Let's hope this goes well!
This is an SCP Dr. Camel and I coauthored. If anyone has suggestions or comments, put them below :).
SCP-4227 / Discussion
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This was an SCP concept I had been developing in my head for a short while. I posted it on a discord server and RadReed offered to help me. So here we are now. I did most of the file, concepts and images and RadReed worked on some of the logs and corrected my writing.
Below are where I got the images:
Blank lake
This image was taken and edited by me.
A warning
This image was taken by me.
SCP-4227
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hualalai_pit_crater_Na_One.jpg
https://www.deviantart.com/kerast/art/Dust-particles-on-lens-461101707
The original picture is licensed under creative commons and the filter is considered free to use by the creator. The rest was done by me.
SCP-4227-B
This image was taken and edited by me.
Larsson
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hfmiresearch3.jpg
The picture is licensed under creative commons.
Ive cleared the tags out twice as they are incorrect. Please refrain from tagging your article if you are unsure which tags to use, and allow a tech team member to handle it.
Sorry about that, this is our first time creating an SCP. Where could I get someone to tag it for us?
This is a very good idea, I’d just recommend maybe removing the question marks and also you never specified what SCP-4227-1 was…
In addition you may want to remove the part where it’s ‘theorized’ That lost items go to the air pocket, because there’s no real evidence to back this up
Oops, the ones on the (can’t remember word) shrinks growing log bits. Additionally you should probably go through and make the writing more professional. It’s most likely that all exploratory personnel would carry shoulder mounted cameras as well so in that last log the handoff of the drs camera seems like a useless plot point.
Hey, thanks again for the critique. I followed what you suggested and removed the theorized part. I also removed the question marks. Feel free to reread and rerate the article if you would like.
Your photo of SCP-4227-A is by an artist named Trever Henderson, who does not put his work under creative commons which means it cannot be used. Please remove the photo, it is disrespectful to the artist and to the site.
Hey! I removed the photo. Why I used it was because I was not aware that the photo had to have been put under Creative Commons or something similar to be used. I thought using Creative Commons was more because it’s easier. So I went by fair use laws and thought that using someone else’s art was ok if you credit it (which you can see if you scroll up a little and open a collapsible).
Just in general, stay away from works by artists because it's their property and therefore fair use can be iffy in these situations, especially if they don't explicitly say use can put it under fair use. You're not in trouble or anything, just something to keep in mind for the future.
I think confirming that the airplane under the water is the Malaysian flight is a little too on the nose. I think the impact would be more effective if you just focused on an entire plane being underwater as the shocking bit, instead of it being not only an underwater plane, but an extremely well known missing plane, goes a little too far in my opinion. Especially since it's inclusion is to further lead to the existence of 4227-1, but it being just a random Boeing 777-200ER already accomplishes that. Plus it seems strange and extremely convenient that G6-2 is immediately able to recognize and confirm that it is the missing Malaysian Flight (especially since he doesn't even know it well enough to know the flight number.)
I also find it strange that the effect shown on Dr. Saint in Exploration Log Bravo causes the requirement to pass with a score of 27 on the standardized Memetic/Cognitohazard test to go on further tests. But he is just allowed to go on the next exploration without any mention of the test. Regardless, I don't even think they would even allow him to go on another exploration.
Lastly G-4 saying "Holy shit! Protect the researcher!" in Exploration Log Charlie just seems like a weird line to me, and I'm not sure why, just doesn't quite flow like normal dialogue.
Otherwise though, I really do like it. Has a lot of unique ideas put into it and interesting implications
I feel like most of the logs/collapsible could be removed without having any affect on the actual article, seeing how they really don't show that much in forms of new or relevant information. All the exploration logs are just really short, with only like one thing happening then everyone leaves consistently every time. I'm no-voting for now, but this just feels to me like a mess of ideas with logs added on to add meat, even though the logs barely do much to the article itself. This could be fixed if it was cut down a bit and polished more, then it might be something good.
Edit: After thinking about this for a while, I'm starting to think that those collapsibles mentioned about bring this down more than I originally thought. I'm downvoting now, but hope to change that when/if you delete some extraneous logs that don't serve any purpose.
"Alright this thing should be working, The date today is 02/2█/█6 and I am currently conducting an exploration of SCP-422."
Did you mean to say SCP-4227?
~Snakes
I really enjoyed the concept - it felt deeply eerie in an almost folkloric way, with a great sense of building tension. The one thing I would critique a bit is that after the O4 clearance warning, the fact that there wasn't a bigger reveal besides a researcher killing himself and getting lost felt a bit anti-climactic.
I am going to get in contact with Camel and see if I could possibly rewrite that portion. Other people have suggested more with the -1, so maybe I can add a revealing bit to it. I am also going to rewrite the last test log (The one where Dr. Saint dies) as now I feel it isn't fitting.
Instead of "If 1 or more SCP-4227-A or SCP-4227-B instance(s) breaches containment" I'd recommend "In the event that 1 or more SCP-4227-A or SCP-4227-B instance(s) breaches containment". Just my thoughts.
Still, I like the concept. It's a +1 from me.
/forum/t-8790109/scp-4227#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
