles.
The clinical tone falls over in a lot of places, you used the word "beast" and "alien" and "really" for god's sake. Those are just some errors ive noticed, there's probably more in there. Anyway seeing how this is just a somewhat poorly done copy of Alien, it's downvote for me.
Creating a cheap knock-off of the Xenomorph is not going to make your article succeed. If you are going to use the Xenomorph as your starting point for your article, you should really do a whole lot to make it stand out, either subverting audience expectations or turning the concept sufficiently from its roots that the similarity feels justified. How that would actually go would depend on lots of things, but in general it involves not going for mere surface-level changes
SCP-4903, unfinished, summarily deleted with Varaxious witnessing.
